#don't reb/g Tumblr posts

  • cuteiemonster
    11.05.2022 - 1 week ago

    i literally have so much art piled up that i want to finish but then some of it is juuuuuuuuuust old enough that id rather redraw it ( thus adding ONTO the pile ) but i dont want to post unfinished works because every time ive done so in the past ive yearned to finish them and i feel weird about posting unfinished WIPs and then a few days later posting the finished product x_x

    #don't reb|og#hush cuteie #i got animations i got paintings i got character designs i g
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  • kravinoffs
    09.05.2022 - 1 week ago

    I’ve started to use pacemaker to keep track of trying to write 400 words per day (like Sir Terry!!) and I think this might actually be a game changer. I need to see how this will go on days when I’m working, but so far so good? I think limiting myself to a smaller word count actually helps me from writing ‘just to write more’ and getting burnt out/stuck. i think the current scene i’ve been working on feels a lot nicer since i’ve written a small section, sat on it, then came back for another small section. this is different than how i usually slam out huge sections in one go and them leave them for a long time, then repeat. i think this might be a better/cleaner habit? fingers crossed!

    also i need to see my progress in little charts for endorphins.

    #don't reb//g #i'm just blathering into the void about this
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  • kravinoffs
    10.04.2022 - 1 mont ago

    figured out a plot reason to give Nick lightning scars

    #they're my OCs what else am i supposed to do except cater to myself #eventually when i turn [redacted] into oc work instead (huge rewrite effort) [redacted] will also have scars #bc whatever i can do what i want #but that wouldn't be anything soon that's just a vague notion in my brain #don't reb//g this
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  • kravinoffs
    21.01.2022 - 3 monts ago

    i’m not even working on it rn since i’m strictly holding myself accountable to 1 (one) OC project at a time and i don’t have extra funds to fathom commissioning someone but i see specific cute pink things and my brain goes into overdrive about pink-poodle-werewolf lizzie valentine

    #poodle in spirit not in like... wolf form #hair? blonde and curly and huge #fashion? pink #hearts? everywhere #makeup? sparkling #disposition? sunny #full moon? monstrous beyond comprehension #don't reb////g #she loves her goth butch vampire gf ): so much
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  • kravinoffs
    07.01.2022 - 4 monts ago

    this is just me blathering to myself but i started working on my oc project back in june of 2020 and i know this isn’t such a big deal comparatively but this is the biggest original project i’ve ever worked on and stayed committed towards, and it’s finally shaping up to what i want it to be a year and a half later. i have a second draft of act one and i still need to shave down/condense my themes/characterization but it’s already so different than my cute/flippant first draft and it feels... really good. the original draft is 50k and most of that i will have to discard -- same with the nano attempt because i tried a new angle that didn’t at all work -- but that’s fine because i’m working upward and figuring it out as i go. it feels good and satisfying and maybe one day i’ll actually have something presentable, which both scares and excites me, haha.

    i also kind of... muted myself a lot with draft one because, if i wrote a romcom that was ‘silly/fun’ then no one could call it embarrassing/overdramatic since it’s just a silly time! it’s just a playful fun story so it’s no big deal! but that was... not what i really wanted to do and now i’m writing with actual stakes and it’s far more genuine. does that mean someone might call it dramatic or misread it? maybe but that’s the risk and that’s also fine. i can’t just always do something lighthearted simply because it might spare me ill-will.

    anyway yadda yadda this is just me blathering. don’t reb//g or whatever.

    #don't reb///g #i don't know how to express how i never did original stuff since i felt... bad about it idk #against all odds d*nluke rattled my brain and made me realize i can make something... long and it will actually be good #versus my indulgent little oneshots that came before #so #anyway this feels nice
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  • kravinoffs
    07.11.2021 - 6 monts ago

    very important question: what are your early 2000s amv songs? the ones that are a little cringe but go hard and you can imagine a whole dramatic scene to them? i need them. for reasons.

    #i'm talking about animal i've become #i'm talking about amy lee #don't reb///g tho
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  • kravinoffs
    29.09.2021 - 7 monts ago

    don’t reb//g for real but blah blah oc stuff your scary werewolf mother who is ancient beyond your comprehension still likes you best even when you’re a disobedient child out kissing your vampire girlfriend

    #i am just THINKING about lizzie being a bratty beloved daughter that's all #don't reb//g #i'll delete this later
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  • kravinoffs
    26.09.2021 - 7 monts ago

    i love taking my elaborate variations of canon characters and making them ocs. this is mine now. i've had them for two days and i would die for them.

    #max and kane my new loves #oh to run a criminal empire with your sexy assassin boyfriend #don't reb//g
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  • kravinoffs
    19.09.2021 - 8 monts ago

    hello help i need two masculine names for this short story to replace my generic placeholders

    #when ur bf dies and becomes a ghost and haunts your apartment to look out for you #don't reb///g
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  • kravinoffs
    14.09.2021 - 8 monts ago

    i have to cut myself off from looking at anything about publishing since 1) it’s putting the cart before the horse and 2) it just makes me anxious and the notion that i’d have no idea where to begin just twists me up in knots

    #don't reb///g #obviously it's dumb to look at when i have nothing submission ready rn anyway #but sometimes places ask for something so specific that it would make sense to craft something TO SUBMIT based on requirements but that's #ALSO stressful #it's fine i'm nowhere near ready for this idea so WHY am i working myself up #lkjdsaslkjd
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  • ask-artsy-oncie
    29.08.2021 - 8 monts ago

    So I’m kinda in a meh/apathetic headspace in regards to my mental health right now. Maybe it would be best to just let some thoughts out. 

    Firstly, I do want to apologize for making stupid, borderline inflammatory posts and throwing them out there onto tumblr dot com, I know that’s never the best course of action. However, I really, really do not appreciate anons sending vague “are you okay”s at me. If you’re not close enough to me where you can’t PM me (relatively) face-to-face, then I really wouldn’t like random inquiries about my mental health from you. Maybe it’s just because I don’t 100% trust anons (I’ve been here for a decade, I’ve seen some shit, can you really blame me?) but I think I ought to make myself clear on that. Are we clear on that? cool. 

    I don’t know... I’ve felt so lost and tired recently, moreso than usual.

    I’ve always had a massive complex about annoying people, being too self-indulgent, not having good ideas or opinions or what-have-you. People who have known me for a while almost definitely know that. I don’t think it all necessarily exists in a vacuum, either I have a genuinely hard time coming up with objectively good ideas. Sometimes I’m just straight-up “head empty” mode. I’m also often really opinionated and sometimes intend to die on hills that people aren’t really meant to die on (or are even necessarily worth dying on). I can get way too wrapped up on meaningless things because my brain is too hyperfocused on this one thing, or maybe something I rely too heavily on for comfort is... I don’t know how to put it.... put at risk? Challenged? I have a lot of mental issues and real life issues, though I’m not claiming to be massively oppressed or anything, but I tend to cling to comforts a little too desperately. And I’m not just talking about like. Media. Just comforts in general. Sometimes I’ll spend too much of the day laying in bed. Sometimes I cling to old relationships or old forms of relationships or I constantly worry about the day I’ll inevitably no longer have the same relationships I have now. 

    I’ve known I needed therapy for a while now. I’m waitlisted and everything, but I need to go about actually choosing a therapist to see and I’ve been dragging my feet on that so I guess that’s my bad. I’ll get to it. Shit’s overwhelming, yknow? 

    Anyways I know I have a lot of these flaws and problems and I think my horrible anxieties about being too annoying and whatnot is just a really extreme form of self-reflection. Maybe. Not entirely sure. Maybe a therapist could tell me.

    I get way too passionate, way too easily, and it’s almost always followed by a super intense period of shame, like, to the point where I’m desperate to isolate myself and destroy my relationships with other people, because then at least I’m actually trying to destroy a relationship by being a bad person, rather than someone leaving me for... I don’t know, being too happy? Caring too much? Talking too much? Just. Shit I have less control over. 

    I’ve tried putting a cap on it, suppressing everything. Trying not to indulge too much, trying not to be so happy and talkative, straight-up deleting messages I think might be too annoying the second I send them. Trying to be inoffensive through being unnoticeable. I’m trying to do that now, honestly. It’s why I joked about deleting my blog. All it does is hurt and make me go fucking nuts because I’m bottling up a lot in doing that, I know. I’m just not fully convinced I don’t just deserve to feel that way.

    There are a lot of points in my life where I’m convinced that my best course of action in succeeding or keeping people from being put-off by me is to just sit down and shut up and draw what I’m told to draw. To just completely lose my agency in drawing. It makes sense, when you feel like you don’t have any good ideas of your own, you just illustrate others’. And there are many, many points where I have done this out of a place of love. Fuck, most of what I’ve drawn for Lolly’s writing has come out of a place of genuine love, not just for her work, but for her. A lot of what I’ve drawn for Bethany (for any REAL long-time followers reading this) has been like that, too. But there are also points where it honestly just feels like my only purpose is to be a tool through which others may visualize their whims. That if I dare inject too much of myself into things, they’ll be permanently ruined. And then there’s the shame I feel in having wanted to impart a piece of myself into a work - a demerit for being too selfish or self-important to deem my whims anywhere near good or important enough to be included. 

    I have so many ideas. So many opinions and thoughts and feelings and genuine insight that I’ve suppressed or deleted because I either feel like that’s what’s expected of me, or I’m straight-up told that my thoughts and opinions are bad and wrong. Like. Fuck me for having opinions on animated media levels of being shut-down. And you know, I’ve noticed something in the past decade of being an insufferable opinionated prick about things like that - that it’s actually easier for me to enjoy media when I’m allowed to be negative and critical of it. When I am allowed to just share my thoughts. And I don’t mean like, without being disagreed with, I mean like, in an environment where I’m made to feel like I actually can share these thoughts. When I can pinpoint and analyze what I didn’t like or what made me upset, it can be a lot easier for me to then move on and be able to focus on aspects that I genuinely do like. Like, holy fuck, it is SO much easier for me to pick-and-choose aspects of a certain sequel film that I actually like and feel comfortable saying I like than it was for me to do with the original, because I no longer have an incredibly toxic person in my life (or at least, in my life as much).

    But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had this kind of experience since then, like. There are STILL things I struggle to move past because I have been made to feel like I just can’t fucking talk about them without being insufferable (sorry if I’m overusing that word - it just feels like the best word the feeling I’m trying to describe) or just straight-up ruining something for someone I care about. Keeping shit like this in does crazy shit to me, for real, and there’s still a large part of me that tells me “Fuck you. Suck it up. None of this shit matters.” Y’know? Because in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn’t. And then there’s the shame that comes from having cared so much in the first place. It’s a fucking cycle. There’s some shit that’s just irreparable ruined for me because of this and that SUCKS.

    I don’t like losing comforts. Fuck, I hate it, really. And I’m not talking about new comforts coming along and catching my attention as an old comfort begins to wane, I’m talking like. Destroying relationships, feeling SO MUCH shame surrounding a comfort media that it’s too difficult to enjoy it no matter how hard I try, or having too hard of a time disassociating a comfort with a horrible event or person. And it’s feeling like at LEAST one of these is starting to happen to me again and Good Gods it’s just. It’s so terrifying. 

    But who do I tell? When my primary worry is annoying or offending or hurting people? Y’know? I can’t just vent to one single person to this all the time, that isn’t fair. But it gets to a point where my brain tells me “No, you can’t talk to ANYONE about this because that’s rude and wrong and a true friend wouldn’t do that. There’s a reason why you can make any number of concerning posts, messages, private ramblings, whatever, and the people you’re closest to won’t ask you what’s wrong.” 

    And, yeah, honestly, I do think it’s true that the people I consider my closest friends won’t read this. I actually don’t believe the average person will read this, or at least get this far. I genuinely do just talk too much and it’s a lot for most people to deal with. Otherwise, I talk too little, and probably enter the “you should be able to read my MIND” level of expectations, which, of course, isn’t far. I understand, I swear I do, it just takes some time to come to terms with every time I get wrapped up in my stupid mental stuff. And I also promise that I try to give these people the same kind of response I want, y’know? I try to look out for any worrying behavior and try to offer an ear and help in any way that I can. I don’t think expecting the same in return is fair, I just worry about any of them being like me, and I’m willing to play to that if it’s necessary. I’ll break quiet streaks for that shit, y’know?

    Honestly, these stupid quiet streaks are probably more unbearable for me than they are even noticeable for most people. It sucks. I just wish my mind was normal so I A) wouldn’t have these insecurities to begin with, because B) I would never end up exhibiting the behavior to warrant such insecurities.

    There’s so much shit I want to talk about, to analyze, or explore, that I want to share with the world, or at least with people I love, that I probably never will because my stupid brain has already decided that all this stupid shit is better kept to myself where it can rot and be forgotten eventually. Which is fine, in the grand scheme of things, I guess, because I functionally have never really been the guy who comes up with ideas (at least, good ideas) I’m just the pencil, the one who I guess makes things visual? I can’t even bring myself to say “I bring the ideas to life” because that’s pretentious and untrue. These ideas are already alive because they come from brilliant minds. 

    I don’t even think it’s fair for me to call myself a character designer unless the characters are my own. Otherwise, I’m just following the directions of a much more competent conceptualizer (there’s a reason my characters barely have any... well, character). That’s the reason why I removed my unearned credit as the character designer for Ty from Swindle’s description, because I really don’t deserve that kind of credit. It’s why the asks about the designing process of Ty have been left unanswered, because, fuck, what do I even say? “I just did what Lolly told me to do, just like I did with all of Swindle. Please don’t give me that kind of credit, I know I falsely ascribed it to myself earlier, and I want to rectify that”? I guess I could have, actually, now that I’m typing this. But people always get fucking upset with me when I try not to take credit, even when it’s shit that isn’t mine!! So I don’t know what to do!! I don’t know what to fucking do!!! Because I just don’t fucking want to make people upset or unhappy!!!!!!!

    I’m sorry, this post is too long and I’ve worked myself up and I’m no longer apathetic. I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep so big win for my complexion, honestly. 

    Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I guess getting this shit out of my system is probably best to do in a big tumblr post no one will read. 

    I don’t want anons about this. If I can just ask one thing. Please.

    #do n/ot reb/lo/g #rant#vent#long post #probably won't delete tbh #i don't know it's the most competent i've been about weird mind shit for a while now #so maybe it would be best to just leave it
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  • kravinoffs
    28.08.2021 - 8 monts ago

    Consider yourself being asked about vampire/werewolf lesbians. (And about all of your OCs in general. Regardless of how frequently you've talked about them already before. Feel free to talk even more and at even greater lenght. Seriously. Please.)

    Thank you so much!!

    The story is rather vague in my head as of right now since I'm actively working on different OC story first ( Nick & Elliott ). But! They're Al (vampire) and Lizzie (werewolf) and the story as of so far involves following them across varying time periods.

    Lizzie is a bright, bubbly person while Al is more quiet and reserved. In Ancient Rome, Lizzie watches Al absolutely clean up a gladiator match and decides "this is the most attractive person I have ever seen," and ever since Al has never known peace and cannot do her loner routine ever again. Since they're of warring factions, this obviously isn't advisable for either of them, so Al continuously brushes Lizzie off at first (for her own good). Lizzie is, however, nothing if not persistent and little-by-little she wears down Al's defences.

    Side plot involves Tess, a scientist who Al turns into a vampire to save her life, and Jaeger, an occult detective who has been obsessed with tracking down Lizzie and her pack for years. Jaeger is a little extreme, eccentric, and thinks she knows more than she does. This is balanced out by Tess who is in fact rather zen and collected -- and also mean enough to tell her to be quiet when she needs to.

    The peak gag of this is Jaeger spends her whole life devoted to hunting down wolves, but when she meets Tess she's like "wait vampires are real?" and it's simply so stupid that Tess has to kiss her.

    Also here's a gag I posted on Twitter mostly for my own amusement

    #me in tears: where are the butch women #if no one else got me i know jon b with the buzzcut covered in blood got me #don't reb//g tho
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  • kravinoffs
    23.08.2021 - 8 monts ago

    i spent all of worlds apart building up for an epilogue boba/leia joke and now i have to change the epilogue so it’s not THERE ANYMORE AFTER I WAITED SO LONG

    #i had a draft but i couldn't make the joke click and now this other stuff feels smoother but... i spent so long... devoted to this gag... #SIGHS#don't reb//g
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  • kravinoffs
    22.08.2021 - 8 monts ago

    i take one look at slade and i know that’s a man who needs to take the strap

    #i perceive the truth like an ancient oracle possessed with visions #don't reb//g
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  • tobermoriansass
    14.08.2021 - 9 monts ago

    I largely agree with your post but I disagree with lumping of 'Come the Revolution' into it. I do not want the kiling of people in revolution but ime, I have become increasingly frustrated as a grassroots activist, with non-violent protests while the state continues to be oppressive and violent towards us (so many people continue to die due to govt's oppressive policies and forced demolitions of working class houses already. People are already dying).They literally tore our banners and mass arrested everyone brutally at one of our protests. So I don't believe in non-violent protests being any effective, sorry, even though we continue to use that, because the state has promised change in response and then gone back on their promises multiple times and now the state is surveilling non-violent diseenters even more. My personal opinion is we need radical change in our society and I genuinely can't think of many other ways except violent resistance (I am an anarchist personally). (not trying to start an argument, honest, genuinely trying to understand/learn from your viewpoint).

    I agree with you anon, on pretty much every level.

    I guess where I diverge with some parts of the left is that sometimes the way people talk about "revolution" or wanting to be "part of the revolution" strikes me as remarkably, I don't know, naive? Sometimes even offensive?

    Like, there is, on the whole a very specific phenomena of everyone being very gung-ho about violent revolution and guillotines. Less so about the harder nitty gritties of revolution - how will the revolution eat (when most of your food including meat relies on violent agribusiness in tropical countries, how will you continue to eat and what will you eat)? how will the revolution communicate (if you aim to decolonize the supply chains for your laptops and cell phones, and extract metals in a way that is environmentally friendly, the costs of both are going to skyrocket. The cost of a fairphone which is made of only 32% of materials being sustainably and ethically sourced, is something in the range of 450 euros)? how will the revolution transport its materials around (how will you manufacture your trucks and ships in a way that's ethical and sustainable?)? Those are some of the logistical problems that I keep thinking of, that very few people seem to be genuinely interested in thinking about.

    But on an even deeper and ethical level, I guess, I have more problems:

    how will the revolution protect its most vulnerable?

    how will the revolution execute some of the least pleasant yet extremely essential jobs in society, or how will we do the unglamorous everyday work of keeping the machinery of society running? (we joke about all those threads, but they do betray the fact that people aren't thinking seriously about the kind of manual labour they would have to do, or how expensive things might get once you start fairly compensating farmworkers, janitors, garbage collectors, warehouse workers, factory workers, even teachers - I am reminded irrepressibly about that piece about the anarchists who went to syria to fight and were upset when the YPG asked them to teach instead)

    how will the revolution ensure it doesn't consume its own? (we see this everyday online: what makes us believe that it would be any different with guns or weapons added to the mix?)

    how will the revolution deal with the "undesirables", the "difficult" people? with ethnic tensions and racism? with homophobia and transphobia? (all of them rife on the "left")

    how will the revolution deal with the inevitable clash between liberation for the first world and liberation for the third world, or the liberation of indigenous peoples, when liberation for the third world, black people and indigenous peoples requires sacrificing some of the creature comforts we are used to?

    how will the revolution rebuild in peace after violence? how will you undo the effects of violence on people?

    What unspeakablehorror and I were referring to is that there is a specific sort of l/eftist tendency to glamourize the idea of a violent revolution, of running off to join a fight, but very little thinking about people, or what it means for society to exist.

    I think its very different when you come to violence as a means when you have counted the cost of what violence does to you as a person and what violence does to other people - psychologically, physically, on every level - and what violence does to social structures as a whole. its easy to tear down something in violence, but it is much much harder to rebuild peace. it is one thing to come to violence as a last resort, or to take up arms in defense for your literal life -- it is another to seek it out for the abstract idea of "revolution".

    Anyway, I think my thoughts are sort of summed up with like, the scorn with which Subcomandante Marcos writes about the sort of leftist who comes to the Zapatistas seeking revolution in the novel The Uncomfortable Dead. Ultimately revolution is not glamorous. Its sort of sordid and upsetting, and when it isn't its boring and involves a lot more logistical planning and labour. The fact that it gets treated as such, or something that is uncomplicatedly desirable (sometimes even no matter the cost or toll) is upsetting. Its desirable, but not uncomplicatedly so. I think we should be okay with the discomfort and complicated feelings, especially when violence that involves people potentially dying is involved.

    #DON////T REB////LOG#anonymous asks#replies #like specifically those ones who went to syria #the way they talked about the y/p/g was just #incredibly fucking weird #and their veneration in online spaces is also weird #maybe they were misrepresented who knows #but also you don't have to.....travel in search of the revolution idek man #left stuff
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  • kravinoffs
    10.08.2021 - 9 monts ago

    i do want to read comics specifically about slade and his family but i only trust the comics that gay people tell me to read and that particular niche isn’t working out for me

    #am i gonna listen to a reddit thread?? a rec list that i know came from /co/?? ridiculous #yeah yeah slade kicks ass in this one but does he talk to his kids?? #a straight man isn't going to prioritize that #don't reb///g
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  • kravinoffs
    02.08.2021 - 9 monts ago

    I too was very disappointed in the green knight. For a year I was like "finally gonna get the bi movie of my dreams" and then bam 🤡

    solidarity, anon. ): I mean, I don't want it to sound like my main complaint is "not bi enough" bc I kinda went in figuring they wouldn't cater to that part of the myth. Which is a bummer but expected. It's the... really weird deliberate choices they made otherwise while not elaborating/explaining those choices. they focused so much on nonsense while not giving attention to things that would actually carry their themes. the myth has such a solid theme and story and i'm not opposed to like, interpreting that differently since arthurian stuff always evolves but... i feel like they sucked all the worthwhile parts out of the original and didn't offer anything decent in place of it? and then choosing a "ha ha gotcha" ending rather than committing to closure? the more i sit on how the story used its female characters, the more unpleasant i feel about it? truly a bad experience for yours truly.

    #the green knight spoilers /// #don't reb//g #i am so worked up about Morgana like i do not understand
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  • kravinoffs
    13.06.2021 - 11 monts ago

    how mad would people be if i ... didn’t write the previously promised p*rnography

    #don't reb//g #i'm writing around it right now i am just tired #i'll delete this later
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  • kravinoffs
    12.06.2021 - 11 monts ago

    creative original process is just having a barebones idea that you know is too simple to work yet, then going BLAH BLAH BLAH into a word document until your idea is TOO complicated, and then realizing you have to slice it all down again.

    i spent a lot of time fretting along the lines of: “this would be too mean” or “this might be mistaken for something gross” or “this is too dramatic” and i think it’s made the characters kind of toothless? likewise, being too afraid of my main character being overdramatic or “cliche” that he’s passive and bland rather than layered. i gave all these traits/places in the world to other characters when they should just belong to... him. it’s weird to realizing i’m stepping backward in my design process and it basically comes down to “everyone can be a little mean... as a treat.”

    anyway. there’s some moral here. don’t doubt yourself or something. 

    #(not really but you know what i mean) #don't reb///g i'm just yapping into a void
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  • grox
    26.05.2021 - 11 monts ago

    Ratboy genius wouldn't be as good if the guythat made it wasn't an antivaxxer

    #dont reb)]^ #I don't care about any of this and it's not drama do #nt talk about drama or start nithi g I just think it's very funny and even healthy #to be an antivaxxer in this very soecific instance I don't care I'll excuse it
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