#1883edit Tumblr posts

Martin Sensmeier as Sam in ‘1883′

Martin Sensmeier as Sam in ‘1883′

“...In my mind, my mother was a banker, hoarding my freedom like money. I never once thought of her as a woman with desires and dreams and passion, though passion is the thing that made me. I lie awake at night and my dreams for this life burn inside me as if I'd walked to the campfire and tried to eat it. I watched my mother and I felt foolish for thinking the notion of eating fire was mine alone. It was hers first. Then she gave it to me. I watched her ride           and I didn't see my mother. I saw a woman.                and the woman was magnificent.”

Martin Sensmeier as Sam in ‘1883′

Martin Sensmeier as Sam in ‘1883′

Elsa Dutton - 1883

❝ Then, we can pick a spot together. ❞

1883 | season one episode one               ❝ pilot ❞

I wish I could freeze this moment. I would live in it forever... swimming in the possible while the mud of the real is stuck to the shore. We weren't poor. We weren't desperate. The road west is filled with failures... but failure isn't what drove him. It was a dream. And the dream is coming true...

There is a moment where your dreams and your memories merge together and form a perfect world. That is Heaven. And each Heaven is unique. It is the world of you. The land is filled with all you hold dear and the sky is your imagination. My Heaven is filled with good horses and open plains and wild cattle and a man who loves me. It is always sunrise in my world... And there are no storms. I am the only lighting. I know death now. I've seen it. It had no fangs. It smiled at me. And it was beautiful.

I wondered what became of them. Wondered if they staked their claim in Wyoming and built sod houses, bought cattle and tried to scratch a life from this place. Or perhaps they fought the winter and braved their way to Oregon, laying stakes in the emerald fields of the Willamette Valley. But I'd seen too much of this world... knew too much about the nature of man to think either would be their future. Another future awaited them, and it lay in the abyss of unmarked graves along the Oregon Trail.

I felt no pain. Perhaps it was the fever of the fight, but it didn't hurt. I thought of pushing it through, but thought better of it. As my father would say, the one good thing about problems is they'll still be problems later. Don't have to deal with them right away.

I felt their eyes move over me. Felt their pity and disapproval... And it meant nothing to me. The only thing that mattered was riding away, just as I was riding away from him. As I pondered the new journey before me, making it back to him. They watched the tears run my cheeks and I let them. I didn't turn my face or wipe them away. Tears we can't control, sobs and weeps are little surrenders, and I will surrender nothing to the pain. Tears may flow, but I will not weep. I am the wife of a warrior now. Which is to say, I am a warrior. And warriors don't cry.

Martin Sensmeier as Sam - 1883