san ✦ rocky (boxers ver.) behind clip
san ✦ rocky (boxers ver.) behind clip
Choi San, the man that you are.
most endearing ♡
Ateez ~ San ‘Rocky (Boxers Ver.)’ Behind Cut
Pls Write angry violent hate sex, that’s hot and also cathartic to write xx
➵ Pairing : San X Fem!Reader
➵ Genre : Smut + Pwp
➵ W.C : 343
➵ Warnings : Hate sex, Heavy degradation, Rough sex, Bruising/Marking, Implied dumbification, Hair pulling, Biting.
➵ A/N: Under 15’s DNI
➵ © 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝟏𝟏𝟏𝟕-𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost or use my work in any way, shape or form.
San rocked his hips up into you, ignoring how your legs shook violently as you tried to stay upright. His grip was firm on your waist, purple bruises inevitable come morning yet he didn’t relent, pulling you onto his cock again and again. San wasn’t worried about your pleasure right now, wasn’t worried about hitting that spot that would send you over the edge. All he cared about was selfishly chasing his own high, using your body to achieve it.
You should hate this right now, be disgusted that he isn’t even acknowledging you as anything more than a cocksleeve, but bloody hell that man was fucking you dumb and you loved every second of it. His tip managed to scrape your sweet spot and you involuntarily clenched, a plethora of curses and moans leaving your parted lips. Your eyes were shut tight and a bright sheen of sweat made your skin glow.
Throwing your head back you arched your back, whimpering when San grabbed your hair in a makeshift ponytail and yanked on it. You clenched around him again and he grunted before speaking, words laced with poison.
”Cock hungry wh-hore. You just- shit- you love Master’s cock, don’t you? You love being a little cumb-bucket for Master, dont you?”
Your brain was so clouded you couldn’t respond, opting to nod and babble nonsense while moaning. I mean who could blame you? San had seemed to pick up the pace while talking. Hissing and tightening his grip on your hair, San pulled you up again. He sank his teeth into your shoulder to muffle a loud moan before sighing in content and talking into your ear.
”Fucking answer me when I talk to you slut.”
You looked at him with teary eyes, cheeks flushed with blood while letting out stutters. You could feel his other hand leave your waist, now on the small of your stomach as San’s thrusts slowed. A whine left your lips but he only rolled his eyes at it.
”You want my cock? Better start fucking talking, bitch.”
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[f] fluff || [s] smut || [a] angst || [sugg] suggestive || [tw] serious trigger warnings
ot8 stand alones / reactions / imagines: ateez as boyfriends: hyung line | maknae line
ot8 multichapter into the aurora - reader x ot8 multi-chapter fic where after getting stranded after a concert you meet the boys and just never leave [f] [s] [sugg] [a] [tw] (AO3 Link) (in progress)
kim hongjoong nothing yet…
park seonghwa nothing yet…
jeong yunho treasure - featuring woo + san. foursome, use of safe word [s] [f] [tw] meeting someone new - a kind stranger helps get a creep away from you at a bar [f] injured-you’re a dancer with kq, but when you fall and seriously injure yourself during practice, yunho reacts and makes your relationship known [a] [f] losing time - the morning yunho leaves for tour, you take comfort in each other [f] [a] [s] together - companion piece to losing time, yunho comes home [f] [a] he knows he loves you - the first 'i love you' imagine with yunho summer nights - college roommate au with yunho, a frustrated couple in quarantine [f] [sugg] [s]
kang yeosang nothing yet…
choi san treasure - featuring woo + yunho. foursome, use of safe word [s] [f] [tw]
song mingi nothing yet…
jung wooyoung treasure - featuring yunho + san. foursome, use of safe word [s] [f] [tw]
choi jongho nothing yet…
ateez hard hours asks and answers
san 🥊 rocky (boxers ver.) behind clip
Hongjoong: Why is San upset?
Yeosang: Because we have wooden floors in our hotel suite and he runs around in cotton socks like there aren't going to be consequences.
나를 감싸줘 my aurora
San Lockscreens 🏔
🥊 rb to save/use
🥊 do Not repost
 Wonderwall ArtLab’s official twitter update:
[ @ATEEZofficial X Wonderwall Edition]
ATEEZ Yunho and San's 8M1T Outfit Photo reveal 🐶🐱
Exclusively at Wonderwall
Ateez Headcanon - How they react when they wake up form a nightmare
Don’t know where this came from but happy friday <3
Hongjoong’s nightmares are about everything and nothing all at once
He wakes up with a jolt but immediately checks on you, to see if he’s woken you up
When you do happen to wake up from a sudden jolt next to you, your hands are already moving towards him
depending on how bad the nightmare was is how he reacts
If it wasn’t the worst, then he’ll curl up into you, head on your chest, and fall asleep to your heartbeat while your fingers trace over his arm
If it was real bad, he’ll cling to you like you’re his last breath
He’ll talk about it if he wants to but more often than not he stays silent
A simple “They’re okay.” and other reassuring words calm him enough
He eventually falls back asleep but def plan for some naps throughout the day
Jolts straight up every time
Takes him a solid to minute to realize he’s awake and not in another nightmare
and to realize your arms are already wrapped around him, placing soft and sleepy kisses to his shoulder
He’ll turn into you immediately
Forcing you both back down as he lays on top of you, peppering your face with kisses till you giggle and call out his name
He does it as a way to thank you, but more so for his own sanity
He can’t still be in a nightmare when your voice puts him at ease
Can count the amount of nightmares he’s had on a single hand
so when he does have one, it’s very shocking for him
poor man wakes up with tears in his eyes because he just doesn’t understand what’s happening
feels bad about it but will always wake you up because he just needs your comfort
will most definitely plan a movie and nap date for the next day to make up for it
He warned you about them when you first started sleeping over
You brushed it off though, thinking it was just like the ones you would have when you were a kid
So needless to say you were very surprised when he started tossing and turning, grumbling under his breath
The kicker was when his hand smacked you across the face
He wakes in an instant when you shout his name and he already knows what happened when he sees you clutching your cheek.
Pulls you into his lap and apologizes profusely, pressing kiss after kiss on your forehead and ignoring his shaking hands
Refuses to go back to sleep after that
Will absolutely spoil you the next day despite your protests
Nightmares are rare for him
But when they happen, they terrify him
He’ll wake with a start and immediately scramble to your side of the bed
Wraps his arms around you as tight as he can and buries his face in whatever part of you is closest
He’ll tell you about it once he’s truly calmed down
Coming to accept the fact that monsters from Men In Black most likely aren’t going to take you away from him
At least not anytime soon
You can always tell when the nightmares will be around before you two go to sleep
Usually Mingi’s had a rough day so you try to ease his anxiety before bed with his favorites
Sometimes it’s a movie, sometimes it’s a massage and sometimes you just run your hands through his hair till he drifts off
Mingi wakes up with a shout and sits up, on rare occasions he’s even jumped out of bed entirely
He’ll panic until he feels your touch, whether it’s him reaching for you or vice versa
It’ll take him a while to fall back asleep but he needs to hold onto you for the rest of the night
Just kind of sits there once he wakes up
If you didn’t wake up with him...
You’re going to wake up now
Throws himself on top of you and hugs you as tight as he can, muttering something about a nightmare
will pester you to not fall back asleep and talk to him
in the sweetest ways though
plants tiny kisses everywhere and whispers things he wanted to tell you throughout the day
you’re still too sleepy to notice that this is his way of calming himself down
100% makes you breakfast in the morning
Wakes up instantly but doesn’t really move
Just kind of processes the whole thing
But then he turns to you
He’ll pull you in, wrapping his arms around you, entangling his legs with yours
anything just to be as close to you as he can
It grounds him
Always able to fall right back asleep as long as he has you there
𝟑 𝐚.𝐦 (𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭)
Word count: 1,7k, smut
Warnings: Dom!San, Sub!Reader, fwb to lovers, unprotected sex, marking, slight degradation (San calls readers slut like once lol).
Authors note: I keep writing for San even though I'm ot8 biased lol. Sorry only San fits this fic perfectly. Enjoy reading loves.
There was a thunderstorm outside. The sky was coloured navy as the outlines of the clouds were still visible. The faint smell of the rain entered your nose when you opened the window of your apartment to get some air in. You had already turned off all your lights, the candles on your nightstand the only form of light in your space besides the lighting that flashed once in a while.
It felt calming, the rain tapping against your window satisfied you as you laid in bed. It was a friday night and you were beyond happy you canceled your plans this evening. These warm rainy nights are one of the things you liked about summer.
However, your relaxation was soon interrupted by a knock on the door. The first thought that came up in you was to not open it. Until there was another knock. You quickly tiptoed towards the door as quietly as you could before looking through the peephole. When you realized who the person was, you opened your door almost immediately.
‘’I missed you’’ He said, stepping inside when you gestured to him to come in.
‘’What are you doing here at 3 a.m, San’’ You replied, confusing lacing your tone before yawning softly.
‘’Were you asleep?’’ He asked, averting his gaze towards your bed only to realize your candles were still on, and he knew you never sleep with them on. Before you could answer, he was already towering over you, pushing you against the door slowly.
You looked up, surprised even though you knew why he was here. Yet, he didn’t text you about him coming over. You were also sure he wasn’t intoxicated, so why would he show up here unannounced.
‘’I wasn’t’’ You mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. He was looking at you in such an intense way, it made your inside turn as you looked up to him, the gap in height becoming obvious by how close he was.
‘’I need you tonight, can I?’’ He uttered, his hand moving towards your waist, pulling you against his form.
‘’I’m all yours, Choi San’’ You whispered, looking up at him with doe eyes.
He picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist before walking over to your bed as he kissed your neck slowly. He sat down with you on top of him, moving his lips up to your mouth to kiss you in the same rhythm, slow and sensual.
His hands lifted your hoodie, the hoodie that smelled so much like you. The same hoodie he used to keep in his apartment just so he could smell your scent when he missed you. He breathed in the same vanilla scent as he kissed your neck, marking and biting so he could show everyone you were all his,
even though he couldn’t actually call you his.
His lips went back to yours, frustration taking over the kiss as his tongue made its way inside your mouth. Your tongues were fighting for dominance as always, just like he always won. You moaned, your hands in his hair as he traced your collarbones before leaning down once again, kissing between the valley of your breasts before retracting his head to take off his white shirt, revealing his toned torso.
He dove back in, kissing the side of your breast, leaving your black bralette on as he squeezed your breasts softly making you whimper softly. Your hands leaving his hair as you traced them from his shoulders to the waistband of his sweatpants, feeling his defined abs in the process. Your fingers went underneath the waistband, making his breath hitch.
‘’You’re the only one that can make me feel like this, baby’’ He whispered, kissing up to your neck as his hands went to your butt, squeezing it before grinding you against his hard length.
‘’I know’’ You replied, grinding down against him before letting out a moan as your hands still rested on his abs.
‘’You make me want to fuck into you, slow and deep’’ He began, bucking his hips up against you before grunting ‘’Then, fuck you fast and hard like my little slut deserves’’ He groaned while your head fell back due to the pleasure of his words and his dick grinding against your burning heat.
‘’I’m gonna cum’’ You whined, moving fast against him as your hands moved back up to his hair, pulling on it.
‘’Not yet, wanna feel you cum around me’’ He replied, turning you around swiftly so he was on top.
He took off his sweatpants and his boxers in one go while you took off your bralette. He was fast to hover over you once again, kissing down your tummy before he took off your gym shorts. He then took your black lace panties between his teeth, pulling them down to your thighs before taking them off with his hands fully.
‘’Want you now, San’’ You whined, the neediness making you want to groan out in frustration as he kept teasing you. Foreplay with San was truly something else. He didn’t even need to actually touch you to get you soaking wet, ready to take him.
‘’Beg for it’’ He replied, still kissing the inside of your thighs. Normally, you would tell him he could fuck off, however now all you wanted was his cock in you so it left you with no choice but to beg for him like he told you to.
‘’Good girl’’ He complied, sliding his tip through your folds without actually entering you as he gathered your wetness around his length before starting to slowly enter you while he kissed you. He bottomed out and you felt yourself clench around him as you felt him deep and intense before he started to move in and out of you slowly, making your toes curl in pleasure.
‘’So tight, so wet for me’’ He groaned out, kissing down your neck while his hips started to slam into you at a faster pace. Your nails were digging into his back, scratching his shoulder blades as you moaned his name over and over. You felt yourself getting close with every deep thrust.
His mouth left your neck to look into your eyes, his heart rapidly beating as you were looking at him with hooded eyes. He moaned out before his hand went down to your clit, rubbing slow circles making your breath hitch, legs shaking as he took one of them, pushing it towards your chest as he hit even deeper in you.
‘’Look at you, fucked out already’’ He chuckled when he felt you clenching around him, indicating you were close to your release.
‘’Mhm, gonna cum’’ Was the only sentence your mind could form as your eyes rolled back while his fingers only sped up, circling your clit as his thrust only got faster. Fuck him and his dancer stamina.
You released around him soon after, back arching against his as he rode you through your high. His hips stuttered, one of his hands next to your head as the other grabbed the headboard, slamming his dick into you repeatedly. The bed was creaking and you were glad you didn’t have any neighbors on this side.
‘’Come for me, show me you’re all mine’’ You whispered in his ear, fingers threading through his hair, pulling it as you clenched around him violently.
He came undone inside of you right after, moaning your name over and over as he drove all of his cum into you. Soon after, he dropped himself next to you as the two of you were breathing hard, recovering from the amazing sex you just had.
‘’I need to go’’ He spoke up after a while, before getting up to put on his clothes again.
‘’Why?’’ You asked, getting up to follow him as you threw on your clothes quickly. ‘’San?’’ You said, grabbing your keys quickly as he already left your apartment. He never left like this, maybe the two of you weren’t in an actual relationship, but he always took care of you since he was your friend after all. Him acting like this didn’t make any sense.
You finally caught up to him outside, the rain hitting both of you as you pulled his arm. He turned around, eyes red.
‘’What happened, are you okay?’’ You asked, your hands cupping his face to get him to look at you. You felt worry grow inside of you, scared something might have made him uncomfortable or anything. ‘’Is it what I said about you being mine? You know i didn’t actually mean it-’’
‘’I love you, Y/n’’ He cut you off, finally looking into your eyes. ‘’I came here tonight to have one last taste of you, to have you in my arms one more night, because i can’t fucking be friends with benefits with someone i actually caught feelings for’’ His voice raised slightly, and you knew he wasn’t angry at you. He was angry at himself, because he never raises his voice at you.
‘’San’’ Your voice was weak as you didn’t know what to say.
‘’Please Y/n, i realized i can't live without you tonight’’ He said, stepping away from you.’’Please tell me to fuck off or something, because if you tell me, I will’’
Both of you were drained at this point since the heavy rainfall was still going on. However, you didn’t care about the rain, you only cared about San right now as you took two steps towards him before crashing your lips on his as you wrapped your arm around him, pulling him closer.
‘’I love you too, Sannie’’ You whispered against his lips ‘’But please come back inside, I’m absolutely freezing’’
‘’So you and Y/n finally made it official?’’ Yeosang asked, after San told him about his confession yesterday night.
‘’Yup, but let’s focus on boxing now, I’m ready to crush you with my new technique’’ San said before taking off his shirt to change into his gym clothes.
‘’Did your new technique include scratching? Or was that just Y/n?’’ Yeosang remarked as he saw San’s back which was full of red scratches from your nails.
‘’No it’s just my new technique’’ San quickly replied, his cheeks turning a bright red as Yeosang chuckled while shaking his head in fake disappointment.
✧*:.｡ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs [ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ]
▻ Pairing : Choi San x Fem!Reader
▻ Genre : Angst! Hint of Fluff
「Warnings」 : None. Idk. Lmk
「Authors Note」 : pov. your too in touch with your emo side.
✧*:.｡. Part One // Part Two
๛ ©𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 //
*please do not steal, copy, or plagiarize in any way, or on any platform !!!
*please note that this does not depict who and how idols/groups are irl. It's a figment of my imagination and just that !!!
How did you get here. How did you pull yourself together enough to be sitting in a car with your boyfriend.
A cup of sweetened coffee with a slightly bitter after taste rested warmly in your hands as you looked beyond the windscreen towards the vast ocean. The sky was gloomy and gray with mist clouding distant views as the light drizzling waters fell onto the windows.
There had been a long awkward silence for the most part ever since you got into the car.
This wasn't what you wanted. But you didn't complain and still tried to enjoy yourself─ even if you felt suffocated by his very presence and cologne that you could overtime catch a whiff of.
It wasn't the same as it was back then...
|[flashback]| The sun was leaving its position high in the center of the sky as the day draw close to its end. San had so determinedly insisted you go for a long drive that lasted up into the middle of the night. He promised you'd be treated well. Safe in his arms and fed whatever it was your stomach was craving; whether it be a sweet coffee and cake, or a cheesy burger and fries. He was ready to give you everything when all you wanted was just him. But you agreed because you were eager to spend time with him just as he wanted to do with you. The drive that day was filled with music; blaring and bursting with energetic beats or soft and melodious songs that made you both break out into a sing along. Sans hand would reach for yours as he intwertined your fingers together before bringing your hand to meet his always warm and soft lips. He never failed to crack a joke every now and then to keep the atmosphere you had going: and it worked splendidly. You had succumbed to that feeling he arose within you. The sense of love you've never felt before. He made you feel so comfortable and at ease that memories of loneliness felt foreign. In return for that, you had strived to be a good partner to him, and moreso when it was obvious no one would support your relationship.
You kept your mother and father and siblings all in the dark as your relationship blossomed, and for good reason because for one, your family had many selfish issues regarding you. It was hard because they said one thing and did another behind your back. Eventually you grew mostly distant with them but still kept in contact and tried to stay close on your part. It was then that San had mostly won your heart over. His caring and bright nature led you to meeting his friends Wooyoung and Yunho who almost immediately welcomed you into their group. It felt more like a home than you've ever felt at your own house.
"It won't matter because we're together for each other"
That was what he said when you once brought up the topic; wanting to tell your family even if they wouldn't approve. You didn't need their approval. A grown adult and responsible enough, something they didn't seem to understand as they always treated you like a child nonetheless. But San shook his head not wanting to cause you problems with your family. Little did he know you considered him the family your own blood wasn't.
|[end of flashback]|
The car was started up again. The empty cup placed in the cup holder in front the armrest beside the handbrake as you brought your legs up and sat in a crossed legged position. Your head fell to lean against the window as you closed your eyes and tried to drown out the aching in your heart by listening to the storm that grew stronger by the minute, reminding you of the many days like this. It was painful to think of the memories, but you had to or else getting through this quiet and tenseful car ride home would be impossible.
|[flashback]| The view beyond the massive love glass pane in front of you was breath taking. The tall buildings with greenery in between here and there, the roads filled with traffic and the sidewalks with people. You couldn't help but admire the sight your hotel room had to offer. A smile broke out on your lips and only grew when hands placed on your stomach.
"It's really beautiful"
San's arms engulfed your body as he rested his chin on your shoulder. You nodded, turning your head to the side to press a kiss to his head.
"You really are"
His smile etched into your mind as his dimples deepened. He giggled into your ear before pulling away from you to jump on the bed.
"It's getting colder" He said as he pulled down the covers and quickly got under them.
"It's supposed to start raining" You inform him as you stepped closer to the window and looked down.
"Perfect weather for you to be in bed with me the whole day and night" And you granted his wish. You kicked off your shoes, removed your jersey and pants and got under the covers. San welcomed your body against his, he grabbed your thigh and gently placed it over his waist leaving his hand to linger on the exposed skin. His chin rested ontop of your head while his other hand intertwined with yours. The room fell silent and soon the storm rolled in. Thunder roared and lightening struck the sky, but it was all enduring because neither you or San let a moment pass where a word wasn't spoken. It was not that you feared storms, in fact, you loved them. You loved the gray uncolored sky. You loved the gloomy atmosphere that appeared and you loved it because in some weird sense it was the most calming.
Already having a love for this type of weather, it only grew more when you're relationship with San evolved. Days like these were the best. It was your days. In the middle of the chaos and darkness of a storm, there was you and San in the home of your apartment with lights off─ sometimes the power going out, a matress placed in front of the couch with heaps of blankets and pillows sprawled across it. Given the situation, if there was electricity you'd have the lights dimmed and a movie playing on the big screen, but if there was no electricity then you resorted to candles and your laptop. Snacks were placed to the side along with a Bluetooth speaker. Days such as this was one of the most important and treasured moments you and San looked forward to, the love and affection you shared when no one was looking.
"This is going to be our thing, right?" San asked with a bright glint of excitement his eyes as he looked down at you.
"What?" You asked amused.
"Doing all these things during a storm" He said referring to the cuddling, watching movies or YouTube, eating snacks amongst all the other activities you've done before.
"I think I'd want it to storm every day then" You bite your lip as you sat up, looking down at him as you leaned in closer.
"You know, there's one thing we haven't done yet"
"And what would that be?" You grinned teasingly as you crawled onto his lap to straddle him. San placed his hands on your waist and applied slight pressure to his hold.
He leaned in, all playfulness gone as he looked at you intently with all seriousness. "Make love" |[end of flashback]|
The car had long came to a stop. The engine was turned off and the keys were pulled out, held in his hand that rested on his thigh.
You didn't say anything, you refused to. You were just trying to savour the fact he was beside you, even if you felt the tense air surrounding you two.
You wanted to blurt out a series of questions, but you didn't knowing it would end up the same way as it did last week. With him irritated and yelling out his frustrations. You bit the inside of your cheek and sighed before unlocking the door and pushing it open, ignoring his eyes that turned to watch you as you got out and walked towards entrance of the building.
Every step you took until you reached your door was you trying to tell yourself it was okay. It was nothing. You love him and thats enough, but your mind couldn't be so easily satisfied as your heart could.
His behavior worried you more than it hurt you and you constantly wondered if this was a strain on him. It crossed your mind numerous times, did he feel as if this relationship had him in a choke hold?
Your thoughts were overwhelming you that you didn't even realize your hands shaking as it tried to open the front door. Your breathing was shaky and you felt cold. Not knowing what was really happening was eating at you.
The sound of San's steps approaching made you jump. Swallowing the huge lump in your throat that then began to ache; your emotions wanting to surface and spill out but your restrained them and focused on opening the front door with a firm hand, one that made it seem as if it wasn't shaking seconds ago.
San was silent. He hadn't exchanged a word with you ever since you left. The only time you heard him talk was when he ordered your coffees. After that, it was as if his voice had gone and he just physically there. This cold side to San was frightening. His smile was replaced with a frown not obvious to the eye. He didn't talk as much anymore either. On the days you did see him this past week, he was always lost deep in his thoughts; looking off into the distance with pursed lips and cold eyes.
"Don't wait up for me" He suddenly says once you enter the house taking you by surprise. You had just got home, where was he going now?
"We just got home" You mumbled, looking at your hands.
"Came up to grab a jacket" San replied with that same unbothered and emotionless tone he always spoke in lately.
You lips pressed together as you turned around to glance at the boy who you gave your heart to. The boy who was once again walking away with it. "Are you going to come back?" You asked softly, fiddling with your fingers; too afraid to meet his eyes.
It wasn't noticed by you, but San had swallowed harshly when you asked that. His eyes fell to the floor.
What am I doing. He asked himself.
The truth was. San knew the answer. He just didn't know how to tell you. He didn't know what was right or what was wrong anymore.
Nothing would excuse what he's done and he wouldn't allow himself to play the victim and be sympathized.
He just needed to get away. He needed to get away from you.
"I can't" His voice cracked. "I can't do this" Your ears perked up at his words. That part of you that cared so deeply for him did not allow it to go unnoticed. And when you raised your head, you saw the frantic look on his face. The way his eyes trembled and his lips quivered. Even his body stiff and his muscles tense. He looked distressed by the realization of something; was there was no mistaking it.
"San" You approached him slowly, now more concerned for his strange behavior than the fact you were seconds away from a heartbreak.
"I can't be here" He gulped, shaking his head and walking towrads the door with rushed steps. But you didn't let him go, you reached out for him and took his hand in yours like you did that night when you first confronted him.
His reaction was different.
"Let me go"
"Please. Let me go" He pleaded with so much desperation in his words that made your heart shatter into a million pieces.
You shook your head, denying him his request. You were selfish. You couldn't.
"Let me go Y/n"
"You left me but I can't leave you, San" You said with sincerity. "I don't want you to go"
"I'm not asking Y/n" He said. I'm begging.
"Then just give me something. Anything! Tell me why things changed. Tell me it's me. Say I'm the problem. Tell me you don't love me anymore. Just give me something damn it" You poured out. Something he was terrified to do.
San stopped. He glanced over his shoulder and made direct eye contact with you.
You didn't know if seeing his glistening eyes stung or assured.
It was unexpected. San couldn't hold it anymore as he saw you looking at him in with hurt underlying your confusion. He wouldn't give in. He didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve this. But he was the reason. He couldn't face you after what he's done and he couldn't live with it either. Every time he looked at you he was reminded of the times he's treated you like shit. All the times he's lost himself to his emotions and ended up hurting you. He couldn't take it anymore.
He didn't want it to be you.
How did it end up being you.
A reminder of the person he once was. The person he was supposed to be for you. He couldn't face you knowing that he was everything but the man you believed he was.
He was everything but put together. He was everything but strong.
When he promised you a life filled with his love and attention. When he confessed this was what he wanted even if it was to be held a secret from the rets of the world; because at the end of the day, San always knew you were enough. And he believed himself. That moment in time he truly believed that he could give you what he felt you deserved. He was confident and happy; until he wasn't.
You were always enough but San just didn't know if he was.
He succumbed to his fears, to his Insecurities. He looked at you with the truth in his eyes and a lie rolled off his tongue.
"I don't love you anymore"
Even if you knew it was a lie, your heart could not stop from braking. The words being said verbally was destructive, like a deafening ring in your ears. Your body, mind, and soul did everything it could to deny it. You knew he loved you. His eyes proved that. His tears assured that. His hand that clutched onto your rest showed he was too afraid to let you go.
"You don't mean that"
He didn't. With every fibre in his body he didn't. But it was hard to deny it when he felt he wasn't enough. Like he wasn't deserving of your love.
I love you
Don't cry. Please don't cry My love
I love you
I love you so much
"You don't mean that... San" You reaped hoping this time he'd say no. And that this sick prank would all be over. That he'd crack a heartbreaking and apologetic smile saying all this was spart of a sick joke and that he was regretful, that he didn't mean to take it so far. But he didn't. He didn't smile. He didn't do anything.
"You don't mean that"
Behind closed doors. You fell in place and out of place.
Behind closed doors the universe brought you together and broke you apart.
"I don't love you anymore"
But he did. He loved you so much he hurt you because of it. And San was willing to leave now before he ended up destroying you along with him.
He wished it could have been different. He had hoped it would. For eternity, San knew he would always be yours for every part of him fit like a puzzle piece with you. But he was lost too deep in his mind he felt regretful and ashamed. He feared to show it on his face.
Your love was hopeless from the start. The universe allowed you a moment together; but it hurt all too much when they decided to pull you apart.
"I wish it could have been different" But I'm always yours My love, always. Forever
And he walked away. Leaving you behind a closed door.
With two sides separated, two broken hearts have never been more connected.
Your love would die a secret.
 🪐 cosmic cowboy - ateez
[ caught up ! 🌈 ] 𝟓 | I’m a huge fan..
Biting her nails, Y/n waited, anticipating. VIKEX was now in the backstage of Jessi’s show building, listening to her introduce the senior group. Why was Y/n so nervous? She’s never heard of this group a day in her life, maybe that’s why. Damnit, get it together, Y/n, she thought.
Snapping her out of her thoughts, she heard Jessi beginning to announce the next entrence, which was Y/n’s group..
“And now, for the newest 4th gen group.. Who’s just had their first comeback with some bomb, ass-kicking valkyrie.. my girls, VIKEX!” Running out into the camera’s view, the girls yelled and woohoo’d as they bowed, walking past ATEEZ and Jessi.
“Wah~ So exciting..” Sieun spoke after everyone was done applauding, causing them all to giggle at her sudden excitement. Everyone now seated in their seats, ATEEZ on the right and VIKEX on the left with Jessi at the end. “Wow.. I can’ believe it. Two amazing groups sitting right here in front of me.” Jessi spoke with wide eyes causing both groups to laugh.
The show began and ATEEZ finished their introductions. Now it’s our turn, Y/n thought. “1, 2, 3, Givers Hail! Hello, we are VIKEX! it’s VIKEX’s lovely leader, Jiyeon!” All applauded for the older’s introduction before the group continued on.
“Hi, hi, hi! VIKEX’s main rapper here, Dohee!”
“Wait, are you the oldest? Or Jiyeon? I really can’t tell..” Jessi asked, with the straightest face possible. Both groups laughed at Jessi’s shocked reaction, faces turning into a tomato-like color. “Yah! I’m so serious, I can’t tell!”
Still laughing, Jiyeon spoke, “No, I am the oldest. She’s after me.”
“Hello! I am VIKEX’s super-duper, energetic-enersetic, rapper, Sieun!” All applauded once again, chuckling at Sieun’s intro. “And personally, I’m an ATINY..”
ATEEZ wowed and woah’ed at Sieun’s statement. She covered her face in embarrassment, laughing to herself. “Hello, hello, I am VIKEX’s main vocalist and youngest, “조용한 (quiet)” Yewon!” Everyone clapped, but Jessi sat confused, once again. “Wait a minute, why is she called “조용한”? Please explain the joke..” Once again, the groups laughed at Jessi’s confusion. “It’s because she’s the quietest out of the group and she’s the most introverted.” Sieun explained.
Everyone in ATEEZ turned to look at Yeosang. He looked around, “Why.. are you all staring at me..” The males laughed, jokingly hitting him. “Yewon sounds like our Yeosang.” San shouted, giggling. Y/n face palmed, laughing along with the others.
Eventually, the introductions got down to the last two members, Y/n and Daxia. “Hello, I’m your galaxy, Daxia!” Everyone cheered, while Jessi smiled. “Wait, are you mixed with something? Your eyes kind of look rounder than the stereotypical Korean standard.” Daxia laughed at Jessi’s question, “Actually, yes, I’m Koreanese. Meaning, Korean and Chinese.” Jessi nodded, with another shocked expression. “I don’t think I’ve met someone like that, that’s low-key cool, oh my god?!”
“Hi, I am VIKEX’s lead dancer and rapper, Y/n.” Clapping, Jessi narrowed her eyes at Y/n, making her feel intimidated. “Can I ask why you’re staring like that, Unnie?” She laughed nervously. Jessi put a finger on her chin, pretending to think. “You seem like another introvert.. Have you ever did the MBTI test?” Everyone giggled, looking in the younger’s direction. “No, I believe I’m the only one in the group who didn’t take it”
Jessi gasped, “We have to get you that test, ASAP! Im really interested in her, she seems cool.” She spoke to the camera. “Are the rest of the members not cool, Unnie?” Sieun sulked jokingly. “No, no! That’s not what I meant, I just-“ Sieun cut Jessi off with a ‘talk to the hand’ motion. Everyone clapped, yelling and laughing.
After awhile, Y/n really got into the show and started to have some real fun. She loved how funny Jessi was and most of the questions or games they played weren’t bad. Although, she did notice one particular member from the male group, continuously looking at her or smiling when she talked.
Snapping her out of her thoughts, Jessi asked another question. “What is a weird or interesting talent that you have?”
Everyone stated theirs while Y/n sat quiet. “Y/n-ah, what’s your talent?” Jessi asked. She shrugged, speaking in a whisper, “I don’t really have one..” Y/n’s group gasped at the girl, hearing her speak so low of herself. “Unnie, that’s not even true! She composes and writes. She’s like a DJ.” Sieun shouted. The group stood silent while Jessi and ATEEZ wowed. “That’s not a weird talent but it’s interesting.. Doesn’t Hongjoong compose too?” Jessi spoke to both groups. The boys nodded, shouting in excitement. “I think we should have a DJ battle, what do you guys think?”
Everyone shouted, while Hongjoong and Y/n stared at each other, cracking up. Tears staining their cheeks, they eventually agreed to this battle, making everyone cheer again. Jessi had her producers bring out mini soundboards while she explained the rules for this game. Both members from each group stepped up to the small podium where the boards were placed. Whoever made the best beat (judged by Jessi), would get a point for their group. They would have 4 rounds.
“Alright, the first genre is hip-hop. 3..2….1, make your beats!” Jessi shouted as the two scrambled to find the right clip for their beat. Everyone cheered on their member and waited for them to finish. Y/n finished a little bit after Hongjoong, clicking the ‘done’ alarm. Hongjoong played his best first, since he was the first to finish. Jessi listened closely, bopping her head to the beat.
Next, she went to Y/n’s, listening to the younger’s instrumentals. Her eyes went wide as she listened, making everyone squirm with curiosity, wondering what the senior was thinking. After going silent for a while, she spoke with a shocked expression. “Wah~ I think I would pick.. Y/n? Her beat sounds so much like my song!” VIKEX clapped and cheered, high-fiving their member. Hongjoong dramatically dropped to the ground in front of Jessi, “Why, Noona? Why?!” Slapping his head jokingly, she yelled for him to do better. Only joking of course.
They finished off that game, and eventually got to the last part of the show. “Okay, before VIKEX shows us their new dance, is there any confessions that any of you have?” Everyone went silent while ATEEZ peeked at Seonghwa. The camera panned to him, seeing him look around confusingly (*insert hwa’s disgusted face*). Jessi looked up at him, gesturing for him to say something. “Wha-? Why me..?” He spoke, causing both ATEEZ and Jessi to scream at him for pretending to not know what was going on. He scooted back, his disgusted face remaining. “I’m an OAR..”
Sieun and the rest of her group gasped, clapping. The Park Seonghwa was a fan of theirs?! No way. They smiled, thanking and bowing to the older.
They danced to their newest title track ‘OAR’ (their fandom name and their new track lolz) and their debut song. They said their goodbyes to the cameras and to Jessi as it was soon time for them to leave.
They hugged Jessi, leaving one by one to leave through the backstage. All said their last goodbyes to each other and left. As Y/n walked behind the others, she was looking behind her, smiling at the stage where her and her members had just been, not even realizing she was about to smack into someone. The two collided, Y/n’s head hitting the taller’s chest, as they both stepped away groaning. She looked up, seeing one of the members of the male group. “Oh, sorry! I was just-“ She started. The black-haired male shook his head, smiling, “No, it’s fine! I should’ve watched where I was walking..”
The young girl smiled, feeling herself getting shy under the boy’s gaze. She didn’t even know him, yet she was so flustered?! Get. It. Together. Y/n, she thought. He waved at her, saying he had to go, as she walked away, waving back.
Jesus, what am I getting myself into?
Climbing into the group’s vehicle, everyone chatted loudly while waiting for the van to pull off.
“What should we eat?”
“That was so fun, HELLO?!”
“Hongjoong is just so.. No! Zia, stop, you don’t even like men..”
“I think Yewon-unnie and Yeosang should, uh..”
Conversations went off around Y/n, as she reminisced about her little scenario in the corridors. She smiled to herself, opening the Twitter application.
— synopsis: COCOADIVE Entertainment’s newest girl group has just had a comeback! during your promotions, you are introduced to a boy group, ATEEZ. your group is set to go on ‘Jessi’s Show!terview’ with the boys. while there, you meet the nicest, most handsome man you have ever encountered—choi san. all is well as you two begin to develop a friendship. but once san invites you for a date with him, it all goes down from there.. san already has someone else??
— a/n: ahhh was this chapter too short??? it’s kinda bad but im so used to writing small drabbles, i haven’t written long stories like this in a while 😭😭 n e way, i hope u all enjoyed !!
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📆 ~ 5.30 23:39 (KST)
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