i love hotels. when i walk through hotel hallways with their quiet walls and flat carpets and the smell of the chlorine from the pool i transcend space and time and find peace.
"Something has happened to the man that you work with, hasn't it? I've been feeling it for the last couple of days. He's become ill or something."
Scully Looks For Comfort | Deleted Scene from Season 3 Episode 1 The Blessing Way
insp.: @julieandrws' post || I have only recently treated myself to the blu ray box set and have yet to explore the depths of the bonus features :D
Ray of LightFor the first time since being back, he felt the heaviness weighing him down start to fade away. The fog had lifted and he could see the life he’d actually come back to — one where the love of his life was carrying his child. Not a life that had gone on without him, but one that desperately needed him there.Alternatively; Mulder and Scully’s first time after he’s returned.angst and pregnancy smut | discussions of trauma | msr | 7k | ao3 | dedicated to the wonderful @sclly
Before Mulder had been abducted, he was finally in a relationship with Scully, or at least that’s what he thought of it as. They didn’t use the words dating or boyfriend and girlfriend, but they spent every night together, they were intimate in every possible sense of the word, and he’d never felt more loved in his entire life.
When he returned, she was pregnant, had a new partner at work, and on his first night back she drove back to her apartment and left him alone.
Looking back, he knew she was respecting the fact he said he needed time to process everything, but she had no idea how much it added to his confusion. He was uncertain of where he stood with Scully, so he buried himself in his work since it’s where he felt most secure, despite her protests. Mulder knew people thought he was being rude, hell even he did at times, but every time he looked into Scully’s eyes, he saw nothing but worry and sympathy.
Yesterday he’d broken into the census bureau with Agent Doggett, only for it to be a bust. They’d been laying low at Scully’s apartment ever since, and the awkward tension between them just kept mounting. He tried to think of what to say, only to end up feeling like anything he said would come across as curt, and he wanted to avoid saying something else that might hurt her. The last thing he ever wanted was him coming back from the dead just to continue making her sad.
The first thing he noticed about his apartment was that it didn’t look like the apartment of a man who’d been missing for months. It was spotless. Cleaner than he’d ever seen it. It made his heart ache thinking of the Scully who was so firm in her convictions he’d come back that she had clearly spent a lot of time making the apartment look great for his return. It made him feel even worse thinking of what response she’d imagined he’d have upon seeing it, only to be met with pure apathy.
As soon as he realized the molly was dead it just felt like a cosmic kick while he was already down. It might’ve just been one fish that could easily be replaced for $2, but that particular fish was part of a pair Scully had given him early in their partnership when she wasn’t sure what he’d like as a gift. She’d been shy and sweet when she presented the black and white duo swimming together in a bag. “These were the only two left and I didn’t want to split them up.” He’d put them in the tank and, while the black one blended in with the others he had, the white one always swam around and reminded him of her. Now he couldn’t even have that.
Despite the lack of communication happening right now, and how much work had been put into making him feel like his space was ready for him to come back, he still found himself staying at her apartment most nights. That first night he spent alone in his place was filled with dream after dream getting tortured — saws going into his chest, his skin being pulled from his body, the pain he could still feel resonating in his bones like a phantom limb. He’d wake up every few hours to the sounds of his own screams resonating off the empty apartment walls. There was always a pause where he waited for her to roll over or for the sounds of her footsteps to rush down the hallway, but it never came. The only thing that brought him comfort was that the bed smelled like her.