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anarcho-skamunist :

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

lesbenny :

hmmmnnngh

oi fuck off youre not coming in

hungwy :

download murder upload killing. human life is worth a shilling. usb is in your spine. and so your soul is now online.

charlesoberonn :

argentinaboo :

Would u still date me if my name was table of contents Be honest

hgsn :

stamp for when you need someone to go in the dark

death2america :

istandonsnowpiles :

Good Dad

ghoul-wizard :

I’m the guy who goes around giving small change to low level monsters

coolfrogdad :

Fun fact!

In EverQuest, players could reverse pickpocket items onto mobs, including money, which also had it’s own carry weight. High level players discovered that if they went back to a starting zones and gave weak enemies a small fortune to hold, any low level player that looted the money off their corpses would immediately become overencumbered and unable to move.

lesmiserablol :

my dad is the funniest person in the world to make small talk with. we passed a taco bell and he was like “what’s your favorite thing to get there” and i said “the crunchwrap supreme” and he said “tell me about it” and i described it to him and he said “that sounds delicious. what’s your second favorite thing at taco bell”

comment-tube :

fishareglorious :

I love this post so much

ampullae-of-lorenzini :

doggosource :

t4tails :

dadz0ne-deactivated20190608 :

hotsoccergirl1234 :

Probably around 15 times a year ill go into the group chat with my main girls and I’ll go on and on about how I met a guy and they’ll get like super hyped, and usually one will be like “it’s not going to be that picture again is it” and in like “lololol no I wish tho” and I’ll keep it going telling stories about how we met at a screening of Toy Story and that he’s really cute and kind of muscular but not to jacked and they always ask to see a picture of him and I go “hold on let me pull up his Facebook” and in the end I always send a picture of this man, and they’re like “I hate you so much” and don’t talk to me for a while but i will never give up on this joke

hollowtones :

All grandpas on EARTH are friends & All grandpas on EARTH congregate once per YEAR to perform their technique 

full-metal-furies :