Burnt Paper
I wrote a yamahiyo fic about yamace
“I was in love once,” Yamato said.
His head was in Hiyori’s lap, too large for it, but she’d put a couple pillows beneath her knees and Yamato didn’t seem to mind. He lay on his side, facing away from her, as Hiyori - Komurasaki - slowly combed her fingers through the tangles in his hair.
“I think,” Yamato added.
“If you think you were, then you were,” Hiyori said.
Yamato let out a huff of laughter, his breath warm on Hiyori’s legs. “Is it that simple?”
“Yes,” Hiyori said. “Love isn’t a finite resource, Yamato-sama. A human does not run out of love to give. If you felt deeply for this person, enough to draw that word from your well, then you loved them.”
“I suppose,” he said. “You’re more poetic than me, Komurasaki.”
“As if that’s difficult?” Hiyori teased him gently.
Yamato reached up and caught Hiyori’s hand, holding it near his temple. “He’s gone now,” Yamato said, quietly. “Dead.”
Hiyori said nothing, but Yamato didn’t seem to expect condolences. He continued after only a brief pause to collect his thoughts.
“We only knew each other for a day. He told me he’d come back, that we would see each other again. And… I believed him.” Yamato turned his head just enough that Hiyori could see his dry eyes and wry smile. “Foolish, wasn’t I?”
“No,” she said.
“Yes I was. Everyone who had ever truly cared about me was punished by my father. Most of them were killed. Why did I believe that this one would escape that fate just because it wasn’t my father to bring it about?”
Hiyori tugged her hand free and placed it over Yamato’s eyes. “You are melancholy tonight, Yamato-sama. I think it’s time to rest.”
“Don’t want to hear about it?” Yamato muttered.
Of course she didn’t. Everyone in Wano had lost someone, but not everyone had the opportunity to share their grief with another. Hiyori had one man, now, but his grief was so great that he couldn’t bear it even with her help. So she stayed strong, and she didn’t cry except when she couldn't stop.
“It’s not that,” she said. “I don’t know how to help, Yamato.”
“Have you ever been in love? Really, I mean.”
“Yes,” she said. If he was any other client, now was the time she would “confess” her feelings for him, but with Yamato… “Twice. Once was a young man who worked under Boss Kyoshiro. When I refused to run away with him, he called me quite an unkind name that wasn’t even technically true yet, and I slapped him until I split his lip.”
Yamato chuckled.
“The other was one of my sisters at the pleasure hall, a couple years later. She had weak lungs, but her family was too poor to leave the countryside, so she got a job that would keep her in the city.”
She could feel Yamato waiting for the end of the story.
“It wasn’t enough. We spread her ashes in the courtyard last fall.”
There was a few seconds of silence, and then Yamato said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I am sorry for yours.”
Her hand was still on his eyes, waiting for him to move it. But he didn’t, he lay there, both of them silent for several minutes. Finally, just as Hiyori began to think she would have to tell him her foot was asleep, Yamato spoke up again.
“I’m glad that my father is paying you.”
Hiyori felt her body stiffen.
“He thinks of you as a bribe, you know. Something to make me want to stay in this country. Follow his plan for me. He won’t kill you for caring about me, because it’s the job he’s given you.”
“I see,” Hiyori said. “And is the bribe working?”
Yamato almost laughed, though he couldn’t seem to work up the energy. “No. Does that offend you?”
“A little,” Hiyori admitted.
“Well it’s your fault. You’re so charming, of course I want to protect the land you live in. I can’t do that by being what my father wants me to be.” He clenched a fist and raised it into the hair. “I can do it by being Kozuki Oden!”
Hiyori let out a long sigh. She hadn’t bothered to hide her disdain for Yamato’s… peculiar interest, but apparently begrudging toleration was still the best reaction he’d gotten.
“And,” Yamato said, a smile in his voice. “I’m glad my father is paying you, because that means I got to meet you.”
Hiyori took her hand away so she could look him in the eye, and said, “As am I.”