@

Guys, you know what's so hot? It's not your lifted truck. It's getting your slow ass out of my way when I'm trying to get to work

Taco Bell's menu items are named like someone pressed the predictive text a couple times and called it good

He's just standing there.... MENACINGLY

mwg-7 :

iamoutofideas :

So it's Jody's fault that all these dependas out here are demanding you salute them because their husband is a Staff Sergeant

futagnarly :

after i fuck a military wife i always thank her for her cervix

vympr :

i fuck a military wife and she thanks me for the honorable discharge

just-shower-thoughts :

Incognito mode is helpful in a lot of situations and not just for porn.

That one guy just standing there flailing his phone around as he keeps trying to scan the QR code

android-spider :

:)

"Green turns to Red, Red turns to Green. You try to shift, you try to drive. Straight on through to the other side!"

-Shitty parody I made

So today I learned that honey can be used to treat minor burns.. what?

"What are you doing, step Professor?"

The highest form of ethics

kaumnyakte :

Got all this for $60. Not bad, I'd say

Forget Fyre Fest, let's talk about Friar Fest

I absolutely love these guys! So stoked to see that they are making a season 2

panneshirley :

I vanish with no traces

I got friends in low places

Megalodon.

cannibalchicken :

fish-celestialbody-adjective :

nemnuong :

explain: why are titties so soft????

titties are near the heart so they are full of love

petersparker :

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.  Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. —10 Things I Hate About You (1999) dir. Gil Junger