Am I the only one with a fully furnished apartment in my head, where the plot of every fanfiction I read takes place
Am I the only one with a fully furnished apartment in my head, where the plot of every fanfiction I read takes place
Y'ALL SHOULD DO THIS QUIZ !!!
Lost Soul (lii) ☯︎︎ (ATEEZ)
PAIRING: Yunho x Ji Ah
WORD COUNT: 1.4k
GENRE: fantasy+pirate au; romance; mystery; adventure; action; angst; gore; mythology
<- 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 // 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 \\ 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 ->
You muttered his name as you stumbled away a little. Your vision became hazy as it began to turn red. Your heart rate increased as your hands tightened into fist. “I’m glad to see you’re okay,” He added as he began to step over to you. Your eyes widen as you step backwards, away from him so you won’t do anything irrational.
The captain furrowed his brows at your behaviour as he suddenly stopped in his tracks. “Ji Ah…?” He said again as his eye looked at you with pain and sadness. You shook your head as you quickly ran down the quarter deck to be with everyone else.
Mingi watched you leave before he turned to look back at Yunho and Yeosang. “Did something else happen when we were out? She seems different,” He sighed as he walked next to Hongjoong. “Don’t think too much about it...just...she’s upset we can’t go to Hydrthis anymore,” Yunho lied as he glanced over at Yeosang who was nodding his head.
“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Yeosang spoke up to Hongjoong. He furrowed his brow before crossing his arms. “What now?” He replied as he looked at him with a blank gaze. “Have you ever met a deity before?” He asked as both Yeosang and Yunho became wary of his answer, he could tell the truth or he may lie.
“A deity?” He asked to make sure he heard correctly. They both nodded their heads as they were anticipating his answer. “In my lifetime...yes, but it wasn’t a happy ending,” He shrugged as he looked away at the sea. “I wonder what happened to that Goddess…” He thought out loud as he let out a sad sigh as he looked back at the two younger ones.
“Why do you ask me? Did something really happen when we were out?” He continued to ask as he became worried about the situation. Yeosang shook his head before he quickly grabbed Yunho’s wrist. “I just need to talk to him,” He faked a smile before turning around and dashing to his cabin.
Hongjoong tilted his head as he turned to look at Mingi. “Did I do something…?” He asked with a saddened face. The quartermaster quickly wrapped an arm around the captain’s shoulder. “Must be with what happened, Ji Ah must be upset after losing the old ship and us all nearly dying. Plus, wouldn’t it be the best to celebrate that we’re alive,” He tried to lighten the mood as he dragged the older male with him.
Hongjoong only nodded his head so the blue haired male would stop pestering as he was too deep in thought at the moment. They walked down the quarter deck’s stairs as they walked along the main deck, talking and laughing with the rest of the crew.
The two were carefully walking across the deck as they held onto each other closely until something caught the tall males attention. “Captain!” Mingi yelled as he pulled Hongjoong’s sleeve as he was in panic. “Ye-Yeah? What’s going on?” He replied as he turned to look at the taller male that looked scared. He turned his focus upward as he pointed where he was looking. “Look!” He yelled as the shorter male, quickly averting his attention where Mingi’s finger was currently pointed at.
“What the fuck is that…?” He mumbled as he squinted his eye to get a better look, until terror filled his gaze.“OH FUCK! NO, NO, NO!” He screamed as he grabbed Mingi by the hand and sluggishly pulled him across the almost empty main deck. “We have to much fucking rum, we can’t lose it to that bastard!” Mingi sobbed as he hugged the bottles against him. “MATE!” He continued to scream.
The lookout swung along the loose ropes towards them as he let out some sort of battle screech. “AHHHHHH, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” He screamed as he tackled Mingi to the ground as the bottles of rum rolled across the deck. “Holy fucking shit!” Hongjoong yelled as he stumbled to grab them before Wooyoung could.
“HONGJOONG!” Wooyoung yelled as he got off the tall male and stumbled around to the captain. “Stay back you...you alcoholic!” He said as he dashed away toward his cabin. “CAPTAIN!” Wooyoung screeched once more as he chased after him.
You watched from a distance on the forecastle deck at them as you crossed your arms. “Does this usually happen?” You asked the boy you were standing next to. He chuckled as he sat down on the stairs. “Too often,” He replied as he turned around to look up at you with his doe eyes. “Why don’t you have some?” He asked.
You furrowed your brows as you sat down next to him. “I’m not the type to drink, Jongho,” You smiled as you placed your arms around your legs. Jongho shook his head as he took a sip from his cup, letting out a small sigh as the taste covered his taste buds, running down his throat in haste.
“Can I ask you a question?” You asked out of the blue as you looked at the moon shining over the ship and sea, as some stars flickered like an S.O.S signal. “What is it?” He pondered as he took another sip from his cup. “If you met a God or Goddess, how would you feel or do?” You asked. He looked over at you with a surprised look before letting out a breathy laugh.
“If I met a God or Goddess?” He reasked the question, which you nodded to. “I think I’ll ask for clarity and freedom for all of us as pirates, guidance to righteousness but still sail the seas at the same time,” He smiled like an idiot as he took another sip from his cup. “What about you, what if you met an entity from above?” He returned the same question, staring with the world in his eyes at you.
“Oh…” You gasped since you weren't expecting him to ask you. You look down at your feet as you ponder over the thought, thinking the question over and over again. “I’d just be happy that I’m not alone,” You said without holding back anything, just staring at the moon shining in the sky as the clouds danced around.
He raised a brow at the weird response but he brushed it off as he wrapped his arm around you. “You're not alone, you got us!” He smiled as he gave you a tight side hug. A corner of your lip curved up at his remark as you nodded your head. “Thanks, Jongho, ” You said as you looked back over at the men tackling one another just to get the alcoholic beverage.
Thinking of more questions as you wanted to ask the youngest how he felt about the rumours over the heaven entities, you turned to ask but he was laying down with his cup still in hand. You snickered at him since he's a light drinker. “Goodnight, ” You whispered as you stood up and went down to your cabin.
Closing the door and barricading it behind you, you walked over to your sword and picked it up as you looked at it. “De heilige chaperonne,” You said as you summoned him. His figure disorderly came into view as it was pulsing and moving side to side. “Master?” He voiced as he began to form an eligible figure. “I managed to get my memories back…” You began as you tried to figure out the right words to say.
“But a few of my abilities...I can't seem to activate them, ” You sighed as you set him back down on the ground as you looked at him. He furrowed his brows. “You can’t? It’s a possibility that your body forgot how to use them,” He spoke as he crossed his arms as he stared at you.
You quietly sat there for a while in thought. My body forgot how to use them? You pondered as you knitted your brows together. “Are you talking about when I asked to forget about me being what I am?” You questioned him as you crouched down in front of him. “I can rely on that,” He responded as he smiled. You on the other hand let out a deep sigh. “I’m guessing I’m going to have to practise on it again like when I was little,” You spoke out loud, more specifically to yourself as you got back up to leave. “Great…” You sarcastically said while rolling your eyes as you heard your sword laughing behind you as you left out of your room.
<- 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 // 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 \\ 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 ->
Here's the request for San!
Here's the request for Hongjoong!
inspired by the dinky dirty nyc subways. don’t ask me how it came to this.
wc: 1.8k ~ hongjoong x gender neutral!reader ~ subway!au, meet cute?? I guess ~ triggers: none ~ ateez masterlist
~ You see a flame. Hongjoong sees an angel.
[ fluorescent lights ] On the subway train dark and stale with exhaustion and night, it’s the orange that catches your eye under fluorescent lights, a tuft of flame peeking out beneath a dark beanie of coal and ash floating onto the train, a fire dying in the night.
Well… no. Not dying. You tilt your head, eyes narrowing as they follow the embers glowing sharp on the quiet train – flickering, perhaps, dimming slightly, but not dying. Not yet. Not for a long time. In fact, even as the man drags himself toward one of the train car poles and leans his head against the fingers wrapped around the metal, he almost seems to glow, to burn, to blaze with a flame that the stale, white lights of the car could never compare to. Something in his demeanor, something in his stance, something in the way he closes his eyes with a sigh that seems to ripple through the air, quiet grace and power burning with soft orange flame…
Not dying. Not even close.
You don’t realize when the strokes begin to bloom on the paper, dark, bold lines mixing with softer shades to create an illusion of this man and his flaming hair. Art is an imitation, you know, never the same as the scene before one’s eyes, but when the subject of your art is something beyond the plane of existence on which you walk, what does reality even mean? The subway car stays, the man’s forehead resting against the metal pole in the center, but the background begins to fade as you blur the lines with a finger smudged with gray. Light fills the train windows, graffiti that appears in flashes on the tunnel walls finding a permanent place on your page in sharp lines of charcoal gray. Fluorescent lights become embers crackling in the air. Throughout it all, the man stays, eyes closed, lashes fluttering, the black mask on his face doing nothing to disguise the glow he seems to emit through your drawing of the train car, a beacon of light in the darkness of night.
Too soon, you look up and realize that your stop is next. Your pencil flies across the paper, shading in the single painted nail on a finger wrapped around the pole, adding a last touch of flame to the hair curling across his forehead. The mask becomes more defined. His necklace gains a touch of shine. Small silver studs and hoops take their place along his ears, surrounding the white earbuds whose wires spill into nothing at the bottom of the page, attached to a phone in his hand that no one can see.
The train slows. You put away your pencil, carefully tear the page from your sketchbook. As the station lights come into view, you rise from your seat and tap the man’s shoulder once, twice.
His eyes open. And in that moment, you know you were right.
The fire was never dying, not here, not now. Even in this hour of night, embers glow in his eyes, power pulsing in a soul that was made for the stars.
You smile, holding out your sketch. “I drew this,” you say, letting him take the page. “I thought you might appreciate it.”
And with that, you turn around and walk off the train, leaving behind a fire burning soft in the night underneath a sky of fluorescent lights.
. . . . .
When the subway doors close, there is only one thought in Hongjoong’s mind as he looks up from the penciled sketch in his hand out of the grimy train car windows to see your back disappear into the station halls.
An angel walked off the train and left a piece of their presence behind.
And it’s a cheesy thought, maybe even a stupid one – Hongjoong can already feel that little part of him cringing, hear Yeosang’s little bite of snark and Seonghwa’s gentle teasing in the back of his mind, but he looks down at the drawing and then back up once more and even as the train heads into a tunnel and the windows cloak themselves in darkness, all Hongjoong can see is the picture of you smiling that small smile, extending a hand like some sort of deity handing down a blessed artifact, an artifact that turned out to be a picture of him that made him look beautiful. Alive.
Alive, even in a moment when he truly felt dead inside.
He walks off the train with fingers itching to grab pencil and paper and when he finally reaches home, it’s all he can do to shrug off his backpack and mask before snatching up one of the sketchbooks lying around the room. Pencils, one after another in all different colors find their way into his hand and then he sits down right where he is and begins to draw.
Sparkling eyes, a face that seemed to glow even under dull fluorescent lights that could suck the energy even out of the sun. A gentle smile, lips that curve with a sweetness that could draw awe out of the sourest person on earth. Subtle fire, cool golden tongues of ivory flame that look innocent, that look harmless, but when touched will burn with a fine-drawn heat that sears and scorches soft, gentle to the bone –
Hongjoong wouldn’t mind it, even if your golden touch burned him.
You come to life on the page, strokes of color spilling across the paper until Hongjoong is satisfied with your glow, with your smile, with the way the subtle power in your body seemed to light up the entire subway car – how did he not notice you before? You shone more brightly than the stars – but even then there’s something missing, he thinks as the clock strikes three. You drew him a background, bold graffiti tongued with flame, power in the night, but Hongjoong knows you are something different. No less powerful, but more of a glow, less of a storm, life to death, light to dark…
He decides on a sunrise.
Early morning light has begun to filter through Hongjoong’s windows by the time he finishes the golden background tinged with pink and orange and palest blue, palest gray, a hint of the night you chased away. Your eyes smile up at him from the page, an angel descended to bless him with something the paper does not know but that lives in Hongjoong’s heart, in his mind, the delicate sketch laid carefully on the table by his side.
He blinks once, twice, and reality rushes back – the heaviness under his eyes, the jaw aching with yawns, the pencil he should put down before he accidentally drops it and it rolls back under his couch and he throws a miniature fit because he just found the motivation and effort to drag it out a couple of days ago, he doesn’t need to do that again – and something in him feels stupid, then, because you were just a person who happened to be in his subway car who happened to sketch him in a moment that wasn’t meant to be shared but that he’s glad was –
And he looks back at the sketch on the table, soft graphite spanning the page, and he doesn’t feel quite so stupid anymore. Because an artist draws what they see, and when you handed him that sketch, Hongjoong saw an angel.
You don’t appear on the train that night. Hongjoong can’t hide his disappointment, at least not at first, but maybe you’re on another car or maybe you just aren’t here at all. He doesn’t know your schedule. He doesn’t even know your name. All he can do is hope he’ll one day catch up to you to give you the drawing you inspired, and if he just takes this train every night, maybe it’ll happen soon.
Hongjoong’s heart skips a beat when he steps onto the train at night and sees you standing across the car, one hand wrapped around the metal pole, the other holding a phone that you stare at intently, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You look tired in the slump of your shoulders, the grim set of your jaw, but even then, Hongjoong has to stop for a moment because your glow, your power, even under the fluorescent bulbs that suck the life out of even the brightest lights…
He walks up and taps your shoulder. “Excuse me.”
You turn, blink once, twice. Eyes narrow first in confusion, then widen in surprise and recognition – thank god for that, maybe you won’t think he’s too much of a creep – and then a hand reaches out automatically to take the drawing from his fingers stained with color. You look down.
Hongjoong holds his breath.
Your mouth opens.
Not a sound comes out.
The smile on Hongjoong’s face isn’t so much a smile as it is a reckless display of relief. “I drew this,” he says, a trembling echo of the words you spoke a week ago on this very train. “I thought you might appreciate it.”
You shut your mouth and open it again, looking down at the whirlwind drawing in your hands. When you look up, your eyes shine just the way Hongjoong imagined they would, sparkling with a light far beyond the dull fluorescence shining above. “Thank you,” you breathe. “I do. I appreciate it very much.”
Warmth begins to climb up Hongjoong’s face and he ducks his head, trying to hide the pink undoubtedly brushing his cheeks. “Well, I appreciated what you drew for me last time,” he says, peeking up. “More than you can imagine.”
The laugh that bursts free from your lips sounds like bells, chimes, something otherworldly from above – an angel, truly, golden aura filling the train car with warm light. “With this, I’m sure I can imagine more than you think.” You hold up the page, gripping it carefully between your fingers. “Thank you, truly.”
“Of course.” Hongjoong bows slightly. “I…”
He swallows. Don’t chicken out now, he scolds himself, but it’s hard not to when faced with such grace in a stale, empty train car. “I was wondering…” Hongjoong swallows again. “May I know your name?”
The sparkle in your eyes seems to grow brighter, if possible. “Only if I may know yours.”
“Hongjoong,” he offers. “I’m Hongjoong.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Hongjoong.” You put out a hand, and when Hongjoong takes it, it feels like the light of a thousand tendrils of flame wrapping around his fingers, soft, warm, pulsing with power beyond the stars.
You smile. The fluorescent lights seem to glow brighter.
“My name is Y/N.”
If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3
(1 reblog = 1 prayer for me to get a meet cute as cute as this because god DO I WANT IT)
✧*:.｡ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs
▻ Pairing : Choi San x Fem!Reader
▻ Genre : Angst
「Warnings」 : Swearing! Lmk if anything else
「Authors Note」 : Not proof read! And I'm also not a big fan of this one but eh. I apologize in advance for that and whatver ur gonna feel after <3 Part Two will be posted Friday (27 May) 10pm SAST time
✧*:.｡. Part One // Part Two
๛ ©𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 //
*please do not steal, copy, or plagiarize in any way, or on any platform !!!
*please note that this does not depict who and how idols/groups are irl. It's a figment of my imagination and just that !!!
It hurt so bad.
Your heart clenched in your chest as you smiled sincerely despite the lie that was obvious in your eyes.
"I'm going now" He said as he grabbed his car keys and slipped on his shoes.
You slowly walked up to him as he did with his jacket in hand. "San"
"Mhm?" He hummed, looking up at your with a tight smile and dimples flashing. "Be safe, kay"
"Yeah, yeah. See you later" With a kiss to your cheek he was gone, leaving you behind to mutter those four words to no one but yourself.
Once again you were left alone in the silence you've long grown distant with, and yet again here you were. It was another adjustment, from being content with your quiet and lonely life, to finding San and his best friends that turned that life into one filled with joy and laughter and company, only to return to a life lonelier than you've ever known.
The first time was nothing compared to now, this time it hurt more because you had the chance to taste a life of smiles and warmth. To return to being alone in the cold apartment now felt worse, it felt suffocating. Every corner you turned reminded you of the moments you now fear you were losing. It was evident, atleast to you, not that there was any one but you.
The worst part of all this, every moment shared, every kiss stolen, it was all confined to a secret between you and him. And it was exhilarating at first you couldn't deny that, but now it was only draining the life out of you. It was becoming too much to keep to yourself.
How many days have you seen him walk away from you.
How many days already has it been since you've just felt him be there for you.
You weren't asking for alot nor were you nagging him for anything but a few simple words and seconds of his time. Couldn't he at least take a moment to wish you a Goodmorning. To have a chance to sit and have a decent conversation with him.
At this point, you didn't care if he spoke to you as a lover, a boyfriend, or even as a friend. You just desperately wanted─ rather needed him to do something, anything.
But he didn't. Why couldn't he? Why didn't he?
It was safe to say that San never got home that night, not that you expected him to. You were hopeful though, that just maybe he'd come home to you─ but it was a long stretch and he didn't, not even for you.
So you sighed in defeat and retired to your room.
Before, you'd never have complained about the extra amount of space, about the silence or time to yourself- but God it was awful now. The sheets had the lingering smell of his cologne while his bed side table was decorated with evidence of his existence. Even his shoes that were neatly lined up against one side of the room or his bags, his towel that he used when he showered hung over the chair to dry, and it was all proof he was real and just not there.
So you sat in bed with your back perched up against the headboard, knees pulled to your chest with the covers tucked into your sides. A book laid beside you, one you discarded far to quickly after only reading a page or two─ your phone has never been so boring in all your life, not even the music you took comfort in was able to bring you out of your depressed mood. You could care less for relating to the lyrics, for hearing the words sang that was obviously true. What did it matter? All it would do was make you burst into tears because you were forced to hear reality. So without a sound, you sat in that position until the day grew near and you had eventually fallen asleep sitting up, head rested on your crossed arms that laid atop of your knees.
When you awoke your butt was stiff and prickling with pins and needles. Even your legs felt partially numb and you didn't know whether the three hours you slept was a good thing or not. But atleast the night was over, not that the day would be any different from yesterday.
With a glum feeling and dull expression, all you could do was go about the day. And it was okay- you did the usual things you did every other day to keep busy, but it was sudden and shocking when you were interrupted by the ringing of the door bell.
You knew it wasn't San, he had no reason to knock if he had his keys. That pretty much ruled off any body else. You didn't know anyone else as you didn't necessarily have friends you saw that often or that would rock up unannounced. With your family not particularly interested in your life assuming you were fine and well there was little chance it could be them. So with curiosity, you trudged towards the door and unlocked it, keeping the latch attached.
"Wooyoung, Yunho?" You say, more so questioninly with slightly widened eyes and parted lips as you peaked through the opening.
"Not expecting us were you" Wooyoung giggled as you quickly unhooked the latch and opened the door completely for them. But before any further conversation was made, both boys paused as they looked at you.
"Y/n?" Wooyoung muttered only for the boy beside him to continue, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah? Why do you ask?" You raised a brow with a cheeky smile, and it was convincing, almost too convincing even for yourself.
"Oh" Wooyoungs mouth rounded subtly. "Nothing then, I guess"
"You sure? Cause you look a bit tired" Yunho admitted whilst rubbing his neck sheepishly.
"I feel it─ I had struggle sleeping last night" You said in response, not giving too much information only enough for them to believe and move past it. However little do you know that Yunho and Wooyoung only dismiss it upon sensing your dread to be asked further.
"So is there a reason I'm blessed with your company right now? San isn't here if you're looking for him" You inform them as you walked into the living room, them following behind you with a small hop in their step.
"Oh- well that's surprising" Wooyoung expressed with furrowed brows as he collapsed onto the couch. "Not that we're here for San, but we did expect him to be home though"
"Anyways, Wooyoung and I decided to stop by because we haven't seen you in a while and we thought why not" Yunho chimed in as he sprawled across the couch opposing Wooyoung's.
"Actually I wanted to come over so we could cook together, try out a new recipe that I saw while scrolling on YouTube. Yunho Hyung just tagged along because he heard food"
"It's food" The taller boy grinned having no shame for his intentions whatsoever and you chuckled, mood suddenly lifted upon their arrival.
You felt good- you felt okay. Like his absent presence wasn't bothering you as much.
"Well then, it's nearing lunch time so I don't see why not. But we'll have to go grocery shopping, San and I haven't stocked up the fridge since last week"
"What have you been eating then?" Asked Yunho with genuine curiosity "Other than Sans dick" Wooyoung added with a smirk that made you choke.
"What?" He exclaimed with that mischievous look in his eyes you know all too well. Yunho on the other hand stifled his laughter silently applauding his friends honest humor.
You shake your hand unable to hold your smile, even when it hit a nerve. When's the last time you and San shared anything but a kiss to the cheek: not even a hug.
"If you must know-" You paused to glare at both boys who were biting their lips sheepishly. "Takeout and ramen ... But I ate the last of our ramen two days ago"
"Then it's perfect. You can have your first filling homemade meal in a week with us!" Exclaimed the raven head with excitement and Yunho nodded eagerly just as happy with that as his friend was. And you couldn't help but share in their infectious lively energy, a smile staining your lips until your cheeks hurt.
Unbeknownst to Wooyoung and Yunho, they had no idea just how grateful you were to them for that day. They offered you the company you've been deprived of for a while now. Sharing their happiness like a virus. It wasn't taken for granted and you cherished every second of that day as if it was your last.
─ 𑁍 ─
Two days have passed and San had yet to return home. You were starting to worry to the point you got anxiety and couldn't stay still for more than a minute. Those two days consisted of you pacing back and forth from time to time, blasting music into your ears, or trying to keep yourself buried deep in your work.
You were never this anxious before in your relationship. You were never this insecure or overbearing, but maybe it was the fact you had sensed something going on under your nose. Something was happening to or with San. He'd change dramatically within the year and it scared you because you knew him too well and this wasn't like him.
It was hurting because it was only you. Behind closed curtains, behind shut doors, hidden from the world, it was him and you.
Forget the promises you made, forget the love you shared because you just wanted to know─ to know what was happening because it was tearing you apart from the inside. Two days turned to five and five turned to a full week. No calls no messages, nothing. He was just gone, but it was the fact he wasn't actually.
The one time you decided to call Wooyoung out of worry for his best friend and his whereabouts, only to have the said boy say San was with them. He then continued to ask if something was wrong since you didn't know and you denied him an answer only saying you were fine. But before you ended the call, with a heavy heart you asked Wooyoung if it had only been today that they've seen San, he laughed it off saying no and that he'd been popping in his usual amount of times and they were slowly growing sick of his presence in a joking manner.
This upset you because why─ why was it only you.
Wooyoung then threw in the question asking how come you didn't know and why you sounded so worried to which you avoided by laughing it off and telling him to be safe and keep well. The call ended and so did your hopes.
You waited. For eight long dreadful days you waited and on the ninth, you broke. It was becoming too much to bear, the days you went out you just wished to come home to your bed. The days Wooyoung and Yunho came over─ you longed to be left alone.
Then on the twelfth day of his absence, he showed up.
He opened the front door and strolled in, kicking his shoes off and dropping his keys into the basket. You heard him, but you didn't know what to do.
"Sannie?" You whispered under your breath as you came face to face with the boy who was your secret lover.
He raised a brow not missing the dead look on your face with bags under your eyes that grew darker due to your lack of sleep.
"You're still up?" He asked not knowing he was the reason behind your late nights and early mornings. He didn't seem to realize there was something wrong- and if he did, he acted as if he didnt. As if he wasn't gone for days on end.
"Can't sleep" You admit because there was no use denying it when it was evident on your face. "Did you eat?"
"Oh─ I'll go reheat the left overs of todays food" You mumble, still the ever loving girlfriend and care taker.
San followed behind you into the kitchen and sat at the islander taking out his phone and distracting himself while you opened the fridge and pulled out the container of rice Wooyoung had made earlier. You then turned on the stove and placed the pot of food on to heat up again.
"You cooked today?" His voice breaks your intent staring at the marbled counter top and you turned around slightly to face him with a tired expression on your face as you shook your head and grabbed a plate. "Wooyoung did"
Why was he acting like nothing was wrong?
San didn't say anything further as he began eating his food with his eyes still staring deeply at his screen, your presence forgotten.
"I'm going to my parents for this week" You suddenly brought up, placing the plate of food in front of him. "We're supposed to have a school reunion─ so I told my mum I'll come home this week instead of next"
"They still don't know about your relationship with me" He stated, looking up at you and you purse your lips as you nod. "Yeah, no one knows"
No one but you and him, Wooyoung and Yunho.
It was like that small hum in response was a trigger and you suddenly couldn't take it anymore. The silence and his lack of talk about the obvious situation you just wanted to deal with and get past.
"San" His name felt familiar on your tongue yet it hurt to say.
There it was again. A short emotionless response. He didn't want to talk more than necessary with you and you had no clue why.
"What's going on with you?" You ask the question plaguing your mind with fear and hesitancy.
"Mmh?" He locks his phone, "What do you mean?"
"Did I do something?"
"I dont know- did you?" He leaned in with furrowed brows.
"San!" Your voice raised a little but he stayed still and neutral. "Just─ answer me please"
"I can't because I don't know what you're talking about, Y/n"
With a sigh you repeated your question, "I asked if I did something"
"Did what exactly?"
Your jaw slacks and your eyes betray your composure. "Are you okay then"
"Should I not be?"
"..." The words get lost in your throat as you look him right in the eye not caring if he saw you slowly break as you did. Your eyes glossed but the years didn't shed because you didn't let them, your throat ached and your hands began to sweat.
"Why are you doing this?" You asked in defeat.
"Doing what! exactly?" He exclaimed as his lips pressed into a straight line.
"Why won't you just answer me, San. Why won't you just give me an answer that's not a question in retort. I ask if you're okay and you ask me am I not supposed to be"
"I asked you if I did something to have you leave for almost two weeks with no call or message to assure me you're fine. Just up and gone, and you ask me did I do something?"
"Just please─ please tell me!"
"I can't answer you if I don't know specifically what the fuck you're asking me" His voice boomed over the deadly silence startling you as he shot up from his seat with a blank look stretched across his face. Food half finished and soon-to-be forgotten as he lost his appetite. "-And why does it even matter where I went and for how long I'm gone!" He shouted in anger. "I may be your boyfriend but you don't have to cling to my existence like a desperate girlfriend, Y/n!"
"I don't have to tell you shit if I don't want to" He growled, grabbing his phone and turning to walk away but you stop him by grabbing his hand and tugging in it. Even if his words stung like a knife stabbing into your heart, this conversation wasn't done. You had to know what was happening or else you'd be suffocated.
"I'm not asking you to do any of that, San!" You retort with a crack in your voice.
"THEN JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME"
"Like you left me?"
Sans blood boiled as he roughly pulled his hand out of yours and attempted to walk away, ready to leave again, but you couldn't just let him walk away, not again. Not while he still had your heart.
"It was only a week Y/n, don't be so dramatic"
You push past him to stand face to face. "Maybe I am-" You weren't. What you were, was a naturally sensitive and doubtful person. Second guessing yourself was your nature. Believing insults and any negative speech was your toxic quality.
Been manipulated and used was not something you could pick up nor realize if it was happening to yourself, you were too much of a coward that even the sense of saying no or denying didn't exist for you.
"You were gone"
"And?" He asked with boredom, as if seeing you like this didn't effect him in the slightest.
"I love you... I've loved you since I can remember"
"What does that have to do with you being so damn dependent on me" Yet again, his rough and sharp tone made you flinch. Your hands shaking anxiously.
"I've been with you for almost all of your life San and I've seen almost every part of you─ me loving you has everything to do with this!"
"Like what? You feeling you have a right to control me? Being together doesn't mean you can unload all your shitty frustrations on me"
There he went taking everything out of proportion. Was he so blind to the actual problem. To the actual reason why you were even standing up to him despite feeling as though you wanted to drown yourself, despite just wanting to just get past all this so you could hold him.
"You're neglecting me"
San scoffed pushing past you again, "And that proves how self-centered you are"
A bullet to the heart followed by repetitive stabs of a knife. He had already embedded the object into your heart and was now turning and twisting it, bringing you agnony and pain.
"That's not what I meant!" You argued back knowing that if he wasn't being such a self centered fool right now he'd know that.
San took a sharp intake of air before pursing his lips, fire still raging in his eyes as he silently glared you down.
"Y/n. Let's just leave this" He was moreso telling you as immediately after he finished his sentence, his boots were thudding against the floor as he walked towards the front door.
"Where are you going now, San" You yell with a sense of disbelief.
"Doesn't concern you"
"Oh my fucking God get your head out of your ass"
Frustration was boiling within you until you couldn't hold it in anymore; like a volcano that had finally erupted. Your outburst stopped San dead in his tracks as he froze.
"Why can't you understand that I still care about you?"
"I'm so fucking in love with you, still"
"Even though there's things I want! Things I wish! I've always pushed my life aside for this relationship over and over again. I've tried so hard to mold my life into yours just so that we could make it work because you said you wanted this just as much as I wanted it"
"Well you were the fool to make such a decision..."
"How can you say that" You chocked.
"You threw away your life"
"I didn't throw away my life. I made room for you in it, asshole"
"I didn't ask that and I didn't fucking expect it so just. fucking. stop─" He screamed turning on his heels as if he had a right to be angry. "Just stop Y/n, just let it go"
"I can't- we can't San. Because despite the world not knowing about our relationship we know"
"Behind closed doors there's still an us. There's still a you and me. I am yours San just as you're mine─ you can't expect me to forget this happened because I don't even know what's really happening, why we're even arguing"
San stood rooted in place with his arms hanging numb at his sides even as you approached him with such a heartbroken look on your face, one he's never seen before. You looked so hopeless, so ruined, so lost. The exhaustion you felt was obvious on your outer appearance as well as within. You felt void of energy and warmth as you tried so hard to understand why.
Why he was making you suffer so much.
"I miss you" You confess pouring every bit of emotion into your words. "Is it wrong to miss you?"
He stays silent.
"Is it wrong to want to hold you? To want to kiss you? To want to be with you? It's hard enough trying to keep this all a secret"
"That shouldn't 't matter. No one has to know what we share or what we do. Whether we hold each other in the street or kiss on the dance floor, why does it matter if our relationship is a secret or not? In my opinion it means you're not in this relationship for me─ for us"
"Then you're being delusional" You hissed and San rolled his eyes with a sarcastic smile. "Then why is being in a secret relationship with me such a drain on you"
"Just how fucked up is your mind right now San" You screamed, tired of him always turning this conversation against you.
If anything, you were the one that never doubted him nor his love. Because make no mistake you loved him. You adored him. You treasured him. You wouldn't be here trying to figure out why your love wasn't been returned, why your bed was empty or why he left you alone in this house without so much as an assurance he was okay.
"And you're avoiding the actual question" You sighed, followed by a sarcastic laugh as tears filled your hopeless eyes. "Why- I don't the fuck know. But you're doing it at every cost─ which means you do have a reason and it's not a nice one"
There you went reading him perfectly. San wasn't shocked and he didn't react either he just turned away and finally opened the door.
"I'll see you later"
And he was gone leaving you starinh at the place he previously stood. Not a bone in your body wanted to move. "He walked away" You mumbled and with it realization set in. He left you alone─ something you grew afraid of being because of him. "He fucking walked away"
"He left me" Your knees buckled and stepped back until you leaned agasint the wall before sliding down, arms wrapping around your waist. "Why did you leave me"
"Don't leave me alone, San"
Your heart clenched and ached, he was coming back─ he always did, eventually. You knew that. But you wanted him now.
You wished you let the subject go when he told you to, because then maybe he'd be here with you now. Only the reality of it was, that he wasn't. San had walked out the door for a reason you didn't know because he wouldn't tell you. You just wanted to understand why he made you feel so worthless and invisible when you gave him everything.
I want you back
I want you back
"I want you back"
Your mournful cries echo through out the empty apartment. You wanted your San back. The one who loved you, who never left you alone, who appreciated the love you gave him. Simple as that─ only that─ just that.
"Come back to me San"
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🗯 INTERRUPTED THOUGHTS | 6teen.
please read proper warnings before proceeding. you are responsible for the content you consume.
18+ content - minors dni; it is dangerous for both you and me. … synopsis: you never expected for one of the cheeriest members to think of you in such humiliating and perverted ways. … pairings: perv!yunho x fem!reader … genre: acquaintances to friends to lovers(?), fluff, angst, crack/humor, suggestive, eventual smut … wc: 2426 … warnings: eating implications, let me know if i missed anything!!! <3
“leave a few minutes after me, okay? it’ll look less suspicious if there's time in between,” yunho says, holding your face in his hands as he smiles, leaning in closer to kiss your temple once again. “and if you’d like, we can continue this sometime, hm?”
he pulls away with a smile, picking up his old clothing from the floor - as well as wrapping the belt around his torso - before grabbing your hand to pull you forward, cheesily kissing your knuckles and exiting the room, leaving you stunned and alone.
your stomach turns as you think about the event that had just occurred; his hands roaming over your skin as he holds you against him, gentle gasps being exchanged as you see more of each other.
you find yourself staying in the room longer than you feel you needed to - which to an extent would help your current situation - as you grab the door handle, pulling open and heading back to backstage.
“this should fix it, i think?” you hear minwoo say as you enter backstage, realizing just how close the room was to everything else. embarrassment fills you as you make eye contact with yeosang, his arms raised as minwoo adjusts his shirt.
his expression is puzzled, confused and somewhat shocked as to why you had just exited the same room he greeted yunho coming out of just a few minutes ago. he hadn’t seen you enter during that span of time, mingi being sure to keep him still.
he chooses to brush it off as he watches you sit on the bench, minwoo pulling away to see how his shirt looked. “chae normally handles clothes, but i think i did a pretty good job,” minwoo smiles. “you’re good to go, yeosang.”
“thank you again,” he thanks, grabbing his mic and glancing behind him one last time at your sitting figure before running to meet the rest of the group.
yeosang created a groupchat: ???
yeosang added: hongjoong, seonghwa, san, wooyoung
[11:17 pm] yeosang: help [11:17 pm] yeosang: i saw something odd [11:17 pm] yeosang: and idk what to do about it tbh [11:18 pm] seonghwa: quit being vague🙄 [11:18 pm] seonghwa: what did you see [11:18 pm] yeosang: okay so [11:18 pm] hongjoong: whats going on? [11:18 pm] seonghwa: yeo has something to share [11:18 pm] yeosang: i had to get my shirt fixed before i went out on stage right ㅤ↱ replying to: seonghwa - yeo has something to share [11:18 pm] hongjoong: ohh gotcha [11:19 pm] san: uh huh ㅤ↱ replying to: yeosang - i had to get my shirt fixed before i went out on stage right [11:19 pm] wooyoung: muscles busted the seams [11:19 pm] hongjoong: LMFAOO [11:19 pm] yeosang: i was still in backstage when yunho finally came out of the storage ㅤ↱ replying to: wooyoung - muscles busted the seams [11:19 pm] yeosang: you know it😩 [11:19 pm] yeosang: but yunho left the room and i didnt see anyone else go in there [11:19 pm] yeosang: then i watched y/n walk out of the same room [11:19 pm] hongjoong: … [11:19 pm] san: is there a chance that she walked in there while you werent looking? [11:20 pm] seonghwa: ^^ [11:20 pm] yeosang: minwoo had me standing still [11:20 pm] yeosang: i was facing the hallway the whole time, she never walked in [11:20 pm] hongjoong: hm [11:20 pm] wooyoung: maybe she walked in there after yunho left? ㅤ↱ replying to: yeosang - but yunho left the room and i didnt see anyone else go in there [11:20 pm] san: @ wooyoung bestie. READ [11:20 pm] hongjoong: no fighting pls [11:20 pm] wooyoung: san started it🙄 [11:21 pm] yeosang: GUYS. [11:21 pm] yeosang: idk what to do [11:21 pm] yeosang: its none of my business [11:21 pm] yeosang: but its still odd y’know? [11:21 pm] hongjoong: seonghwa and i had talked about this earlier [11:21 pm] hongjoong: not sure if something is going on between them, but they should stop [11:21 pm] hongjoong: it wont do any good for either of their careers [11:21 pm] wooyoung: i feel like we shouldnt get involved that much [11:22 pm] wooyoung: they both deserve to have a personal life outside of work [11:22 pm] yeosang: true but still [11:22 pm] yeosang: its dangerous for yunho in the public eye and y/n’s job as a makeup artist [11:22 pm] san: i agree, but if they sneak around, i guess they’ll both be safe? [11:22 pm] hongjoong: even then, i wouldn’t want them to sneak around *us* [11:22 pm] hongjoong: whatever is going on, lets handle it back home. no sense in stressing about it on our last day away [11:22 pm] hongjoong: especially when were about to all be together in a few minutes [11:22 pm] yeosang: oh shit [11:22 pm] yeosang: i forgot lol [11:23 pm] san: where is it again? ㅤ↱ replying to: san - where is it again? [11:23 pm] wooyoung: seonghwa and yunho’s room [11:23 pm] san: got it [11:23 pm] hongjoong: hwa [11:23 pm] seonghwa: ? [11:23 pm] hongjoong: are you two almost ready? [11:23 pm] seonghwa: yeah [11:23 pm] seonghwa: just waiting for food to arrive [11:23 pm] wooyoung: oooo what did you guys order?? [11:24 pm] yeosang: ^^ [11:24 pm] san: ^^^ [11:24 pm] seonghwa: idk, yunho just ordered some stuff from a local restaurant that delivers [11:24 pm] seonghwa: minwoo, chaebyul, sohee, and y/n will be joining us as well [11:24 pm] yeosang: it’ll be like the first time we all hung out at the beginning of the tour [11:24 pm] hongjoong: wooyoung dont even think about suggesting human bumper cars again please [11:24 pm] wooyoung: no promises!!
“seonghwa,” the mentioned man looks up from his phone, yunho standing before him in the hotels doorway, dragging his bags back into the room. “the food just got delivered, y/n and i are gonna run down to get it-”
“how about y/n and sohee get it, it’ll look less suspicious if its them for not only the relationships and stuff, but also that they aren't idols, y’know?” seonghwa suggests. “atiny and news outlets know were staying at a hotel in the area.”
“i’ll have to make sure that they’re both comfortable with that first,” yunho says, his smile faltering slightly as he exits the room, presumably to enter y/n’s and sohee’s room once again. seonghwa gulps, tossing his phone onto the bed he sat on as he lays back, arms sprawled out to his sides as his legs bend at the knees over the edge of the mattress.
he turns his head to the side, trying to find anything in the room that could give away the switch they had to pull - nothing standing out. seonghwa wanted to stop overthinking his every move; his brain now hyper-aware that hongjoong will be observing how yunho acts with y/n, thinking that he won’t be an exception to the same treatment, even if hongjoong doesn’t know who with.
“they’re heading down to the lobby right now,” yunho says, making his entrance known to the other man as he shuts the door behind him, joining seonghwa on the bed and sighing. “i hope i ordered enough.”
“i’m sure it’ll all be fine,” seonghwa says, his voice coming out slightly strained as he laid across the bed, his eyes closing as his chest tenses, remembering that soon the room with be filled with his groupmates and the two girls he and yunho admired.
he was thankful you and sohee seemed to understand the underlying meaning behind why the rooms needed to be switched, which he appreciated, but the worry of hongjoong catching on still remained in his mind. a knock sounded throughout the hotel room, yunho quickly jumping up to answer as seonghwa continued to ponder.
“you guys are a little early,” yunho comments, seeing jongho and mingi on the other side of the door, trying to hide his disappointment that it wasn’t you and sohee there instead.
“we brought some food from the convenience store around the corner,” jongho says, lifting the bags he held in each hand.
“i ordered food just a bit ago, y/n and sohee are out grabbing it now,” yunho replies as he opens the door wider, allowing the two men to enter the room.
“for once i didnt have to act like the only adult here?” the youngest replies, his stance and playful glare indicating sarcasm, while his tone said something else and causing a shiver to run down yunho’s spine as seonghwa sits up. “should’ve said that before, i wouldn't have spent money on you guys.”
“okay - one: rude, two: thank you for your generosity,” seonghwa says, standing onto his feet as he takes the bags from jongho’s hands, setting them on the table as he begins to unpack them. “do we even know what hongjoong wants to do?”
“what? i can’t just wanna celebrate the end of the tour with my band mates?” hongjoong’s voice, sounds through the room, wooyoung following behind him as they push open the cracked door, kicking it closed once they enter fully.
seonghwa tenses in his presence, watching as he not-so-subtly eyes down yunho’s oblivious form, too enamored with what he was currently typing on his phone.
[11:32 pm] yunho: did you two make it down safely? [11:33 pm] y/n: yes!! were in the elevator heading up right now :D [11:33 pm] y/n: has everyone else showed up yet? [11:33 pm] yunho: just waiting on yeo, minwoo, chaebyul,,, [11:33 pm] yunho: then san and you two [11:34 pm] y/n: okay!! we’ll be there soon :) [11:34 pm] yunho: :D
yunho’s soft smile didn’t get overlooked by hongjoong, the shorter man’s lips forming a thin line as yunho shoves his phone into his pocket, prompting him to look away. wooyoung shot a glance yunho’s way; if what yeosang said was true about you leaving the same room as yunho, he’d have a few choice words to share with the older.
a knock on the door breaks wooyoung’s thoughts, shifting on his feet to answer it - noticing how yunho seemed just as eager, as if he knew exactly who was on the other side.
wooyoung had concluded that yunho did know who was arriving once he saw your smiling face next to sohee, hands holding several bags of take-away as you smiled brightly at him. “hi, woo!” you say, him quickly returning the smile as he moves to the side to allow you both inside.
you quickly notice yunho’s standing form, his front facing the entrance as you walk closer, intending to place the bags in the table to accompany the others placed there. yunho watched as you walked closer, offering his hand silently to take a bag from your hand - you obliged.
his silence towards you was unnerving; thankful for the conversations that were filling the air as yunho smiled.
“is everything alright?” you whisper as if you had to keep your interactions with yunho a secret from the rest of the members - which you knew to be untrue. yunho seemed shocked at your timid behavior, taking his eyes away from his hands that were unraveling the bags on the table and turning to your concerned ones.
“why would something be wrong?” he inquires, brows knitting together as a small pout forms on his lips. he wasn’t being completely truthful to himself and he knew that, trying to keep his feelings hidden as he now knew of hongjoong monitoring him and seonghwa.
the other part of his mind was occupied with earlier events; remembering how he had you pressed up against the door of a random room at the concert venue, how pretty you looked begging for him - the memory made him nervous.
he wasn’t experienced, and he never claimed to be; a part of him feared that you were putting on a show, that your pleasure was fake so as to not embarrass him. he tried his best to push the thoughts to the back of his running brain, but they continued to surface each time he saw you.
“you didn’t spark up a conversation like you normally would,” you answer, deciding it's better not to push him to talk if something was on his mind. “just wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay.”
yunho hoped you couldn’t hear how his heart beat raced faster at your words, your form standing next to his as you begin removing the take-away and placing it on the table, san and wooyoung excitedly began to open each package as mingi brings out plates and cutlery.
despite his best efforts to slow time to savor every moment he had with you, yunho found himself glancing your way as the clock ticked, wooyoung’s knowing stare not bothering him the slightest when he caught him looking your way.
“do we have paper towels?” hongjoong asks, putting his half-empty plate on the floor next to him in favor of getting sauce off of his shirt.
“there should be regular towels in the bathroom, yunho and i haven’t used any of them so they’re all clean,” seonghwa answers, hongjoong nodding before standing on his feet, arms stretching above him as he makes the short commute to the bathroom within the hotel room.
spotting the small basket of hand towels on the counter, the chatter slowly dulls as he wets the soft material under the faucet. dabbing on the already-forming stain, he tries to remove it the best he can, ultimately leaving a wet patch on his clothing.
hongjoong remains persistent, and against his - and his mothers - better judgment, begins to rub at the food print. he lets out a sigh as his lips purse into a thin like. examining his shirt in the mirror, he comes to the realization he’s done all he can, and should leave the rest of the work to the washing machine they have back at the dorms.
hanging the now damp towel on the rack that decorated the wall, he fixes his hair, smoothing over his shirt as his eyes trail down to the small glass that contained different toothbrushes inside. thinking nothing of it at first, hongjoong continued to situate his appearance, only to look back at the jar and notice a toothbrush he didn’t recognize next to one he did.
one toothbrush was the brand that every member had, all looking quite similar but still having notable differences - to the members, you only had to be able to tell which one was your own, not which on the other members had as well.
the toothbrush that accompanied it in the glass was not the same brand - not even the same look as the one the members had - and that seemed to only confirm hongjoong suspicion.
y/n stayed in the room with yunho often enough to have to bring her toothbrush over.
hongjoong blood boiled, thinking about how all of this has been happening right under his nose. how long have they kept this secret? was the story of yunho pretending to avoid you just a cover-up for them sneaking around? how long have you two been sneaking around? were they sneaking around seonghwa in his own room?
“you okay?” seonghwa’s voice seemed to ring inside hongjoong skull, aligning themselves with his thoughts and pushing them from his brain.
“i’m fine,” hongjoong answers, his voice firm as seonghwa’s concerned expression falls to one of pure fear. “yunho is in some major trouble, though,” hongjoong finishes, eyeing the container with the toothbrushes before he leaves the bathroom, passing seonghwa as the oldest’s eyes widen in realization.
sohee’s toothbrush was still in the room with his, and hongjoong thought it was yours and yunho’s instead.
guilt formed in seonghwa’s chest, knowing how hongjoong can be when he scolded the members, but he remained silent - allowing hongjoong to believe he wasn’t involved, allowing hongjoong’s anger to fog his reasoning.
seonghwa and sohee stayed in this room. that was seonghwa and sohee’s toothbrush, and seonghwa allowed hongjoong to walk away, not wanting to take the fall himself.
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I love everything you write! I would love to send a request pls, I'm a '98 stan so I am of age. Can I please request a situation here the reader is a virgin/inexperienced & has her 'first time' with Hongjoong? Please make it fluffy, loving & smutty. I feel Hongjoong would be so nurting plus...we all know he has a corruption kink hah!
genre : smut , fluff
warnings : sexual content
pairing : virgin!reader x boyfriend!hongjoong
a/n : this didn’t turn out as well as I wanted and it’s a bit rushed ! @whatudowhennooneseesyou
you put a lot of that into it and decided you were ready to have your first time with hongjoong, contemplating how to bring it up to him had you nerve-wracked so you decided fuck it and just went for it you got up from the couch and headed to you and joongs shared bedroom and straddled his thighs.
he looks up at you loving while resting his hands on your thighs "hey lovely" he said in a soft tone you nervously play with the tips of your fingers and he takes notice of this.
"Are you alright? you seem a bit off? he quirks an eyebrow up. "I'm ready" you flat out say nervously "ready for what," he asked confused.
"I'm ready to have sex," you said shyly. his eyes widened a bit at your response. "baby are you sure? don't feel like you have to rush into this" he said worriedly "I've put a lot of thought into it and I'm sure I'm ready". "if your positive I'm more than happy to baby" he says with a smirk.
he lays you down gently on the bed and starts softly kissing you starting to kiss and suck at your neck you feel your body heat rising at the simple action.
"can I undress you baby?" he asks in a husky but hushed tone "yes," you say with a hint of eagerness.
as he peels your shirt off your breasts come into and just the sight let alone made him hard. he soft grabs your breast and starts softly sucking on your left bud and giving attention to the other while thumbing it.
"fuck baby you're so beautiful like this," he says in a breathless voice. you let a slight moan fall from your lips from the overwhelming feeling
he starts kissing down your belly and leaving a soft trail of kisses while working his way down, he stops at the band of your panties looking up at you. "can I?' he asks. you hum in approval. spading your thighs apart he sees the damp spot of your arousal and kisses over your clothed core. he slowly pulls down your panties and sets them aside.
" can I touch you love?" . "yes please" you respond. he smirks at the desperation in your voice. and starts playing with your folds spreading your wetness. he starts rubbing your clit with his thumb the unknown feeling had you throw your head back and let out soft moans. he soon replaces his thumb with his tongue rolling your clit playfully while sucking lightly in between teasing it.
"you taste so fucking good baby," he says in between sucking. you grip at the bedsheets your moans gradually getting louder " please don't stop joongie" you cry out. " I'm gonna slip a finger in, I need to stretch you out" you nod as he prods at your entrance with the tip of his finger and slowly slides in. once you get used to the feeling he adds another scissoring you open.
finding your sweet spot he softly thrust the tips of his fingers against it. "oh my god" you say while closing your thighs around his hand. "keep them open for me baby". you cry out as you feel your orgasm approaching he takes notice of it "come on, cum for me" he says while moving his fingers more rapidly. you cum with a loud moan thighs shaking around his hand.
coming down from your high trying to catch your breath he leans up sucking your wetness off his fingers he smiles at you the meer action has you clench around nothing "did it feel good princess?", "yes, joongie you reply shyly while trying to avoid eye contact.
“Baby are you sure you want to keep going ?”. he asked “yes I’ve never been more sure” you reply to him with a smile. he begins undressing slowly. his sculpted frame coming into view had you anxiously waiting for more he slides his sweatpants down along with his boxers and his hard length standing up prominently. his size and girth had you widen your eyes and he takes notice of the nervousness of your actions.
“Don’t be scared baby we’ll make it fit” he winks his comment made you fill with embarrassment. he reaches over to the nightstand and pulls open the drawer to grab protection carefully peeling it open. tugging at the end of his cock he slides the condom on and leans closer to you.
rubbing your thighs slowly he opens your legs and lies between them slowly kissing your neck while wrapping your legs around him. “I’m gonna start baby, let me know if anything feels too uncomfortable and I’ll stop right away” you nod in approval as he grabs his shaft rubbing it up and down your folds.
lining up the tip of his cock to your entrance he slowly starts to push in. You make a small hum of discomfort while closing your eyes shut. “I know baby, I promise it will start to feel good soon” he starts rubbing your clit while slowly pushing more of his length Into you to ease the pain a bit and kisses your lips.
finally bottoming out he stills for a bit and waits for your signal for him to start moving.
“you can move now joongie” you reply anticipated. He starts softly thrusting into you rubbing your clit with his thumb. Thrusting upwards he finds your sweet spot and the action has you moaning loudly. “does it feel good princess?” He asks while thrusting and grinding his cock into you. “Fuck joongie please go faster” you whine out.
he starts thrusting into you with more vigor. Grabbing one of your breasts and sucking at the bud. Your whining spurs him on more, “fuck baby I’m close” he says while rubbing your clit faster. “Come with me baby” you bite at his shoulder hiding your face in his neck as you feel your orgasm approaching.
“Fuck joong I'm cumming” you moan out while he thrusts even more rapidly. eyes rolling back and back arching off the bed your orgasm washing over you moans uncontrollable.
coming down from both of your highs he stills in you for a bit, breathless and panting he looks at you making sure you’re okay “how was it? Do you feel okay ?” He asks. “I’m great joongie just really tired “ you reply with a laugh. He kisses you softly and slowly pulls out.
rolling the condom off he throws it in the bin and heads to the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean you off. after cleaning you off he lays down next to you and pulls you Into him.
you look up at him and smile “thank you joong” he looks down at you and smiles “don’t thank me, baby, I’m glad you trusted me enough to finally have your first time with me” smiles. you peck his lips in response.
he pulls the comforter over the both of you while he cuddles you and lies your head on his chest.
“I love you joong”
“I love you more baby” he replies while slowly slipping into a deep sleep.
Huiii!!! :))) I really have so many ideas for u but I’m sure you have so much but this has been sneaking up into my head lately but could you write something about Gamer Yunho !! 🧎🏽♀️ something about that side of him really turns me on. 🤦🏽♀️
a/n: i am so mad right now bc i cannot find a gamer!yunho pic 😭 he should really post some of it, cuz we all know how that would break us all 🙈
Okay imagine this...
Jeong Yunho sitting on the carpeted floor, crossed leg, slightly hunched over while his eyes are completely focused on the large tv screen.
He's wearing an oversized shirt, loosely hanging over his lean figure that had his collar bones showing (don't we all wish to bite that, no?). Jersey shorts that are showing a good amount of his thigh skin.
We all love pain, do we?
Watching him knot his brows, squint his eyes and bite his lips unconsciously is undeniably hot.
So what do you do?
Approach him. Seduce him. Get him all hot and bothered that he won't be able to deny you.
"Yunho, baby." you tried catching his attention to no avail, so you gave it a shot once more, but when he really can't take his eyes off the monitor, you have to go beyond greater lengths.
Thus, you stood up from the sofa, standing right in his peripheral vision.
And what did you do?
"Gosh, it's so hot." you mused, haphazardly removing your t-shirt and throwing it on the floor, that certainly caught Yunho's attention. His eyes widening at your display of skin, pupils roaming to your exposed backside.
"Oh no." you feigned a gasp, "Now it's cold."
You picked up one of Yunho's hoodie that was plainly lying there, making sure to pop your ass out for him to see.
Your boldness to entice him worked, the game forgotten and the controller he's holding is slowly moving out of his grasp.
Looks like he would be busy with something else.
When you wore his large hoodie, you were suddenly trapped between the wall and a body. His presence looming over you, darkened orbs glinting as if to say, "You just made the worst mistake of your life."
"What do you think you're doing?" he whispered, his face inching towards your own.
"Can't you see?" you challenged, "I wanted some relief."
That's it. The tipping point for Yunho's sanity and rationality.
You wanted relief, he'll give it to you in many, unique ways.
First, he'll kiss the heck out of you. Second, he'll lick every nook and cranny of your body. Third, fuck the hell out of you.
For real tho, he'll tell you to approach him straightforwardly if you need anything, even if he's playing.
So onwards, whenever he's in his gamer mode, you make sure to sit in between his thicc thighs. Snuggling into his warm chest and watching him play until you get bored and start your own filthy game.
There would be many instances into this, and some of them would be:
It always amazed you how his character can do all those complicated steps, then you realize that all of those lies on your boyfriend's skillful fingers that are pushing all the buttons.
It'll make you wonder, what kind of things would those fingers do?
To test it out, you tapped his hand and he immediately paused his game.
"What is it baby?"
"Will you please push my buttons too?"
Your doe eyes and begging tone would snap him so fast that he'll quickly remove your clothing. His digits run from your face, to the valley of your breasts, until it reaches your aching core.
No seconds were wasted as he plunges his fingers in without any hesitation. His pace is monstrous, stilling and curling inside your walls to reach the spot that will sent you to heaven.
Oh, and we should mention the way he fondles your boobs. Gentle to rough, tweaking your nipples and pinches it just enough to elicit a jolt out of your nerves.
And of course, choking.
His gorgeous, humongous hands cut the air through your lungs so right that it heightens your excitement and pleasure without actually hurting you.
He truly knows the creativity he can do with his own hands.
He can get angry and frustrated with his games sometimes. Especially when his teammates are idiots or when he's in a losing streak.
You have always wished to help him out, relieve his stress, and get all the negative curses and groans into something positive.
Thus, crawl behind him, massage his shoulders, leave feathery kisses and nibbles all over his neck and he'll be putty in your hands.
The solution you had in mind? Give him a blowjob of course.
"Fucking shit, baby, that feels so good."
The loud moan that he let out was music to your ears, this was what you were waiting for.
You continued to suck him in, your tongue going all over his dick's skin and occasionally licking over the tip like a lollipop. Massaging his balls would also be nice.
The one thing that'll make him cum though? Just make eye contact with him throughout the activity and hum, the vibrations will literally raise goosebumps all over his skin and gosh, it's always much better than the vibrations from his speakers.
Be good to him, and he'll make sure to treat you into something much better.
Your favorite among all games, one where patience is tested.
No, because he is in a competition with his friends. But really, a stupid bet won't hinder your horny asses.
Still, he needs to win this so he won't pay shit.
So to solve the problem, enter and park. (meaning you'll be on top of him with his shaft inside but you have to stay completely still, riding would come at the right time)
His thick and enormous length is stretching you out so well, you have to behave yet you couldn't help the grinding for some friction from time to time.
Okay, Yunho had enough of your bullshit.
He temporarily focused at you, his hand gripping your head a bit so you'll be able to crane your neck and look at him.
"If you can't stay motionless, even for a god damn thirty minutes, I won't do shit about it but,"
You gulped, giddiness coursing through your whole being at his impending instruction.
"Do the work yourself. Stay muted unless you wanted to give my friends an audio show."
He smirked when he saw your expression, such a slut that you're getting all excited over his idea. And he fucking loves it.
"What are you waiting for then? Bounce, baby."
⩨ prompt ゛yunho reaction to the other ateez members checking you out ⩨ warning(s) ゛suggestive content ⩨ pairing ゛afab!reader x yunho ⩨ requested? ゛yes! tysm for your yunho request, it's been a while since i've written for ateez so i'm super excited! ♡
⩨ remember to like + comment + follow + reblog -- the love is always & deeply appreciated
"babe, can you zip this up for me?" you turn your back to yunho who was admiring your figure.
you hit his chest playfully, "cmon, stop staring and zip it up."
you feel his soft fingers reach towards the zipper on your dress, pulling it up.
"how do i look?" you ask him looking at yourself in the mirrors
"beautiful," yunho places a kiss on your forehead, "i should take this outfit off you right now."
you laugh, "ah, stop."
"are you excited to attend the release party for the new album?" he puts his watch on, and you grab your purse nodding to his question.
"yup," the two of you leave the apartment, heading to the venue in a fancy car.
you arrive to the venue, paparazzi surrounding the car, yunho puts his long jacket over you hiding you from the cameras
eventually reaching the doors of the venue you are greeted by staff, you all slighty bow to eachother saying hello
"the party is the second door to the right." one of the staff points to the hall
yunho interlocks his hand with yours, and the two of you make your way to the party door
you walk into the room and the two of you are greeted by more staff, the boys see you both and stand up
"yunho! y/n!" wooyoung says smiling
you wave to them and yunho lets go of your hand, saying hi to his friends.
"wow, you cleaned up well today y/n." wooyoung says giving you a little twirl in your dress
yunho looks at you, slightly bothered but not to obvious.
you laugh, "thank you..." you sit down in the chair, "how've you guys been?" you ask yeosang and wooyoung as they were the two next to you
you continue with the small talk and let yunho do whatever
"y/n looks nice today" san says eyeing you as he spoke with yunho, the other members agreeing
"yeah she cleaned up well, you're one lucky guy aren't you." yunho looks at seonghwa with flame in his eyes
yunho excuses himself from the conversationa and takes a seat besides you.
"oh hi!" you turn around seeing your boyfriend
you see seonghwa and san giggiling
"are you okay babe?" you whisper in yunho's ear
yunho nods, placing his hand on your exposed thigh, "next time wear something less sexy." he mumbles into your ear before leaving a soft kiss on your cheek
© 2022 JUNTHUSIAST
kind of a fluffy ask, but ateez or txt and reader in a flirty x awkward relationship. who's what? lowkey think hongjoong would be the awkward one. also tell me why yeonjun is so cute when he's flustered??
okay, i love this idea so why not both? 🤪
Awkward x Flirty Relationship - ATEEZ & TXT
hongjoong: the reason you think he's the awkward one is because he is. i mean... we've all seen him on jessi's showterview. that shit was EMBARRASSING 😭 he's cute though so you'd let it slide. he hates how easily flustered he is by you, but he also finds your charm insanely sexy. as usual with hongjoong, it's bittersweet. tries to pretend like he's cool and not at all affected by you but baby who are you fooling? no one.
seonghwa: god, i can really see seonghwa being either/both. like on the days he's feeling himself, you've never seen smoothness like that. probably has your head empty all day long because he keeps you on your toes with whispered words and subtle touches that linger on your skin. but on days where he's just kinda... existing he'll be more awkward. like lil awkward smiles and not quite knowing how to handle you being so flirty with him even though he likes it a lot. i think this is a relationship where you each play both parts depending on the day. (and that's fun love that for you)
yunho: BOTH. we've seen how yunho is. he's always bold, but in a shy way? he's so cute sjfsfsfa. wouldn't hesitate to say something that would catch you off guard in the best possible way, but if you matched his energy he just might shy smile into oblivion. i think overall he would be the flirty one, though. he wouldn't let getting flustered stop him from making you swoon. he likes that feeling way too much. if you're flirty with him, he'll push past that shyness to one-up you because you deserve it. if you're awkward, he'll badger you with charm until you no longer feel awkward with him.
yeosang: listen. the duality in this group is really fucking up this list lmao. i can almost say both for all of them. but fr, yeosang is both okay. he starts out as the awkward one because he doesn't want to cross any boundaries with you. he blushes like crazy when you flirt with him and avoids eye contact because he knows his cheeks are bright red. but as he gets more comfortable with you, the roles switch. you know that deadpan humor he's best known for? he's like that when he says some shit that makes you squirm in your seat. would drop a one-liner that leaves your mouth dry and just smile politely and walk away like he didn't do anything. he's a menace.
san: zero people are surprised that he's the flirty one. pretty sure san flirts with anyone and anything that crosses his path. it's just his mode of communication at this point. you're the awkward one because seconds after meeting this handsome mf he's winking at you and holding eye contact with you like you know each other like that when you definitely do not. he relishes in any and every reaction he gets out of you so any blush or nervous shifting of your body will be both noted and adored by him.
mingi: the awkward one. he loooooves the attention you give him, maybe a little too much. he gets so wrapped up in your affection that his brain forgets how to work properly so he's got nothing for you but a big smile that takes up half his face and giggles. he can hype himself up to charm you on occasion too, but it doesn't come as effortlessly as it does for you. unless we're talking about on stage we all know he exudes charm up there if you can call it that
wooyoung: the flirty one. awkward is not in his vocabulary. even if you tried to fluster him, he would outdo you. probably does a lot of nonverbal flirting with you. gazes at you in a way that makes you feel things, holds his lips in the perfect pout that keeps your eyes glued to them. smirks at you when he knows everything is going to plan, as expected. pain in the ass about it but you love it. definitely goes out of his way to fluster you in front of other people so you gotta stay strong 😭
jongho: both, but when he's flirting, it hits different. like with the other guys, it's pretty clear what they're trying to do. but with jongho... he doesn't even think of it as flirting. he's just stating facts. and that makes it worse somehow? like you're over here weak kneed and he's like ?? i just said the truth what about it 😌 definitely gets smiley and quiet when you flirt with him too though, especially if you really go for it. he won't be prepared for something that heavy. give him a minute though and he'll have something for you.
soobin: there is no universe in which soobin is anything but the awkward one. just the hint of a flirty tone will have him on his toes. if you hit him with a direct line, he's looking at you like a deer in headlights, eyes bigger than you've ever seen them. probably doesn't say a word for a minute because he's trying to process what's happening and how to respond at the same time. lowkey loves when you fluster him like that. that feeling is a real high for him and you can tell. he doesn't even have to tell you.
yeonjun: he's the flirty one all day long. even if he isn't feeling his best, he knows how to fake it until he makes it. loves to watch you respond to him even if it's all completely nonverbal. probably likes it even more then because it feels like it "worked" better. he knows if you're so affected by him that you can't formulate a response, he's got you wrapped around his finger right where he wants you. probably doesn't get flustered easily, but on the off-chance you catch him off guard, you're absolutely right that it's the cutest thing ever. he may not feel that way but it is.
beomgyu: the flirty one. i definitely think he gets flustered more easily than yeonjun, but he can cover it up much easier than other people. he can just laugh it off and pretend it doesn't affect him and he'll be pretty successful at this unless you're really good at reading people. it might even annoy you sometimes because you're trying to get a certain response out of him, but he's laughing you off and it makes you want to smack him lmao. but he f l i r t s, okay? always says some shit when you least expect it. like pulls you into him like he needs to whisper something important to you only to look directly into your eyes and tell you that he likes the perfume you're wearing today. keeps staring into your soul for a solid minute before diverting his attention elsewhere to leave you wondering, imagining.
taehyun: the awkward one. he's more subtle about things generally, so if you flirt with him in an obvious way, it makes him nervous. he'll just kinda smile at you and awkward chuckle before changing the subject because he does not know what to do in that situation. he's not even sure if he likes it because he's not necessarily a fan of things he's not good at oops. as he warms up to it and you, though, i can see him getting flirtier. i don't think he'd ever be the in-your-face kind of flirty, but he'll occasionally surprise you with a blunt take that steals the words out of your mouth.
hueningkai: both and neither? he's not particularly flirty nor particularly awkward. he'll engage in light flirting and finds it amusing. he doesn't fluster very easily with you unless you're at the top of your game, and even then, he's not so flustered that he's awkward. has no problem initiating with you either. will not hesitate to toss you a line over text with a winky emoji in the middle of the day for no reason at all. he's just vibing, you know? he's having a good time being with you. it's not so heavy for him.
Lost Soul (li) ☯︎︎ (ATEEZ)
PAIRING: Yunho x Ji Ah
WORD COUNT: 2.6k
GENRE: fantasy+pirate au; romance; mystery; adventure; action; angst; gore; mythology
<- 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 // 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 \\ 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 ->
In the dead of night, the three of you managed to get everything and everyone onto the ship without waking any of them...somehow. Yunho decided to sail the ship away with the help of Yeosang as he helped navigate him across the sea until morning.
You decided to look around the new ship and the rooms, deciding where everything should go now. You plan on discussing that with Wooyoung and Mingi once they wake up. You organised the supplies you had and wrote them down as you put the list in Seonghwa’s new quarter.
“Aadya,” You heard Yunho say as his steps filled the small hallway. You turned around to look at him. “Yes? What’s the matter?” You asked as you watched him get closer, soon towering over you.
He scratched the back of his head before he spoke. “What do you plan on telling everyone once they wake up? They’re bound to be confused as to why we’re on a new ship,” He asked as he let out a nervous chuckle. Your eyes slightly widened at the question as you didn’t think that far. “Oh...then we might have to come up with something for the meantime…” You suggested as you furrowed your brows as you began to come up with a lie to tell the rest of the crew.
“Don’t you think we shouldn’t really tell a lie? Maybe just say that was the wrong island because they’re was a weird phenomenon with the magnetic field that lead Yeosang’s compass the wrong way?” He suggested as he watched you walk away to head back to the main deck as he tailed behind like a lost puppy.
“That could work, but that doesn’t explain the ship,” You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair. “It was a habitable island with people there and they gave us a ship…?” He said as he wasn’t quite sure as his pitch got higher at the end.
You giggled before you opened the cargo door to the main deck as you stepped outside. The cool air rushed over you as the sun glared down at you as the light blue sky painted with white clouds dancing around.
You held your hand over your eyes to shade them away from the scorching sun as you walked up to the quarter deck where Yeosang was currently at. “I guess we’ll try that,” You sighed before you stood next to Yeosang. “Do you have an idea where we should go?” You asked the male who was sitting on the floor looking at the map.
“If we keep heading east, we'll be bound to make it back to your old village where we first met you in about a week or more,” He said as he didn’t look at you as he was too busy drawing and writing a few notes on the map. You knitted your brows together as you squatted next to him, looking over his shoulder.
“Why’d you scratch out that island?” You asked as you pointed at an island that was in the top left corner of the map with black markings scribbled all over it. “Ah...it’s no use to go there, the place got destroyed years ago. Me and Hongjoong hyung crossed out the villages that got destroyed and attacked by the Ayrith guards from Taglya,” The male sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.
You furrowed your brows as you stared at a particular area that was only but sea. You let out a huff before you stood back up. “Is that you…hyung?” You heard someone mutter as they came up the quarter deck stairs as he ruffled his dark brown hair with his hands. “Where are...we?” He asked in a groggily tone.
He glanced around the area as he saw nothing but water surrounding you all. “And who’s ship is this?” He continued to bombard questions. He glanced over at Yeosang then at you as his eyes widened. “Ji Ah noona!? You’re...you’re safe…” He smiled as he felt content. Your brows twitched in a frown before you smiled and nodded your head. “Y...Yeah,” You said to him as you brought him into a hug.
“I’m glad to see you’re doing fine, Jongho…” You said as you rubbed his back. He brought his arms around you quickly as he was happy you’re okay and nothing bad happened to you. “But you didn’t answer my questions…” He muttered before he pushed you away a little. You glanced at Yunho and Yeosang before looking back at the younger male.
“When everyone else wakes up, I promise we’ll tell you what happened,” You reassured him as you brought your hand up to move a few strands out of his face. “Wait...everyone is...safe and alive!?” He asked as his eyes widened again. You nodded your head.
You watched a big, bright smile form on his face as he ran down the quarter deck, quickly going down to the gun deck. “You know he’s going to wake everyone up...right?” Yunho mumbled in your ear. You looked at him before glancing back at the cargo hatch that’s wide open. “I know,” You chuckled before you turned back around to speak with Yeosang.
A couple of hours passed as more and more of the crew woke up as you greeted them all, glad you could save them before anything worse could have happened. You looked around as you saw Jongho come up with a confused Seonghwa. You gasped as you quickly went to them as you stood in front of the men. “J-Ji Ah…?” Seonghwa muttered as he still had that tired look. You smiled.
He brought you into a gentle hug as he rubbed the back of your head as he brushed your hair in a downward motion. You listened as his heart began to pick up in pace. “Thank the gods...it wasn’t some type of dream,” You heard him say as you heard a small sob from him as his chest shook as he did.
You wrapped your arms around him. “It wasn’t...we’re all okay,” You told him. “Even the captain?” He asked you as he said through a few tears. You looked down at the main deck as you kept silent for a minute as you knitted your brows together. You nodded your head before answering. “Yeah...he’s fine, we’re going to go wake the rest of them up,” You told him as you broke away from him and looked him in the eyes.
His eyes were glossy with tears as you felt your heart drop at his expression. You pouted before you grabbed his hand. “C’mon, let’s go wake them up,” You smiled as you watched his demeanour quickly change. He nodded his head as he wiped his face from the salty tears that covered his cheeks before you both headed toward Mingi and his quarters.
You felt your heart quickening now as your breathing grew heavier every step you took closer to the door. “Ji Ah...are you okay?” You heard Seonghwa ask as he tugged your arm. You looked behind you as you didn’t even realise the male stopped walking. You stared at him with your mouth slightly agape as you couldn’t tell him the truth. “I...I…” You began as you let go of him.
“She’s just tired, me and Yunho told her to rest last night, but she didn’t,” Yeosang said as he came up from behind the oldest. Seonghwa whipped his head towards his direction as his lips formed another smile. “Glad to see you,” He said as he threw his arm around the younger man. “And Ji Ah...go get some sleep,” Seonghwa said as he quickly glared at you, sending chills down your spine as you weren’t expecting that quick change of his expression.
You nodded your head as you stepped around them. “Let me go wake up San and Wooyoung first and tell everyone what happened, then I will,” You said as Seonghwa nodded his head as he began to walk to the quartermaster's cabin door. You quickly mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Yeosang as he briefly nodded his head as he turned back to face where he was going.
You ran down the stairs to the gun deck as you turned left to go to Wooyoung’s cabin. You stopped in front of it as you slowly lifted your hand up to knock on the door. You waited a little bit to try and hear anything from his door, the only thing you heard was silence. You opened the door slightly as it quietly creaked open. “Wooyoung…?” You softly called out as you peeked your head in.
You looked over at his bed as you saw his fading purple hair as you watched his body move up and down every time he breathed. You opened the door more so you could get in as you walked over to him. “Yah...oppa,” You whispered as you began to shake his body a little.
His face twitched into a frown as you continually shook him, confusing his state of mind. “You need to wake up,” You added as you grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it lightly. “Ouch!” He groaned as his body shot up as he rubbed the place where you pulled his hair.
He whipped his head in your direction as he had a glare plastered on his face, but as soon as he made eye contact with you, his eyes widened as he soon was overwhelmed with joy. He quickly got off of his bed, stumbling a little, but he quickly made it over to you as he brought you into a tight hug. “Ji Ah! You’re alive!!” He yelled as he managed to lift you off the ground and twirl you around in the air.
“Y-Yeah...you can put me down now..haha,” You nervously said as the sudden action caught you off guard and also you didn’t want to wake up San who was in the next room over...which was too late. The door connecting both of their rooms opened as a groggy face San walked out with his dog, Shiber.
“What the hell is going on?” He groaned as he rubbed his eye as he glared at the both of you. “San-ah!” Wooyoung yelled as he let go of you which caused you to fall on the floor as he ran over to San and embraced him into a hug now. You rolled your eyes before you got up as you massaged your hip.
“Yeah...we’re all alive, luckily,” You said as you walked over to them both. “But this boat...this isn’t ours,” San said, which made Wooyoung let go of him as he looked around. “Yeah...he’s right,” He then looked at you. “What’s going on?” He asked as he furrowed his brows together, waiting for an answer.
“That’s why I woke you up, San was not intentional since someone was being too loud,” You said as you glanced at Wooyoung who had a smug look on his face as he shrugged his shoulders, acting as if he did nothing.
You scoffed before you averted your attention back to San. “But let’s head back up to the main deck where everyone else is so we can tell you what happened,” You said and turned on your heels to leave. “We?” San asked as he emphasised the word. “Yeah...” You laughed. Just as you were about to go, San had stopped you. He pulled you into a tight embrace as he rested his head on your shoulder.
“Ji Ah…don’t ever scare me like that, especially after that argument we had. I love you like my own sister, and I can’t afford to lose you too.” He spoke, sniffling as tears rolled down his face. You rubbed his back. “I know…and I’m so sorry, from the bottom of my heart, San. I care about you endearingly.” You replied before breaking away from him as you wiped his tears away. He smiled at you. “Let’s head up so I can explain everything.”
They nodded their heads as they followed close behind you up the stairs. You made it back out as you looked around for a specific someone. After not seeing him anywhere, you walked onto the main deck with the two males. “You both stay here while I go talk to Yeosang and Yunho,” You told them as you walked away from them before they could answer.
The stairs creaked under your feet as you saw Yeosang speaking with the taller male. “Yunho, Yeosang!” You called out to gain their attention. They turned to face you as they were busy in a conversation before you interrupted. “What’s the matter? Is everyone up?” Yunho asked as he turned his body to fully face you as he placed his hands in his pockets.
“Everything’s fine and everyone is awake...did you get the captain and Mingi?” You asked Yeosang as he quickly nodded his head. “Alright,” You began as you took a deep breath. “Then let’s tell them and get everything back in order quickly,” You told them.
They nodded their heads as you all made your way to the railing on the quarters deck so you could speak to them. Yeosang brought out his bell as he began to ring it so he could get everyone's attention so you could speak. Eventually, everyone turned to you all to listen.
You looked at them all as you felt like a stranger, as if they couldn’t recognise you anymore. You looked around as you saw Seonghwa speaking with San as the sight calmed you a little. You felt someone grab your hand as they used their thumb to massage the top of it. “Take your time,” You heard Yunho whisper in your ear.
You slowly nodded your head as you closed your eyes to control your heavy and fast breathing. You listened to the sea surrounding you as the waves crashing against each other and the ship calmed you down eventually.
You looked back at them as you told them the lie you three came up with, the phenomenon that messed up the magnetic pull of Yeosang’s compass which made you all end up on a wrong island and then getting lended a ship from the locals that were kind enough to do so.
“But me and some of the others saw that it was the island of Hydra!” San called out as he stared you into your eyes. “It wasn’t, it seemed to be some type of trick that the locals played on us...they used some magic spell of the sorts that gave us the impactful illusion of it,” Yeosang spoke up as he glanced over at you.
You nodded your head before continuing. “And if it weren’t for them, then everyone here on this ship would be dead,” You said. They were taken aback by it as they whispered and spoke to one another quietly about it. “But we’re all safe and that should be the main thing that we should be worrying about. Let’s not have that incident mess up our duties and lifestyle and move forward from it,” You said to them as they all nodded their heads and yelled in joy and agreement.
You smiled at them before backing away from the railing as they went back to managing their stations and also getting used to the new and much larger watercraft.
You were busy talking with the two men as you didn’t notice the other two that came up behind you. “Ji Ah…” You heard someone speak, you turned around to answer them but quickly stopped yourself as you felt a change in your emotions.
<- 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 // 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 \\ 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 ->
Please be 18 and over as this book as mature scenes!!!
Something short and fluffy!!!!
murphy’s law; (m) 3/4
wc/pairing; 20K, multi/reader
genre; a/f/s, soulmate!au, alien!au, e2f2l
summary; according to murphy’s law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Black holes circle each other until they collide and merge, a cataclysm so fierce, sends ripples soaring through the fabric, crossing thousands of kilometers within a fraction of a second, leaving behind a wave on the space-time continuum. That’s the simplest way you can describe meeting him. And yet, even that is an understatement.
note: please read the warnings! There are a lot of sensitive topics mentioned, even if it is just in passing. warnings under cut
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content; character death mentions, alcohol/alcoholism, childhood trauma, war mentions, blood, injuries, smut: humping, fingering, soft sex, unprotected sex, no aftercare (they fall asleep), manipulation, weapons, eating mentions, sacrifice mentions.
You could physically feel your heart crumbling. Your heart beat hurt against your ribcage, the dryness of your throat as you struggled to hold back your feelings. You learned how to control your emotions when you were young; why is it so hard to do now?
His expression drops when your eyes meet his, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. He closes his eyes, swallowing softly and taking a small breath. As if he's struggling too. His body shakes, fingers gripping the dresser with as much strength as he could muster. You hear the wood crack as his chest rises and falls, breathing picking up speed.
"Control your emotions," His words are quick, jaw clenched. "I can feel what you feel."
"Then feel it, Yeosang. Feel how you hurt me, so much," your lips tremble.
"You have no right to call me by my name. Not after what you've been doing," you interrupt, moving closer to your window. You glance out, hoping there’s no one standing there. Listening to your conversation. "I don't want to talk to you about this anymore. Leave."
"Pushing me away? Again? I should have known, since this is your specialty. But before I do leave, we aren't telling anyone about this," he says. "We're keeping this to ourselves. Until we figure out what to do. Don't say a word about this to anyone. There's a lot happening around this manor daily, it would only stress them out more. We will just have to pretend that we've had an argument so that we don't have to explain the shift between us."
"No need to pretend, Yeosang. We've had the argument, and I don't particularly like you right now. If there was a way to stop it, I would've severed our connection without hesitation," You're not sure if you mean your words, but he seems to take them seriously.
He audibly swallows, a faint smile on his lips. "You sure know how to make your fated feel loved." You can feel the sarcasm in his hushed words, but it only drives you to the edge.
"You lied to me! Right now I could care less about how I make you feel. You did this to us, you've built this wall yourself and I just finished it. So don't pretend to act hurt when you've seemingly known me well enough you know how I would react."
"You don't understand. I don't want the connection severed, but it has to be done."
"Then what do you want? Because it seemed like you wanted to push me away so easily without a hint of remorse."
“I…” his voice wavers, eyes flicking to yours. “I want you to trust my judgment when I say your presence here is anything but good. But now that you’ve engraved yourself into our lives, it’s impossible to remove you. Not without hurting everyone.”
“So what are you saying Yeosang?”
“I’m saying that the only way to save everyone is if you push us away. By any means.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I want you to break our hearts, lady.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Lady,” his tone is forlorn, expression sunken. It hurts to look at even for a brief moment. “You know that we’re leaving. You know this, and yet you’re putting yourself through this torture. It will only be more troublesome if you let yourself attach to us further.”
“What about you? You’re not attached to me? You haven’t the slightest yearn to be by my side? Not at all?” You question, lip quivering. “Because I can barely keep myself together right now. I’m straining against my inner thoughts to embrace you.” You don’t want to admit it, you actually hate to. But there’s nothing else for you to do. You feel as if he’s pushing your thoughts to the side when you know it’s not only you who feels this way. No matter how much he tries to convince you otherwise.
"Being alone with you is the utmost dreadful experience. It's a balancing act between wanting to run away from you, and wanting to show you how much I desire you. As a human you have a set range of emotions, but as a Mav we feel that tenfold. If you ask any of your other Fates, they would say the same. Even if one in particular is reluctant to say so,” his smile is strained, eyes narrowing slightly at his words. “So hurting our hearts will push us away from you. You’ll be safe then.”
“Safe? You don’t think they’ll come after me when you leave? Try to pressure me for questions about your swift departure? You really think that?” You ask, fist tightening. “This isn’t the best course of action.”
“It’s the only course of action. And they won’t come after you because you have Commander Chan in your corner. He’d rather lay down his life than have you tortured.”
“That’s not something you should be certain of,” a voice says, interrupting the both of you. Yeosang takes a step away from you, the anguish in his expression disappearing with a blink. It scares you a bit on how quick he can hide his emotions. Though it makes sense, you hadn’t the slightest inkling that he knew you were Fated.
You turn to Yunho, his body resting against the open door as he looks between both of you. It doesn't seem that he's changed from the clothing he wore when he hunted down who tried to kill you, blood still stained against his collar. He has a playful grin on his lips, eyes flicking to yours. “Am I interrupting something?”
You often wondered how Yunho gained position as leader, he's carefree in comparison to Seonghwa. But you're sure there's something underneath the surface that you can't quite see yet.
“No, no. We were just speaking,” Yeosang says. "Did you hear much?" It’s a weighted question.
Both of your gazes focus on Yunho's. He has a questioning look in his eyes, but shakes his head. "Only the last thing you spoke of. Your private conversation is still that, private."
Yeosang nods. "We're finished then, she was just about to leave."
"Ah, was she? It seemed like you two were in deep conversation. I can come back another time," Yunho raises a brow, eyes still on yours.
“No it’s fine Yunho. He's right, I was just leaving. You can speak to Yeosang alone if you’d like,” you say, avoiding his inquisitive stare.
He chuckles dryly, "Well that's a pity. I wanted to speak to the both of you, since you are her guard now and Seonghwa has relieved himself of his duties." If you weren't looking in his direction, you wouldn't have seen Yeosang’s expression drop slightly.
"What is it?" You ask. The grin on his lips slips away as he moves into the room. He sits on the edge of your bed, pushing his blond strands from his forehead and clearing his throat.
"We found out who shot the arrows."
"You're telling me it was the military? Why would it be the militia when they are sworn to protect her? This doesn't make any sense to me," San says, pacing back and forth. You sit at the end of the parlor in a sole chair, head in your hands. There's nothing you can think of for solving this. They want to kill you for some odd reason, nothing you can comprehend. "It's not like we told them about our bond, so why are they targeting her? Why would they do such a thing? We killed rogue Mavs, not humans."
"It isn't the first time they used our own people against us," Mingi says softly. "They've plotted this before. Breaking us from the inside out. I'm sure they found out about the fight in the square and thought we'd just assume it was because of that that they targeted her. Luckily one of their old friends spoke up about it, or we'd never know."
Yunho nods. "It's smart. Make us look the other way, focus on Mavian rebel groups instead of humans. But I still don't understand why they would want to kill you, Lady," he narrows his eyes. "There's something we're missing."
"It doesn't matter," you mumble. All of their gazes slide to you, but you're too focused on your own words to pay any mind. "If my presence here is somehow ruining your lives, then I need to go. And whatever they want with me, they can do it while I'm not in the manor–"
"No," San interrupts. "Why would we release you from our protection while you're actively being targeted? No."
"You don't get to decide this for me, San," you glare. His gaze meets yours. Cold. Emotionless. The same look he gave you when you first saw each other. It bothers you, the solemness in his gaze. You know he's concerned about your well-being but this is your choice to make. No one else's. "I'm leaving."
"This could be best," Wooyoung murmurs. San scoffs, but he continues. "Chan wants her. Badly. He looked furious when he saw that she easily fit into the manor. He might have expected the opposite. So for her safety, it may be our most alluring option. And it will keep us out of their eyes momentarily. "
"They will never look away, not when they are suspecting something. I'm not letting her go," San says again. "I can't."
There's silence after his words. Yeosang hasn't said anything, and it seems like he doesn't plan to, his eyes cast outside. Seonghwa stands next to Yunho. He hasn't uttered a word, avoiding your gaze. You can feel San's anguish in your chest, the others' emotions hidden from you. Perhaps it's because they haven't accepted your bond. But at this moment, you don't care. You just want this heavy weight on your chest to disappear.
I’m saying that the only way to save everyone is if you push us away. By any means I want you to break our hearts, lady.
Your eyes move to him. Your heart is beating against your chest endlessly. You know they all can hear it. You know that they're expecting something from you. Anything. And despite wanting, craving… you've made your choice. If Yeosang wants you to break hearts, you'll do it.
"Okay. We can figure something out. Me leaving will be the last option," you say finally. San's face drops, relief coating his features. You give him a quick smile, ignoring everyone else. "That's my choice."
"Then so be it," Seonghwa says simply. "It's good that you're staying with us for a little longer, I will need you on a small trip into the city."
Yeosang scoffs this time, speaking up. "She almost died and you want her to frolic in the city? Isn't that against our objectives?"
“I don’t take her life lightly, Yeosang. This is why I’m telling everyone that I’m going, instead of having a secret outing and not mentioning it to others.” Seonghwa quirks his brow, Yeosang’s clenched jaw only pleasing him. “It won’t be long. Maybe a few hours at most. You know why I must bring her, it’s the only way to convince him to agree.”
“He’s right Yeosang,” Yunho says softly. “But again, you are her guard now. You can take the journey with them or–”
“It’s fine, I’ll stay behind,” Yeosang says quickly. “Seonghwa watched over her before, and I trust that he can continue to watch over her safety. I have no objections.”
“That settles it. Lady, I will see to it that you’re well enough to take the journey. San, I believe that you wanted to bring her back to her quarters? You can do that now, we have other things to discuss,” Yunho nods at you. “Have a good rest.”
“You seem annoyed,” San starts. You close the door behind you quietly, their soft whispers too low to make it to your ears. You don't say anything, his soft steps following close behind as you make your way back to your room. The one place where you can have a moment to yourself to think. To gather your ideas and come up with a plan to break their hearts. You already have three fated, and you don't want to find out if there's any more. Two out of three hate looking at you. A part of you wonders if San's soft gaze will turn back into a glare again. You've experienced it moments ago. It felt horrible.
"Hey Bug," San touches your elbow lightly. A shiver travels through your body as you pull your arm away from him. "I didn't mean–"
"San, I just need time to myself."
"I'd give you that if I didn't think you'd run away at the first chance you got," he says simply. You snort, rolling your eyes. "What? You've stated how you felt. You don't want to be here. I can feel what you're feeling. I know that you only said that to appease me."
"I said it because I was being stared at by all of you, and you all wanted me to decide on my fate. What if I said no, San? What would you have done to me? Could you stand there and tell me that you wouldn't have forced me to stay here?" You press, moving closer to him. He stands his ground despite the conflicting emotions in his expression. You reach up, your hand hesitating to touch his cheek. Touching is dangerous, lethal. Your thoughts are no longer your own. So, you drop your hand and step back. "Let's go back to how we were before. You hate me, and I avoid you as much as I can."
"San, would you just listen to me for once?"
"Would you listen to me? Because all I've been doing is listening to you. Following your words, letting my thoughts get pushed back for what you want," His voice sounds tired. He rests his hand lightly on your back, guiding you into a nearby room. It looks like a storage area, boxes packed and stacked around. He locks the door, turning around to look at you.
"You could have died. Do you understand that? Do you, really?" He looks at his hands, clenching them. "I wasn't there. I was in another fucking wing of this manor. I felt it, Bug. I felt how the poison felt in your body. I felt how it spread, I felt it when you fell unconscious. I was walking through the halls and outside when I saw the archer pointing directly at the porch. I didn't register it quick enough until he shot off two arrows before scattering. Then I ran, I kept on running. The others were close behind when we finally caught up to him. Do you know what I was going to do?"
"San, you don't have to say it. It's okay, I get it," you say softly, tears welling in your eyes as you stare at him.
"I was gonna tear him apart, limb by limb. I was going to make him suffer for what he did to you. I've never felt such rage coursing through my body, Bug. I…" he takes a breath. "I was going to torture him. And even now when I think of it, I don't have a hint of remorse. The others took care of him because they didn't believe I could control myself," he laughs dryly. "It's a bit funny. They said that, and yet they seemed overjoyed to take over the job themselves. I don't want you to push me away. I don't care what anyone else has told you. We can protect you. I can protect you–"
"San," you sigh softly. "Thank you for tracking down that person. But I don't want this for you. For any of you. I don't want you to have to kill people just because I was hurt. I told you before, I don't agree with the bloodshed. And I know Mavians don't either. It is because of me that you had to kill one of your own. It makes me feel guilty," you think back, noticing how many of their clothes were still stained with the aftermath. "You'll be fine without me."
“Bug…” He moves closer to you but you put your hand up, stopping him.
“I will always value your friendship and what you’ve done to make me, make us work. But I don't think it will. You’re leaving, San. All of you are leaving, and we have to come to terms with it together.”
“We can figure it out, we just have to think.”
“I’m not letting you stay here, and I’m not coming with you. I have too many things to think about. My brother, my parents, I have a life here, San. And you have a life out there without me.”
“We can figure it out,” he insists.
“If we weren’t Fated, would you say this?” You ask, eyes staring into his. His pupils shake, moving between each of yours. “San, if you were not Fated to me, would you even care for me the slightest?”
“Would you? Do you even know me, really?” You persist, moving closer to him. He shrinks slightly at your approach. It’s odd, seeing someone like San shrink away from you. He’s usually tougher, more built-up and serious in his approach. Seeing him like this, almost afraid of what you’ll say next, makes you hesitant. He seems to notice how you stop, rising slightly. “Do you really care for me? The real me?”
“You haven’t given me the chance to try,” he says softly. He doesn’t move to you, doesn’t invade your space whatsoever. He stands near the door, hands relaxed. “All you have done is push me away, Bug. You haven’t let me try and see who you are. Right now, I admire the person you are. How resilient you’ve been in saving your brother, how often you’ve pushed your wants aside for others. It’s something that I’ve struggled to do myself. And with your words now, I realized that I’ve been too selfish with you. I’ve pushed my feelings on you and cast yours aside. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about your well-being because I do, whether we are Fated or not. I want us to figure this out, Bug. Together.”
You can feel the walls you’ve built up with him crumble slightly. He still doesn’t move for you, eyes stuck on yours. You can see how watery the surface of his is, the shakiness in his gaze as he waits for you to reject his offer. To push him away, one last time. You move closer to him, ignoring the worried thoughts that threaten to spill over. Instead, you let your trembling arms wrap around his torso, a low, relieved breath falling from his lips as he takes you into him and embraces you with everything you have.
“I’m not my best self, San,” you say, fingers digging into his jacket. “I don’t know how to be vulnerable with anyone.”
“Then we can figure it out together,” he murmurs into your hair, lips pressed against it. “Just don’t push me away again, okay? That’s the only way we can help each other. I’m not going to push you into anything when you’re not ready. But I will be there for you when I can. You just can’t let all of this weigh on you alone. Let me take some of it away from you, even if it’s momentarily.”
You laugh into his chest dryly, “You’re too good for me, you know that right?”
His laugh matches yours. “I do. But I do want to say something,” he pulls away from you. You look up at him, watching as he bites his lip. “I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting. I shouldn’t be angry that you have other Fates, I was just angry at how he was treating you. Seonghwa is a hard shell to crack, and putting his anger into you isn’t okay to me. But I was acting immaturely, so I’m sorry. He’s been through a lot on his own, and I shouldn’t have involved myself. I won’t do it again,” he lets his hands travel up your waist, follow the curve along your neck, and hold your face in between his hands. “I’m deeply sorry.”
“How could I refuse an apology like that?” Your brow quirks, a smile curving into your lips. He grins down at you, the dimples you love to see forming on his cheeks. “Keep on looking at me like that and I’ll forgo this waiting time.”
“I’m ready whenever you are, my little Bug,” he whispers.
A light knock on the storage door pulls you out of your bubble. San moves his hands away from your face, turning around and opening it. Wooyoung stands there, his fingers waving in a quick flutter as he meets your eyes. The mischievous grin that always rests on his lips is still there, though there is an inquisitive stare as he glances at San.
“Have you two been…?” He cocks his brow. “Doing nefarious things in our storage closet? That’s quite scandalous of you, San. You know how Yeosang likes his things free of strange substances. Though, he may be a bit curious if it was one of yours,” he giggles.
“You’re disgusting,” San rolls his eyes, words free of anger. His hand reaches out, ruffling his hair before sliding down Wooyoung’s cheek, pinching it lightly. You’ve suspected something happening between them before, but you’ve always pushed it away. It’s none of your business and never will be, but you can’t help but notice the lingering look Wooyoung gives him as he pulls away, his eyes on his fingers. San doesn’t hide his gaze either, something heavily residing in his look. But it disappears once his eyes meet yours, care replacing what you can only call lust. “What do you want, you scoundrel?”
“Scoundrel? How rude!” Wooyoung fake gasps, hand resting on his chest. His eyes move to you. “I’m supposed to guide you to Yunho’s office. Quickly, he mentioned. So unfortunately I don’t have the time to stand here and play with you. San, you are not allowed to come unfortunately. It is just a meeting between her, Yunho and Seonghwa. So,” Wooyoung moves to the side, gesturing forward. “I’ll be following you close behind.”
You glance at San. He gives you a sweet smile and affirmative nod. You nod back, taking a step forward, before picking up the pace. You hear Wooyoung whisper something to San, before following you close behind. Surprisingly, Wooyoung doesn’t say much as he’s alone with you. Vastly different from the Mav you met not too long ago, his words playful and eyes filled with malignity. He’s calmer, quieter. You don’t bother making up idle conversation either, hands resting against your chest as you make your way through the halls. Again, you wonder a bit why everyone seems to guide you around when you’re perfectly fine making the way yourself.
“It is because of the lurking danger around corners, lovebug,” Wooyoung says, answering your question. “I could tell by your face that you were wondering, don’t think too deep into it,” he adds.
“But we’re in the manor, there isn’t a possibility of an intruder,” you say. He nods slowly, not offering another explanation. So that’s it. The only words you exchange when you make it to the door of the office. You turn back to thank Wooyoung for guiding you, but he’s all but gone, leaving you in the empty hallway. You knock one before entering, glancing between the two men as you open the door. They seem to be in deep conversation, eyes stuck on one another’s. Yunho is the first to break the hold, smiling at you lightly and gesturing for you to enter.
Seonghwa picks up the conversation, not daring to meet your gaze. “We have other options, Yunho. We can’t just up and leave when they’re watching our every move. Right now isn’t a great time, and I’m not sure if in the near future it will be great either. We all must make sacrifices, Yunho. I’m sure our people will understand completely. But picking up pace right now is only a selfish venture.”
You don’t dare ask what’s going on, the conversation and air between them thick.
Yunho scoffs. "I have lived for everyone but myself, Seonghwa. My every breath was taken just so that I can live a second more to lead you all. I didn't choose this. I didn't want to lead, I never did. I took it because you weren't strong enough to do it yourself, and you would have led us down a path of misery. So don't stand there and tell me that I'm being selfish when you're the one who put your feelings above everyone else's," Yunho stops ranting, taking a slow breath as he looks away from him. "Just get our leader from the plaza and bring him back. Tell him to be in good shape to meet Chan. We don't need anything or anyone else delaying our plans."
The two of you stand there in silence as Yunho finishes his speech, sitting quietly down at his desk. He doesn't give Seonghwa a glance, flipping through papers.
"Is that what you truly think of me?" Seonghwa asks softly, fingers curling around the papers. "You considered me selfish?"
"I already dismissed you. No need to stand there and argue a mute point with me."
"No. You can't sit there and expect me to take your words as law. Because I am not selfish, Yunho. I've never been selfish, and you telling me that just makes me feel like you've valued our time as nothing," Seonghwa swallows loudly. "I was never meant to be a leader and you know that. I never had the physical or mental capabilities to do it, especially not after losing the one Mavian I loved."
Yunho stops shifting his papers, eyes still down.
"You were right in telling San that he doesn't know what death could do to you. But you don't know either. You don't know how it felt to be crouched over her body, her blood soaking my fingers. To stand there and not have the tools to save her. You don't get it. Seeing her life slowly fade as she stares at you, until there's nothing left. You haven't the slightest clue what that could do to someone. I would have never been able to lead you all to victory because I'm not even capable of saving someone I love. Thinking about it now makes me want to fall into that endless hole again. I am not selfish, Yunho. I am realistic. I never would have been a good enough leader for you all."
He bows slightly. You can see the way his eyes water, but he holds it in. "I'll see to it that Hongjoong is here by afternoon tomorrow. Have a good night, Yunho. Come with me immediately, Peacemaker," He turns on his heel, his eyes meeting yours for the briefest moment, before exiting the room. You look at Yunho, but he doesn’t give you the slightest glance. You’re not sure what to say to fix anything, so you follow Seonghwa out the door.
"Tonight?" You say, picking up your pace as you follow Seonghwa. He moves swiftly through the hallway, a seemingly permanent frown on his lips. Whatever happened before he told you the two of you were leaving the manor tonight must have irked him. He barely gave you a glance since you've been navigating through the hallways. He holds the front door open for you, closing it a bit harshly once you exit through. He takes out his keys, making his way around to the driver's side. He presses his finger on the glass, the car starting on its own.
"Tonight is the only time Hongjoong lingers around the town square. For the rest of the week it's a bit hard to spot him. He's often in places we can't find him. But on nights like this he enjoys liquor in a bar on the opposite side of town," he slides inside the vehicle, gesturing for you to follow.
You slowly sink into the seat, keeping your arms to yourself as you look around the car. You've never been in one yourself, besides the old bus that dropped you off. It's sleek and modern in design, a steering wheel not seen. It's a bit interesting how Mavians can enjoy luxuries like this, but can't walk above ground. A paradox, really. It’s odd that, although most of his people are living in shambles, the juxtaposition between that and the technology they’re allowed to use. You wonder a bit if it’s to stop them from rebelling, to appease the top Mavians for a moment.
"I thought none of you speak to him?"
"He's our defunct leader, whether we like it or not. The humans often ask for his presence in meetings. During those times he's always high on some new substance, or drunk. But this upcoming meeting is important. He has to look at least functional so the humans don't try to take advantage. And the meeting is tomorrow, if you were wondering."
"If this is so important, why are you bringing me? I know nothing about him–"
"As with Wooyoung, he likes new things to play with. Seeing a human female in Mavian territory is something strange to encounter, but even more so one that is Fated to more than one of us,” he says, the car lurching forward. It drives slowly into the night, taking back roads instead of the main one Yeosang and Mingi used on your adventure several days ago. “He would like to meet someone of a remarkable occurrence. Hopefully enough to motivate him to clean himself up for one morning. But when we get there, don’t speak to him much. A word here or there is fine, but I want to have you mysterious enough for him to follow what we say.”
You nod, looking out into the night. Through this path, only the headlights of the car light your way. It’s pitch black. You’ve never been frightened of the night, but the eerie silence from both the car and the lack of conversation makes a wave of fear roll through you. There’s nothing distracting your thoughts from roaming elsewhere.
Seonghwa has avoided you all this time. Especially being alone with one another. He hasn’t mentioned the Fated mark on purpose. And it’s not like you want to acknowledge it as well, you’re already struggling on your own with San and Yeosang. But feeling the pure disinterest from him makes your heart ache slightly. It’s funny; you’ve been so set on pushing San away, that you didn’t realize how it felt to be on the receiving end. It’s humbling.
“You don’t have to pretend to not have questions for me,” Seonghwa starts, finally filling the silence. “It only makes our brief presence in each other’s lives more heavy. Say what you have to say.”
“We don’t have to be anything, Seonghwa,” you say. Your words seem to take him off guard, eyes finally moving to you. “This Fated thing, whatever it is. We don’t have to force ourselves to like each other. An otherworldly presence isn’t going to make me suddenly fall in love with you. And I’m sure you feel the same.”
“... it is not that I don’t want to feel anything for you, Peacemaker. It is that I cannot, even if I desired it,” he says softly, barely heard over the low hum of the car. “I’ve had my heart torn apart, as you’ve heard from my conversation with Yunho. I don’t want that feeling again. I don’t want to care for someone to that point.”
You look at him, watch how the thought seems to push him deeper and further away from you. You’ve never wanted to take over his heart. You didn’t even want this in the first place. But you’ve seen the warmth in his gaze once, passing by as he spoke to a caretaker. He’s capable of feeling something other than dread.
“Can you tell me about her?” You ask. Seonghwa’s head whips to you, questions in your eyes. “Sometimes it’s better to talk about it then hold it in. I’m sure you haven’t had the chance to speak about her in a long time. But you don’t have to, Seonghwa. It’s just a suggestion, that’s all.”
“Ari was someone that I’ve always seen around Wysteria. She was the complete opposite of me; social and loud. She loved everyone she came across, she shined. It seemed something that would never happen, for me to even have the value of being in her presence. But she was also temperamental and irritated easily. We argued a lot, even with the Fates tying us together. But at the end of long days, we’ve always come back together with ease. She loved my presence, and I loved hers. Where I calmed her she opened me up. We were young lovers, anticipating the future of our lives, anxious to see how we’d journey through each moment with each other.
“I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like Ari again. She’s unique. Loved with ease. Cared without blinking. She would cry, when a creature on our planet died from natural causes. I’ve never seen such grieve strike a person like the way it did her. She crumbled and didn’t sleep right for days. It was hard to pull her out of it, but I tried. Her care was just too much for her to hold inside herself. There was a point where I couldn’t handle it on my own, but by then she’d go back to herself. I knew that it still sat on her shoulders, but she pushed it away. That was one of the things that I admired about her, but hated; she cared, but is it possible to care too much? Because if it was, she was the definition of it. Perhaps that was the moment where I realized that I might lose her soon.
“The day we lost our planet was the day we were to be joined as one. Ari insisted that she stay behind to help our people board the ships. I told her to come with me, I begged her. But there was nothing I could do. And I don’t often admit it to myself, but I hated that she cared. I hated it so much, that she wasn’t for a moment selfish in her ways. Ari was beautiful and caring, but the care took her life. I held her dying body in my hands, my fingers gripping her with all of my strength. Thinking that there was a possibility that I would be able to push it into her, give her another breath of life. But that wasn’t the case. I watched her eyes gloss over, watched as life kissed her one last time and disappeared.
He blinks finally, pulling himself out of the anguish. His lips quirk slightly.
“I miss her to the point where it’s unbearable. I often have nights of wanting to rip out my heart, wishing that I had taken her place. I cared too much. I suffer a kind of loneliness that just doesn’t go away with the thought of having another. That is why I can’t be with you, Peacemaker. And I will never be able to. Not in your lifetime and maybe many after. I apologize if that wasn’t the happy story you were looking for.”
“You isolate yourself as much as possible to reduce the amount of loss expected,” you say simply. “I know it’s easier to. And I don’t want to influence your feelings because I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel anything for you. But doing that to yourself will only be worse in the end. It’s hard for me to believe in anything, especially knowing how humans are, and how I’ve been treated my whole life. But I do believe in something. It’s going to hurt badly either way. Life is going to tear you apart, break you into pieces that you’ll struggle to put back together. But preventing yourself from creating memories to fall back on in those moments will only destroy you. At least try to give yourself something when times get tough. Make and cherish those moments, and don’t push them away.”
You look at him, “And I saw the happy in your story Seonghwa, even if you couldn’t see it. The way you speak of her. You love her, and always will. And I’m sure she knew that too when she sacrificed her life to save others. The love was there, Seonghwa. It’s unfortunate that it didn’t change anything, there were just too many things that prevented it from blossoming the way you wanted it to. But it still matters. The love was there, and the love still is.”
No other words were said after that. The car parked on the side and Seonghwa got out, following him close behind. He slowed down his pace compared to before though, allowing you to walk by his side. You’re a bit glad for the change, there’s the question if you’ve offended him by offering some words. But from the slight change, you’ve assumed otherwise. He still doesn’t say much to you, only words like stay close to me or don’t look too deep into that Mavian’s eyes. You’re covered in a cloak, hiding you from wandering gazes. Some give you a few questioning gazes, but not enough to realize that you’re a female and a human. You wonder if at this time of night, there are Mavian that aren’t as friendly to humans. Or if because of them killing the Mavian that struck you, they’re more wary of your presence. It’s not a stretch, only making you move slightly close to Seonghwa as he makes his way through the streets.
“He often rests between the side street of the brothel and bar,” Seonghwa says, slowing down his pace. “It’s where no one judges him, the Mavs too drunk to pay any mind to their withering leader. Never former, since everyone considers him to still be an influential part of our society. Yunho has helped his reputation a bit, telling our people that he’s still active in our leadership.”
“And they believe that?” You ask.
Seonghwa’s lips crack into a light smile, “It’s better to believe something that isn’t true than to face it head on. No one wants to think of our leader as someone incompetent. He will always be renowned as the man who saved the Mav race from dying on Wysteria. Ah, there he is.” Seonghwa gestures to a few steps on the side of the building. You see a Mavian leaning against the stones, barely conscious.
Seonghwa doesn’t bother to say anything else to you, making his way over to the Mavian. He kicks his leg once, not too hard. Just enough to wake him. The Mavian groans, eyes lifting.
“You’ve come to me,” his head rests against the cement staircase, blue eyes narrowing as they meet Seonghwa. “I told you to stay away.” His clothing is unlike any you’ve seen in the large Mav colony. Even the Mavian that roam the streets don’t seem as unkempt as him. His clothing is filled with holes, most of his torso flashing back at you in the darkness. His face is covered in scruff from lack of shaving. Hair tousled messily on his head, circle glasses resting on top of his head, filled with cracks. He would fit into your neighborhood with ease, except the large Mavian tattoos crowding his neck.
“If I had another choice I wouldn’t even speak to you again Hongjoong,” he says back, scoffing. Hongjoong, you’ve finally learned the leader’s name. “All you ever do is drink your sorrows away and pity yourself. You’re not fit to be the leader anymore, even if you were excellent before.”
“Ah,” he snorts, his stringy, blue hair blocking most of his face. It doesn’t look like it’s been trimmed in a while. “Was that a compliment between the insults?”
“Just get sober for an hour and then we can talk,” Seonghwa tosses him a towel. The old leader doesn’t even try to catch it, the fabric hitting his face. You’d laugh at the silliness of the moment, if the situation wasn’t serious. “At least make yourself look presentable. We’re meeting with the human leaders. They need to see that you’re still alive.”
“Haven’t they figured out that I have no authority anymore, Hwa?” He murmurs, sliding the towel down his face. It stains the makeup that lines his cheeks, blue streaks against his face. His gaze finally moves to you, eyebrows furrowing. “A human woman? What’s she doing with you? They aren’t allowed in our colonies.”
“You’ll get the answers to your questions when you clean yourself up,” Seonghwa grumbles. “So will you join us tomorrow morning or not? Hey!” Seonghwa reaches down, gripping his collar and shaking Hongjoong. You gasp slightly at the sight, moving back. You can see the frustration in Seonghwa’s gaze. But after spending a few silent moments with him, you can see between the anger. He cares, even if he doesn’t want to show it. “Pay attention to me, idiot! Are you coming or not?”
Hongjoong pushes his hand off lazily, “Alright, I’m going, I’m going. You shouldn’t be grabbing your leader like that, you know,” he jokes. That only seems to anger Seonghwa more. But he lets go of him roughly, kicking the can of liquor that Hongjoong reaches for. Hongjoong whines, but he ignores it. Watches as Hongjoong quickly picks up the spilling can.
“You’re a disappointment to me, Joong. You will always be a disappointment to me. But unfortunately, I don’t trust you enough to come on your own. Mingi is here to help you come back.”
You turn around, watching as Mingi appears from the dark. He smiles at you, eyes moving around yours to flick to the fallen leader. “How you doing, old capt’?” He says. There’s a hint of worry in his gaze as he watches Hongjoong swing back another can of beer, sighing lightly. “No more alcohol tonight, we have a big day tomorrow. Need you sober for it.”
“Agh, you wound me Mingi,” Hongjoong says, clenching his chest in mock agony. “I can function without it. Just one more drink for the night?”
Mingi frowns. “One.”
Seonghwa tugs on your arm, pulling you away from the scene. You look up at his face as he guides you through the streets, tugging your hood a bit roughly over your face. You don’t say anything to him, letting him hold you tight as he pulls you back to the car. There’s nothing you can say; you didn’t expect the former Mavian leader meeting to be so somber, but Seonghwa warned you. He wasn’t as he once was. There was an aura of defeat around him, failure reeking from his body as he sat on the steps. It reminded you of nights when you were younger, caring for your fallen mother or father as they came back from long days of working. Until they’ve drunk themselves down to the point where they couldn’t stand.
“Papa, come on,” you uttered, tugging on his heavy body. You couldn’t have been more than eight years old at the time, watching as your father drank himself asleep. You hid it away from Jongho’s gaze, knowing it would hurt him to see his parents so down. You pulled and pulled, desperate for him to get off the streets and into your shack.
“You’re… take… of us. Forever,” your father said through quick murmurs. It was too low and indistinguishable for you to understand. But it happened every night. He’d profess that he’d do better, that you will be okay. That he’d take on more jobs and time to get you out of the slums. But it was to no avail. You’ve grown to realize that your parents let luxuries stop your family from moving forward, caring too much about material things rather than survival. But there you were, a young girl desperately pulling your father into your home.
Wondering if there was something wrong with you, to be born into a family like that. To have parents care so little for your well-being. To force you, the oldest sibling, to have the weight of daily survival on your shoulders.
From that, you can see how Seonghwa felt. Watching the Mavian leader succumb to alcohol. You just hope that this time it isn’t too late. Because unlike your parents, you could see hope from that brief interaction between the both of them. Hongjoong cared for his people, for Seonghwa and Mingi. He just needed a push.
You two make it back to the car, still saying nothing to one another. Seonghwa slams his door rather harshly again, the sound echoing in the night. You wonder if the Fates knew how similar the both of you are. You’ve experienced the loss of your parents, only shells that rested in the shack back home. Seonghwa experienced the loss of his love, his leader. It was so odd, how similar you were. You haven’t entirely repaired yourself enough to consider being happy, and you’re sure Seonghwa doesn’t even want to start. Is it a joke, matching the two of you together this way? Have the Fates seen how broken the two of you were, and thought it’d be humorous to pair you up?
How cruel the world could be.
“He is here, do with him as you will,” Seonghwa walks up the steps, eyes forward as he passes Yunho. “I wish you luck. He was barely awake when I found him on the back steps of the bar.” He disappears into the front door, leaving you alone with Yunho. Said man sighs, watching as Mingi pulls Hongjoong up the path from his car.
“You’ve done well, Peacemaker,” Yunho says, nodding at you slightly. “You can rest now, no need for one of us to guide you to your quarters. And I apologize for being overly cautious, we can’t be too sure when the military is out there trying to kill you.” He says sympathetically. “Thank you again.”
“I’ve done nothing but show my face,” you say. “No need to thank me for that.”
“It was enough to convince Hongjoong to get off his stoop. Seonghwa has been there plenty of times with no luck, so your presence must have intrigued him enough to move. It was the only unique thing after several attempts.”
“Will seeing Hongjoong changes things?” You ask Yunho.
He purses his lips. “Maybe. Chan is a very fickle individual. He could be surprised, or he could be expecting it. I hope he is shocked at least a bit. It’ll give us an advantage in the strategic meeting. And unfortunately, he wants to see you,” Yunho looks at you with sympathy. “I’ve told him to make sure he brings with him Jongho’s communication letters, because we have yet to receive one. He agreed, in exchange for seeing you again. I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to tell you.”
“No, this is good. It gives me something of my brother. I’m worried about him,” you say softly, watching as Hongjoong stumbles over the loose pebbles. Mingi sighs as he looks down at him, picking the former leader up with ease. “Thank you for adding that in, Yunho. Really.” You touch his arm lightly out of instinct, pulling back immediately.
Yunho blinks quickly, eyebrows furrowing as they meet your gaze. The polite look that he always has is immediately filled with awe, and a bit of fear. His mouth parts as he takes a slight step to you, but you move back quickly. No. It couldn’t be–
“Peacemaker?” he utters. You move around him, making your way through the front door. “Wait, Lady!”
“I wish you a good night!” You shout back, moving through the hallways. Caretakers try to stop you, but you ignore all of them, pushing your way through. You hit a solid body as you turn a corner, the both of you falling to the floor. Your head almost hits the mahogany, but his hand stops you, hitting it instead. You try to push off of him, but he grasps your forearms, holding you steadily against him.
Yeosang looks up at you, confusion in his eyes as he stares at your teary ones. “What’s the matter?”
“Yunho… I, he…” You can barely speak, lips trembling. He lets go of your forearms, letting you get off of him. You pace back and forth, trying your best to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t give you a chance to, pulling you along and into his room, shutting the door quickly. He gestures for you to sit at his side table, resting on the chair next to it as you make your way there.
You sit down slowly, letting your head rest in your hands. “He’s one of the Fated, Yeosang,” you finally utter. “I touched his arm out of habit, and I felt it. I felt the same thing I felt with the three of you. He is one of them, Yeosang. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
A defeated sigh falls from his lips. “It is as I thought.”
Your head whips up, eyes meeting his. He looks resolute, his gaze tired. “What did you think, Yeosang?”
“All of it made no sense in the beginning. After Seonghwa, I suspected it but you’ve finally confirmed it with this. y/n…”
“Don’t say it,” you say, stopping him in his tracks.
“We need to talk about it.”
“We don’t. Not now, at least. Not now. We have bigger things to worry about, especially with Hongjoong and Chan tomorrow. I’ve just overreacted, it could have been a sting, maybe. Nothing would come of it, I assure you,” you say to him, although it felt as if you were trying to convince yourself. “I’ll leave like you said, and we wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.”
“But if he is a Fated–"
“He isn’t!” You say a bit loudly, eyes narrowing at him. “He can’t be, okay? He can’t be, Yeosang.”
He raises his hands up in surrender. “Alright. And as you’ve said, it doesn’t matter right now. Nothing does, since you’ll be leaving soon.” His eyes move to the floor. “I wanted to talk to you about something before you told me this news. I know you’d be leaving soon, so I thought it’d be in our best interests if we explored the options.”
“Options?” you ask.
You’ve rarely noticed Yeosang’s change of emotions. He’s often silent in the presence of others, but open in private. And right now, there’s a hint of curiosity in his gaze as his eyes stare into yours. He swallows, and you watch as his apple slowly slides at the motion, staring back at you.
“I wish time had better timing for you and me,” he admits softly. “Then I would have cherished you with every fiber of my being, loved you with every breath.”
“You told me that it wasn’t ever possible,” you say.
“And I didn’t lie.”
“Then what did you want to ask?”
“Can we pretend for a brief moment, that our love wasn’t an impossibility?” He spreads his legs a bit, as if waiting for you to come in between them, to rest on his thighs. And you, being the fool you are, take it in stride. You slowly stand, pushing away your thoughts of anxiety at the thought of tomorrow. Letting yourself relish in this brief moment. His lines on his forehead relax once you rest yourself on top of his legs, body towards him, your legs resting on either side of his.
You press your lips lightly against his temple, just above his birthmark. His skin is as soft as his gaze, his eyelids brushing delicately against his cheeks. You pull back, gliding your fingers through his black locks. His gaze moves to you in wonder, eyes scanning your face. Before you can pull back completely, his hand pushes against your back, preventing you from moving back further. His other hand slides up the curve of your body, before resting just underneath the back of your hairline.
"Don't do that and expect me to just sit here quietly," he murmurs. Without warning, he pulls you into him, a low gasp falling from his lips as your mouth meets his. Instead of the frantic passion you expected, he was slow and deliberate. His tongue sliding against yours with tender care, fingers digging into your neck. Both of you know this will be the last time you’d ever do something like this again. Your hands slip underneath his loose shirt, dragging along the defined muscles that hid beneath the fabric. He lifted his hands from your head, pulling away from you as you lifted the shirt over his head. He barely gave you a chance to admire his chest, pulling your body against him as he stands. You wrapped your legs around his body, your back hitting his sheets softly. He climbed on top of you, fingers shaking as they touched your hips. You let your fingers curl into his, his trembling subsiding.
“It’s okay to let go, Yeosang,” you whisper against his shoulder. His fingers tighten against yours, his forehead resting on yours. His eyes look into yours. For a moment, you can feel the surreal bond that you two have and pushed aside. Your heart beats against your chest, breaths mingled together as you sit there for a moment.
“You make it seem so easy,” he murmurs, pulling his fingers out of yours. His hands linger on your hips, slowly pulling them down your legs. They catch the lining of your underwear. He hooks his index fingers on the fabric, gliding it down as well. He rocks his hips against yours, your pants falling to the side of the bed. “Can I touch you?”
“Yes,” you breathe, his fingers slowly making their way between your legs. He cups you, middle finger disappearing between your folds. He finds your clit with ease, rubbing it lightly. You gasp, hands gripping his shoulders as he rubs slowly. He pulls away before you can reach your peak, moving off the bed and pulling down his pants, dropping them next to yours. Your eyes flick to the tattoo resting on his waist, a flower you can’t name low on his left hip, the stem curving around his thigh, disappearing behind it. You don’t get the chance to observe further, his hand stroking his cock slowly.
He keeps his dark eyes on yours, fingers rubbing the tip lightly. A soft y/n falls from his lips as his lids flutter, his strokes increasing quickly. He stops himself, moving back on the bed. His fingers enter you quickly, two at once. You moan lightly, the tips curling into you with ease, the wet sounds of your arousal filling the silence. His thumb rubs your clit quickly, his eyes still on yours, biting his lip as he watches you come undone on his hand.
“Yeosang--” you muster through gasps, gripping his wrist. “I’m gonna…”
“Look at me, y/n,” he says your name with the utmost warmth, thumb moving quicker as you tighten against his fingers, moaning as you shudder, coming against his hand. He slows down his pace, stopping when you whine softly. He lifts his fingers to his tongue, sucking on them as he meets your gaze. “Can’t wait to be inside you,” he grins.
He moves above you, lining his cock with you. You see the scars lining his chest, matching the rope scars on his wrists. You look at them, suddenly aware of how you look right now in his eyes. But his gaze is only filled with wonder as he looks down at you. He presses his lips against yours, lifting your shirt up with ease. His eyes flick across your torso, lightly pecking each scar he sees. You feel tears welling in your eyes as he touches them with the utmost care, his fingers tracing them lightly.
“You’re beautiful, y/n,” he murmurs, rubbing his cock against your folds. You tremble each time it rubs against your clit, the anticipation making your heartbeat feel as if it’ll escape your ribcage. “Let me see how pretty you can be.”
He pushes into you, your moans matching as he moves in slowly. His lips suck lightly on your neck as his cock stretches your walls. Your hands wrapped around his neck, lips pecking his shoulder as he moved into you with ease.
You wonder if you ever knew desire before this, his fingers tight against your hips as he rocked into you slowly. Cherishing every moment your hips met one another’s, your skins touching like a soft kiss. Flimsy promises to one another that wouldn’t be met. His soft gasps each time you squeezed his cock, rewarded with a quick stroke. The greatest moment of intimacy wasn’t the way he felt in you. It was the way he touched you delicately, with as much care as he could muster, with what you could see in his eyes as love and affection. As his fingers wiped the tears falling from your eyes, swallowing the moans with the deep stroke of his tongue, the soft whimpers of his love as he pushed deeper and deeper into you.
His shuddering hips quickened, strokes harder and quicker than before. You moaned, your legs trembling as you came on his cock, and a few quick strokes later, he came inside you, filling you with his warmth. He kept his cock in you as he rolled to the side, pulling you against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, pressing you as close as possible. In ordinary circumstances, you’d push away and insist that you’d shower. But you don’t want to move, don’t want to think about what happens after this.
“Thank you,” Yeosang says against your skin. “Thank you for making me feel like it’s okay to love you for one night.”
The morning comes quickly, a quiet walk to your room and quick shower in the morning erasing what happened last night. Yeosang watched you leave, not uttering a word as your eyes met when you left him alone on the bed. You didn’t move all night surprisingly, his cum dried and gross inside of you. You wash it away quickly that morning, tugging on your military regalia that you arrived in to meet the others in Yunho’s office. Mingi is there to escort you this morning, resting outside your door, his fingers resting against his gun as he watches you exit the room. His eyebrows furrow once they meet yours, and you worry that Yunho must have said something to him last night.
“Did you sleep in Yeosang’s room last night?” he asked. “I noticed you running from it earlier this morning.”
“Ah, I didn’t think anyone saw,” you admit. He chuckles dryly.
“I’m his neighbor, it’s a bit hard not to,” Mingi says, holding out his arm for you to hold. You pretend to not see, clearing your throat quickly. He drops his arm, confusion still in his gaze. He doesn’t get the chance to question you as you make your way forward, following next to you through the hallways. “Chan isn’t here yet, there’s no need to rush.”
“Nope,” he makes a popping sound with the ‘p’, “We’re going to the dining hall first so,” he blocks the right path to Yunho’s office, gesturing for you to turn right. “I’d be scolded if you didn’t eat anything this morning.”
You roll your eyes, but follow his path. Mingi is always talkative, speaking about how he wrangled Hongjoong into bed, having to clean him up in the morning when he took a shower. You can imagine it, Mingi slipping in the wet floors of the bathroom as Hongjoong took his time washing.
“He’s in the dining room right now,” Mingi says. You stop walking, his eyebrows furrowing. “What’s wrong?”
“I’d rather not be in the same room as him, no offense Mingi,” you say. “He reminds me too much of my parents.” You thought that his presence wouldn’t bother you, but the thought of having to pretend that you were fine as he sat across from you is something you don’t like. And you don’t blame Mingi; he doesn’t know your past with your parents. None of them do. But that glimpse of Hongjoong sitting on the ground, desperate for another drink, only made you want to crawl into yourself. Throwing you back into memories you thought you were over. “I’m sorry if this inconveniences you.”
“Ah, no it’s fine,” Mingi says quickly, waving you off. You thank him for understanding without prying further. “Wait here, I’ll kick him out so you can eat.”
He completely understood, just the wrong way. “No, he can stay I can just skip–”
“No need to skip breakfast when I’m already finished,” you turn, seeing Hongjoong stand there. He wears a suit, except the tie and vest are gone. He pushes his wet hair away from his face, eyes flicking between yours. “You can take your time, peacemaker,” a teasing smile coats his lips. If you didn’t see him hunched over last night, you wouldn’t have suspected anything off. He scratches the back of his neck, gesturing you forward. “We’ll talk about your strange appearance in Mavian territory soon enough. Seonghwa would be furious that I’d question you without him around. A bit of his controlling side, I think.”
“Don’t speak of him that way,” Mingi says, frowning. “Yunho is waiting for you in his office. We’ll be there when Chan comes.” He shrugs, turning on his heels and walking off. You let out a breath, rubbing your face. Mingi smiles at you understandingly, “I’m sorry about him. If I knew, I wouldn’t have gone to the dining room. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me Mingi, it’s okay,” you say, entering the room. Plates of fruits and other things are sitting on the table as you rest in one of the chairs, taking a plate. Mingi sits next to you, grabbing a few fruits and munching on them silently. “So, you’re letting Hongjoong walk around the manor without someone following him around.”
He nods, “Hongjoong many be an incompetent leader, but he knows his boundaries. Yunho has taken charge of this manor and he will always be a guest. But they both come to an agreement. Hongjoong with appear when he needs to appease the humans, but Yunho will be in charge of everything else. It brings harmony; Hongjoong doesn’t have to make official decisions and Yunho doesn’t have to declare himself as the true leader to Mav. It benefits both of them in the end.”
“But why doesn’t Yunho take his place officially?” You ask.
Mingi eats a strawberry, hesitating. “It’s complicated. Our people aren't yet ready to see a change in leadership. Sure, they've accepted Yunho's position. But a lot haven't given up on Hongjoong, even if he's given up on himself. But I’m not supposed to say anything to you about Hongjoong and his past. Not up to me to divulge any juicy information.”
“Thanks anyway, that was enough,” you take a bite of dry toast, glancing out the window. You’ve gotten a bit used to the night, although you did crave the sun sometimes. The warmth of it, the bright lights. You did notice that your time spent out of it made you paler, your eyebags deeper against your skin. But you were healthier than you were before, three meals a day and snacks if necessary. They made sure that you ate too, encouraging you despite your lack of an appetite. A part of you thinks it’s because of Jongho, his health state unknown, that makes you feel guilty for indulging in what they give you. You just hope that this morning, Chan has the letters from your brother. So that you’d have the slightest inkling if he was doing well on his own.
Mingi glances at the clock, wiping his fingers with a napkin and clearing his throat. You like being in his presence, he did fill the silence when need be, and remained silent when he deemed it necessary. Mingi has been a comforting presence since you’ve arrived, the anger from the first meeting disappearing quickly. He reminded you a bit of your brother; headstrong and humorous, helping whenever you were down. If you stayed longer than you planned, you would consider him a friend.
“Chan should be arriving soon. We should get going. If you want you can grab some extra things to dine on as we walk,” he gestures to the table, but you shake your head, cleaning off your fingers with the hand wipes and standing up. You both leave, quickly bowing to the caretakers that come in and clean up after you.
Mingi doesn’t fill the silence this time, sticking close to you as you walk up the steps to Yunho’s office. He’s covered from head to toe in a thick leather, gloves as well. Before you make it to Yunho’s door, he stops, tugging on your sleeve lightly.
“I have to warn you,” Mingi says softly, eyes flicking to the closed doors. “Yunho has been a bit off since last night. He hasn’t said a word to me, which is odd since he often vents his frustrations with me. But you might notice how he isn’t as cheerful as he usually is. Whatever happened at night must have bothered him enough into this early in the morning,” Mingi sighs. “I’m sure he hasn’t slept either, with the ruckus that Hongjoong brings. Just, don’t take his harsh words to heart, alright? He doesn’t mean any of it.”
You’re reminded of last night, how you ran away and into the arm’s of Yeosang. How Yunho looked at you. It was unlike the others, there was no fear in his gaze. Shock maybe, but he wasn’t afraid. After last night’s events you completely let it slip your mind. And now here you are, steps away from his fury at what happened. Mingi tugs you forward, his gloved hand encasing yours. You look at his in shock, and he gives you a quick smile.
“You’ll be okay,” he says simply, guiding you forward. He gives your hand a quick squeeze before opening the door, letting your hands part. The door creaks slightly as it opens. You see Yunho writing something, Seonghwa on the opposite side of the room reading a novel. Yeosang stands next to his desk, Wooyoung resting on the window seat, his leg swinging. San’s eyes meet yours, a smile on his lips. But your gaze is focused on Yunho’s. He glances up, eyes flicking between you and Mingi. It settles on yours for a moment, before clearing his throat.
“Chan is arriving soon. The peacemaker can sit next to Wooyoung, while the rest of us keep an eye on Chan. Ah, Hongjoong,” his eyes move to the side of you. You turn, seeing Hongjoong sit leisurely in the cushions. He rubs his forehead, blinking slowly. “At least make yourself look awake and ready. I can’t have you sleeping on the job.”
“Aye aye capt’,” Hongjoong chuckles, leaning up slowly. You make your way around the others, Wooyoung dropping his legs so you can sit next to him. He’s dressed casually like he always is, except his neckline isn’t all the way down to his button. You can tell he just threw his outfit together, tie loose on his neck. He leans in close to you, cupping his mouth as he moves to your ear.
“Didn’t know Yeo could make those kind of sounds,” He murmurs, your head turning to him quick. He wiggles his brows, nudging you slightly. “Next time ask me to join in on the fun, yea?”
“Alright, he’s here,” Yunho stands up quick. Hongjoong slowly stands, stretching out his arms as the office door opens, with Mingi’s assistance. You straighten up, preparing yourself to greet the man you hate to see. Chan slides into the room with ease, unaccompanied by guards. He shakes Yunho’s hand firmly, his loud voice echoing around the room to greet everyone. Yunho nods at him, frowning slightly when he looks behind Chan.
“I thought you said it’d only be you,” Yunho says. “We didn’t prepare for additional guests.”
“I thought that my peacemaker would enjoy this guest,” Chan’s lips rest in a teasing grin, moving out the way for you to see. “Consider him as a token of my appreciation for keeping her relatively out of harm’s way.”
Your eyes move to the man that walks from behind him. His clothing is clean, the same uniform you wore when you first entered the underground. His wide eyes look around the room, taking in the unfamiliar faces. His expression is tense, until it lands on you. His furrowed brows relax, a smile forming on his lips. You waste no time, pushing past everyone in the room and into his arms. He relaxes in your hold, your body shaking with relief as you take him in. Your fingers dig into his brown hair, pulling him as deep into your hold as you can.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” you tell him softly, pulling away slightly to look at him. He’s grown taller since you’ve last seen him, you look slightly up at him. You hold your face in his hands, eyes flicking between his. He doesn’t look hurt at all, face free of any cuts or bruises. The sunken, hollow cheeks that you were used to holding were vibrate, skin clear of dirt and grime. “You look good, Jongho.”
“I’m happy you’re okay, y– Ladybug,” he almost slips up with your name, glancing at Chan. “He told me about your leg,” he glances down at said leg, frowning. “Why the hell are people trying to kill you? Did you really piss someone else off? You told me you’d try to stay safe.”
“And I am, Jongho. But we’ll talk about that later. Why didn’t you answer any of my letters?”
This time confusion covers his expression. “Letters?”
“Ah, we’ll wrap up this for now, yea?” Chan says, stepping closer to the two of you. You back up, moving your body in front of Jongho’s slightly. It’s an instinct of yours, one that doesn’t go away anymore. Chan cocks his head to the side at your protective stance, nodding slowly. “We should be speaking about strategy. Reunions can be saved for after you come with me. Our engagement has been delayed long enough, hasn’t it?”
You say nothing, not moving from Jongho’s side. Hongjoong clears his throat, clapping his hands to interrupt the awkward atmosphere. Yunho’s gaze moves to his, expression speaking to him without uttering a word. But he ignores it, tucking his hands in his long coat pockets, looking at Chan. “So you’re the commander. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he holds out his hand, “I’m Captain Hongjoong of the last Wysteria ship. The one that your people decided to destroy and take for parts, that is.” He holds a smile on his lips, but you can see the irritation between his words.
Chan takes his hand, shaking once before letting go. “I never thought I’d ever see you around, Captain. Frankly, I’ve heard a lot of negative things about you. Addicted to alcohol, never leaving that shabby Mav bar. Ignoring the pleas of your people to help them with their issues. A disappointment. Just a few of the complaints.”
Hongjoong doesn’t seem phased by his words, shrugging. “I’ve been called many things. A drunk is seemingly minor in comparison to everything else.” He stretches out his neck. “Nevertheless, I could care less frankly, about your human problems. We have bigger issues to handle, yes?” he glances at Yunho. “Yunho has told me that you’ve threatened to terminate our colony because there is no clear leader in sight, and the one that humans acknowledge has yet to appear. So, here I am,” he gestures to himself, spinning slowly on his heels. Yunho doesn’t bother hiding his dismay of Hongjoong’s gestures. It would poke anyone in charge, the lack of respect and dignity. You’ve known Chan for a while, and he hates to be made a fool.
You look at Chan, his jaw clenched as he watches Hongjoong spin. You tug Jongho closer to you as he’s distracted with the leader’s antics, pulling him into the corner with Wooyoung. Said Mavian watches the both of you, nodding at you lightly as you look at him. You don’t have to say the words and you thank him for that, Wooyoung motioning to Mingi to stand on the opposite side of Jongho.
Now that you have your brother, nothing is tying you to the surface. To Chan. Not even your parents, who you’re a bit curious about. But that’s a later worry. Now, you stand there as Hongjoong, Yunho, and Chan speak.
“We just needed confirmation that you’re alive and well. I can see that you’re alive. But well,” Chan laughs. “You’re but a fool. I’ll have to discuss this with my superiors to see how we should handle this situation. As I can see from your words and actions, you don’t take your role seriously.”
Hongjoong’s carefree smile slips away insanity, his expression hardened. “You’re only a henchman in the scheme of things. I have no need of trying to convince you how good of a leader I am. And neither does Yunho. Are you afraid that because I don’t kiss your ass, you can hold anything against us? We aren’t afraid of humans, Commander. The opposite, in fact.” He chuckles dryly, rocking on his heels. “You’ve forced a population of caring Mav underground, beneath millions of humans that reside just above. Did you expect us to just follow every rule that you’ve laid out? To wallow in our sorrows for centuries until the last of us breathe our dying breath on this wasteland you call Mavian territory? Are you that naïve? That dim?”
“Hongjoong, please mind your words,” Yunho says quickly, eyes flicking to Chan. “I apologize for his insults. He wasn't ill-minded, just worried for the survival of our people. That is all.”
“He isn’t sorry for his words, Yunho. No need to apologize for him,” Chan moves forward, their eyes leveling with one another’s. “Is that a threat, Captain?”
“Not a threat, Commander. A promise. We don’t take kindly to you attacking one of ours, you see. We promised peace, unless there is a breach of trust,” Hongjoong’s eyes flick to yours. “Yes, I’ve been in the dark on several important events recently. But I am anything but a fool. I just have a question for you. Why would you raise an arrow to a woman that you’re engaged to?” He raises a brow.
Chan raises his brows, eyes in shock. “Why would I do such a thing?”
“Don’t feign innocence, Chan,” San says. “We caught the Mavian who attempted to kill our Peacemaker. One thing we Mavian do is tell secrets. We know that you hired a small group to come and attack the manor. Unfortunately, you underestimated our abilities. So you’ve either made a mistake, or you want us to find the arrow that has your last name carved into its stem.” San holds up the arrow that injured Seonghwa and yourself, balancing it between your fingers.
Jongho hasn’t said much since he was silenced, but you can hear a low breath fall from his lips. You clench your fists, holding in your anger. San looks back at you, nodding slightly. You know that your Fates can feel how you feel. It’s an invasion of privacy at times but right now, it calms you a bit. Knowing that at least four Mavian in the room could tell how all of this is putting you on edge.
“I don’t have time to be put on trial by any of you. If any of your fingers touch my skin in the slightest, the military will swarm this manor and kill every Mavian inside. And I’m sure you care more about your people than a silly human that I’ve planted to spy on you all for me,” his gaze moves to you. “It’s time to go, peacemaker. You’ve spent plenty of time down here, entertaining these creatures. You’ll be much safer where your kind are.”
You don’t move, even as Chan takes a step to you.
“I told you Chan. I would only go with you if I wanted. But I don’t want to, okay? You gave me that choice.”
Seonghwa has somehow made it across the room, his hand resting on his cloaked knife strapped to his thigh. Chan scoffs, eyes moving between you and him. “Have you threatened her? Touched her and put one of your silly spells on her so that she trusts you?”
"We wouldn't lay a hand on her if she didn't desire it," Seonghwa says, eyes narrowing. "What other lies have you been telling? She does not want you, Commander. She has chosen to stay here with us."
"With Mavian? You disgusting parasites seem to only burden us. Why would she want to stay here?" Chan notices the way you move closer to Seonghwa, your hand wrapped around his sleeve. As if you're stopping him from moving further. "Oh? Have you already sullied her? Were you so in need of a female mate that you fucked the first one you saw?"
A low rumble from the opposite side of the room makes you turn. San’s eyes are narrowed into slits as he stares at Chan. “Speak of her with respect, Commander.”
“Respect? Respect?” He laughs dryly. “She’s barely out of the slums. Only takes showers when she can, feeds on scraps left from the brothels she worked at. Why would a commander like myself even give her the least bit of respect?”
“As San has said, watch your words commander,” this time, Yunho speaks up. He’s not one to project his feelings but you can see how his eyes burn amber, his anger barely coming to the surface. “You’ve placed her in our care. She is a part of this manor, and we all treat each other with care and kindness. If she desires to stay behind, then we should accept those wishes.”
Chan shrugs, hands slowly reaching for his cellphone. He presses the first number on the speed dial, placing it on speaker.
“Weapons on stand-by. Fire on my command.”
“Chan, what are you doing?” You say, stepping forward. Seonghwa holds you back, his glare frightening. “Stop this, just stop.”
“Stop what? I told you before Lady. I get things that I want. If I have to take extreme measures to do so, then I must.”
“You can’t do all of this over me–!”
“But I can,” he says simply. “I told you I will have you. And why wouldn’t I kill them? They touched you without your permission, their rebel groups almost killed you. You were barely standing when I got here. I brought Jongho here, thinking that they’d take pity on you, seeing you reunite with your brother. But instead, you surrounded me with your whole main clan. Even bringing the former leader to threaten me into submission. What else could I do but kill them all to prevent their ideals from reaching other Mav? Their deaths would be justified. I wouldn’t be suspected of anything but desperation and a need to help another human. I would be rewarded for stopping another Mavian invasion. Everyone will worship the ground I walk on,” his smile grew wide as he talked, eerie against his face as he stared at you, his eyes wild. “And I will have you at my side.”
“You’re deranged,” Mingi lets out, eyebrows furrowed. His lips form into a straight line. “You are completely out of your mind.”
“Am I?” Chan purses his lips. “Why don’t we see how deranged I can get?” He glances down at his phone, “Arm weaponry. Aim on the count of three. Fire when commanded.”
“Stop this Chan!” You cry out. “We can figure this out.”
“Three,” he starts, a smile still on his lips.
“Two…” he drags it out a bit, reveling in it. “One…”
“I’ll go with you!” You finally say.
“Disengage,” Chan says finally, “I’ll call you back if needed.” he ends the call, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He laughs loudly, pushing his hair away from his face. “Now that was easy, wasn’t it?”
“You can’t go with him,” Seonghwa hisses, staring down at you. Completely disregarding Chan standing on the opposite side of the room. “Are you the one we should be worried about? You must be mad if you think that we’d just give you to him.”
“You said it was my choice, Hwa,” you let the nickname slip. It doesn’t phase him, his eyes still sharp as they meet yours. “And this is my choice. I’ll go with him. I’m not going to let any of you die just because I want to be here. That’ll be selfish of me, won't it?”
“Please reconsider,” Mingi says softly from behind you. “We… you’ve become a pivotal part of our lives, Lady. Seeing you in a place you will suffer will only torment us all.”
“It seems like you need to have a family meeting yes?” Chan interrupts, wiggling his brows at you. Your saddened expression has no effect on him as he sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I suppose I should be kind enough for you to stay for another night. I’ll be here at dawn to pick you up. Don’t be late,” his carefree gaze disappears. “We wouldn’t want anything happening to your favorite Mavians because of a simple mistake. See you soon.” He leaves, no one following him out. All of their gazes are on you as the door shuts behind Chan. Wooyoung is the only one to watch from the window as Chan gets into his car, leaving the property.
Surprisingly, Seonghwa doesn’t move from his stare down. You ignore him, rubbing your face. You have one more night here. One more night where things aren’t too bad. At least your brother is fine. Chan kept his promise, Jongho is safe.
“Why does he want me so badly?” you mumble to yourself.
“y/n what’s going on!” Jongho says, grabbing your arm. “Chan told me that you two were to be married. I've already moved our things – which wasn't much anyway, into his home. And that all we need is you," he glances at Mingi staring him down.
"I've never agreed to marrying him, Jongho. I told him I'd think about it. I never told him yes."
He shakes his head. "But he said they hurt you–"
You frown, furious. "They've never touched me in a way I didn't want them to. He's been manipulating you to get to me. I–" you close your eyes, trying your best to calm your anger. It's not enough though, the flames seeming to burn through your body, ignite even further. “I want to kill him.”
“Then we kill him,” Yeosang speaks up, his deep timber still soft. “When he comes for you tomorrow morning, we strike him dead. It is as simple as that.”
“That’s too big of a risk,” Yunho sighs loudly, glancing at Hongjoong. “Our leader here might have set him off just a bit, but I have a strong feeling that Chan was going to threaten all of us anyway. He must have suspected that you didn’t want to come to him. He has the advantage at this point. He has the weaponry to wipe out our manor with the snap of his fingers. There’s little we can do.”
“I told you, I’m going with him,” you insist.
“You’re not going with him,” San says again. “I told you that already. Stop saying that.”
“What do you expect me to do then San? Sit here on my ass and let you all die because I’m being selfish?”
“Then be selfish! Be selfish for one moment in your life!” Seonghwa shouts at you. Mingi stands, moving closer to you. He meets his gaze, and Seonghwa only frowns. “I’m not going to hurt her, Mingi.”
“Lower your tone,” Mingi says simply. Seonghwa swallows harshly, glaring at your for another moment before turning on his heel, stomping out the room. The door swings harshly, Hongjoong moving out the way and narrowly missing the wood. It rattles against the painting sitting on the wall, the glass encasement shattering. You jump, Jongho gripping your hand and pulling you closer to him.
“He’s just upset, we have to give him time,” Yunho says. “Right now… I don’t think we have a choice. Lady, I’m sorry that you’re being put into this position of having to choose. If it was in our favor, I would have killed him without so much as a thought. But there’s a bigger picture here. You do understand that, right?” There’s something in between his words as he looks at you. You’re not sure if he’ll ever bring up the connection you two have, almost dismissing it when you entered. But you can see it now in his eyes. His gaze deep with melancholy. “Before we leave, I’ll try my best to save you from your fate.”
“When I leave…” you start, looking down at your brother. No matter how much time has past, you can only see the little kid you took care of since you could talk. The wide, innocent eyes, previously free from the horrors of the real world. They’re hardened now, stained with losing his childhood too soon. Above all, everything you’ve done was to make sure he was safe. “When I leave, protect him. Make sure he’s not targeted or hurt in anyway.”
He laughs dryly. “I’m not leaving your side, I’m not letting you go through this alone. Fuck no.”
“Hey,” you nudge him. “You’re old enough to separate from me. It was your birthday a few days ago, wasn’t it? You’re 18. You don’t need me next to you every second, you know.”
“You’re contradicting yourself. I’m old enough to leave your side but not old enough to make a decision on my own? I’m not a fucking kid, y/n!” His hands tighten into fists, but he takes a breath. “I’ve been away from you for over two months. Two months without a word from you. Nothing. I thought that you might have died, or worse.” He looks down at you, eyebrows twitching. Preventing himself from crumbling in front of you. “But I listened to every word you told me. I read your letter you left under my pillow, and after a month I left our home. I told our parents that I won’t be coming back, but they were too drunk to even care. You know they didn’t even ask what happened to you? Not one word.”
“You know how they are,” you say softly, and he nods.
“I do. But if I knew you were going to go out there and sacrifice yourself to a man who doesn’t have enough balls to get someone who actually wants him, instead of forcing himself on a woman he hasn’t seen in years…” He shakes his head. “I’m not leaving your side again, y/n. I didn’t even want you to come down here,” he gestures to the men around you. His expression softens slightly. “But from what I can see, they were taking care of you. I haven’t seen you look this healthy in a long time,” he admits. “You really think it’s a good idea to go to Chan now?”
“No,” Wooyoung interrupts, “Sorry to break this up, but it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. And ingenious,” his grin widens. “Convince the human that you want him, and then kill him. The perfect crime. Mavians won’t be at fault for it, and you can come back down here once you’ve assassinated him. We are going to leave this planet in the next few days, anyway,” he shrugs.
“Way to tell her the plan,” Hongjoong frowns. “Isn’t this too much fuss over one human? Why do you all care so much?” He looks in each of your faces, stopping on San. His eyes narrow slightly, glancing between you and him. “Unless…”
“It’s none of your concern, Hongjoong,” Mingi says sharply. “I agree with Wooyoung. Maybe not so much in the killing part, but there must be a way for you to get away from him. We need to come up with a plan.”
“When you do, let me know,” you tug on your brother’s hand, pulling him with you. “Right now, I want to bring my brother to the room he’ll be sleeping in while I’m gone.”
You brush past San, ignoring the shivers that roll through you when your skin touches. Jongho looks at the rest in confusion, the door slamming behind you. You pull him through the hallways, and into your room, shutting the door lightly. Your gaze meets his, relaxing.
“Are they always that tense?” He asks, and you shake your head.
“No, they’re not. Just when it comes to important decisions. You’ll like them, Jongho. They’re all kind. Even Wooyoung, just don’t fall for his tricks.” You sit on the edge of your bed. Jongho slowly sits at the small table just across, glancing around the area. It reminds you of when you first got here, your eyes full of awe. His eyes are wider, wonder in his gaze. They finally flick to yours, expression resolute.
“Will you come back for me?” he asks. There’s so many questions in that one, so many things to say and not to say.
You look down at the floor, “I don’t know if I’ll be coming back this time, Jongho.” It’s hard to admit. You don’t know what Chan’s plans are when you arrive, if he’s really this obsessed with being with you, or if there’s an underlying plan. You don’t know what happens when you leave this manor behind, or if you’ll ever see any of them again. There’s a lot you’ll be abandoning. Perhaps listening to Yeosang’s advice in the beginning could have made all of this less hard than it is. “I don’t know.” you repeat softly.
“Will you try?” he asks. “I don’t want to be in a safe place when you’re not, y/n. You’re my sister, you’re…” he struggles. “You’re my only family. You are what our parents weren’t. I know it’s not what you asked for, and I’m sorry for being a burden on you. And you’re never selfish in your wants so I don’t want to ask you this. But I want you with me. I want you to be safe with me. We’re supposed to be together until the end,” he says simply. You walk over without hesitation, wrapping your arms around his head and pressing it into your torso. He holds you tight, fingers digging into your shirt. “Promise me that you’ll at least try for me.”
“I’m going to try my best to come back to you,” you promise, voice cracking. “Fucking hell, Jongho. Why were we giving the short end of the stick?”
He laughs, this time genuine. “You must have tripped someone by accident and they put a curse on you. Everything that has the potential to go wrong does,” he pulls away slightly, pursuing his lips. “But what’s with you and the Mavians here?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he lets go completely, glancing at the door. “You already have the commander obsessed with you. Why are most of them a little into you?” He raises his brow. “Did you flirt with them so they won’t hurt you?”
“The dirty tango?”
You hit him lightly and he laughs, pushing you back. “What! I’m your brother, of course I’d notice these things.”
“What happened to them?” you asked after the laughter subsided. He sighs softly.
“They got themselves in deep shit. Debt that I couldn’t possibly pull them out of. I left them behind y/n. I know that it wasn’t the best decision to make, but I wouldn’t have been able to help all by myself. We tried all our lives and have barely been making a dent in their loans. I couldn’t handle it after dad came after me and begged for something. I just…” he frowns. “That was when I listened to your advice and left. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect them like you did. I tried, I really did.”
“I know,” you ruffle his hair, “There’s nothing you could’ve done. I would’ve probably done the same thing like you. We’ve been protecting them all our lives, Jongho. I know we appreciated what they tried to do, but it didn’t work. They needed to learn how to take care of themselves. We have lives to live. They already had their chance. It’s okay to feel bad, but don’t let yourself get lost in it. You have me. And I’m going to fight to get back to you.”
He smiles softly. “That’s all I wanted.”
You let Mingi show Jongho around the manor shortly after that, said Mavian telling you that Yunho wants to see you alone. You’ve been agonizing over the thought of being alone with him. You know nothing about Yunho; he only shows you what he wants to. The others must have scattered soon after you left though, not one trace of any of them in the hallways. You’re a bit glad about that, at least. You already have other things to deal with than somehow stumbling into another one of them.
You knock on his office door, entering. He sits at his desk, a quick glance at you letting you know it was okay to go inside. You close the door behind you, sitting at one of two chairs in front of his desk. He tsks at documents in front of him, not saying anything to you. Almost fifteen minutes go past like this, not one word uttered from either of you. Finally, you decide to break the tension, speaking.
“Haven’t you been a bit harsh on him?” You ask, Yunho hesitating in his writing. “Hongjoong, I mean. I know that you have a history I have yet to find out–”
“I’m glad that you know. That should stop you from saying what you’re going to add next, then,” Yunho interrupts you, continuing to sign his signature on paperwork. You go silent, only the sound of him flipping through paper after paper, stack after stack. He glances at you for a quick second. “Is that all?”
“Why? Should I say anything else? Because it seems like every time someone tries to speak to you, you dismiss their concerns and input your opinion before hearing everything else.”
His lip quirks slightly. “Is that what you believe?”
“It’s what I’ve witnessed, Jeong Yunho.”
He finally stops writing, and meets your gaze. He’s always been cheerful in his appearance, his real emotions hidden from you. Even now, as he stares at you. “Then tell me y/n, this miraculous conclusion that you’ve come up with, seeing me interact with the other’s for less than two months.”
“That you’re an amazing leader, with talents that supersede any other people I’ve come across. But you’re insensitive, arrogant, and an asshole,” you say. He scoffs, about to speak but you continue. “And you consistently interrupt every single person that speaks to you. You place your unwanted and frankly, offensive, opinions on us and expect us to just fall in line because you’re the leader of this clan. Sure, you listen once every blue moon. But most of the time you don’t. Even right now, you brought me into this office of yours because you wanted to see me and you haven’t said anything to me! I don’t understand you.”
“I was going to speak to you after finishing my paperwork,” he says. If you could reach over and shake sense into him, you would.
“Then maybe call me to your office when you’re not busy ignoring me?” you suggest, scoffing. “The Fates definitely like to play games.”
“The Fates are never wrong,” Yunho says strongly. “It’s not something we can choose, y/n. And they don’t make decisions just to stir up drama. You’re Fated to several of us for a reason. You’re an important person in our lives, whether you like it or not.”
“There you go again!” You say, throwing your hands up in the air. “How about some compassion, Yunho? Of course I don’t want this, especially with someone like you, or Yeosang, or--”
You stop moving. Shit.
He stands, coming around the desk. “Yeosang is one of your Fates? When did you think to mention this? Were you ever going to?”
You roll your eyes, “No. I wasn’t. Yeosang can do whatever he wants. Like he’s said before, I’m leaving soon anyway. There was no need to tell any of you because it is none of your business. Why did you bring me into this office, Yunho?” You try to push away the revelation that you suddenly sprouted onto him. He rubs his chin, leaning against his desk.
“I thought that if you were in my presence, I would feel something that tied us together. And I am correct, I do,” he looks at you. “I can feel your frustration toward me. You might not be able to feel much since you’re a human, but I can feel your emotions. I thought that I was angry at Chan, furious even when he was here, but it was a combination of your emotion and mine. All of this is odd,” he says softly. “But that has to be put on the back burner. Do you really believe that I have a lack of empathy?” his eyes meet yours. The flower tattoo; a small reminder of his position in the clan. Before knowing him you were afraid of his presence, but staying here for so long, getting comfortable, allows you to speak your mind freely.
“I think you have empathy, but you don’t know how to show it,” you say. “You have compassion, Yunho. I can see it in you. But you don’t listen to our feelings when we speak to you directly. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve seen you acknowledge what’s being said to you. When you spoke with Seonghwa, you ignored what he was telling you. He was basically laying it out for you, but you pushed him away. Like you do with me. Like San, like everyone you come across.”
“I understand,” he says softly. You see a slight break in his expression. “I don’t trust Hongjoong for several reasons, y/n. But I have distrusted him so long I don’t pay attention to the small improvements. Although his wording was harsh to Chan, I could see how it helped. Chan knows what we’re capable of, and that makes him afraid. Taking away you, someone we care about, may be a big part of him trying to break us apart. The meeting didn’t go exactly as I planned, but I am grateful for what I witnessed.”
He moves off the desk, a small smile on his lips. “It’s hard for someone in my position to tell my true feelings. At the forefront of my thoughts is the survival of our people. I haven’t taken time to cultivate personal relationships with everyone because I am too busy leading them. I may not be the Mav that you dreamed of being Fated to, not that you dreamed of it at all, but I do understand your concerns and try to improve. Being stoic towards our people will only push them further away from me. I am…” he hesitates. “I just didn’t want to turn into Hongjoong. I didn’t want the grief of losing 90% of our population to weigh on me like it has him. But going about it this way will not change anything.”
“Thank you for saying that. It’s not often people admit when they aren’t in the right.”
He smiles at you, “You’re definitely correct about that, peacemaker.”
“No need to call me that anymore,” you wave him off. “You’ve heard my name. My brother let it slip without thinking twice about it.”
“That he did,” he agrees, “But you still are our first and only peacemaker. Nothing will change that, not even the meddling of a pompous commander who thinks he’s above it all. I didn’t want to say it in front of the others but,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll let you make the decision on whether you want to stay or go. But you know from Seonghwa. If something were to happen to you, we’d all feel it. It will be unbearable and painful, but we will survive it.”
“I don’t want you to just survive it,” you say. “Surviving isn’t living, not really.”
“Then that is too high of an order,” he says simply. “I have yet to feel the impact of you, but I will certainly if anything happens to you. Not as terrible as San, but I will feel it. You just have to make sure you make it back okay.” He smiles lightly. “At least in one stable piece. We will be there to help with the rest.”
You close the door behind you, closing your eyes for a brief moment. This was your decision. You know it’s for the greater good. To protect all of the Mavians and your brother. If kissing the ass of someone like Chan can keep them safe a little longer, at least long enough for them to leave the planet, then you’d do it. But you’ll try your best to get out of it quickly, for your brother’s sake.
For everyone’s sake.
Yunho mentioned giving Hongjoong a few letters since you’re passing by his room. You’d rather not, if you’re being honest, but it would be quick. Just in and out, giving him the stack you couldn’t read because it was written in Mavian (although, even in your language you’re barely able to understand it). You notice the absence of caretakers in the hallways; they evacuated everyone once Chan left, leaving only the main figures in the household. The house was quiet before, but you knew there were Mavians behind the scenes that made the house function daily. The quiet now only saddened you.
You knock on Hongjoong’s door lightly.
“Come in dear peacemaker,” his pitch was high. You braced yourself for the trauma that might’ve awaited you behind the door, swinging it open quickly. He sat on the bed, shirt lifted up slightly. You expected to see more markings on his skin, but these cover every surface you see, several different shapes meshed together. From far away, it’d look like he had a blackout tattoo. But as you moved closer, you could see the small markings. You’re sure if you stared hard enough, you’d spot familiar flowers.
“Like what you see?” He wiggles his brows. He chuckles lightly when you glance away. “Just kidding with you. Stare all you want.” He winces slightly, a bandage between his teeth as he cleans off a cut on his stomach. He’s good at hiding it; it looks deep, blood staining the sheets underneath him.
“Why do you have so many tattoos?” Letting the intrusive thoughts win. “Yunho has the leadership tattoos underneath his eye, but you’re completely covered with them.”
“It’s my people. Each and every one marks someone in our clan who’s alive and well. That’s why there’s hundreds of markings. Being a clan leader makes me carry the blessing of having every Mavian marking etched into my skin. Although, there is a small curse to it,” he murmurs, slowly pressing the bandage to his skin. “Each time a Mavian dies, I feel the pain of their death. It’s unbearable.”
“Is that…” You start, gesturing to the wound. He nods solemnly.
“It is. Hanse was a good one indeed. Gathered information without thinking twice about it, didn’t care about the risks. Unfortunately, he paid the price with his life,” he runs his finger along the cut. “They stabbed him.”
“How can you function, feeling everything they feel?” you ask.
He raises his brow at you, “Do you believe I’m functioning?”
You glance behind him, seeing bottles of liquor lining the window sill. You don’t have anything to say to that. “Yunho isn’t the leader yet, that’s why he’s not covered like you are. But what if you relinquished your role and gave it to him?” You told yourself you would just drop off the papers and leave, but you needed to know more. Maybe something would persuade Chan for a second before you killed him.
He furrows his brows, “No one has ever stepped down from leading out people. It is an honor. But in the case of me giving my role to him, maybe I’ll die, who knows.” He shrugs. “Better off than me leading our people into ruin again.”
“I don’t think you’ll lead them to ruin,” you say softly. “No one alive has felt the pain you feel. I can tell you love your people.”
He grunts, shaking his head. “You don’t even know me, little one. You weren’t there when I arrived on this planet, leading our people to doom. How can you judge someone you’ve barely known for two days, hm?” His lips curve into a light smile. “That’s a bit foolish of you.”
“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have defended them so fiercely when Chan was here. You wouldn’t have come in the first place,” you point out.
“Ah, if only every human thought like you,” Hongjoong pushes his hair off his forehead, throwing himself back on his bed. “Maybe we would have been able to live in peace and harmony, as they say. A question for you, since you’ve been bombarding me with them.” His head flops to the side, eyes barely seen through his overgrown bangs. “Why are you so kind to me? I am sure Seonghwa must have insulted me each chance he got. Everyone else has, really. But not you,” his playful smile slips slightly. “Why are you kind?”
"I am kind to you because I know how cruel feels, Captain."
His lip curves slightly, “I can tell. Those eyes of yours have seen cruelty that no being should bear. It feels as if I’m looking into the reflection of myself. Only a pitiful, human version. I have a bit of advice for you, little one,” he swallows lightly. “Cherish your friendships with my people. Take care of them. Don’t let their harsh words get to you. The looks on their faces when you said you were going to San… It was like I was watching them a hundred years ago. Being told that we have to leave our planet. Their care for you is endless. Do make sure you come back in one piece.”
He pouts, “Or else I’ll go topside and drag you back myself.” His eyes flick to the paperwork you left on the side table. “Now would you be a darling and pass me that?”
You wake up in a sweat, your back burning. You try to hold back your screams, your fingers digging into your sheets as you feel a deep knife carving into the skin above your spine. Out of desperation, your hand trembles as it reaches for the side lamp, tipping it over. The crash echoes into the night and you gasp, feeling the blood soaking the blanket you're underneath. The door immediately slams open, a guard coming in unprompted. His eyes move to you immediately, widening once he sees the condition you're in.
"Move!" Several more steps come inside, your vision blurring as you begin to scream. Your body writhes in bed as San tries to hold it still, your tears hot against your skin. You can't say a word, the pain too overwhelming to bear. Your ears throb as he speaks to you. Jongho comes in after him. You don’t have the words to tell them anything, to insist that they not worry.
“Hey! Hey listen to me Bug, what’s going on?” His voice is terrified, hands shaking as he holds you in his arms. His touch feels scorching, each finger imprinting itself into your skin. You can’t tell him to let go, the pain unbearable to speak through. You turn to another, eyes begging for them to stop him. Your eyesight is flooded with tears, too blurry for you to make out who it is.
"Release her body!" You hear the familiar voice of Seonghwa, his frame slamming into San's, forcing him to let you go. Seonghwa almost reaches out but hesitates, pulling his hand back. "She was wincing in pain when you were touching her."
"What's going on?!" San's voice is panicked as he looks at you. "She can't move!"
"Stop yelling and think this through, San. I already called Wooyoung. He should be here promptly."
The pain is overwhelming, spreading through your body. You don’t get the chance to reassure them, passing out on the mattress.
"We should have known this was going to happen. She should have been sent away in the beginning so we didn't have to see her like this," Yeosang's voice whispers, almost low enough so you wouldn't hear. Almost.
"Not now. After she's okay we'll talk about it. Not now, Yeo," you can hear how his voice pleads, and you want to reach out and comfort him. You hate hearing San's worried voice. Whatever it is, whatever you're going through, you're sure it's an easy fix. As you regain consciousness their voices fade, the heavy weight against your back making you breath heavily.
"Be careful, you don't want to irritate your skin," San says. You feel his hands on your arms, holding you lightly. You open your eyes slowly. His eyes are swollen from crying, blood red as they stare at you. His smile is strained, dimple barely seen. He's trying his best not to make you worry, but it's no use. You place both of your hands on the mattress, shakily lifting your body up. The burning on your back is still there, just not as severe as before. You try shaking away the feeling, but it remains. A dull ache.
"Did someone try to kill me again?" You half joke, looking at him. He shakes his head.
"No. You've been in this bed for a while, want to freshen up? "
"Are you saying I stink?" You chuckle dryly, wincing. His irises shake, biting his lip. "Don't look at me like that, San. There's no need to pity me.” You think to your brother, the worried look on his face painful. “Where’s Jongho?”
"Mingi has him, Bug. He’s fine, we just let him walk for a bit to get some air. And it's not pity, it's fear. I worry for you. Too many times are happening all at once, and there's little I can do to stop it. I'm powerless," he confesses. "Utterly powerless."
Shock crosses his face.
"I'm serious. Shut up," you move your leg, reminded of the arrow wound. You cuss, grinding your teeth together. "Fuck me," your voice shakes.
"I can try to bathe you here–"
"No, no. I'm fine." You wave him home. He still helps you stand anyway, taking most of the weight on him as he basically carries you to the bathroom. He kicks the door open with ease, placing you lightly on the toilet. He stands there for a moment, staring at you. "San, I can pee on my own."
"I know," you notice his gaze flick to the only window in the room. He's worried that someone is going to attack again. Your chest tightens.
"I'll be fine," you say. "No one is going to kill me in here. I'm sure all of you have secured the manor already."
"We did, you're right. I'm being silly."
"No, you're being safe. Thank you San. I'll yell for you if I need anything, really. No hesitation. A real promise."
He hesitates, then nods. "Okay, l’ll wait outside."
He shuts the door behind him and you shakily stand, locking it softly. Your eyes flick to you in the mirror. The eyebags are deep, drooping into your cheeks. Your cheekbones look almost hollow, eyes red as you stare at yourself. You turn around, reaching with trembling hands to lift up your shirt. Just above your waist on your back, you can see the start of what looks like plants carved into your back. Your fingers brush against a lower one, hissing slightly. It's a fresh wound. The dull ache is replaced by your sting of pain.
This is what made you pass out. This carving into your spine. You lift your shirt up further, the flowers resting with only an inch in between them. You swallow slowly, tears falling down your cheeks as the pain slowly comes back. You know where these are from. You've seen a few of them already. At the bottom rests the one that Yeosang has tattooed on the left side of his hip bone. And just above that is San's lotus.
You drop your shirt back down, lightly touching each flower that's on your spine, counting softly. Seven. Seven flowers.
You have to leave. Now.
Your body protests silently as you make your way to the window, unlocking and lifting it up slowly. It barely makes a sound, only a light creak echoing into the late night. You grind your teeth as you climb through, pushing it down slowly. There's only a matter of minutes before San realizes that you're gone. Not only from the silence in the bathroom but your presence being gone. He told you once before that he could feel when you're near. Unfortunately, it isn't the same for you.
You balance yourself on the roof, slowly making your way to the ladder just at the end. Ignoring the pain on your back, you struggle down. You hear a loud slam from the bathroom you came from, San's frantic yells muffled. He noticed too quickly.
You pick up your pace, dropping to the ground. An agonizing pain shoots up your back as you hold on your cries, unable to move from all fours on the ground. This is a stupid idea and you know it, but there's nothing you can do. You can't deal with it anymore. Three was pushing it, but seven? One you don't even know the identity of? Too much is happening at once and you can't control it like you used to. So you don't think of this as running away, but as a short break from them. A chance to figure things out on your own. Maybe leave early to deal with Chan. Anything but this.
Your feet cry out as you speed walk through pebbles, making it only halfway to the front gate when you hear a cough. You stop, slowly turning around to see who it is. Wooyoung stands there, head tilted slightly as he stares at you. The playful look you're used to is nowhere to be found, his eyes dark and expression solemn.
"Where are you going?" He asks simply, tapping his fingers against his sides. "The manor is locked down. If you touched a fence we'd be alerted. If you took one step outside the grounds we'd know. So where are you running off to, love bug?"
"Anywhere but here," you say, grinding your teeth as you attempt to hold yourself steady. "Don't try to make me stay."
He holds his hands up, shaking his head. "I won't. But I'm your caretaker love bug, and you're hurting yourself by exerting more energy than your body can handle right now. You're going to fall unconscious if you continue down this route. Don't you think you've done that enough?" He takes a step toward you and you shake your head, holding your hand out to stop him.
"No, no! Don't come any closer Woo. Don't."
"I'm not going to hurt you," His eyebrows furrow, worried. "You trust me not to hurt you right?"
"I don't want any of this," you say, biting your lower lip to hold in your sobs. "I don't want to do this, Woo. I just want to be normal. I want my brother to be happy and safe. I don't want all of this happening to me. I don't." You're begging him. Hoping he'd understand. Maybe take pity on you and let you run away. But he only moves closer, hands still up in the air. "Stop Wooyoung!"
"You're scared," he says softly.
"You're scared of the unknown. Of what will happen if you accept all of this insanity that's going on. You're scared you wouldn't be able to handle it. You're scared that we're going to run away from you. That we don't care enough for you to deal with this shit that just seems to be endless. A never ending cycle of confusion and surprises."
"Wooyoung," you plead, slowly dropping to your knees. He continues moving closer, now only a foot away. "Help me."
He smiles sincerely, crouching down. He keeps his distance from you, pushing his hair away from his face. "Why don't we just sit here for a while, hm? We don't have to talk." His hand reaches out, brushing against your cheek. He confirms what you already know, the familiar hum of the bond as he strokes your skin with his thumb. You don’t push him away like he expects, leaning into his touch.
“I won’t leave you. Just don’t leave us. Not yet.” He rests his body against the grass. He doesn’t ask, not like the others would. He just pulls you into his chest, cradling your body as he covers you with his own. Cheek resting against your hair, hands wrapped tight around you. “Shh… it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry,” you say through cries, your sobs making your words break. “I’m sorry for everything.”
“I know, y/n,” he murmurs. “But I’m here. You don’t have to run anymore. I know it hurts. Just don’t run anymore, okay?” His voice shakes as he speaks, hands shaking as they hold you. “If we can’t figure this out tonight, we have tomorrow, alright?”
He looks down at you, fingers brushing away your tears. “We always have tomorrow.”
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