Me? Making Jekyll and Hyde themed rings?? No officer you must mean someone else....šš
-"You complete me, you..."
-"You had me at Hello."
-from the movie Jerry Maguire, 1996.
the lump in my throat has a death grip on it, the tears, threatening to fall. don't let them see, don't let it show. the voice inside my head echoes. I want to stop, and take a moment to breathe. everyone else is walking ahead of me, leaving me behind. I can't stop, not now, so I cling to the people I love, desperately, with a smile on my face, I pretend to be okay.
my room is so quiet and empty it hurts. I am a creature of grief and agony and bitter longings. there is an empty place within me where my heart once was. it's painful loving someone from afar. watch other people fill the spaces in their heart and there's nothing you can do about it so you just sit there, hoping that there's still some space left for you. something can still hurt you, with no contact at all. maybe I've always been bitter and broken inside, hiding it all behind a mask. I've been so patient all my life for just a glimpse of happiness, where is it? where is my fucking euphoria? where are the good times I've heard so much about? is it even true or there's no light at the end of the tunnel for me?
did life treat everyone so recklessly, ripping the good things apart while letting bad things fester and grow like fungus? I am living in hell and there is nothing I can do to escape. I am utterly powerless. it's like i am living under a rock in the river, i am too tired to fight it so i let myself sink, deeper, letting the tranquility surround me. a flower bloomed already wilting. beginning its life with an early ending.
āsavy, don't let them see, don't let it show
thu | 05.26.22 [10/100 days of productivity]
iām trying to post unedited pictures from now on, to see which is better. sooooo happy that my sample perfumes arrived today!
and anyway, i went outside to spark my motivation to come up with references for my anthropology projectāyes, i went to a cafe and ordered americano. too bad they didnāt have any other coffee at that moment but it kinda paid off by giving me an oreo doughnut? i guess? well, today i did:
ā¢ research on anthropology ideas, outline, and finally having all the necessary references. had to make a short essay!
ā¢ ā¦some grocery shopping. bought mustard greens, cranberry juice and bread
ā¢ fold my dry clothes
ā¢ cook mushroom and tofu soup, as iāve been obsessed with simple yet refreshing foods lately
ā¢ watch the movie Yuni (2021). itās a must-watch, actually. a coming-of-age movie based in indonesia which explored teenage years, gender and sexuality. itās a simple movie yet the premise was very promising!
ā¢ continue reading how to die by seneca
ā¢ listen to a podcast of dira sugandi about being happy with ordinary. put it on shuffle and now i discovered her music š¤§
Sure, a lot of people hate geminis. But can you spell gemini without āgemā? I donāt think so..
my ap english class requirement is to read the secret history and write something about it over the summer. a link to this account will suffice
When florence said "I came for the pleasure but I stayed for the pain" and then hozier said "I'd be lost to you sunlight, and flew like a moth to you sunlight, oh sunlight" I had to stop for a moment
Do y'all like when I make moodboards? I feel like I suck at them?
And if the world don't break, I'll be shaking it, 'Cause I'm a young man after all. And when the seasons change, Will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall.
- Young the Giant, Mind over Matter
Achilles: I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.
Day 10/30
26.05.2022 // Finally trying out digital planners!! I heard Google Calendar is promising, so hit me up with any tips!! Also went perfume shopping to get my aunt a present and got tester freebies!!! Best part of perfume shopping I swear.... I've been dying to try L'interdet, but I'm broke so this is perfect!
š§Don't Wanna Cry - SEVENTEEN š
So we all know this phrase ' a friend to all is a friend to none' and we all can different or same pov to this.
For me personally [someone who can relate to this], it's more like me trying to give my best to everyone i have ever known because i genuinely feel they deserve something better than usual and then I end up giving nothing to myself. So even if I may end up having friends who actually do care about me in a very nice way , i will still think it's just because i did the same not because i deserve it or its genuine from their side at some point of time and most importantly i still do feel that emptiness because, yes maybe i am a good friend to all but in the end i am not the friend i should be for myself.
And i know that i or anyone who stands in this place, should not be so open to putting others before themselves. Still its just so natural for me to not care about me first and think about others, that when at times it hits me i feel really bad for who i am for myself. And no doubt there is a traumatic reason behind this too.
( + 1 Ā ) Ā NUEVA Ā NOTIFICACIĆN Ā DE Ā @ VALENTINV Ā :
* Ā Ā Ā valentine Ā ha Ā compartido Ā susĀ atuendosĀ enĀ Ā š Ā lasĀ islasĀ maldivasĀ .
I want to go to a beautiful field alone and stay there for a long time away from human interaction. I want to listen to the peaceful sounds of nature, I want to look at the wonderful creation, I want to immerse myself fully into nature and spend time in solitude
