Junior: *uses Jake’s toothbrush to knock down a spiderweb*
Devon: Why?!
Junior: Well, I wasn’t going to use mine.
Devon: It's okay to ask for help.
Lexy: You are not a burden.
Junior: Murder is okay.
Jake: Your feelings matter.
Jake, texting Lexy: DEVON IS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME AND HE ROLLED OVER AND WAS FEELING AROUND THE BED SO I STUCK MY HAND OUT AND HE GRABBED IT AND HES HOLDING MY HAND WHILE SLEEPING HES SO CUTE FUUCK-
Devon: Didn't you die?!
Junior: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.
I can’t help but get the feeling they would make a good couple.
Lexy: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?
Junior: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and short-sighted.
Devon: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or short-sighted. It is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that the rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other.
Jake: Mercutio is gay.
Lexy: Which country has the most birds?
Junior: Portu-geese!
Lexy: That's a language.
Junior: Portu-gull?
Lexy: Good recovery.
Jake: I think you mean good re-dovery.
Devon: TURKEY. HOW DID YOU MISS TURKEY?
Devon: How high are you?
Junior: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.
Lexy: No, he’s asking what drugs are you on.
Junior: Oh, Jake's antidepressants, why?
Jake: YOU ATE MY WHAT?!
Junior: With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Devon: Please tell me you're not on the roof again.
Lexy: Devon, I know you love Jake. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and we respect him immensely.
Junior: But we think he might be a fucking idiot.
Devon: The fire extinguisher's under the sink.
Lexy: Ooh, that looks fun.
Junior: Bet we can use that to annoy Jake.
Devon: It's for fires only.
Lexy: But Devon, what if-?
Devon: And don't you even dare start one just so you can use it!
Junior: *whispers to Lexy* It's like he could read our minds.
Jake: I sent Junior a "Get better soon" card.
Devon: Did something happen?
Jake: No, I just think he could do better.
Devon: Get plenty of rest. We head out at noon.
Junior: Noon? That's so early.
Devon: Fine, how about one o'clock?
Jake: One? Come on, Dev!
Devon: Fine! We leave at the crack of 2:30. Lazy butts.
Junior: Christ, I'm gonna have to set my alarm.
Junior: *speaking to the core 4* I suppose I have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.
Devon: *whispering to the others* Slight?
Lexy: *whispering back* A bit?
Jake: *loudly* Tendency?
