me handshake homura akemi

I think I'm going to die.

Fade away into the emptiness,

Cover myself with the cold darkness.

I have nothing left inside.

Oh no I wanna be in love so bad! When will it be my turn!

Yes, on that day, three of the world’s four superpowers decided to hit pause on their violent occupation of Japan because they hated America more

Getting over the idea of what could've been is hard

I hate myself

Really.

I find s*x acts, pictures, videos or descriptions disgusting. Does that mean I think you are disgusting for watching p*rn or having s*x? No, of course not.

But due to my mental illness I become what's called hypers*xual, which means I act out recklessly. People who do this should not be enabled, it's like having s*x with a drunk passed out girl. It's Part of my s*x addiction. Not everyone who experiences hypers*xuality is an addict, but that's definitely where it can lead.

It's very hard due to my past trauma and mental illness to know what I truly want. I consider myself ace because I don't have a normal relationship with s*x. I'm in that spectrum. Do I act out in a s*xual way now? No. I no longer engage in that behavior. I am married to my darling. But sometimes it's hard to think of myself as a good person, or a clean unsinful person. My honest opinion is I think I'm trashy.

Due to my mental illness people saying " oh ur not" will not change my opinion. I have a concrete delusion that has solidified in my brain due to abuse and neglect. I am in thearpy, but that's me being honest.

Im here, I'm trying, I'm valid without giving you bullshit fake positivity.

-echo

I may be toxic and emotionally abusive at times. But I never yell. I never scream in his face. I never put my finger up at him. I've never laid a hand on him. He has.

here to remind you that;

If you have bpd, you are not abusive.

If you have bpd, you are not manipulative.

If you have bpd, you are not a bad person.

If you have bpd, you are not a yandere.

your thoughts and feelings do not define you. your disorder does not define you. you're not dangerous and you're not a terrible, abusive monster. you're safe here.

FESTA

I don’t want to be here. Everyone hurts me all of the fucking time. I’m so sick of being hurt. So sick of tired of constantly being hurt with no relief. So sick of caring so much about people who destroy me with no remorse. I don’t want to be in a world where that’s reality.

Maybe when my episode is over, I won't want to destroy myself and I'll want to continue to keep trying to recover. I never know what I'll feel one moment to the next. But still, nobody seems to grasp how terrifying that is for Me. Nobody seems to grasp that I didn’t choose this.

Being mentally ill and being in recovery is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. To everyone else it should be so simple, but they don’t live in my head. They don’t know what it’s like to have one bad day and want to throw it all away. They don’t understand how one minor inconvenience feels like my whole world is crumbling or that if a small inconvenience can do that much damage what something that actually hurts my feelings could do.

It’s just been a day. Several of them actually. But I’m here. Still doing what I need to do, holding on for dear life to the only thing I almost feel like I’m doing right.

I’m so sick of the “I care” crowd doing anything but showing they care.

damn what kind of grumpy? 🥀

Like "I over planned my schedule" grumpy.

my mom just said the most hurtiful thing to rn she said "nobody is going to be your friend or love you if you keep being this way" and i started to cry imediatelly because i'm so alone and i know it's true

Trying to fix my flaws...

I have a personality disorder. I'm really trying to improve myself, to get along with everyone easier, to make my life easier. It's very hard and I will never win this war. But if I would manage to fix them all would that be enough for everyone to like me? And the person without the flaws would still be me? During the journey to your best self when do you stop being you?

Hypersexuality is kind of a pain in the ass. You go from having a decent day to suddenly seeing a gif of a messy cumshot and it’s stuck on your mind all week

Hypersexuality is a bit of a pain, yes. the slightest bit of flirting or teasing can turn me on and its so painful, especially if im in public. Its very hard to keep my mind off of those thoughts, and if my mind isnt on those thoughts im either having an episode or something else. hypersexuality is never fun.

TW: Mention of abuse

There has been a lot of claims made about the possibility of Amber Heard having Bipolar Disorder(BD) or Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD). Whether that is true or not you still shouldn't be an apologist for her behavior. People with those disorders need to still be held accountable for any harm caused, because even though they often react upon impulses and be self-destructive, that is no excuse to hurt someone. I have many family members that have been diagnosed with BD, but none of them have EVER laid their hands on anyone. Some have been emotionally abusive, but some have been some of the most understanding people I've ever met. It doesn't matter what disorder someone may have if they cause harm to anyone, then they need to be held accountable. I hope Amber Heard gets the help she needs, but she still needs to be treated like anyone else would be for abusing their partner.

I’m tired of hurting over you.

my darling, i will be yours. you will become obsessed with me, just as i am with you. so why don’t we just skip forward to the point where i carve your name into my thigh and express to you my undying love? my love, i promise you it is a beautiful sight—it’s art in of itself.

Taylor spent so long trying to blend in with people in order to be appealing to potential adoptive families that she has a disconnect to her actual culture. She’s Lebanese, she can speak some Arabic and she likes some traditional Arab food, but otherwise... It makes her sad, that she never got to learn more about her culture, and she feels like it’s too late for her to try