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3000s :

theyre talking about us again

anactualmoon :

americascomic :

there's something special about Calvin & Hobbes where Watterson could open a sunday funny with a realistic drawing of a dead bird and end it with the characters completely unable to work out the angst of morality.

ryangaslight :

sleepy-bebby :

Scromch and Scrungle

kamoi :

transangelicc :

Finally, a LGBTQ+ story without sex, drugs, love or fun!!! (me about my life)

maddhog :

Manscaped just pinned me down sheared my nuts and released me back into my enclosure like a barnyard sheep

andrearrrrr :

Perfect standing wave on a computer-controlled wave pool

sleepy-bebby :

“You’re not for the streets Pricilla.”

henstomper :

the catboys i signed for my all-catboy baseball team dont know what baseball is and theyre actively loudly sobbing whenever they miss a swing and whenever they dive to catch a ball it bonks them on the head and they go "uweh" and our pitcher closes his eyes whenever he throws because hes scared and we're beating every other team in the league

crazy-brazilian :

For my male audience

frogmunist-deactivated20190724 :

Oh boy!! It’s a fucking mystery?? A spooky scary mystery!! Better get fucking Sherlock Holmes on this one! It’s a big fucking mystery, with no obvious answer!

robstmartin :

This is not a Sherlock Holmes mystery. This is a Scooby-Doo mystery, where the villain is an old white guy pulling a real estate / inheritance scam.

daddythedragon :

Are Pokémon differentiated from wild animals? Or are all Pokémon a type of domesticated, therefore only considered feral without human socialization? If so, do wild animals even exist in the Pokémon universe, or is it just selected Pokémon that are wild and selected ones that are domesticated like here in our universe?

Perhaps not, considering that any Pokémon can be caught and bonded with a trainer, and in essence "domesticated", though I haven't played a Pokémon game in a dogs age so I'm probably missing Serious Pokémon Lore in that regard. Or perhaps, even the comparison to our own world only limits the ways a different world might be and in the end makes the juxtaposition moot.

aeruh :

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

malus-syl-vestris :

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

aeruh :

Regular pine needles are regular

malus-syl-vestris :

Not by rosemary standards

aeruh :

…Have you eaten pine needles?

malus-syl-vestris :

We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not

aeruh :

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

malus-syl-vestris :

Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

aeruh :

Are they…

spicy?

malus-syl-vestris :

You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”

aeruh :

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

malus-syl-vestris :

Ok but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

aeruh :

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

malus-syl-vestris :

Please Don’t Do That

aeruh :

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

malus-syl-vestris :

…I’ll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

aeruh :

I can try very hard not to

malus-syl-vestris :

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing

aeruh :

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

malus-syl-vestris :

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

silverjirachi :

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

mortimermcmirestinks :

god fucking dammit gimme a minute

mortimermcmirestinks :

Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.

AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.

MALUS                         Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?

AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.

MALUS ‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.

AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?

MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.

AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.

MALUS                       Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types I’ve eaten too. I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.

AERUH                     And it has spice?

MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.

AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pine’s required.

MALUS Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand, but caution tells that this is what’s to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.

AERUH I’ll eat them all.

MALUS                   I prithee, stay thyself.

AERUH Roulette with leaves.

MALUS                     At least restrain from yew.

AERUH I’ll do my best.

MALUS                That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.

AERUH                          With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.

MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my life’s own path.

Exeunt.

Enter MACDUFF.

MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.

mobylace :

It’s like this

vestron :

walks out of a closet covered in blood with a goofy lovestruck smile on my face

not100bees :

walks out of a room covered in lipstick kisses with a thousand yard stare

actual-haise :