she's my favorite ^_^
she's my favorite ^_^
from a recent walk
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Characters: Virgil, Logan
Summary: Virgil has a presentation on his research. It’s streamed online.
Notes: Time travel AU, sort of stalkerish behavior, (not really because he is never attempting to acquire the information to get to Virgil and doesn’t pry into private things, but still watch it if it’s a trigger)
This is set during the story Folds in Paper
Virgil’s phone buzzed once as he was signing into his university account. He glanced at the notification briefly. ‘You’ll do fine.-L’
Virgil puffed out a breath. It was too late to respond to that, so he just turned his phone on silent as he pulled up his presentation. He didn’t want to be distracted by any other notifications while he was speaking.
The presentation slides loaded just fine, and the smallest amount of his worry faded away. Having his entire presentation suddenly self-destruct on some server somewhere before he could download it here had been the last major possible embarrassment his anxious mind had made up last night instead of sleeping. At least, the last major possible embarrassment that could happen before the presentation started.
He flipped through the slides a couple of times. Someone had already made sure everything was working, but it didn’t hurt to double check. He tripled checked with the person running the online stream of the presentation that they could see and hear him as well as see the slides change. She told him she could see and hear everything perfectly.
Today, Virgil was presenting on his latest published paper on the evolution of computers when the internet started to become mainstream. It should be no big deal. He was just presenting to students and colleagues about a topic he knew incredibly well. However, he was currently waiting on the last bit of approval for his summer trip that he was taking to build on the research he was talking about today, and the people who had the final say were currently in the audience…
So, mega anxiety time.
He’d barely even slept the night before making sure he had everything and there were no mistakes.
He was fully prepared to go with about 45 seconds to spare, but he felt like time was slowing down as his heartbeat sped up. He swallowed nervously and took a sip of his coffee. He grabbed his phone from where he’d laid it aside and glanced at the message from Lo again. With 30 seconds left, he sent a quick thumbs up back. Then, he put his phone down again.
He’d basically blacked out from a mix of anxiety and his teaching persona taking over at that point. Sure, he remember everything that had happened, but he had no idea at this point if he did well or not. He’d basically been on autopilot the whole time. He just knew he’d talked for 50 minutes and then left 10 minutes for questions, but none of it felt quite real. Then, he blinked, and it was over.
Well… not quite over. He still had to go to the little social thing with cookies the department always put on after big talks and pretend to be a normal functioning professional who totally did get more than 30 minutes of sleep last night. Yep… mhmmm. Tell me more about your new home security device, Todd, I’m very interested.
Finally, he managed to escape the hell that was social interactions on no sleep while coming down from an adrenaline high. He practically collapsed into his office chair. Now, he just had to get his stuff and take a quick 5-minute trip home by shuttle.
He grabbed his bag from where he’d left it that morning and went to slip his phone into it only to realize there was a notification he hadn’t noticed since he’d muted the phone for the presentation and then had been bombarded with people talking to him afterwards. It was another email from Lo.
‘You did well on your presentation.-L,’ it said.
Virgil frowned and typed out a message back. ‘How would you know? You weren’t there.-AM’
There was another email as he was locking his office door. ‘I watched the livestream of it.-L’ Another message came directly after that. ‘I hope that isn’t considered ‘creepy’ behavior. It was a public talk and you’d mentioned it, so I assumed it would be okay to attend. Apologies if I overstepped.’
‘It’s fine.-AM’ Virgil typed back.
‘So, you really think it went well? I don’t even remember it if I’m being honest.-AM’
‘You did very well. Your work is very interesting, and you present it well despite your claims of being ‘too anxious to function.’-L’
Virgil felt his cheeks heat up a bit and distracted himself by swiping his card for the shuttle. ‘Thanks,’ he wrote once he was standing in the shuttle. ‘And thanks for watching it.-AM’
‘I enjoy hearing about your work. I’d like to hear more whenever you have the time.-L’ Before Virgil could respond to that, there was another message in his inbox. ‘Not today though. You did not sleep last night.’
‘Okay. Some other time.-AM’ Virgil wrote back. He couldn’t keep the smile of his face the whole ride home.
Dropped 10-12 lbs (im not sure what my starting weight was :P) these past few weeks 😍😍😍 my arms and stomach are so much smaller
Not small enough tho
Erasing Wor(l)ds 2022 Performance, analog photography
How it feels when someone tries to erase you from the surface of the Earth like a stain from carpet
Double exposed film photographs consist of images of my body and the maps of the places in Ukraine that have been destroyed by the Russian military weapon. To destroy Ukrainians as if they never existed, to wipe out Ukrainian cities seems the main intention of the Russian Federation. The last two months Ukrainians feel like an unwanted stain on the world map in the eyes of the Russians, who came with blood, death and destruction to bring order in the lives of Ukrainians. During the performance, I am trying to express visually how it feels when someone tries to erase you from the surface of the Earth like a stain from carpet. I use stain bleach for carpet washing, aiming to erase the names of the Ukrainian cities which manifest the idea of Ukraine as a sovereign state, from the photographs. The performance happened during the Captured House collective exhibition at the Alte Muenze in Berlin, Germany
Ambrose filming me, filming them
Los Angeles, CA
I’m tired of feeling like I’m ducking crazy
I ruined everything again
What if I’m never sick enough
I’d rather just die
I hate myself smth
I always try and get to no where again
I don’t wanna eat anything again
I wanna cut all the fat off
Realizing the guy I had a crush on only looked at me cus of my boobs kills me
Avenue Thiers II
i just ate a sandwich and i feel like the most horrible human being now…
i feel like a fat pig and cow and the ugliest human ever
i wish my mind could stop
i wish i could just cut all the fat off……
im so hungry still
iris, backyard. pentax me super, provia 50, tripod, no filter.
Sarah - Chinon2020
Minox 35 GT / Kodak Gold 400