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expartebollmanisirrelevant :

not to post even more Villains Discourse on main but it really bugs me how people read giving villains tragic backstories as inherently excusing their actions and/or demonizing trauma survivors.

the actual message of Tragic Villains is (almost) always “people who are never taught or given any healthy, constructive outlets for their emotions will often find unhealthy, destructive outlets.” it’s that people who are traumatized and never learn how to cope with that trauma can become a danger to themselves and others. the message isn’t “trauma makes you evil!!!!” or “genocide is okay if you’ve been sad before!!!!” it’s “people need compassion and help to recover from trauma instead of becoming increasingly angry and harming themselves and others in the process.”

this site takes an alarmingly behaviorist and punitive approach to everything and it’s literally the most annoying thing. y’all have this concept that “if we just punish people hard enough, if we just scare them enough, if we just make them feel guilty enough.” that people just Do Bad Things Because They Do Bad Things, I Guess, and Because We Didn’t Threaten Them And Shame Them Enough. but humans are an innately social species. at our very core, we need compassion and kindness. we need healthy relationships with other humans.

you can keep looking at traumatized villains and being like “haha this dumb pathetic sadboi thinks murder is okay because his parents died” but as a survivor myself, unaddressed/untreated trauma absolutely can make you ragey and destructive. i was lucky enough to have support and eventually get the treatment i needed. but it’s not hard at all for me to imagine how, if that hadn’t been the case, that could’ve been me. obviously not on a movie-villain scale like murder or war crimes, but it’s so irritating as someone whose trauma has always manifested as anger to watch people on this site be like “this is just bad writing!!! real survivors/good survivors don’t end up like that the writers just hate survivors and want the audience to condone murder!”

sheathandshear :

dreamsofacommonlanguage :

Being queer saved my life. Often we see queerness as deprivation. But when I look at my life, I saw that queerness demanded an alternative innovation from me. I had to make alternative routes; it made me curious; it made me ask, "Is this enough for me?"

— Ocean Vuong

hyrude :

bdsm enjoyers r onto something. i think we should incorporate aftercare into just hanging out. i need a buddy to hold me and say “that was really fun and you seemed normal”

strawberry-crocodile :

i fucking hate how “wholesome” is so often placed as directly opposite sexual content. I hate puritanism you’re not being “wholesome” you’re shaming something completely healthy. A lot of people are sexual. Let them fucking express it in their own space.

people who ask you questions or state things in a way or tone that's typically used to insinuate something negative and then question why you freeze up when they do so....what do you MEAN you meant nothing by it!?

desolationlesbian :

Applying for jobs is a hell designed specifically to torment autistic people. Here is a well-paying task which you know in your heart and soul if they just gave you a desk and left you alone and allowed you to do it you would sit there and be more focused and enthusiastic and excellent at it than anyone else in the building. However, before they allow you to perform the task, you must pass through 3-4 opaque social crucibles where you must wear uncomfortable clothes and make eye contact while everyone expects you to lie, but not too much (no one is ever clear exactly how much lying is expected, “over” honesty is however penalized). You are being judged almost entirely on how well you understand these very specific and unclear rules that no one has explained. None of this has anything to do with your ability to perform the desired task.

thinking back on it, my coworkers and supervisor really didnt like me huh

like, the amount of times my body language was brought up, or i was asked 'are you okay?', seemingly at random.......was i 'giving off signals' that i was annoyed or smth?? really upset that i worked to the best of my ability and didnt slack off but was let go when other people, who were continuously careless and sloppy, were rewarded

my supervisor often could not understand what i was saying, and would get frustrated and id have to repeat myself over and over before she'd understand. she put me on a project by myself and then told me i wasnt productive enough after two weeks of me trying to simultaneously troubleshoot project issues and train people nonstop, but she also wouldn't check on my progress as often as she did with everyone else. she'd literally walk up to everyone and briefly talk to them about what was going on, but then she'd glance at me, make eye contact with me, and leave

idk what i did to annoy these people so much but it had to have all been unconscious, because i actively tried to make myself as approachable and as helpful and non-confrontational as possible. people were rude and short with me, and i did not bring specific instances up to my supervisor because.....idk i thought we were all adults and supposed to just move past things like this. but apparently not, cause the same people who were rude to my face were the ones that complained about me

this is just really discouraging because i tried my hardest and it got me nowhere, and it really seems like i just didnt 'vibe' with my team enough

well this is funny, I just got let go

compulsiveobsessing :

i LOVE not talking at work i love being able to do my assigned tasks silently and not have to constantly use my voice or figure out how to keep a conversation going

however. i am coming across as uninterested and not social enough and i feel like this may dampen my supervisor's perception of me and my drive

i LOVE not talking at work i love being able to do my assigned tasks silently and not have to constantly use my voice or figure out how to keep a conversation going

however. i am coming across as uninterested and not social enough and i feel like this may dampen my supervisor's perception of me and my drive

when posts/websites/research papers focus on how your disorder affects your loved ones' quality of life instead of your own

lmao i think i might be autistic

does anyone else sometimes get too overwhelmed/tired to make facial expressions??

before/during a shutdown i sometimes become conscious of my expressions and dont want to go through the effort of making them?? it's the same for my speaking voice, im suddenly conscious of inflection and dont want to try and make myself sound more animated than i am

imconfusedallthetimehelp :

Anyone: "what is wrong with you?"

Me *in my head* well, after figuring out I was a lesbian and was happy with that, this thing called gender identity creeped up on me. It's a little something like this: I like she/her, but if I got called they/them, I wouldn't have any negative feelings twords it. But if I got called he/him, it wouldn't sit right with me. I don't like feminine clothes on me. I feel very uncomfortable. Chest. Flat. Thank you. Jeans? Baggy. Shirts? Boxy. Sweatshirts? A size bigger. Makeup? Nope. Do I wear a dress for fancy occasions? Not really. And its rare. But do I have a suit and would much rather wear that? Hell yes. Flanels? All day. I might be non-binary. But I might also be gender fluid. Or bigender. But I know I'm not 100% a woman. Or a girl. I'm like 1\3 a woman. If anyone calls me "ma'am" or "lady" or "young woman\lady" I literally want to scream. If someone called me an enby? Honestly I wouldn't correct them cause idk what the fuck I am. I go be "sir" thank you. I've been an very androgynous and or masculine person most of my life. But I just don't know what I am. And it bugs me. Gender is confusing.

Me: "not sure lmao"

ocd-culture :

Ocd culture is when people decide which intrusive thoughts are 'acceptable' while completely ignoring the fact that they're called intrusive thoughts for a reason. (Idk if that makes sense but I've seen this happen alot)

oh yeah this is the worst. I think the issue is that, with the normalisation of intrusive thoughts, a lot of mental health activists (particularly on tumblr) sanitised it down to “haha sometimes I think about eating leaves”.

so. reminder that you’re valid if your intrusive thoughts are:

uncomfortable

violent

sexual

too scary to say out loud

things that make you feel like a bad person

there’s no such thing as an “unacceptable” intrusive thought because these thoughts are intrusive. they’re uncontrollable. and they’re thoughts. someone who has thoughts about hurting others is not the same as someone who does hurt others.

goldkirk :

in case no one’s told you yet, you feel exhausted and hungover and sometimes even sick after panic attacks/meltdowns/flashbacks/dissociative episodes/etc. because of very real chemical processes that are involved in your nervous system activation and de-activation during those times. it’s chemical dump effects, and no, you SHOULDN’T be able to just brush it off and feel and act normal. you’ve got a bunch of physical things that got activated and that all has to wind down. It’s not in your head, it’s very physical, and you need to work WITH your body during the after-periods instead of trying to curb stomp it. be gentle to yourself, okay?

seraph-draws-stuff :

what i wanted to say: this tired me out and i’m pretty sure i’m about to go nonverbal

what i said: nothing, bc i had already gone nonverbal

xxx-stim-xxx :

whenever something slightly stresses me out