i think we as a community have done a good job of giving dionysus the fat body he deserves but i think we need more dadbod zeus in our lives. no more heroic ideal for him, i want zeus with a round stomach and tons of body hair and a graying beard and laugh lines around his eyes from so many years spent laughing with his children. i want a zeus who cracks open a hard-earned bud light at the end of the day and stands at the grill with his socks and sandals and a hawaiian print chiton
You’re not a Nazi, Jojo. You’re a ten-year-old kid who likes dressing up in a funny uniform and wants to be part of a club.
JOJO RABBIT (2019)
dir. Taika Waititi
#That's such a shame our absolute stupid government *read russian* banned that movie cause they thought it makes Hitler looks good in the #eyes of the history #like did you even BOTHERED to watch the movie???? or you just read the fist line of summory about a boy who idolise Hitler and then banned #it without reading it till the ed? #or did you watch and you tiny little brain couldn't see that the boy ehm started to despise Hitler and even freaking killed him cause he #though he's disgusting? #didn't you realise that was a story of a 10yo boy who lived in the inforation buble and being told that Hitler is everything and who saw #though that buble and realised he was lied to his whole freaking tiny life? #what a bad movie yes what a baaaaaad movie #OR DID YOU FEAR THAT PEOPLE WILL START TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CREATED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING BUBLE??????? #well some of us realised that long ago you fuckers #errru’s ramblings#jojo rabbit
If you can hear echoes of the Ainulindale in the sea, and if you can hear the sea if you hold up a seashell to your ear... Are seashells basically headphones that exclusively play the Ainulindale?
How haven't I seen this??? DOMI you know I love you right??? 💖😭
I'm not gonna lie, the Osferth part was the original scene I had in mind haaha From the show we can see Osferth and Leofric were pretty close (at least I think so) and I wanted to give myself (and to y'all too) the one absured family moment we were robbed of😂 *and yes i did my math calculating how old Osferth was in the first season and then remembered Leofric said in the books how old he is lmao*
I was so affraid he won't be on character, your words are like the water for me 😭
And oh do you know how many lines like these one Leofric said in the books?? I absoltely adore him😂💖
And I, on my side, can't wait for me to write something else for TLK lmao *i'm trying tho I still have 2 celebrations entries to make 👉🏼👈🏼
Summery: Reader and Leofric are talking about their scars.
Word counts: 3.286
TW: mention of blood, slight hint of raping, otherwise everything is as innocent as a newborn baby and Leofric being an absolute sweetheart because he is when he’s not busy mocking Uthred ;D
AN: I'm back on track it seems and this is my first (of many) fic with Leofric. Why? Cause I love him dearly 💖This man is shamfully overlooked and this is the exact time we need to fix it! more Leofric content for y'all 👀
AN2: I reposted it, cause wehn i origianlly posted it i was in shadow-ban and post've been hidden
“Drink this after meals, lady, it will soothe the pain,” you were pacing towards the door with a few wooden cups in your hands, and when one of your feet was already outside, you turned to face Mildrith. “And please, do not put it into ale, only into water, my lady.”
“Y/N, I do not deserve you.” She said in a soft voice and you answered with a smile.
The day was chilly, fall’s wind was biting and the air was getting more and more moist with each day. Uthred and his men were scouting the Mercian borders from time to time, scaring away the tiny parties of the Danes and helping villagers.
You walked from Uthred’s house to your own, that was on the other side of Cookham, putting more speed at your pace when you finally saw the wooden door of your home. You blew it open, pressing your back to the wood with all the weight you had - hands busy with gathered cups and fingers stiff at their adge. You put the cups down on the little table you had just near the doorway and tried to heat up your fingers by blowing the warm air from your mouth on them, as you turned to the center of the room to seek the heat of the fireplace, leaping up on the spot from seeing a man, crouched before the fire, back facing the doorway.
You didn’t need to ask for the name, because only one man from all the ones of Uthred’s and his friends could bust in your home without bothering himself to ask you first.
Well, actually there were two, Uthred himself wasn’t much of a high behaviour, but we’re not talking about him now.
“Leofric?” You paced deep into the room, arching the sitting man. They just arrived from yet another scouting, as you saw Uthred, all waisted with exhaustion, when you were with Mildrith.
“Y/N…” he lifted his stare up your legs to your body and finally to your face, a gloomy smile shone on his face. “It’s nothing, I didn’t want to bother you.” The Dane’s ax probably has found its way through Leofric’s mail and tipped the skin on his side.
You exhaled, crouching next to him. “Let me help.” You bent forward to take the needle from his hand, but Leofric tugged it back.
“I’ll manage, thank you” he grumbled, twisting his body uncomfortably to take a better look at the wound he was trying to treat. You pushed him slightly to the forehead, almost making him fall back and seized the needle from his trembling hand.
“Why are you men always so tempted to do everything on your own, when you have people trained specifically in the field?” He said nothing, much to your surprise, because Leofric always had something to say, something to joke himself out of troubles. You put the needle aside. “What did you want to treat with that needle? This wound merely needs a bandage soaked in herbed water.”
Leofric pouted, scratching his nape. “I remember you mended Uthred’s wound, it was the same and I tho-“
“No, it wasn't,” you said softly as you poured some smelly water into the bowl and put a long, thin piece of fabric into it, along with a few small ones. “Uthred’s one was deep and dangerous and this one…” you lifted the hem of his tunic to study the wound, letting shivers run down Leofric’s skin, for your hands were still cold from the gloomy weather. “This one just needs to be cleaned up.”
Leofric looked at you, the brown eyes clenched into yours and you saw a glimpse of shame glinting in them, but only laughed softly. “Put the tunic off”
He gave you a look. “I know that every girl is trying to lay her eyes on my beauties, but Y/N, I thought you're a better woman” Despite his wound, even though it wasn’t any bad it still hurt much, Leofric was in a good mood. He leaned on his arm and laughed.
You chuckled, rolling your eyes at the joke. “Then, I guess, my Gods have favoured me.” He smiled, now wholeheartedly, looking at you putting the bowl next to your knees. “I’m serious, Leofric, take off your tunic.”
He breathed out all the air he had and grabbed the hem of the tunic, lifting it up carefully, trying no to touch the wound. The skin around it was reddish and itchy and you saw the muscles on his side twitching, for he wanted to scratch it badly. You were focused on the wound, helping Leofric to lift the tunic by barely touching the hem and shielding the wound from its soft material, as you were distracted by the other scars around it. The higher the tunic was lifted the more scars you saw on Leofric’s body, and if you would try to count how many of it he has, you’d have lost in the number after reaching twenty or so, and that only scars at his belly and chest.
Leofric noticed your eyes wandering from one scar to another. “A man of many scars, eh?” he said with a smile and you gulped, mind busy with making a response.
“Well…” You murmured quietly, then seizing Leofric’s eyes with your stare you just laughed out “I think your mail sucks…” Leofric laughed sharply, nodding a few times.
The laughter died on your lips when you tugged the bowl with the soaked fabric closer, suddenly remembering that you had a wound to treat. Leofric was sitting in front of you, legs twisted before him and you knocked slightly on his knee. “I need some space.” you said, making his legs rest on the floor on the both sides of you, as he nodded.
You made yourself comfortable, sitting between his thighs so you could easily reach his side. Leofric hissed and jerked on the feeling of the cold, wet cloth and the liquid that was pinching badly on the raw meat of the wound. “This hurts more than the wound itself!” He pouted like a child and the light giggle that rolled off your lips only made him roll his eyes.
Now, when you were done with cleaning, you pressed another piece of fabric, the long one, to his wound, you had to lean forward to wrap it around Leofric’s body and tie the two edges.
“Y/N, if you wanted to put your head on my bare chest you could’ve simply asked me.” Leofric said, and even if you couldn’t catch his stare on your head - cheek just slightly rubbing against his skin - you heard it in his voice that he was smiling. “I have no heart to decline to lay with such a beautiful woman!”
“Leofric!” You snapped at him so savagely, he almost leaped on the spot, but burst into laughter after. The urge to punch him was so tense, you felt the blood in your hands boiling. “You’re such a child!” You growled. “Stop laughing, you’re not helping!”
You tied the fabric so tight around Leofric’s body, he let the hiss at the tightness of it, and demanded him to sit on the spot for a few more minutes, for the wound should absorb the useful elements of the liquid, or it won't help.
“Take this.” You stood up and paced to the table where the vasin with ale was standing and poured it into two cups, handing one of them to Leofric and collapsing next to him on the floor. You were gazing at him over the edge of your cup, eyes again attracted to the numberless scars on his body.
“I’d tell you about mine, if you tell me about yours.” He sneered, putting his cup on the floor. “This one, on your hand?” Leofric glanced over your forearm, on which the huge white scar was placed. He gaped at the look of it. “Looks painful.”
You only nodded. “I was playing with my friend when I was a little child - a catch,” you added, smiling on Leofric shivering from the word. It seems the big man didn’t quite like running. “and when I was running from her, I fell on one of the pikes my father made to place them on the fence.” You were rubbing the white bulge on your hand. “The pike went through my arm.”
“Sweet Christ!” He shrugged, looking at the scar. “You must’ve been terrified? I have one scar from the arrow that went through my leg,” Leofric tugged the hem of one of his trousers leg and pointed at the dot-looking scar on the right calf. “The bastard Dane got me with his damned arrow, that beast hurt as hell.” He saw your face winced and scoffed silently. “It’s your turn, ask?”
It was rather an unfair game, for you had so little scars and Leofric had so many of them, and you had a few you were interested to hear him speak about. You pointed to his chest - the scar there was almost as long as broad Leofric’s chest was and started near his right side and ended on the left side of his chest.
Leofric laughed, tapping the scar. “That’s one from childhood, too!” He looked through you and the smile on his face suddenly vanished, turned into a scowl. “I was with my sister, Eadgyth, we went swimming to the river, and I was helpless in the water then, so the stream got me and led me right into the fisherman's net. I nearly died then, with a rope tangled around my chest so tight I thought it was about to burst into pieces.” You realized you weren’t breathing, pictures of a little boy tugged into the hurling water and his sister screaming for help flashed in your mind. “The rope razed into my skin so deep, people said they saw my bones. The local healer was a clumsy bastard, so he mended it poorly.” He pouted, pouring ale into his mouth and then grubbing your hand swiftly he placed one of your fingers to the wound. “See? Fucking disaster!”
It was true and your eyes widened on the feeling of the old scar that was mended so poorly, it was all out of place. “I would’ve done it better.”
“You would definitely have.” Leofric smirked, noticing he still had his hand on yours and you were still rubbing the scar gently, and he must have admitted he felt uncommonly light in the chest under the timid touch. “Well, it’s not even my biggest, eh.” He smiled again, recalling the moment of getting his biggest scar, which also was gifted to him when he was a boy of 15 years old.
“It’s not?” You thought your scar on the hand was big, and it was, enough to scare little children from running near the workplaces, but you didn’t think you would see something bigger than Leofric’s chest’s scar.
“I annoyed my sister so damn hard by beating up the boy she was interested in,” and after a pause he added that the boy was a rascal and only wanted to hump her. ‘she beated the shit out of my bare back with the rye stems…” Leofric saw you giggling shamelessly, or they ale did instead of you, and leaned forward with a frown. “That was pretty painful, why are you laughing?” He turned his back on you, grumping loudly. “Look how she destroyed my poor back! It was the most beautiful back in the whole of Wessex and look at it now!”
You gasped silently, letting the tips of your fingers run over Leofric’s back, feeling a dozen thin but long scars underneath your fingers. His back was as one of a slave, he hardly had a one inch of smooth skin on it and his whole body shivered when you put your palms flat to his back, covering the scars.
“I wish I had you to beat the shit out of everyone who tried to use me…” Gavilly whisper left your mouth without your concern, the ale decided what you wanted to say. “I wouldn’t have rewarded you with that…”
You haven’t noticed the tears started to roll down your face, smashing at Leofric’s back. You felt his back stop moving as he held his breath, mind too busy figuring out what to say. But you were already too overwhelmed with memories and emotions - your hands slid down Leofric’s back and you leaned on it like on a pillow, chick pressed to one of the dozen tiny scars.
Both of you were silent for a few heartbeats, feeling the tension filling the room.
“Y/N?” Leofric tried to half-turn, putting his arm right under your belly to make sure you won’t fall off his back as he tried to look at you. You answered with unconscious sniff.
He lifted you from his back with his hand slowly and, for you were crying bubbling in his hands, he let you sink into him and tangle your hands around his chest, finding comfort in his towering figure. Leofric didn’t know what to say, placing his hands softly on your back, but he knew well enough that saying nothing was better than saying something stupid. You nuzzled into his chest, feeling his heart thundering heavily, it was beating like war drums and you suddenly felt his hands clenching into your back, pressing you tighter to himself. There was war waging inside his mind and Leofric found himself figuring the ways to find the bastards and beating the living soul out of them. Should he just cut them open from their guts to throats? Or put them in the first row of the shield wall? That would be too much of an honor for them, Leofric thought, to die for Wessex, they have to just die, for nothing, for the things they have done to you.
A few minutes passed in silence, with your light sobbing being the only sound in the room. Suddenly, you tore yourself off Leofric’s body, sniffing and wipping your face with your palms.
“I’m sorry…” You murmured, looking shamefully at the floor.
“You don’t have to.” He bent a little, trying to see your face, but you just sniffed, a trembling smile tugging on your reddish face.
“I don’t know why I said this, I didn’t have to bring it up on you…”You shifted from one leg to another, as you felt Leofric closed the distance between you and wrapped his hands around you, just as he did a few minutes ago.
“Do you want me to find them?” He leaned back a bit to be able to see your face. “I’ll make sure they suffer, oh, I will…” The graveness in his voice scarred you a little, but the smile on your face drew itself without asking you.
You shook your head. “No, Leofric, I don’t.”
“Anything else I can do?” He asked, the hard note in his voice turned into one soothing.
You took your time to answer, still being in close proximity to Leofric’s bare, scarred chest. Your eyes glued to that huge scar he had already spoken about, and you couldn’t help yourself to cover it with the tips of your finger, feeling Leofric drew air as his broad chest had risen immediately. You brought your gaze to his face, eyes meeting his with a glint of shyness. “Do you have any funny stories?”
Leofric’s mouth fell open with a light sigh. Well, he definitely didn't expect that exact request. He dropped his stare, trying to remember something light and laughed, stepping back from you and tugging up the trousers leg again, pointing at his other calf being crossed with a tiny white mark. “That's one from my nephew, Osferth.” Leofric said and you thought this is the first time you saw a smile as adorable as it was now on his face, while he was remembering the little boy. “He was sent to the monastery and I’m visiting him when I can, for neither his mother nor his father is allowed to see him,”
You gasped at what you’d heard. “This is cruelty! Why?”
Leofric shrugged. “He’s Alfred’s bastard, that’s why. But you’re not supposed to know.” He added then, whispering. You nodded, still the glint of surprise in your eyes. “So he’s around seven now. The boy is not really interested in being a monk, though he’s godly enough. I was talking with one of the nuns which looks after him when this little rascal tugged the saxe out of my belt and started running with it like demented and then accidently he bamped into my leg and, well,” he pointed at the scar and sneered. “Osferth was terrified with the amount of blood and I was trying not to swear like a pig in front of the kid and the nuns.” You tried to still the laugh, picturing Leofric jumping on one leg and growling through the closed teeth, when he had the urge to just shout in pain.
“It could have been a disaster!” You laughed out, much to Leofric’s joy and he nodded, agreeing.
Leofric saw a fire flickering in the window. It was late evening already and people were lighting up their ways home with the torches. He turned his eyes back at you, your body, so tired of that emotions’ thunder you had, shifting from foot to foot from not being stable enough, but still smiling at the thought of grumpy Leofric holding his grumpiness in front of the child.
He wrapped his hand around your exhausted body, steadying you for a moment, and in the matter of a heartbeat lifted you up, going straight to your bed. “It’s almost night already, you need to rest.” He lay you upon your bed carefully and stepped back a few paces. “Is there anything you need?” You shook your head, and Leofric was about to grub his tunic from the floor and take his leave, when you stopped him. “Actually…” and you dropped your stare, fidgeting the light material you were lying on. “Would you mind staying? I have had trouble sleeping these last few days…” you saw his lips forming a thin line as he threw a stare at you. “It's alright if you won’t, I bet you’re exhausted after helping Uthred with Danes.”
“I’ll stay,” Leofric came closer to you, and you made space for him to sit on the bed next to you. “I have a few more stories in my bag to tell you, eh.” He glanced over you with a smirk. “You know what they used to say?” You curled up one brow, already smiling on whatever Leofric was about to say. “Leofric is not only good looking, but a damn great at telling stories!” He saw the mirth in half-closed eyes of yours. “I’m not joking, you ask them about me when you’ll visit Winchester, see for yourself.”
Twenty minutes hadn’t passed and Leofric already was feeling you dozing off, murmuring something absurd along with his words. Have you ever thought of being talked into sleep by Leofric? Probably not. But there you were.
When Leofric woke up the next day’s morning, he felt the frail warm breath spreading across his back with your hand resting on his side. He lingered, not desiring to break the feeling he had not felt in years - the lightness in his chest.
When you woke up the next day’s morning, you saw a tray with food on the other side of the bed, and you thought that if Leofric could write, he would leave you a sweet note.
@easilydistractedbyfanfic @valhallasubstitute i dared to tag you, too, cause i saw in my reblogs you were so happy to see a bit content for Leofric, I thought you may like to see more of him? 🙈
Yes, I totally agree we need more Leofric context!!! He deserves it!!!
And oh my god, this fic is such a masterpiece <3 it's so beautifully written, I love Leofric's humour here. And I loved that story about Osferth! 🤣
“Y/N, if you wanted to put your head on my bare chest you could’ve simply asked me.” Leofric said, and even if you couldn’t catch his stare on your head - cheek just slightly rubbing against his skin - you heard it in his voice that he was smiling. “I have no heart to decline to lay with such a beautiful woman!”
And this made me smile like idiot👆👆🤣
You truly captured Leofric, I can totally imagine him saying this🤣😍🤣
It's really good fic, I totally love this and I can not wait to read more of TLK context of yours! 😍😍 You're pretty damn talented!!
The last play I watched before the pandemic was a Beauty And The Beast adaptation and when Gaston proposed to Belle there was this little boy in the audience who yelled NOOO DON’T SAY YES, so when Belle naturally turned him down Gaston turned to the boy with his hands on his hips and said “well, now look what you’ve done”
it makes me mad that the fandom is kinda dying down since season 5. i remember when season 5 trailer dropped and when everyone started talking about it and posting tlk content how great and fulfilling it was. but after season 5 everything just died down. like i can only see a handful of creators still posting about the show
I think it’s only natural that people’s enthusiasm for a show drops once a season is over. Once there is no new episodes some people get bored or perhaps just simply move into other fandoms. I’m sure it happens in all fandoms, just because TLK is so small it’s more noticeable. I agree it’s sad but I don’t think it’s the end of the world - hopefully when the movie drops people will come back and also as long as Netflix exists people will keep discovering the show and new people will come into the fandom. Also, the biggest reason the fandom is dying is not lack of creators but lack of interaction. After season 5 dropped there was so much excitement in the fandom but I think I got less reblogs and comments than I had when I first joined tumblr last January. If you want more of something you have to reblog it, maybe even give a small comment to give us encouragement, or we will just think no one cares.
#it makes me mad that the fandom is so small in the first place 😭😩 #i mean how come if the show is literally SO FUCKING GOOD? #is it lack of pr? cause I can't say people aren't interested in period shows #and i mean i can say when i say the show is good just cause i like something particular in it or when i say the show is good cause it #really good and it's not me convincing myself that this one actor i really like didn't wast their time on something pretty averege #i like convincing myself that everything i like is A+ show but it not always the case #but with TLK it is #and i can't join the dots and tell you why there's such a small fandom 😩
Eh, it's what I love about you - among many other things of course 😄 Thank you for your request @aduialel, and sorry it took me so long!!
(the sleepover was back in January, so the gif requests are closed right now!)
A/N: It's been a while since I wrote for Thranduil in this way, it was a welcome change! I tried to write a romantic fluffy drabble, but... it is me so yeah, that didn’t happen :)
Sindarin used:
- aran nin: my king
- edlothia nin: my flower
DANCE WITH ME
Your face scrunched up in disgust after you swallowed the last bit of Dorwinion wine from your glass. How all of your friends and kin could be so hooked on the red fluid, you’d never understand.
You didn’t care for these celebrations. Elves found any reason to party, it could be the Feast of Starlight or a celebration because the guard had returned from their weekly patrolling. It wasn’t for you. Not the dancing, not the music, the people or the food and wine. Definitely not the wine.
The only real reason why you were here - and at every other feast, gala or celebration for that matter - was currently dancing their heart out on the floor, laughing and clearly having a much better time than you were. Your younger sibling who couldn’t go out yet without a chaperone, and who you loved so dearly, you were willing to tolerate this year’s edition of… by Elentári, you couldn’t even remember what they were celebrating.
One of the guests of the party came towards you and stood by your side, silently watching the Elves on the dancefloor twirling about, but you were so focused on keeping an eye on your sibling that you didn’t pay him any further attention.
“You do not seem to enjoy yourself,” he stated after a few moments.
The snort you couldn’t hold back was muffled by the cheering of the guests when they brought new barrels of wine in the room.
“Is it that obvious?” you asked, stepping aside a little so you could see where your sibling was headed. Ah, of course… Wine.
“Perhaps I can ask you to join me for a dance?”
You waved your hand at him in a dismissive way, shaking your head to emphasize your refusal. “Oh no, I don’t dance.”
“Are you sure?”
“Believe me, no one could convince me to go on that floor.”
“Not even your King?”
“Not even King Thranduil.”
“Is that so?”
You couldn’t help but notice some amusement in his voice. How dare he? Why did everyone have a problem with you not wanting to dance? And what did your King have to do with all of this?
You finally looked towards the Ellon next to you and if you hadn’t placed your empty glass on a sidetable already, you would’ve dropped it to the ground in surprise.
Thranduil turned his head to look at you and couldn’t help the smirk on his lips, before he gave you a genuine smile that made you a little weak in your knees. Not that you would admit that to anyone.
“King Thranduil!” you gasped, before you remembered your manners and made a small curtsy. “Forgive me, I-”
He took your hand in his, effectively silencing you before he leaned in and asked, “If you do not dance and you are clearly not enjoying the festivities, may I invite you to join me outside? My gardens are especially beautiful under the starlight.”
You looked back at the party, trying to locate your sibling. Once you saw they were still enjoying themselves and very obviously not in need of your assistance, you nodded, accepting his invitation.
Thranduil guided you through the gardens, your arm hooked in his as you admired the beautiful flowers and plants. You completely missed the loving looks Thranduil gave you every time you smelled a flower or asked him a question, curious about a particular flower you’d never seen before.
When you came across a little arbor covered with white roses, you paused for a moment to take it all in. You were walking through the Royal Gardens, with none other than the King himself on your arm.
Thranduil let go of your arm and took your hands in his.
“Dance with me?”
“Aran nin, I already told you I do not dance. There is no music here,” you tried, too ashamed to explain to him you didn’t dance because you weren’t a very good dancer. You were an exceptionally skilled toe-stepper, yes, but you had a feeling King Thranduil wouldn’t appreciate that particular skill.
“Unless you'd rather have a glass of wine first?” He smiled knowingly at his last words.
“Please, anything but that!”
Thranduil chuckled. He loved your honesty, most of the other Elves wouldn’t even dare to tell him he had a poor choice of wine.
He took one of your hands in his and guided your other hand to his waist and did the same with you, silently asking you if this was okay.
“There’s no need to be afraid. We are alone here,” he said, thinking you were just too shy to dance with a crowd around you. “Now, edlothia nin, close your eyes and follow my lead…”
Needless to say Thranduil quickly learned the reason why you didn’t dance. After endless apologies from you, he assured you he was fine and he would be honored to take you for a walk again, just maybe not yet the next day.
If the Elves of the court noticed their King walking a little funny the next morning, they didn’t utter a word.
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