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> to my main masterlist
!: the one-shots might not be released according to the chronological order of the songs.
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last updated » may 20th, 2022.
𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖎𝖉𝖔𝖑𝖘, 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖎𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘.
𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖐 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖕𝖔𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖜. ⤵️
𝔦. 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫
➳ pairing: shapeshifter!lee minho x witch!reader
➳ genre: angst, dark romance, supernatural | lovers to enemies!au
➳ release date: tba
❝ “in reality, you are but a shadow of my longing,” minho says nonchalantly. “sacrificing you is a small price to pay for something as great as my freedom.”
𝔦𝔦. 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔞 𝔣𝔢
➳ pairing: demon hunter!jung wooyoung x healer!reader
➳ genre: heavy angst, romance, supernatural, mystery, suspense | lovers to strangers!au
➳ release date: tba
❝ it went without saying that this had been the closest thing to a declaration of love that you had ever uttered to him. “you made me want to idealise you,” you repeated. wooyoung smiled as if he understood, but little did you know that what bloomed inside his chest was nothing but bitterness.
❝ “what you’re still not fully aware of is that behind this smiling face of mine you kiss so adoringly, i tick like a bomb that could go off at any given moment.”
➳ pairing: byun baekhyun x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “they told me ‘you turned into everything you said you wouldn’t be’ when i finally confronted them. so i told them that i actually turned into everything they feared i would become — a person they couldn’t control anymore.”
𝔳. 𝔤𝔦𝔯𝔩 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔤𝔲𝔫
➳ pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “that’s the twisted thing about life sometimes. you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses.”
𝔳𝔦. 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔰𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰
➳ pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ he was stained with dreams and you held the whole night sky in your eyes, like a vault to your inner world.
➳ pairing: chwe hansol x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “you must be quite strange yourself to end up falling for someone like me.”
➳ pairing: bang chan x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “all time froze where you had touched me. i’ve been trying to revive my heart ever since.”
➳ pairing: lee taeyong x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “i don’t want to keep waking up in empty rooms full of ashes and ghosts.”
➳ pairing: nakamoto yuta x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “don’t you know me by now?” yuta asks almost irritatedly, as if he were bothered by the fact that he had to remind you of his most obvious personal truth. “i’m the biggest self-saboteur you’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.”
𝔵𝔦. 𝔦’𝔪 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔞 𝔴𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫, 𝔦’𝔪 𝔞 𝔤𝔬𝔡
➳ pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “they called us women tainted for pricking them and fighting back when we were wronged,” you explained. “but they never understood that thorns never took the beauty away from roses.”
𝔵𝔦𝔦. 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢
➳ pairing: kim hongjoong x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “you said you didn’t want to lose me, but you weren’t even trying to keep me, hongjoong. that was the moment i knew it was time to let you go.”
➳ pairing: park seonghwa x fem!reader
➳ genre: tba
➳ release date: tba
❝ “you still exist in the shadows of me.”
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 — all works are purely fictional. i do not own famous character(s) such as idols and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way.
I just want to thank everyone who took out their time to read my fics. Seeing your reactions and appreciation makes me wanna write even more! So I’ll be doing this thing wherein you can select a prompt, or more and I’ll write a fic on it. Y’all know how it goes.
Make sure to let me know:
the prompt/prompt number(s)
the idol you want it with (any kpop idol you’d want, I don’t mind writing for anyone)
also, you can provide more details and genres you’d want or leave it up to me with the prompt itself!
“Need help getting out of those clothes?”
“I gave you my heart. You weren’t suppose to give it back.”
“All you get is me. I can’t promise you more than that.”
“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
“Is that what you call an apology?”
“It was all just a game for you, wasn’t it?”
"I learned that people leave, even if they want to stay, even if they promised a million times they wouldn't."
"You know what's funny? You're once the reason why I stayed alive "
“Being in love with you is scary… not that you’re scary, of course, but that I’d fuck this thing up,”
"Did any of these assholes mess with you?"
“what.... what’s happening?”
“Did you block my number again?”
“Pfft, it’s ok, you don’t have to lie. I know this place is horrible, but unfortunately I don’t actually have any other options. For the moment, this is home.”
“Why did you stop? Aren’t you going to kill me too?”
“....Well this is quite awkward.”
“Don’t ruin the sofa, please.”
“Shut up, I’m trying to fuck you.”
“I think I hated you just because I knew I couldn’t have you”
“I’m actually kinda offended, that you didn’t ask me to be your fake date.”
"Not even going to look at me, are you?"
“Hang on. Where’s the baby?”
“There’s blood everywhere.”
“I love you! No time to explain – gotta go.”
“Give me the remote.”
“When was the last time we had a real conversation.”
“In my next life, I want to come back as a butterfly.”
“I’ve been thinking we should move to Alaska.”
“You’d be late for your own funeral.”
“Why do you have that look on your face?”
“We could get caught, what if someone bashes in!?”
“If this is your way of flirting, you’re doing a terrible job at it.”
“I don’t think you understand just how much you’ve already done.”
“It’s blood, not nuclear waste. Chill out”
“Are you sure there isn’t more I can do?”
“Well thanks to you, there is another Taco Bell that banned us for life”
PLUS: In case these don’t really suit your taste and you have some other prompt in mind, feel free to send that it in!
I’ll be looking forward to your requests! Please feel free to do so, I would love to bring your ideas into words!! <3
The sun rose a little early the next day. It probably shone a little brighter too. Whatever was the reason, Baekhyun had woken up from the first of many no nightmare sleeps that day. Opening his eyes before his dreaded alarm went off, his brain immediately took him to the recap the night earlier.
She had said yes. Yes! But it came with a catch. She needed time to move on completely, and he respected that, probably respected her even more for being so thoughtful for both herself and him. It was crazy to him how one day and the courage to act, take a step (albeit a tiny one) could do wonders.
Just as he had done years ago when he first asked her out.
Feeling excessively chirpy, he woke up to make her breakfast- maybe his special omelette rice? She would love that, wouldn't she? To his surprise, she was already in the kitchen, fully dressed, sipping on a coffee on her laptop, typing furiously.
“Good Morning.”, he sang, catching himself from stooping low to kiss her. Nope, they were not in that phase yet.
Thankfully, she hadn't seen that little manoeuvre of his.
“Hey! Sorry I couldn't make any breakfast. I need to run to the office in a while.”
“That's not a problem! Although, I can make you a little something before you leave. I know how cranky you are about breakfast.”, he cooed in front of her.
She looked at him with utmost adoration, “It’s fine, really. I’ll be stopping by Minseok’s cafe and…” she trailed off, mumbling, making Baekhyun lean in to listen closely.
“And? What was that? I missed that.”
She looked at him expressionlessly and, taking a huge breath, continued, “I have to meet Jaebeom. He called last night. Apologized for walking out and wanted to mend things.”
He didn't respond to that. Washing a few cups and with his back towards her, he asked, “And are you getting back together?” in the most nonchalant voice possible.
“I don't know.”
The words penetrated him like a dagger through the heart. Trying to keep a calm voice, he continued, “Are you trying to get back at me? Is this a Let us torture Baekhyun session? Did I think our conversation last night pointed in a different direction? Or was I dreaming?”
“We agreed that we’ll think about it. But that still means I will have to talk to Jaebeom. I dated the man for eight months; you didn't think those feelings would disappear overnight because you say you want me again, right?”
“Why can't you meet him here?”
“What? At your house?” she asked, surprised.
“Yeah. What is the problem? Are you afraid that I will find out how much you love each other? Geez.”, he fumed.
“I was being considerate. Would you think he will be okay with me staying with you here?....”
“And what about me?”, he sounded hurt by her pure ignorance, “what about I would feel in any scenario? Looks like I have been put out of the picture of everyones life.”
“You know that isn't true.”
He did not answer. Baekhyun was tired of being second place. He quietly left the kitchen, leaving Hye hee feeling guilty for saying what she had said. As she walked over to the bus stop, realization hit her that perhaps the way things were said werent exactly right. Baekjhyun was very sensitive at the moment and anything she said would only aggravate the situation. What was most absurd to her was that she was finding it excessively difficult to come to a conclusion about her feelings. Last night, she did want to give baekhyun and her another shot. But she wasn't able to let Jaebeom go. Her brain was muddled with the two men. She sighed thinking about the mess she was sucked deep into- two guys? She had outdone herself.
Getting off at the intersection close to the cafe, she walked a bit to find Minseok unloading milk and bread of a truck into his cafe. It felt good to see a friendly face once again. He caught her eye and put down the carton of bread to send across the brightest smile and activvely wave at her with both his arms high in the air. Hye hee ran the distance, hugging her friend. Oh, how she had missed the earlier days of pointless banter over plots and coffee.
“Why, hello, miss!”, he exclaimed, engulfing her into a tight hug.
“Ugh, i missed you. I missed this place!”, she snuggled into him.
“Well, the place is always grounded here and so am i. You've just forgotten about us missy.”, he accused, picking up his carton again. Hyehhe got the door for him and followed him in. The place was still the same and that gave her comfort. Minseok wasn't for updos and he only added more plants and a few lights here and there, apart from that, the smell, the photo corner, the planty corner and the front desk all seemed cozily familiar.
Hye hee waited in her corner spot, sipping on a ‘in-house special’ coffee, while Minseok loaded and paid the delivery man.
“Okay, fill me in.”,he was determined to hear her out.
“Jaebeom and I broke up.”
“I left Jane’s to go over to Baekhyun’s, because i didn't want to stay there.”
“...uh.. Okay?”He seemed confused already.
“Baekhyun wants to start dating again.”
“That's great, no?”, he sounded confused by her tone of absolute blankness.
“Yeah, thats what I thought too. But now Jaebeom wants to get back together…”
“Ooh, arent we miss popular now.”, he smirked grabbing the coffee in front of her.
“Minseok, do not laugh.”
“What’s the issue? Do you not like Baekhyun anymore?”, he asked.
“No. I do. But as it seems, I can't seem to get over Jaebeom too.”
“Thats only normal.”, he said, sipping coffee.
Hye hee did not get his lack of ability to grasp the situation in front of her. Oh, how she missed Jane during times like these.
“And Jane isn't talking to me.”
“You dumped her brother.”
“Jaebeom is coming over in an hour. We agreed to meet here. Baekhyun is already mad that i am.”
“What did you expect? For him to jump with joy? Read about his divorce, the guy has a rough life ahead of him.”
“He’s in a bad place, yes.”, she mumbled.
“hye hee, do you love him?”, he asked, looking into her eyes.
“I do. I can't think of anyone but him. But isn't this weird? Its only been a day after my break up and I go jump into his arms? Isn't that an insult to Jaebeom?”
“You have answered your question yourself. What you feel for Jaebeom is more of the attachment. He was someone very important in your life after a long time Hye hee. It is only natural for you to want to be in his life too. But you have to make the decision here, you do care about? Who can't you live without?”
Hye hee quieted down at his words, pondering over what he said.
“Like for example, you clearly cannot live with me and this cafe.”, he giggled.
“Oh, shut up, you.”
“Alright, I’m going to leave you here with this coffee and time to think, while I clean up this place. I have a date coming over later this evening.”, he smiled.
"Whoa, there! What was that?", She quickly asked for clarification.
"Date what? Hello? Who's going to fill me in on what's happening?", She laughed.
"Look at you all giddy already. Her name is Lim ji yeong, and she's a professor at SNU. We met at a party and… she's interesting. We've met a couple of times and today she's coming over to the cafe to look at… how it functions…"
"You. She's coming to see you.. and it's a weekend. A university professor who takes time out of her precious free days to see you. Minseok, this is serious!"She laughed.
"Oh.. i don't know..”, he said, unable to keep a straight face.
“Well I do. This is great!”
“I would love for you to meet her sometime. She is going to come over just before noon if you're still here.”
Hye hee was happy for Minseok. It had been a while since she had seen him this excited over somebody. Most of his blind dates were always too clingy or too boring for him.
“I would love to meet her.”, she said grinning at Minseok’s embarrassed face.
He nodded in agreement before gaily taking huge steps across the cafe floor. Checking her watch Hye hee began to introspect, as it seems, taking decisions does not honor a time constraint. Time scrolled by as she tried to sort the muddled webs in her brain, and each time she picked a thread, it was indeed that which belonged to him.
Baekhyun. He was indomitably a part of her she would not and could not give up. It felt like a piece of her heart was being traded for, suppressed, and rotting almost. The thought was horrifying. At times one did not really need to answer all the questions; it was the only one that mattered. The one unforgettable.
Jaebeom was on time. A quality she had grown to adore. Unlike his sister who always had to called upon two hours in advance and made plans. Not her fault, she always quite seemed to have something up her sleeve which could not be passed on.
He had dressed casually, like he always did. He didn't really have dressier clothes, except maybe a few pairs of suits(again all black). Smiling brightly, Jaebeom found her easily. He walked quickly, almost swooping in for a kiss, which she ducked ever so lightly. Jaebeom read her quite well after that.
Something had changed. Her body language seemed distanced.
She wasn't his, anymore.
“Hi.”, she meekily said as she met his eyes. Guilt filled. She was too easy to read indeed.
Taking a long breath, he looked around before uttering, “so? Where are you staying?”
“At.. Baekhyun’s. Just briefly. I’m hunting for an apartment mean while.”, she gulped.
He only smirked at that, throwing his head back, chuckling at the thought.
Hye hee only watched him and from the corner of her eye she found Minseok glancing her way every now and then between serves.
“SO.. one fight and you go running back to your beloved?”, he carelessly muttered, all the while looking out the window.
“I just didn't know where to go. Jane is your sister, and I…”
“Do I seem like a plaything to you?”, he cut her off before she could continue.
“So what? You begged him to take you back? Your celebrity boyfriend?”
“Ofcourse not. We did date but he is also my friend.”
“Right. So you got what you needed and now you're making your way back to that bastard.”
“You used me. Didn't you? Got his attention, and now when he is available again, you have conned me into believing that it was MY idea to break up with you.”,his voice rose slightly, making the people in the cafe give a glance at them. Minseok seemed tense at this event, fiddling with his phone, wondering whom to call incase she was in danger.
“I did not. I did like you. You were indeed my first boyfriend after him and I…” she broke into tears, trying very hard to not sob in a room full of strangers.
“Oh shut up! I very well am aware of how you women con men to get through ends.” he hissed.
This was a side she was very unaware of. Jane had told her about her brother’s temper long when they hadn't been best friends. He had gotten better at controlling it after his last break up with his long term girlfriend.
Or maybe not at all.
“You, are not getting away from this. Think you can just throw me a dumpster and run off with that rich boy, huh? I will ensure that is the last thing you ever do.”
He got up violently and held her wrist tight to drag her out of her chair. The room filled with Hye hee’s screams and the people in the cafe moved away in fear.
Minseok, who had been filling orders, shocked at the shrill voice, snapped in their direction, shattering a glass as he quickly ran towards them.
“Sir! You cannot just behave this way here…”, he intruded between them.
Jaebeom was not in the mood to be schooled then.
“SIR! I will have to ask you leave the cafe immediately and are banned from the premises.”, Minseok was using all his power to separate them, his hands around Jaebeom’s collar.
Jaebeom was so overcome with rage, that he did not even glance at him, his eyes shooting arrows at Hye hee.
Minseok finally overpowered him enough to throw him out of the room. Hye hee stood horrified. Minseok returned, and sat her down, holding her hand up to examine the bruise on her wrist. She couldn't hear him. All sounds seemed to be muffled to her ears. He left her side briefly to bring her a glass of water and had her take in a few sips.
Everything happened so fast. Only a few moments ago she was pondering how she would let him go and now this. An ache brought her attention back to reality and she looked down at her arm. A tear dropped on the red bruise marks and she could not stop herself from breaking down.
Minseok took her to his room inside, his first aid box out. He iced the wound before applying an ointment. Both did not utter a word, while Hye hee softly sobbed all along. Minseok looked at her, his eyes filled with pain, his palm carressing her cheek softly, as he spoke, “Rest here. He’ll be here soon.”, leaving to attend his customers who were at the door, curious and wondering if she was alright.
Hye hee glanced at her wrist once again and the tears wouldn't stop. She wondered if the tears responded to the physical pain or that of the heart. The back door swung open and she felt a familiar scent and arms envelop her.
He was here.
“Hye hee, are you alright?”, his voice shook with worry.
Finding her bright bruised wrist, his jaw clenched in anger. He caressed her arm, sitting beside her on the very chair he had sat on when he had met her again after so many years.
“He did this to you?”, he grunted.
“He didn't like that I was staying with you.”
“Where does this asshole live, I’ll show him…”, he shook with anger, eyes filled with vengeance.
Hye hee couldn't bring herself to say anything. She only buried herself in his shoulder and cried uncontrollably. It hurt baekhyun to watch her weep the way she did, but all he could do for now was stay close. The two sat in eachother’s embrace for quite some time.
As Jaebeom walked in, he shot hye hee a smile, wondering if he was the one she had been waiting for. She was not looking at him. He busied himself in taking orders, occasionally glancing in their direction. Somehow, it didn't seem as though the two were amicable. Voices rose once a while and minseok began worrying about the trajectory of their discussion. When he first seemed to be mad, he almost picked up the phone to dial for the local police, but thought he could be overreacting.
Thats when it struck him, he scrolled through his contacts to find it: B-Hyehee. The contact glowed on his screen.
He had come here so often looking for hye hee, even after they had met, that one day Minseok made up his mind to just speak to him.
Handing him his ice coffee (with barely any coffee, it was embarrassing to serve him as a barista).
“Are you here looking for her again?”, he whispered.
Baekhyun’s head snapped in his direction as he began glancing around nervously to check if anyone had recognised him.
Minseok rolled his eyes at him. “Really? Did you think you were that well camouflaged? I met you once and didn't catch your face that well, and it is easy for me to spot you amongst many, also no thanks to your absolutely great dressing sense of black overalls.”
“They are sweats. Not overalls.”, Baekhyun defended.
“Whatever the hell they are. She won't be here today. Stopped by yesterday already.”
“How about you tell me when she visits?”
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“Because I miss her.”. A simple sentence. Minseok would not have paid heed to that. But something about the way he said it made him trust.
He had typed in his number in Minseok’s that evening. Baekhyun wondered how easily he had given out his number to a stranger. For a moment, he had returned to being Baekhyun, a young man from Baekhyun, a K-pop sensation.
Minseok quickly dialled him for the first time in his life. A surprised voice met him on the other end.
“Yes? Who is this?”
Minseok hastily introduced himself before informing him of the dangerous rise of events unfolding in front of him. He had barely finished his sentence before the line went dead. Minseok was positive he was hurrying over. A wave of comfort was only washing over him when he heard hye hee scream in terror and pain.
SUMMARY: kyungsoo never had a reason to believe that you'd ever leave him, until he realised that you were practically already gone.
GENRE: fwb au, angst
TAGS: kissing, a little cursing, happy ending
The signs were all there. How could he miss it? How could he miss the fact that you were leaving him?
Not that you were ever his to begin with. At least, not officially, but it felt like it, and it had for a very long time. You practically lived together; you only went back to your apartment a few days out of the week. You’ve met each other’s parents, and you’ve even discussed marriage. Not to each other, of course; just the possibility of it happening in the future.
But who was he kidding? He had you in mind the entire time he spoke, with your head on his chest, fingers trailing up and down his bare stomach. He was just too afraid to make it official, afraid to fall in love again.
With your current arrangement, it was acceptable to see other people, to basically do whatever you wanted. He hadn’t had any interest in being with anyone else for a long time, but he didn’t want to put a label on the relationship, simply because you wouldn’t technically be cheating if you found yourself in someone else’s arms. He never wanted to feel the betrayal of infidelity again, and this was his safety net.
But it was no longer safe. He had already fallen in love with you, more than he could even begin to express. He loved waking up beside you every morning, he loved the way you would squeeze his hand every time you got excited, he loved the way you would look into his eyes and bat your eyelashes right before you complimented him.
Which was why he had to take some distance. He’d crawl out of bed in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch instead, just so he wouldn’t end up holding you close to him throughout the entire night. Conversations didn’t last for more than a few minutes, because he hardly gave any input anymore, only replying with hums and slight nods. Eventually, that lead to you spending a loss less time at his place.
Things were far from the same, but he felt a bit of relief; maybe he could finally get over you and stop feeling so confused and fearful. But, he also felt miserable. He missed all the things you used to do together, and he hated watching you hang your head and sigh whenever he practically ignored you. But it was for the best.
Or, that’s what thought, up until he noticed that your favourite bedroom slippers weren’t in their usual spot. They’d always been there for as long as he could remember. You always kept them at his apartment because you were here the most, and they were the most comfortable pair you had.
They were nowhere to be found. He searched the entire apartment from top to bottom, practically tore everything apart just to find them. That was when he realised that it wasn’t just your bedroom slippers that were missing — it was nearly everything that you’d ever brought here.
How long had you been moving out? How long had you been thinking of leaving him? It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him.
Maybe he’d gone too far — no, he did go too far. He could only imagine how much his actions had hurt you.
He quickly went to his phone. He needed to hear your voice, needed to know what the fuck was going on. You couldn’t answer the phone fast enough, nervously biting his lip as he waited for you to pick up.
Then you answered with a soft ‘hello,’ and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Hi, babe. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. How are you?”
“Hey, Kyungsoo.” He had to hold back a sigh. You hardly ever called him by his full name. “I’m… alright, I guess.”
It was almost like you were strangers. Like the past two years meant absolutely nothing. But, he guessed that was how you felt when he went out of his way to make you feel like you weren’t important to him.
He couldn’t keep this up anymore. He had to mention the state of your relationship. “Your stuff is gone,” he said over the lump in his throat. “Well, most of it.”
There was a long stretch of silence before you spoke again. “Soo, um… Do you want to talk about this in person?”
Hearing that was enough confirmation that you really did intend to leave, but he just had to see you again if this was really over. “Yes, I do.”
“I’ll come by later, then, and we’ll talk about it. I have to go now.”
“Alright,” he said, and you hung up before he could finish the word completely. He sighed, slowly removing the phone from his ear. “I’ll see you later.”
Hours had passed, and the sun was almost fully submerged beneath the horizon when you knocked on his door. He quickly got up to open it, heart racing in his chest, palms clammy as he twisted the doorknob.
You stood there, feigning a smile for only a second, letting it fall as you walked past him, into the apartment.
You settled onto the couch, shoulders slumped as you let out a heavy sigh. He already knew what was coming, and he thought he was prepared for it, but he was far from ready to hear it. Just the thought was enough to make his stomach twist so hard that he nearly buckled over.
He sat next to you, and he fought the urge to bring your hand in his. Considering the circumstances, it probably wasn’t appropriate. He just kept his hands folded in his lap, nervously twiddling his thumbs as he waited for you to speak.
“This… whatever it is… has been going on for two years now, and I was fine with it. I wasn’t ready for commitment at the time, and neither were you; it worked for us.”
You took a pause, blinking rapidly as you looked up. You were about to cry, and he knew it. That was when he reached for your hand, brushing his thumb against the back of it. You held on to him tightly, to his surprise.
“I don’t know when, but at some point, I… fell in love with you,” you said, brows knitted together.
He didn’t know what he felt in that moment. His heart began to beat out of his chest, and his hands shook so much that he was sure that you could feel it. He couldn’t believe that you felt the same way, and that he pushed you away and ruined everything between you for no reason. “You… you love me,” he whispered, looking down at your intertwined hands.
“I never said anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we had, and I thought we were more or less in a relationship anyway, just without a title. I thought it wasn’t important, but I was wrong.” You let out a sigh, pulling your hand away from him, looking directly into his eyes. “I don’t know what I did wrong, but you got distant, and that’s when I realised that it was important, and that you didn’t see this as an actual relationship like I did.”
He wanted to let you finish speaking, but he had to interject, because you were so, so wrong. Despite how much he’d hurt you, he loved you so much and he hated the mere thought of losing you. “I love you, too,” he confessed. “I also saw us as a real couple, but I just didn’t know that you felt the same way. So, I kind of… distanced myself so I wouldn’t get hurt if you eventually slept with someone else. I’m so sorry that I hurt you in process to protect myself. I was being an idiot.”
You sat silently for a moment, mouth slightly ajar as you struggled to find your words. Then, you slowly found his hand again, lacing your fingers between his. “Do you really love me?”
He felt himself relax at the sound of your voice, nodding with a small smile on his face. “I didn’t think I’d tell you like this; in fact, I didn't think I'd tell you at all, but yes, I do love you,” he said. “So… where do we go from here? Do we start over? Pick up where we left off?” His body tensed up again as a thought crossed his mind, and as much as he’d respect your decision regardless, he hoped that it wasn’t what you’d choose. “Are you still leaving?”
It took a moment, but eventually, you shook your head, holding his hand tighter. “Make it official,” you said, looking deeply into his eyes. “Tell me I’m yours.”
You didn’t have to say it twice. He smiled, bringing his other hand up to caress your cheek. “I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours,” he whispered, leaning in closer. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
And with a hushed ‘yes,’ you bridged the gap between you, lips brushing against his with a familiar tenderness, and he melted into it.
He missed letting himself get lost in this feeling. He no longer had to pretend that his stomach didn’t flip every time you kissed him, that his legs didn’t turn to jelly whenever you placed your hand on his chest, and he'd make sure that he'd never do anything to comprise this feeling again if it was the last thing he did.
Summary: What could one week change in a casual friendship between a woman and a man? Sehun–the friend who unabashedly flirts and banters with you in the guise of friendship. Junmyeon–the friend who tried to woo you once, but now was just content in maintaining a casual friendship with you. When Sehun proposed a one-week relationship with you, you found yourself unearthing feelings for him you never thought were there. When Junmyeon ended up in a one-week study program abroad with you, you found yourself realizing that he just might be the guy you have been searching all your life.
But all you have is one week.
One week to figure out who is “the one”.
You looked to your right, and the bright face of Junmyeon came greeting you, his smile shining through the dusk of six o'clock.
You smiled at him and nodded, but nonetheless continued walking to the direction of the train station, not minding his car slowly matching your even pace.
"May I walk you home?"
You looked at him again, and this time, laughed loudly more than you wanted to. Not only because of the fact that he can't exactly "walk" you home, as you're pretty sure you're going to ride his car.
But also because it has been years since somebody offered to walk you home.
"I've got a long way ahead of me, my friend."
Junmyeon's face scrunched at the label given to him. At least she sees me as a friend. Gotta start somewhere.
The sound of his voice was enough to persuade you, but looking at him again--his lips, now slightly pouting at you, as if he will be sulking all evening if you reject his request--was the point that completely changed your mind.
And when you opened the door to his car, the smile that was growing on your face grew even wider.
"Can you advise me on something?"
You gave a glance at Junmyeon's side profile, his left hand on the steering wheel, and his right, comfortably deposited on his thigh. You may have probably been staring for too long, that he looked at you momentarily as if to recheck if you have heard him.
"Okay," you say rather gently.
You looked at him again, noticing the toothy smile he unconsciously gave at the sound of your voice.
"What would you do if the person you have liked for years have not reciprocated nor noticed your affection for him?"
You don't know why it happened, but at Junmyeon's question, Sehun's face quickly flashed before your mind. You shook your head a little in an effort to physically erase his image from your head, but Junmyeon was too quick to notice the gesture.
"Do you think something's might be wrong with me? Do you think I ought to change something about me?" Junmyeon added.
And at that, Sehun popped in your mind again, your own brain cells intent in making you believe that the question begs for a quick roundtrip ride about you and Sehun's history.
Which only existed per your account.
"Once upon a time," you begin, which made Junmyeon glance at you interestingly, and to be honest, quite confusingly, "I liked a guy."
A guy, Junmyeon repeated in his mind. She has once liked a guy. That's normal right? He debates in his head.
"Or I thought, I liked him.
"I thought I liked him as more than a friend."
And with that, Sehun's face popped in Junmyeon's head. He tried to think of all the other guy friends you have in university, but then realized that no one else comes close to the position Sehun held in your life.
But no, she might have other friends, Junmyeon rationalizes, even though he knows that he might be a little in denial with this.
"One day, it just dawned on me that I liked him," you start again. "From that little seed of affection, a flower fully bloomed in my chest, hoping that maybe--just maybe--one day, he will see me, not as a friend, but as a woman.
"From there, I started dressing up for him. I bought summer dresses with sweetheart necklines, because he said I looked good on them. I wore my hair down because he mentioned in more than one occasion that I looked more natural with it than with my ponytail--" you paused, as Junmyeon gave an almost inaudible "ponytails are great", to which you gave him a grin. "So, I basically did everything I thought would make him like me.
"For months, I've tried to secretly make him like me. There are times when I think I looked super good, but then he would be cold and very indifferent, as if he didn’t compliment me last week for the floral dress I was wearing, though my legs are begging to be in jeans." You bit your lip, remembering that time Sehun didn't even return your "hi" your light blue wrap dress swaying with the wind, as he deposited himself nonchalantly on a chair and texted furiously on his phone.
"I often make excuses him--maybe he's just tired. Maybe he's just going through some personal things that's why he's not noticing me lately.
"I also made an effort to pay extra attention to other girls he hang out with. And that's when the self-blames happened--I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, something is wrong with me, you know?" You say, completely oblivious to Junmyeon's jaw tightening with the words you just said. "Maybe I just have to change myself--my demeanor, my behaviour, even the way I speak--for him to like me.
"But then one day, I was supposed to meet him for a rather romantic--or I guess, it was at least romantic for me--" you laughed, remembering the disillusion you were in a few years ago. "I was dressed to the nines--I even bought new underwear for that occasion because I really felt like it was the right time for him to realize that the girl he has been looking for--it's me, and I'm just right there in front of him, ready for him to take.
"But when he showed up to our favorite restaurant, with his arms interlinked with a girl whose dress was definitely way fancier than mine, and wearing her hear in a low messy updo--someone whose style was completely different from the one I thought he liked--I felt cold. I felt like freezing water has been poured over me, and I was able to see things clearly for the first time."
You looked at Junmyeon, who by then, has stopped in the car over the side of the road and whose eyes were already on yours. "It was then when I realized that nothing's wrong with him.
"Most especially, nothing's wrong with me.
"The truth is that, he just doesn’t like me that way."
Junmyeon didn't know how to feel. He felt foolish at asking the question. But he likewise felt somehow relieved to hear your realization that you are fine--perfect in his eyes, even--and nothing's wrong with you.
"I was just unlucky that I am not his type."
"Is that why you rejected my advances before?"
"Because you simply did not like me?"
You turned to Junmyeon. Fortunately, a sly smile was playing on his lips, making you realize that he was having his fun on this.
You sighed, staring at the long winding road before you.
"They say that couples who have broken up need at least three months to recover before they enter into yet another relationship. It's infamously called as the '3-month rule,'" you explained.
"Otherwise, a rebound relationship is bound to happen, which will hurt the recently broken person more, putting his in more misery than he was before."
At this, you looked at him and said, "When you tirelessly invited me to coffee dates for a month, you and Geuhui have just been broken up for two months, Junmyeon."
Junmyeon's head turned so fast you thought he had whiplash, his mouth slightly opened, as if you just landed a bomb on him.
"I did not reject you.
"I just wanted to wait the three-month period.
"I just wanted to protect you from a likely painful rebound relationship with me."
"Minseok hyung? It's late--why are you still here?" Sehun called out to the guy staring at the empty parking lot and scratching his head in confusion.
"Well, I called Junmyeon to pick me up here at six o'clock," he explains, "But I don’t know where the hell he went to. I told him to fetch me at exactly six because I was supposed to meet someone."
Sehun laughed at Minseok's misery. He pulled his phone out from his trusty leather satchel, deciding to wait with his hyung for Junmyeon.
"Ah the motherfucker."
Sehun turned to Minseok, but stopped before he could even begin to walk to his hyung's direction.
Because there, glowing in Minseok's phone, is the answer why Junmyeon couldn't be here tonight.
"He picked up Y/N, instead of picking me up!" Minseok exclaimed, staring at the photo posted by Suho in his IG stories, with him and Y/N singing to Chelsea Cutler and Noah Kahan's "Crazier".
But Sehun has become oblivious to all of these already, his ears glowing red in jealousy, his steps quick to hatch his most awaited plan.
One that he has been thinking every night. One that he has kept and suppressed all these years.
It was midnight, and you are just preparing to go to bed when the doorbell to your unit rang.
Could it be Junmyeon? You ask yourself, thinking you might have left something at his car.
But when you opened the door it was Sehun.
Speaking of the devil, you couldn’t help thinking, as you remembered tonight's conversation with Junmyeon.
You just didn’t realize just how close that conversation could be related so much to tonight's events when he said his next words.
Or no--maybe overturn is the more appropriate term.
Because what he said next completely overturned what you thought was an absolutely plain friendship between the two of you.
"Date me for one week."
You were too stunned to speak and didn't reply.
And so he repeated the words.
"Date me for one week, Y/N. Date me for a week and I will walk you home every goddamn night."
After the boys left that evening and a brief phone call with Sarang and Taeyeon, Baekhyun noticed that Hye hee had been awfully quiet for hours huddled in her room. He was in half mind, pacing back and forth in the living room. What had she meant when she said she walked out of her relationship because of him? It certainly didn't seem so earlier that night with them glued to each other. The thought annoyed him but he quickly brushed it off. What was he to do? Now? Now that he was so close to her, overnight, it made no sense. It didn't give him enough time to think his actions through, or even what would be best for the two of them. He certainly couldn't jump back into a relationship, when just dealing with a divorce. But again, he was technically single for a while now, at least in his head. It wouldn't be right to bring this up or drop hints about this with Hye hee. He wasn't in love but she had been.
Was she really in love with him?
Was he really just coming in the way of her life, thirdwheeling in her life, just when she was beginning to be happy. Baekhyun shook his head and the intrusive thoughts that seemed to not stop passing by made him question anything and everything he had ever done. Sure, he had made mistakes but did that mean he didn't deserve to be happy anymore; even more so, with the one girl he had loved and then shattered all the same.
I will not give up. I love her, and I think she loves me too. Does she not? Or is the thought of him being part of her life again something excruciating for her?
He knocked at her door lightly before hearing noises of her sniffling softly.
“Hye hee? You okay?” he carefully asked, peeping through the one inch of the opening.
She looked terrible. Wiping her already red nose on her sleeve, she sat upon being approached.
“I’m fine. I just spoke to Jane. she was distraught that I broke up with her brother, worse that I moved in with you.”
“That's hardly a reason. You didn't have a place to stay. Isn't she being a little too rude…” he tried reasoning.
“I don't blame her. It was her brother, and he wasn't particularly in a good space emotionally. Jane was finally happy to have her brother close enough to feel like a family again”, she stopped to whimper, “and I ruined it again for them. I wish I hadn't ever dated him or agreed to date him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have lost my best friend over something so trivial.”
Baekhyun stayed quiet, just holding her hand, trying to calm herself down.
Thanks, is all she could mutter. Baekhyun’s mind was already guilt-tripping him throughout.
He had been the one to make her weep this way years ago, and he wasn't there to console her.
“Dinner?” he asked, his voice breaking.
“You do not have to worry about me. I’ll start apartment hunting tomorrow and be out of your hair soon.”
“You want to leave? Why? This place is big enough for you to live comfortably….”
“I doubt Taeyeon and your daughter would be thrilled to find me in your house days after she left.”
Baekhyun fumed. When he didn't answer her, she continued, “I don't want to be a nuisance to you….”
“It's me who has been one for you, though, haven't I? I muddled in your relationship and your friendship. It has been me who had made you unhappy years ago, and again, it's me who breaks you once again….”
“Why would you break my relationship? This is my problem and hardly yours.” hye hee spoke, her voice crystal clear.
“You told me you broke up because of me…what was I supposed to…”, Baekhyun was cut off.
Hye hee seemed like she had had enough. Facing him, she began enunciating her situation. Baekhyun was in for a wild ride that evening.
“I’m so sick of you behaving this way, Baek. Do you want to know? Well, yes. I was afraid of being in a relationship for the longest time to the point I just enjoyed my own company too much. Truth being, I kept looking for you in everyone. You would think this would stop someday after many years, but it doesn't! It just kept getting harder. Jaebeom made me feel safe, but as I experienced yesterday, it still doesn't seem to affect me! I’m still hung up on you! I was fucking feeling your arms wrapped around me the entire time! But I don't blame you for this! My head doesn't seem to stop craving you every time. I was mad at you for breaking my heart but never for not being able to move on! That's all me.” she breathed heavily after her rant. It felt good to let all that out of the chest.
“Just shut up and cook something for me. I’m hungry and have a headache.”
Mumbling a soft, “yes, ma'am”, Baekhyun left as confused as ever. Half giddy that she loved him and half annoyed with himself, the man began making her favourite kimbap rolls she loved when she had these migraines.
Hye hee took a hot shower to calm her nerves and her migraine. All the crying and the yelling did no good for her. She was tired and hungry. Baekhyun had already set the table before the tv when she headed downstairs.
They ate quietly, the tv show filling the silence between them. Years after it all, it seemed like they had returned to their younger selves, who so often bickered. Both of them had been headstrong, and though Hye hee had softened with age, her old self was peeking through the blinds again. It was as though it needed an outlet, a safe space to bloom again. She had been too careful with Jaebeom, and that should have been a hint of how it would end. With Jane and Minseok, she was often spicy because they knew her well.
“There’s more in the kitchen.”, baekhyun being the first to speak as he noticed she had quickly cleared her crab kimbap.
“Thanks, I’ll get some more. Would you like seconds?”
“Just two.” he wasn't looking at her, eyes glued to the tv screen.
They cleared the entire platter, and Baekhyun had learnt to cook quite well. Necessity was the mother of all inventions, indeed. As the tv show played on, the two found themselves chuckling to the punchlines, surprising each other.
“The shows are still funny, ain't it?”, Baekhyun whispered, smiling.
“Yeah, Yoo JaeSeok is the best indeed.”, she replied, a smile on her face.
Baekhyun glanced at her. The soft light of the tv fell on her face making her face glow in the dim room. Her hair was half dry now, and she looked soft. Something was different. She was carefree. The smile reflected her calm heart, making her look so adorable.
“I wish to start over.”, he blurted without thinking.
“Huh?” she sharply turned at his voice.
“I want to start over. Afresh. A clean slate. However, you want it to be. Just don't leave. I’ll let you make the decisions. Slow, fast or in between, I don't care. Let's quit thinking of how it would be or what troubles would arise, and I’ll get over them with you. I’ll protect you from the world and its evil words. I just need you to have faith in me. Just this once.”
A light appeared at the end of a dark, dingy tunnel. She had waited for this ever since he had cheated on her. For him to come back, no baggage along.
Her cellphone glowed in her room as the two sat discussing their feelings.
Jaebeom: Hye hee.
Jaebeom: I’m sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Let us just talk it out. I miss you. I miss you bad.
Jaebeom: I have to go over to Jane’s soon for her medicines. Let me know if you want to talk. I hope you do and can forgive me this once.
Summary: At the time, it seemed like the smartest decision when you and Baekhyun broke up. You deeply loved each other, but priorities and life were against you, and being together became too hard.
Coming face-to-face with him half a year later, reveals how deep your feelings still are for him, and you're terrified that you'll never be able to move on from him... or that you'll even want to in the end.
Notes: *inspired by this drabble* *italicized parts are flashbacks* *listen to Baekhyun's song Love Again to suffer even more* *Lastly, Happy birthday, Baek!!*
Laughter fills the air as your group of friends tease each other. Focusing mostly on the elusive host of the quickly planned get-together you're attending, Yixing smiles good-naturedly as he willingly takes the jokes being thrown his way. An overwhelming sense of happiness floods you as you watch them all. This is how things should be. You and the people you love relaxing and enjoying life together.
It's been way too long since this group of people has been together like this. Where you've all managed to get away from work and school, and Yixing was able to take time off and fly back to you guys. With Yixing being in a different country, it's hard to come across moments like this, so you cherish them and hold onto them for dear life.
There's just one integral piece of your community missing. If you have to guess, he's probably going to show up any second. Baekhyun never misses it when Yixing comes to town. No matter how busy he is.
Your heart flutters at the thought of seeing your ex again. Of seeing his bright smile grace his face as he laughs at something one of you says. You take a calming breath as you think about Baekhyun and remember that things are different now. That beautiful smile he always sent your way was no longer yours to receive. That reminder alone nearly breaks your heart all over again.
Yixing's laughter greets your ears again, and you pull yourself out of your thoughts to study his face. The pure joy you see on it helps you make a decision you didn't realize you were contemplating. Tonight, you'll push aside the feelings you still have for Baekhyun. You'll pretend that you're fine and unhurt just to keep those smiles on your friends' faces. To not cloud over their night with your angst.
You'll ignore him as much as you can and try to forget about how you're still completely in love with him. How you're actually excited to see him. To see his eyes sparkle as he animatedly speaks to everyone.
After the breakup, you had tried to move on from Baekhyun. You pushed yourself to go on dates - to try to connect with other people - but it just didn't work. You found yourself comparing all of your dates to him and wishing it was him across from you instead of these random strangers. You wished it was Baekhyun sending you good night texts or showing up at your door with flowers, and you felt bad for those poor souls who tried to capture your attention. Unfortunately, your mind was stuck on one person.
A knocking sound on the front door fills the room, and your heart beats wildly in your chest. Yixing gets up from his seat to answer it, and you do your best not to turn around and watch. A chorus of greetings surrounds you as the door opens. Soon, everyone is yelling some variation of hello towards the newcomer. You turn your head toward the door, unable to stand it anymore, and your heart nearly stops as you take in Baekhyun in all his glory. A giant smile is present on his face when he sees Yixing and everyone else behind him.
Somehow, you find yourself anxiously sitting on some stranger’s couch all thanks to your best friend Dabin. The people around you are all very nice and seem lovely, but you've never been good at first meetings. You'd consider yourself an introvert when being introduced to new people, and it took a while to get out of your shell. The only reason you're here is because Dabin is finally meeting her boyfriend's friends, and she dragged you along for moral support.
A knock on the door slightly startles you, and you glance around the room wondering how many more people could possibly be showing up. There are already like 15 of you here. You turn to see who else has just arrived and when your eyes focus on one man, your breath is taken away. He's gorgeous… and the way he lively greets the host enchants you…
You swallow, trying to wet your dry throat as you silently watch him enter the home like he owns the place. Everyone shouts greetings or cheers as he approaches, clearly happy to see him. You feel a part of yourself shrinking as you take in his larger-than-life persona.
His eyes survey the room as he greets everyone, and when they fall on you, they light up with interest. He sends you a sweet smile that has your heart stuttering, and you know right then that this man is trouble.
"Y/N, this is our friend, Baekhyun."
Chanyeol’s voice still replays in your mind as you watch the same scenario unfold before your eyes. There's only one difference this time.
Baekhyun's not alone. His new girlfriend is with him.
Dabin had already warned you about her existence and the possibility that she'd be here tonight, so you were prepared for the most part. Dabin told you they've been together for a month and that it was still relatively new, but that didn't make it hurt any less. That did not mean that it didn't suck seeing them together.
Forcing a light smile on your face, you allow yourself to meet Baekhyun's eyes. They brighten as they find you, much like they did the first time, but that luminesce quickly disappears after a moment. You can see he's holding himself back and making it clear that you're nothing but an old friend. Someone important, but not important enough.
He offers you a small smile in return before his hand reaches toward his girlfriend, and he finds her fingers. If you could crawl further into your body, you would, but you try not to let that show as your gaze falls to her.
She's stunning. A piece of art that looks perfect besides Baekhyun, and from everything Dabin has told you about her, it seems like her personality matches. Good. Baekhyun deserves someone that'll treat him magnificently. He deserves happiness.
The quiet murmurs behind you make you realize that everyone is watching this moment. Even if they're attempting to be subtle - which, you know if you turn around, they're anything but - it feels like the room is collectively holding its breath. They all knew this moment was coming, but none of them knew how to properly approach it, including Baekhyun, who looks just as hesitant as you feel.
His girlfriend steps toward you, breaking the tension in the room and pulling your attention to her. She holds her hand out to you and introduces herself, breaking Baekhyun out of his stupor, so he can finish the introduction.
You lightly shake her hand, seeing no ill-will or malice in her gaze, and find yourself relaxing a bit. When you give her a genuine smile, you visibly see her shoulders relax. Obviously, she's extremely nervous to be meeting all of his friends like this. You knew exactly how that felt, so you didn't need to add any extra stress for her as the ex. You can put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy for their sake as well.
"Thank god that's over."
Chanyeol’s voice helps remove the rest of the tension in the room, and a couple people chuckle. You let a smile grace your face, but you're still focused on their presence, especially as they move to sit in the chair across from you. Baekhyun pats his lap for her to sit down. When she quickly glances around and realizes there aren't any other seats available, she sits down on his lap and gets comfortable. Much to your dismay, you see him wrap his arms around her waist and rest his chin on her shoulder. The sight is like a stab to your chest, but you push it away with all the rest of your emotions.
Except now that you're seeing him with your own eyes, it's like your brain wants to torture you. Flashes of important moments in your relationship repeat in your mind until you get to the one that you wish you could forget forever. The one you'd easily consider to be one of the worst moments of your life.
Baekhyun's hands are wrapped around yours, and the two of you are gripping and squeezing each other's hands like they're lifeboats keeping you afloat. Tears stream down both of your faces as you lean against each other on the couch.
This is the only solution. Both of you know it, yet, it's one of the hardest things you've ever done. The two of you love each other fiercely, but it feels like you're clasping and trying to hold on to something that just keeps slipping through your fingers. Neither of you wants to let go, but what else can you do? It's a heartbreaking case of the right person at the wrong time.
Between the stresses of work and school, trying to achieve your dreams, and keeping your families happy, your schedules are like night and day. Finding time to be with each other is becoming impossible. The two of you are like ships passing each other in the night. You know the other is there for you, but you rarely ever see them. You both hate it and curse it, but neither of you knows how to change it without compromising things you need or want. Even if being together is one of those things.
"I think it's time we let go," Baekhyun says, though it comes out as more of a sob.
You bite your bottom lip until you taste blood. This isn't what you want. This isn't what either of you want, but what other option is there? It's too hard to keep going on like this. You're too tired of trying to fight for something that doesn't seem like it's meant to be.
You nod because you know if you open your mouth, words won't be what comes out. A whine of someone who's in pain will kiss the air, and neither of you will have the strength to go through with this after. You'll continue being lonely and miserable instead.
Dabin accidentally bumps you, pulling you out of memories you hoped you had suppressed. The breakup was seven months ago, but it still hurts like it was yesterday. It still feels like you can't breathe when those memories resurface.
"Hey," Dabin gazes at you with concern. "You okay?"
You pull that same empty smile back on your face and nod. The sympathetic expression on hers tells you that it's obvious where you had gone in your head. She forces you to join the discussion with the others, probably hoping to distract you.
Glancing at the faces around you, you allow their lively expressions and laughter-filled smiles to pull you from those upsetting memories. This is what you need to focus on. The here and now with the people you love and cherish.
Though once old group memories begin to get brought up, it's hard to separate your relationship with Baekhyun from your relationship with the group. They were so entwined and connected. There are no group memories without coupled Baekhyun and you, and you're gonna have to accept it and roll with the punches.
"Didn't Dabin threaten to beat Chanyeol up for that?"
"Girls must have a thing for threatening Chanyeol because I remember Y/N threatening him too," Jongdae answers Sehun in a roundabout way, causing Baekhyun to chime in.
"That was well deserved!"
Your mind flashes back to Junmyeon's birthday when the group was playing Truth or Dare in an attempt to get Junmyeon to embarrass himself. Jongin was on a health kick, and when Chanyeol saw an opportunity to mess with Baekhyun, he took it.
You repeat the word "please" in your head as Chanyeol looks for his next victim. He already made Jongdae eat some gross-ass thing he concocted, and you didn't want to be his next victim. If you choose truth, Chanyeol knows enough of your secrets that it could backfire on you.
"Baekhyun! Truth or Dare?"
Baekhyun meets his gaze with an unbothered expression. "Dare."
Chanyeol grins wickedly before standing up and walking to the bowl of salad Jongin brought. He reaches into the bowl, ignoring Jongin's protests about his dirty fingers, and pulls out a green circle.
"I dare you to eat this."
Snickers fill the air around you as you stare at the cut-up piece of cucumber. You quickly turn and look at Baekhyun, but his glare is leveled on Chanyeol. Everyone knew Baekhyun hated cucumbers and that this is the one dare he wouldn't do, including Chanyeol.
"No? Then, I guess you better strip naked and run down the street to the police station."
Your eyes widen at Chanyeol’s second option. Junmyeon immediately protests, citing he doesn't want to see Baekhyun naked or arrested for indecent exposure, but Chanyeol ignores him completely.
"I had to send a nude to my ex last time. Someone - besides me - is getting naked."
"We're grown adults," Sehun groans. "Why does anyone have to get naked?"
"So, my best friend either wants me dead or arrested," Baekhyun says with a deadpan expression.
Chanyeol rolls his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic."
You sigh and try to remind Chanyeol that the goal tonight is to embarrass Junmyeon, not Baekhyun. "Chanyeol, just give him a different dare, or else we're all going to just sit here for the rest of the night."
Chanyeol and Baekhyun are already stubborn people, but the moment alcohol is added, their stubbornness increases tenfold. You know that if one of them doesn't cave soon, the game is over, and someone will be pissy the rest of the night. Chanyeol must've realized this too because you noticed him slowly moving towards Baekhyun, offending green food in hand.
"Chanyeol, if you go anywhere near him with that cucumber, I will shove it down your throat," you threaten. You may be halfway tired of the two idiots, but you’re always willing to defend your boyfriend.
Chanyeol freezes, and Baekhyun looks at him in disbelief before immediately searching for the closest object to him. Junmyeon sighs loudly as a remote flies toward Chanyeol, and Jongin pouts, softly murmuring about Chanyeol’s fingers in his salad.
Rolling your eyes at the memory, you shoot Chanyeol a sweet smile and say, "It's okay. We got payback at the gym."
Dabin snorts next to you. "I forgot you stole all of his clothes while he was in the shower."
"That was not funny! Those little towels they give you don't cover shit!" Chanyeol whines, still visibly perturbed by the memory.
Baekhyun laughs. "When he came out of the locker room trying to cover himself with them, I thought I was going to die of laughter."
You and Baekhyun look at each other with wide smiles on your face. The trouble the two of you used to cause would drive the rest of the group nuts, but you both reveled in it. He was your partner-in-crime, and if the two of you could get away with something, you did it.
"God, the two of you were menaces together," Jongdae groans, causing Minseok to agree.
"They were quite the duo."
You both share soft smiles as you relive the pranks and mayhem you used to cause. The memories flood you with a warm feeling, and you suddenly wish you could go back in time and do it all over again, even if the outcome would still be the same.
"It's a good thing you guys broke up because you're too powerful together," Chanyeol jokes but doesn't realize it falls flat.
You fall silent, barely feeling Dabin shift closer to you so that your arms are against each other in a gesture of comfort. You feel eyes on you, and you look up to see both Junmyeon and Minseok looking at you with sympathy in their gaze. Minseok quickly looks away and changes the topic before it can get any more awkward, and you couldn't be more grateful.
Slowly, your eyes trail to Baekhyun, and it registers in your mind that he's gone silent as well. He looks deep in thought. Almost like the words affected him too. Like he wishes they never graced the air. Your eyes trail down to his hands, and you see him absent-mindedly playing with his girlfriend's fingers, something he did a thousand times with you.
You rip your gaze away as a sick feeling begins in your stomach, but not before Baekhyun notices your stare. You try to play it off, pulling Dabin into a side conversation until you feel his gaze drift away and take a deep breath. You can do this. You've got this.
Almost unwillingly, your eyes find their way back to Baekhyun. The sight before you has the air in your lungs vanishing and your heartbeat stuttering. Baekhyun leans toward his girlfriend as she leans back against him, and he kisses her lips softly. He kisses her like she's the most delicate and precious thing in this world, and it feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest.
The edges of your vision blacken. The couple is the only thing you can see, but it's almost like they're moving away from you, like you're seeing them but not really. A tiny whimper might have escaped your throat, but you're not sure. The only thing you're sure of is your fight or flight response kicking in, and you quickly choose the latter.
You're on your feet and escaping the room before your brain can completely register it. The only thing you know is that you need to get away as soon as possible. You need to distance yourself from them.
The first viable option you find is the bathroom. You quickly duck into the small room and shut the door behind you, locking it and leaning against the hard wood. Air burns your lungs as you suck it back into your body, and you finally start to notice your eyes burning. Blinking rapidly, you try to calm yourself down and make sure no evidence of your near breakdown is visible on your face, though your exit was glaringly obvious.
You move to the counter and flatten your palms on it in an attempt to ground yourself. Mumbled voices reach your ears, and you can hear the worry and questioning behind them. Instant regret slams into you when you realize you have to go back out there and face everybody, face them. Your temporary escape was only that. Temporary.
You thought you were prepared to face him, to see him with his girlfriend, and everything would be fine, but it's so far from the truth. You don't know if you can actually do this, but you have to try. For your friends. For Yixing. For yourself.
Working up the courage to go back out there, you take a few more steadying breaths and straighten your body. This is going to be embarrassing and awkward, but it'll pass. You'll make it through this night, and you'll never have to see Baekhyun and his girlfriend again if you don't want to… You almost hate yourself when you realize you'll gladly see Baekhyun again. No matter how much it hurts.
Coming up with a weak alibi, you flush the toilet and turn on the sink, pretending as if you went to the bathroom. You check your reflection as the water runs, making sure you're not splotchy and look normal. Once you're satisfied, you quickly wash your hands before shutting off the sink and drying them. You then swing open the bathroom door like everything's normal.
The conversation quiets down as you enter the room, and when nearly everyone is staring at you, you offer a sheepish smile.
"Sorry, I really needed to use the restroom."
The looks on their faces tell you they don't believe you at all, but they kindly accept the lie and focus on something else. When you sit down, Dabin gives you a worried look, but you wave her off and do your best to focus on her conversation with Jongin. It takes all of your willpower to not look at the seat across from you. Especially when you feel two sets of eyes boring holes into the side of your face.
You continue on like that for the next hour. You talk to the people around you, let their conversations pull your attention, and avoid Baekhyun's area like the plague. You allow yourself to live in the lie that everything is okay - that you're okay. It works. Barely.
"Dang, the chips are gone," Kyungsoo looks mournfully at the empty bowl.
"Beer too," Sehun adds, looking just as sad.
Knowing there's more in the kitchen, you stand up and offer to grab some more. Yixing shoots you a grateful smile since he's in the middle of a phone call, and you wave him off. You could use the distraction.
Walking into the kitchen, you take a moment to yourself before you move to the refrigerator and open it. You hear footsteps behind you and assume it's Yixing coming to help you, but when you turn to say something to him, you find out you're dead wrong.
Baekhyun stands in the doorway, hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans as he lightly nibbles on his bottom lip. Your heart slams against your ribcage as you take in the sight of him, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.
"How are you?" He quietly asks.
It takes a moment for you to find your voice. "I'm okay… How are you?"
Baekhyun looks unsure of your words, but he's no longer in a position to question them, so he slowly nods. "I'm good."
"Good," you mumble, happy that he appears to be doing better than you. It'd almost hurt more to see him suffering like you are.
When words fail both of you, you put a fake smile on your face and say, "It's great we were all able to get together today."
Baekhyun's expression appears pained. Partially because it's sad that this is where the two of you are now, but also because you know he can see that you're hurting. Baekhyun always knew how you felt almost before you did, but you aren't going to allow that to be on his conscience. You both agreed to separate. He doesn't need to be punished because he found happiness again.
"Yeah," he clears his throat. "It's great to see everyone."
You hum and turn away from him, pulling the drinks out of the refrigerator so you can focus on something else. Something other than the most beautiful man in the universe staring at you like you're his favorite broken toy, and he doesn't know how to put you back together even though he desperately wants to.
"Are you okay?" He finally asks.
Your eyes fall closed, and you steady your breathing before you face him again. In the most believable voice you can manage, you say, "I'm fine."
"Don't…" He immediately says, shaking his head. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" Your voice comes out a little breathless due to the intensity behind his eyes.
The pained expression is clear on his face now. "Don't lie to me. Don't try to put on some face with me to save my feelings."
"Baekhyun, I'm not - "
"Please…" His voice cracks and that paired with the honest and raw expression in his pleading eyes is nearly your undoing.
You can't do this. You can't tell him the truth, but you can't lie either. Not to Baekhyun. You've never lied to him before, and he knew you like the back of his hand anyway. He'd know you weren't being honest. It didn't matter, though, because you can't tell him how you really feel. You can't tell him and upend his new world. You won't.
You open your mouth to speak, but he's quick to cut you off. "Don't lie to me, either… I know you. I know you're… hurting."
Debating the ramifications, you meet his pleading stare with an honest one of your own. This could be your one chance to tell him how you feel. Even if it doesn't change anything. Even if he acknowledges it and walks away, at least you told him…
"It hurts…" Your voice breaks. "It hurts seeing you be like that with someone else. It almost hurts to breathe in your presence, and it kills me to not be by your side because I am still so in love with you… so deeply in love with you that I'm scared I'll never be over you."
Your words nearly end on a sob, and you're amazed that you're able to get that much out. That you somehow found the strength to push them from your mouth.
Baekhyun's face is a mixture of surprise and shock. He knew you were hurting, but you don't think he knew how you were still in love with him. How much it hurt seeing him and his girlfriend today. A look of pure anguish and grief takes over his features, and you realize he has no idea what to say or do. He didn't expect any of that to come out when he asked if you were okay. Maybe an "It's hard" but certainly not "I'm still deeply in love with you".
He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out at first. What can you even say to something like that? You immediately feel ashamed and like an idiot. He has a freaking girlfriend. She's right down the hallway for goodness sake! He's moved on. He doesn't still love you, and you should've kept your mouth shut like you originally planned.
"I'm so sorry," you blurt out. "I shouldn't have said anything."
You quickly move past him, trying to get away from what just happened, all while repeating how sorry you are for saying anything. Though, before you get past him and free of the kitchen, he grabs your arm and stops you.
"I shouldn't have said any of that."
"Will you please just let me talk?" His voice is more serious than you've ever heard it.
You squeeze your eyes shut. "I'm sorry. I know you've moved on. I should've kept it to myself."
"No, you shouldn't have." His grip tightens on your arm. "Now, will you just give me a moment to talk?"
Your eyes find his as tears threaten to leak from them. It's completely selfish not wanting to listen to what he has to say, especially after everything that just fell from your lips, but you can't be broken up with twice. You can't be rejected again, even if the first time was mutual. The first time nearly broke you. You didn't know if you'd survive a second time.
Pulling your arm out of his grasp, you shake your head and back away from him, preparing for your getaway. "I'm sorry… I can't."
Baekhyun stands completely dumbfounded in the kitchen. Your words replay over and over in his head until he feels like he is in some sort of sick dream.
He's wanted to hear those words from you nearly every day since the breakup. Dreamt of it dozens of times throughout the months, and he considers pinching himself to make sure he's not dreaming right now. To make sure that you really just told him you're still in love with him. The person he had fallen so head-over-heels for it had knocked the breath out of him.
You still love him… but… he has a girlfriend now…
The feeling of being ripped open cracks his chest, and Baekhyun doesn't know if he's ever been more torn in his life. You're you. You're everything, but it didn't work out the first time, so why should he be stupid enough to think it'd work a second time? Especially when there hasn't been much change in either of your circumstances.
His girlfriend is amazing. Thoughtful, caring, giving… She makes him happy. She helped him come back from the darkness he felt when the two of you broke up. Helped him realize he could find someone to be happy with again, but she also wasn't you.
He sighs, having absolutely zero clue of what he should do. The tiniest part of him wishes he never asked, wishes he never knew your true feelings. That's just the selfish part of him that doesn't want to inevitably hurt someone he cares about.
It was already hard enough being here in your presence and having to relive old memories. Now, he has no idea what to expect as he walks out of the kitchen and back to the main room. He's unsure if he should look at you or not, but as he passes you, his eyes try to find yours regardless. He silently begs you to look at him, but you refuse. Your eyes are laser-focused on Yixing as he talks, but Baekhyun is positive you have no idea what he's saying. You're so still. He knows you're waiting for the hammer to fall down.
Baekhyun sits down, his girlfriend finding her way back on his lap again, and now all he can think about is how this sight might be killing you. If he were in your position, he had no idea what he would do. All he knew was that it wouldn't be pretty. He takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders, causing his girlfriend to look back at him curiously. He flashes her a smile and decides to push your words out of his head and focus on the present.
That would be a lot easier if your actions didn't keep drawing his attention right back to you. Every time you speak or laugh, his eyes are drawn to you like a moth to a flame. He can't stop himself, and he's unsure if he even wants to.
You're just as beautiful as he remembered. Just as eloquent and lively as before, but he can see the difference in you, no matter how much you try to hide it. You're hurting, just as bad as he was, if not even more. Baekhyun feels sick at the thought. He thought the breakup would help you both, but it's clear it had the opposite effect. It destroyed you instead.
Your words continue to repeat in his head like a broken record. He knew how much it cost you to speak those words. To admit to being in pain and scared. To admit to being in love with him still… and it'd be a blatant lie for him to say he doesn't still have feelings for you.
The moment he heard those words from you, he wanted to take you back immediately. He wanted to pretend the breakup was just a nightmare and go back to the way things were. He almost told you he still loved you too, so much that the thought you felt even an inkling of the same electrified him. If you hadn't stopped him, if you had allowed him to talk, the two of you would probably be making up for lost time right now.
Shifting on his lap catches his attention, and he looks away from you to see his girlfriend watching him. Guilt threatens to drown him. None of this is fair to her. She doesn't deserve to have her boyfriend focused on someone else. She deserves the world, and Baekhyun is just now realizing he can't give it to her. He can't give her all of him because you still hold such a massive piece in your hands.
"What happened in there?" She softly asks.
Baekhyun's entire being freezes. He has no idea what to say. He barely even knows what to think himself, but he certainly knows that now isn't the time for this conversation. The two of them needed to talk in private, so for now, he'd play it off and act like everything is fine.
"Nothing," he gives her a soft smile. "We were just catching up is all."
Her eyebrows raise, and he knows she's smarter than that. She knows there's more to it.
"You both came out looking like different people."
Her words startle him. He hadn't realized how transparent he was being. Do they all know that something is going on? Is it written on your faces?
"Let's talk about it later," he says as gently as he can.
His girlfriend pauses for a moment before she says, "She still loves you, doesn't she?"
His breath escapes him, and he looks at her in surprise. If he felt like he was drowning earlier, a tidal wave was now crashing down on top of him too. Any chance of a lifeboat coming in and telling him everything will be okay is minuscule. How did she know?
She only nods, like the answer is clear to her. "And you?"
A tight feeling in his chest rises to his attention, and he has to remind himself to breathe. He doesn't want to hurt her. That's the absolute last thing he wants, but his silence gives her the answer she needs.
She turns away from him, slightly nodding to herself as she processes the information he didn't mean to give her yet. When she looks back at him, he sees acceptance on her face, almost like she expected this to eventually happen. A small smile and slightly watery eyes meet his gaze, and Baekhyun wants to pull her into the tightest hug. She doesn't deserve this.
She leans toward him and kisses his cheek before lowly murmuring, "Don't let her get away this time."
Before Baekhyun can even respond, she stands up from his lap. When people turn to look at her, she smiles and then turns to Yixing, thanking him for his hospitality. After that, she turns to the door and walks out, not only of Yixing's house but of Baekhyun's life.
A few people glance at him curiously, but all he offers them is a small smile. Even though he's feeling anything but calm. He's completely dumbfounded. Again. He's shocked by her actions, relieved that she gave him an out without so much as a word, and guilty for feeling relieved.
Baekhyun didn't know if he'd ever be able to do what she just did, but it completely fits her personality. Her soft and selfless nature, which only caused his guilt to grow, but… this is exactly what he wanted. He knew he couldn't be with her. He didn't want to be because of you.
He carefully watches you, and though you're trying your absolute best not to look over at him, he can tell you're dying to know what just happened. He thinks over your relationship, the small moments he deeply cherished, and all of the light and laughter you brought to his life… All the hell of not being able to see and spend time with each other was worth it for all those little moments you had together. He's still deeply in love with you too.
Curiosity is getting the better of you. You're dying to know why Baekhyun's girlfriend left. Did she have somewhere else to be? It didn't look like they fought or anything. In fact, she kissed him on the cheek before she left. Surely, everything is okay between them… There's no way Baekhyun told her what you said, right?
You try to focus on Jongdae and Kyungsoo's conversation, but your mind is too busy running wild with possibilities and theories. You made a mistake telling Baekhyun your real feelings, didn't you? That's why she left, isn't it? No, that doesn't make sense. Why would that cause her to leave? It's not Baekhyun's fault how you feel, and it's not like he feels the same.
Well, you assume not, but you didn't exactly give him a chance to speak on anything you said. You tucked your tail and ran like your life depended on it. Baekhyun moved on, though, so you are assuming you're correct. Then again, you know what they say about assumptions…
You keep glancing over at Baekhyun, but he never looks your way. Actually, he barely looks at anyone. He just looks deep in thought as he stares at the armrest of Chanyeol’s chair. It drives you absolutely insane that nobody speaks about what happened. Your friends are some of the nosiest people you know, and you know they're dying to find out why Baekhyun looks spaced out and his girlfriend left.
As the night wraps up, you say your goodbyes, giving the people you don't see often extra tight hugs, especially Yixing. After making him promise not to be gone so long next time, you glance around the room to make sure you got everyone. When you spot Baekhyun talking to Junmyeon, you debate for a total of 10 seconds if you're going to say goodbye or once again tuck your tail and run. You choose the latter.
Grabbing your things, you exit Yixing's house, thinking you made a clean getaway when you suddenly hear a "wait" from behind. You freeze on the front porch, knowing that voice all too well. When you turn around, you see Baekhyun running toward you, almost breathless.
The determination in his eyes startles you, and when he takes a step toward you, you almost take a step back. Managing to stay still, you allow Baekhyun to reach down and take your slightly trembling hands in his. You look at him with wide eyes, your voice gone as you wait for him to say something. Anything.
"I still love you too," he says, eyes searching yours. "We made a mistake breaking up. We should've stuck it out together, living in those short moments of bliss when we could make time for each other. If I had known we'd both be miserable, I never would've allowed it to happen. When it was just me… I could handle it, but I can't handle you being unhappy too."
Your mouth parts in shock, and you search his face to try and understand if this is really happening. These are the words you've wanted to hear from Baekhyun for months. You want nothing more than to be with him again, but… it's no use. There hasn't been any change in your lives. Maybe you're slightly less busy, but it wouldn't make much of a difference.
"Baekhyun… Those words mean everything to me, but…" you whisper, "nothing has changed…"
"Can you really walk away when we both know that the other's hurting? When we both know what the other wants?"
Could you? Walking away the first time was hard enough. Now, you know what both sides of the coin look like, and you know you'd rather suffer the time you have to be apart just for those little moments. You want to be with him. Desperately. Without him, you're half the person you used to be.
"No…" you whisper, searching his eyes.
He can read the feelings on your face loud and clear. His hands drop yours and come up to cup your face. He pulls you toward him, meeting your lips halfway. You immediately open yourself to let him in, and he takes advantage, tongue swiping against yours feverishly. The both of you pour your entire souls into the kiss, letting the other know all the things you want to say but don't know how to word. Suddenly, it's like everything clicks into place.
A pounding sound startles you apart, and you both turn to see your friends banging against the glass of the window that overlooks the porch. A couple of them cheer while others continue to pound on the glass with happy smiles on their faces.
A grin overtakes your mouth, and you glance at Baekhyun to see he's wearing a matching one. His eyes twinkle as he looks at you before he pulls you back to him and kisses you just as passionately as before. The two of you put on a show for your friends, who eat up every second of it, and everything feels right again.
Baekhyun pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. You breathe in each other's air as he happily stares into your eyes.
✰ synopsis : after a harsh break up, m/n’s ex tests him in the middle of the night
✰ content warning : toxic relationship, mention of blood
✰ words : 1K
“Can you come over, now please. . .”
Those six words controlled over M/n so quickly like the snap of a finger. Under Baekhyun’s spell, like a dog, M/n obeyed as he walked to Baekhyun’s apartment with guilt in his every step. He knew this was wrong and that he definitely shouldn’t be going to his ex’s house at two in the morning. But nothing was going to stop him.
Sighing before knocking on Baekhyun’s door, M/n fought the exhaustion creeping up his shoulders. He heard a few noises of stuff falling over, thinking maybe Baekhyun was just as clumsy as he left him. But when he heard a groan sounding as if someone was getting stabbed, M/n’s face washed over pale. “Baekhyun?” M/n knocked again, louder than before as he suddenly got worried.
After waiting a few seconds, the door finally swung open and an angry male stormed out slamming his shoulder into M/n before muttering words as he stomped out of the apartment complex. Stunned, but concerned M/n walked into the apartment greeted by glass shattered around the wooden panel of an open-floor apartment. Carefully stepping around, crunches of shards under M/n’s boots welcomed him as he went in search of Baekhyun.
Eventually, he found the small male in the bathroom sniffling as he whipped blood from his hand, “Baekhyun?” M/n asked softly, the male flinching as he approached him. Oh, how fragile the smaller looked in just a t-shirt and undergarments, stained tears on his cheeks as his eyes looked like the rain falling on a clear window. The toilet paper from Baekhyun’s hand fell and he slowly attached himself to M/n’s torso, the waterworks starting all over again.
M/n wrapped one arm around Baekhyun’s lower back, the other reaching up into the male’s hair, his fingers threading through his gently. “I-I don’t know what happened, or what I did w-wrong. M/n I don’t know!” Baekhyun whaled, muffled by his mouth pressed against M/n’s laurel-colored jacket.
“Calm down first, then tell me what happened,” M/n said softly, pulling Baekhyun just a bit closer. There were many things running through his head, so many questions. But he put them aside until Baekhyun was ready to speak. That ended up taking much longer as Baekhyun went to take a shower first to clear his shaken mind and the blood. While he did that, M/n took the broom and dustpan to scoop up the glass on the floor.
While dumping the shards into the trash bin, M/n noticed a picture frame tucked behind wads of paper towels. Pulling the frame out, M/n’s eyes squinted in confusion as he looked at the photo. Knife lines carved into eyes, a line of tear on the photo splitting the people into two halves. That’s when M/n set the picture down and huffed, now he understood what might’ve happened. Why? Because the two people in the photo were both Baekhyun and M/n.
Baekhyun was always overprotective of M/n, even after they broke up the male still obviously had feelings and he was so encased in them that when he moved onto a new relationship he still had M/n in the back of his mind. Rightfully so, it seemed like Baekhyun’s new lover couldn’t stand it anymore.
Eventually, M/n returned back to Baekhyun’s bedroom just in time as the male got out of the shower. He was still wet, his body glistening under the light as the only thing keeping M/n from seeing Baekhyun in his entirety was the towel wrapped around his waist. Not even bothering to put on some clothes, Baekhyun swiped his lighter and the last cigarette from the box and lay on the bed. “Gonna come join?”
Snorting at Baekhyun’s invite, M/n lifted from the bedframe he was leaning on and took a seat next to Baekhyun on the edge of the bed. Baekhyun lit his cigarette, taking in the cancer air and blowing it back on. “I guess I owe you an explanation now.”
Baekhyun sighed before starting, “I am in a shit relationship. Was, I guess now. He was too clingy and expected a lot from me. So, to ignore him I always had something else on my mind.” Baekhyun paused to take a puff of his cigarette. “Fortunately, that something was the only thing that I could call when he started getting aggressive and the issue. You.” Baekhyun’s eyes were now closed. No more words came out from his slightly cracked lips. He just sat there, not looking for any answers from M/n. In which the latter didn’t say anything either, twiddling his thumbs as he thought over what Baekhyun had said.
It had been a while since they broke up, but it would be dumb if they ignored the sparks still flaring up every once in a while. M/n laid down on the mattress with Baekhyun and covered his hand over his, his thumb dancing over Baekhyun’s knuckles. “Baek, I’m here for you. And that guy, he’s an idiot because I know you deserve better.”
“Really, because I could’ve sworn you broke up with me not too long ago.”
“Baekhyun, I had my reasons. But I came here didn’t I? It’s past midnight, who would do that for their ex if they didn’t still love them.” Baekhyun bluffed, turning his head toward M/n.
“You still love me?”
M/n scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Of course. You were the best thing that could’ve happened to me.” Baekhyun tried hiding back the grin he had growing on his face by sitting up. M/n did the same, holding Baekhyun’s hand with both of his. Their eyes searched around the room, then back to each other.
“Do you really still love me?” Baekhyun asked, voice weary and sounding as if he were about to cry again. M/n nodded, reaching his hand to Baekhyun’s cheek, whipping away the tear falling from his glassy eye. Leaning forward, both of them hesitated before connecting their lips gently. It had been so long since they last kissed, it felt like a whole new experience. Their love reconciled. Pulling away, M/n held Baekhyun’s hand tight.
“I won’t let this happen to you again. I’ll kill the next person to lay their hands on you.”
— genre: one-shot, coworkers-to-lovers, mild angst, mutual pining, romance, fluff, a sequel to something old, something new.
— warnings: none, except for maybe a nice lil smooch and some mildly implied spice. neither edited or beta'd this, so that could be a warning, lol.
— summary: much like the job you’re leaving, you’d planned to melt into the broad daylight before he woke up, but your coworker-turned-companion has other plans — especially ones that don’t let you step past the threshold without a meal well shared.
— word count: 3.3k
— tagging: the usual victims of my authorly nonsense aka @jenmyeons @j-pping @cxsmicmyeon @sooghostwriter @kjms but especially @kingsoowolves because hi my requests are not open but i did it <3
— author's note: i thought i’d be remiss if i didn’t give these two fools a proper happy ending, lol. hope you enjoy! <3
The sun feels nice, you think to yourself.
Except for the fact that your bedroom never gets enough light to wake you up. That thought alone becomes a prompt splash of water on your stupid, stupid head.
For the first two minutes of your regained consciousness, you focus on gauging your surroundings with one eye and one arm, helpless and hopeless. Even the feeling of the sheets against your legs is miles away from what you usually know — there is something to the high thread-count stuff, you note mentally — and your neck tickles from how your hair has unravelled throughout the night.
But when you throw a hand to your nape, what you get in return is the loudest snuffle. Hair doesn’t do that, you tell yourself, being dead protein and all. Middle school biology classes were quite informative, indeed. What hair also doesn’t do is snore and snuggle into human beings when disturbed.
The panicked gasp you let out is swallowed by the pillow that has been leaving its creases on your cheek all night. A photo, framed and set onto the bookshelf, catches your eye. Another quick lookaround makes you discover the solid black Casio watch and the wireframed glasses on the nightstand, and oh.
So, it happened.
Blinking to yourself a little too maniacally, you try to twist around, with all of your nonexistent stealth, and test any… signs of exertion anywhere on the nether regions of your body, finding none. Your heels feel a little sore, but that couldn’t possibly be connected to … that. At least you don’t think he’d be that adventurous for a first night.
The only night. You hold back a groan at that.
At least you won’t have to find a new job after taking liberties with a coworker. You’d already sorted that one out. Hah. Lucky you.
Somewhere through the realms of sleep, you think you’d seen it all — the tiff at the bar, the careful glances, the steady scent of citrus and clean linen, the ring of fire around your waist as Kyungsoo walked you in through a doorway that looked suspiciously similar to the one across the way, marking the entrance to this room. Oddly enough, everything between the departure from the bar and the shuffle into the bedroom seems lost on you.
With no symptoms of his awakening anywhere on the horizon, you take a minute, or rather ten, to just contemplate. What are the odds that he’d appreciate the gesture of you disappearing before he’s back to the land of the living? From whatever little you remember — very little, you remind yourself — he’d not had any more than three beers. His hangover shouldn’t be deadening his brain cells one by one like yours currently is. If you tried to sneak away like you’re currently deliberating, you might just live past this and be able to look back on this a few years later like hey, remember when I got smashed and spent the night at your place? Fun times.
Luckily for you, he’s not done any of the cliched rom-com shit like squeezing an arm around you in his sleep — you’re not caring for it or mourning the idea of it, you’re simply observing — but extorting your legs from beneath his own, without completely jeopardising your half-arsed getaway plan you’ve come up with, takes a significant while of your time. Once freed from the not-so inconvenient shackles of his skin, you take a very casual deep breath and tell yourself you will not look back at him — not when he’s asleep, blissfully unaware of the betrayal you’re about to commit, and certainly not when you’re genuinely unsure of whether he’s worn anything to bed. Of all the rare times he’d worn those round-necked tees to work in the summers, you know for a fact that he has a generous smattering of moles and freckles that start at his ears, leading down to the line of his neck and probably all other places on his body that are meant to stay out of your reach. I gotta put me first, no matter how slippery of a slope this hundred and sixty-five centimetres of gorgeous goodness is, you tell yourself. Cookie Lyon would surely be proud of your resilience.
Or not, because this fool had to let out the most unfair whine in the history of all sleep-induced whines, and this is ridiculous. This won’t do, this jump in your stupid, stupid chest when you witness the way in which his breath sits at the curve of his open mouth as he sleeps, the daylight colouring him in a sheen of pale gold. You then remember to look down at yourself, and it turns out that he’d indeed left your clothes on — it should’ve come to you earlier, why your legs felt cold soon after you wrenched them out from his own. This damn skirt has always been a bit too short.
Well, that’s another k-drama male lead nonsense he’d left you out of — the whole I changed you into my clothes last night, but I promise I didn’t look business. Good for him, because in all honesty, a lot of men are incapable of that kind of restraint. Either that, or you’re just entirely too far from his type of … romantic accomplices, and he’d just let you sleep however he thought best while minimising physical contact, which is a complete antithesis of the way his arm had felt around you— no, you will not be going there again. You’ll wobble out of this room as quietly as possible, with your hungover head held as high as possible, because as the evidence suggests, the only liberty you took with him was to be drunk enough to crash at his place.
For all you know, he might even be seeing someone outside of work. Maybe he did somehow get that girl’s number, the one who wouldn’t stop smiling at him. Maybe he played his hand and slipped his number on a napkin before running off and finding you with a broken shoe and a beaten sense of coordination—
Okay fuck, that one hurt more than all of your hangovers combined.
The walk of shame from the bedroom to the bathroom takes entirely too long, since your incurable curiosities about his personal life make you pause every two seconds and look at the stuff around his house. He has a copy of Keats’s Lamia on his bookshelf, you’d unfortunately noticed, and that was the last straw for you before you slipped out and left him behind. How dare he own books by your favourite poet, the audacity. You’re the one who has both together, sane and mad, inked along your ribs, not him.
Some old habits never quite die, and so, when meeting the mirror in his bathroom, you somehow still expect a stray hickey somewhere on your person — it’d just how it’d always been in the past, and you’re not used to leaving without a happy ending. No, not the k-drama kind. The RedTube kind. A quick scrub and rinse of your mouth is probably the most you can manage without starting things you’ll not be able to finish, and you promise yourself a swift trip to the kitchen for a drink of water. You’re praying to everything holy that your bag and belongings are in the living room, because in no way are you taking a walk down 69, Friendzone Lane, and going back to his bedroom where he’s sleeping with one leg and the curve of his ass out for you to fixate on.
When your hair finally looks less like a crow’s upturned nest and your breath is not stank enough to be a biological weapon of mass destruction, you skip to the kitchen, quietly pouring yourself a glass of water and chewing on the inside of your lip as you look at how painfully pristine everything is. A lone, potted jade plant gleams on the window sill, two stray cups sit in the sink, and you wonder if he did the whole you’re so drunk, let me make you some tea crap they do in k-dramas.
Maybe you just need to stop watching that stuff until you’re … more comfortable living with the knowledge of your attraction towards him. Good plan, you tell yourself, rinsing the empty glass quickly before wiping your hands and smoothing down your skirt, tucking your shirt carefully into it, and getting back to your mighty escape plan.
And now he’s there. Right in the middle of the doorway. Looking like every bit of the terrible temptation that he usually is, but manifold by a million times because wow, the things that a freshly awakened Kyungsoo Doh is currently doing to several places in your body, without lifting a single finger, are criminal. Absolutely illegal. Worth being sued over.
He takes his time, you can tell from his eyes, with assessing what he just saw of you, because for most people, the difference between a person lounging in their one-night-stand’s kitchen and one who is gulping down some necessary hydration before being on their merry way is pretty clear. You think you could be somewhere in the middle, or at least you’re hoping for it, because if you have been caught and if you must talk through this historic moment of embarrassment, you’d like to do it in a way where you can, by some grace and generosity, continue to be acquaintances, if not friends. Even if you had escaped, he’d have called you, sent you a message as a gesture of care, and you’d have had to lie and hide your heart even then, so you might as well do it now.
“Were you”, he starts, then pauses, dragging his sight along the lines of your figure. “Were you leaving?”
Oh, he gets straight to the point. Okay, then.
“I thought it’d be good”, you reply, trying to fake a fraction of a smile and giving up immediately because why is he looking like he’s going to turn this into a breakup — you’d be the one doing it, by yourself, back at your place over a sad little bowl of instant ramen, because you’re the one who has a crush on him. Not the other way round. “To keep things professional.”
That last part makes his eyebrows shoot up into that delectable fringe of hair that is kissing his forehead — you’re not jealous, you swear you’re not — and he walks over to you, but stops while there’s still some space to spare, still a line that will, probably, never be crossed. With his hip leant against the counter, Kyungsoo appraises the stilted presentation of your words, and if you think that he did actually pause to stare at your mouth, then no, he didn’t.
“I don’t think getting drunk the way you did last night was very professional anyway”, he says, still looking for something on your face that could confirm his ideas about the way he’d found you in his kitchen. “Might as well stay for brunch. It’s Saturday.”
He doesn’t meet your eyes as he says it, his posture as faraway and pensive as it could be, and your hands having nothing to do while he starts the coffee machine, and something about the ease of his hands and the honeyed slants of his skin under the sunlight makes you walk down the one bridge you’ve avoided all this time.
“If I stay”, you stutter, and he turns back, looking more curious than surprised, “we’ll stop being friends.” That’s the farthest you can go without handing him a fucking anthology of your feelings.
“I didn’t know we were friends”, he replies, and oh, that’s a thorn to your heart like no other. “Haven’t we always been professional? Until last night, of course. You’re resigning anyway.”
“Right”, you chuckle dryly, “I forgot how little you thought of my decision.”
“Trust me, you’ve forgotten a lot”, he cuts you off, the motion of his words making the swell of his throat undulate, and maybe you need another glass of water before you leave. “Of everything.”
Wait, what is that supposed to mean? Your mouth falls a little ajar from his insinuation, and you try to recollect any signs of—
“Not the kind of everything you’re considering”, Kyungsoo clarifies, his eyes going haywire across just for a second before turning away altogether, rummaging through a kitchen cabinet. “I’d never do that anyway. I’m not exactly your type.”
A hopeless mix, of your haphazard heartbeat and this island of longing between the two of you, stings at your eyes, just for a minute, before you reign it all in, desperate to just get a move on and never think of this moment again.
“If we’re not friends and if we have nothing worthwhile to discuss, I’d like to leave”, you bite out, the pressure in your chest just about unbearable as you run, quite literally, and busy yourself with finding your shoes. It is so fucking unfortunate, that of all the things you’re hurt over, him having no understanding of how he is, indeed, your type, takes the whole damn cake. When you pivot around, you find him in the doorway again, his face iced over as he watches you eradicate all evidence of your existence in his home.
“You’re always wrong, all the time”, you argue, limping while putting on a shoe and fuck, your feet still hurt from wearing them all day yesterday. “But you’ve never been more wrong until now.”
“I know I’m wrong”, he snips back at you. “I was wrong to be entertaining all the ideas I’ve had since last night.”
“You—” Taking a genuine pause of breath, you look at him, and he looks just as frazzled and torn as you, but why? You’re the one with the feelings, the futility, the furious heartache every time he so much as smiles at you while walking past your desk. “You said we didn’t do anything.”
Kyungsoo crosses his arms then, and looks to the side, staring intently at the dining table as if the wood holds some memory that is calling out to him, before running a rough hand through his hair and straightening his glasses. “We didn’t”, he finally says, “which is great.”
Exasperated, you turn back to zipping your bag up, the crisp sound of it like a snap of a branch, like a book falling shut on itself. You tug it onto your shoulder, and are then promptly pulled back by a hand closing around your wrist.
“But we said some things.” Kyungsoo looks beside himself now, like someone uprooted and thrust back into unfamiliar grounds. “We didn’t do anything, but we said a lot of things.”
Oh. That’s why he’s been weird all this time. He knows, and he’d been trying to smooth it over with brunch and small talk. He’s always been kind, generous to a fault, and this is the only method he could devise around putting his knowledge of your feelings in the past. Something about it makes you chuckle.
“I’m a big girl, Soo”, you assert, nodding your head to keep the tears at bay because god, you really fucking adore him. “I can take one rejection. I’ve had crushes before, this is not out of the ordinary—”
“But you are.”
“What?”, you mumble, breathless and beyond tired from all this talking. The inside of your head still feels like it’s a building being demolished to smithereens, by the way. “What are you on about?”
“Out of the ordinary. That’s what you are.” Kyungsoo says those eight words with a conviction that leaves its warmth along the curve of your spine. “I told you that last night. Not those exact words, but I think I’d gotten my point across.”
No way, there’s no way you forgot. All of it? No way. Of all the goddamn things you've lost to a haze of alcohol, this couldn’t be one. Absolutely not. But that explains the evident hurt and the need to make you stay for brunch. He probably wanted to wait it out and see if you remember his gesture of affection with some food and caffeine in your belly.
“I”, you sigh, groping for words that could erase the world of hurt on his perfect face, and letting out the only ones that come easiest to you when he has his arm around you. “I think I love you.”
“Oh.” His mouth remains open in the wake of your confession, and you wait for something, anything to not make you feel like a fool spewing her heart to another clown of equal measure.
“I think you’ve said enough on this matter—”
“Not quite”, Kyungsoo replies, suddenly resolute and unhesitant in his movements, like he just came back to himself, right out of a daze. The sound you make when he puts a hand to the small of your back and tugs you into him is one you never want to think about ever again. “You asked me to do something when you’re sober enough to remember it.”
His words are laced with a brush of his nose against yours, and when you look up at him, teeth clasped around your lower lip, his gaze is all but consumed by something so entirely earnest that you’re starting to get very clear ideas of all the things you could have asked for.
“And”, you breathe, “are you going to tell me what it is?”
“It depends”, he says in return, one hand flat against the side of your hip now, a wildfire that scorches through the fabric of your shirt, right down to the forest of your bones. “Would you rather have me say it or show it?”
Your touch to the planes of his back is met with softness, his black tshirt having enough give to the material that you can guess how well-worn and loved it is. Pressing your nose to his chest, you breathe in, and yes, it's right there. The scent of clean linen and citrus.
“You hate talking”, you quip, feeling the whisper of a smile gracing your lips, “and I wouldn’t want to give you a hard time.”
“You always give me a hard time”, Kyungsoo retorts, one hand at your chin as he pulls your gaze right back to himself. “What do you think all of this was?”
You roll your eyes and shrug. “It’s a you problem now, making sure I don’t forget anything this time around.”
“Insufferable”, he sasses back, “and adorable. What a combination. I’d have to be quite the fool to love someone like that.”
“Good thing that you already are one”, you tug him in by the collar, “and so am I.”
And he does do what you’d so giddily asked for. Hand in your hair and tongue in your mouth, Kyungsoo kisses you until you’ve forgotten just about everything else, but never this. Brunch, of course, doesn’t quite happen, even though you both stay conveniently in the kitchen for most of the afternoon, because all appetites must be taken care of, and when you fall right back into his bed that night, he makes you wear his clothes and squeezes you to sleep.
Do you make fun of him for that? Yes. Do you also smile your way into his chest until your cheeks hurt? Undoubtedly. He is right, you just like to give him a hard time — but you’re both grateful for it now, so he can live with it, and with you.
I haven't done one of these in a while but, since I have enough free time this summer, I wanted to put this together for everyone!
I write mainly for nct and bts, so I'll take requests for them, but other groups I'll take requests for include: exo, seventeen, ateez, stray kids, day6, pentagon and sf9 (I don't really listen to new gen groups much, so I don't know anything about them)
I will write either angst, fluff or both. NO SMUT PLEASE!!
I will stop taking requests on June 1 at midnight EST! this is hopefully enough time for people to send in their requests
FOR SENDING REQUESTS: send the prompt number + member from group (ex: 1 + nct jaehyun)
here are the prompts (most inspired by @creativepromptsforwriting, thank you!)
"it's too hot, maybe we should take our clothes off"
"I won't be participating"
"I never liked summer anyway"
"let's go get ice cream"
"why are you busy, it's summer!"
"I know what you're thinking"
"are you jumping into the pool, or should I come out and push you in?"
"I can barely keep my eyes open"
"I could kill for a slushy right about now"
"is that for me?"
"who's genius idea was that again?"
"how does painting and a picnic sound?"
"don't promise anything you can't keep"
"I have two weaknesses: apple pie and you"
"you're absolutely insane, do you know that?"
"I haven't stopped thinking about it since then"
"funny how things turned out, huh?"
"you're too cute"
"did you just call me 'dude'?"
"get your butt over here and kiss me"
"are you nervous?"
"you look good in that"
"I did think of one thing we can do.."
"I wish I never told you about that"
"it's only a matter of time"
"when will we ever see each other again?"
"can you believe summer's almost over?"
"take a picture, it'll last longer"
"I'll see you soon, I promise"
BONUS: free prompt! send me whatever you want (but keep the rules in mind please!!)
I'm so excited to finally put this out! I will be awaiting requests from you all!
CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (CLICK ON AO3 LINK FOR ALL TAGS & TRIGGERS)
Summary: This chapter features Jongdae’s forced feminization, dollification, and many other terrible things at Kyungsoo and Daddy’s hands. Read the tags and read at your own risk. Messages that disregard this will be ignored.
It’s Daddy that separates them, makes Baekhyun and Jongdae sit beside each other looking up. Anticipating. Naked. Vulnerable. Baekhyun is resting his head on Jongdae’s shoulder, calming his breathing and trying to latch his memory onto the only peaceful moment he imagines he’ll have tonight. Jongdae, on the other hand, is stroking Baekhyun’s hair but his eyes are on Kyungsoo who holds a camera and Kai who holds some type of recorder. The devices are a mix of newer and older models. He wonders briefly if they were stolen from some of the ones who came before.
“Kitten. Puppy. Pay attention. Daddy has some questions for you.” He can hear the camera click followed by the sound of film rolling out, capturing the moment. “Tell me a time you were happy.” Another click, the rolling sound of film.
"We were happier before... When we were… before this." Jongdae's voice trails off lost somewhere between heartache and disillusion.
Another picture. Another close-up. It seems infinite. Jongdae imagines a sea of film floating on an endless expanse of blood and carnage. Pictures of all the ones who came before and didn't make it out. Their stories frozen on Missing Persons bulletins hidden away on websites only their families check until they can no longer bear it. Unfinished stories suspended in time. He prays they aren't one of them.
Daddy strokes Kyungsoo’s hair but he doesn’t lean into it and it doesn’t seem to bother Daddy. Kai looks momentarily at the interaction and pauses before continuing filming. He knows he’s being touch starved on purpose so that he’ll crave whatever touch Daddy gives him later, gentle or violent. Kai misses the feeling of someone's hand on his body. It's times like these when Daddy doesn't let Kyungsoo or Chanyeol touch him either and he can't touch himself or Daddy will know. But with fresh meat and pretty boys at that, Kai will be loved again today. It makes the guilt of the entire fucking tragedy of taking hostages almost worth it. It's part of his training, Daddy says. To homogenize the starvation of touch and a desire for contact to the need and reward for bringing Daddy prey like Jongdae and Baekhyun.
“We were happy only a couple of hours ago before you took us.” His lips are tight, his breath calm, and the only sounds in the room are Kyungsoo’s camera clicking away and Baekhyun’s whimpering. Baekhyun nods and snuggles in closer to Jongdae.
“And are you not happy now?” Daddy asks. He blinks slowly and smiles. Like Kyungsoo, Daddy can sense that Jongdae’s cool exterior is on the precipice ready to snap or sever.
Jongdae looks up at him. He breathes in deeply and bites his bottom lip. “No, I wouldn’t say that either of us is happy right now and I think you know that.” Another click, the continuous bright flash disorienting him. Kyungsoo pauses momentarily and whispers something to Daddy which makes the left side of his mouth curl up into a half-smile. “Excellent idea Kyungsoo. I think kitten would look beautiful with some red lipstick on. Don’t you think so kitten?”
A question that remains unanswered as Chanyeol mounts him, holding his hips down- pressing Jongdae between himself and the couch. He thrusts forward, dick hard and expecting. Wanting. It scares Baekhyun who jumps up and inches away unsure of what to do to protect his friend.
Tight arms wrap around his small body pulling him in closer. “Shhh puppy. Just watch and I promise no one will get hurt. But if you try to escape, I’ll break your neck and make Jongdae here bury your dead body and then we’ll have so much fun he’ll wish we buried him with you. Do you want that for him?” Baekhyun shakes his head no mouthing a chorus of silent protests. Daddy’s arms tighten against his own, firm chest against quivering back. “Do you understand you have to obey so that kitten here doesn’t get hurt?” Baekhyun nods, can feel Daddy pulling him in so close his mouth nuzzles against Baekhyun’s neck, never minding the younger’s tears as they fall onto scarred arms that hold him in place.
“Pucker for me, kitten. I don’t want to make this messy.” Chanyeol grabs Jongdae’s face gently and paints his lips red. He takes his time. Careful precision. These are going in their collection after all, a genesis from beginning to end. The metamorphosis of innocence. There are pictures of all the boys here. Maybe he'll show kitten and puppy their before and after... if they last long enough. “Hm kitten didn’t scratch, didn’t even try to get out of my grasp. You want this too? Like puppy over there. Want me to violate you? Want to me hurt you and leave you bloody?” He pulls Jongdae’s head back, a tight grip on his hair, and smiles that charming dimpled way that might have Jongdae blushing under different circumstances. “I’d prefer if we painted your lips red with blood but Kyungsoo seems to have a thing for you so I’ll let him do that later.” He bends down, lips aligned with Jongdae’s ear. “When I’m done with puppy over there, I’d love to get some kitten scratches. Want you to put up a fight and make me hurt you.”
Jongdae holds his breath, holds in his rage and disgust. Swallows violent vows.
“These lips were meant for red! Don’t you think so puppy?” Daddy releases Baekhyun who is instantly caught and made to straddle Chanyeol whose arms rests casually against Jongdae's shoulder. “You don’t seem too bothered by it kitten. Do you love wearing lipstick? You know you look pretty in it, right? Wish you could wear it all the time and be a pretty whore for me?”
Jongdae looks up but he’s speechless. It’s embarrassing. All the hungry eyes, heat, and hormones make him want to scream. Baekhyun would have looked just as pretty with lipstick. So why not him or why not both of them? Why does Jongdae have to be singled out like this in front of these animals? He could have calmed Baekhyun or at least some of the praises would have helped soften the blow but Kyungsoo and Daddy singled him out.
“I’m not…” He shakes his head. “I…”
“Spit it out kitten. You’re not… You’re not what? You’re not pretty? You’re not mine? Hmm that’s not it is it?” Daddy is playful, knows what Jongdae's thinking but wants him to say it for the sake of humiliation.
“You’re not our whore.” Kyungsoo says, causing Jongdae and Baekhyun’s attention to turn to him, something Chanyeol seems to disagree with as he picks up Baekhyun's small body, still straddling his waist, and removes the risk for temptation. Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s and he doesn’t get to look at Kyungsoo or anyone, only Chanyeol. Jongdae wasn’t expecting him to sound like this, like cacao meeting sugarcane for the first time. “You’re beautiful Jongdae. You will be my whore for tonight and for every night. As long as I desire. You don’t have a say in this.”
“I... don’t have a say in this.” The bitter taste of defeat.
“Yes. And?” Kyungsoo waits.
Jongdae knows what he is according to them and how he should answer but he’s reluctant to give in. The more he gives in the less he has to leverage. But there’s no choice here. Maybe if Daddy had chosen him and not Kyungsoo, he could have circumvented. Or found a way to leverage his situation. Daddy seems playful sometimes and he makes jokes. Kyungsoo seems different. More strict. Severe. Better to obey than disobey.
There is something dark about Kyungsoo that forces Jongdae to give in. For his own sake.
It’s beginning and Daddy sits back, motioning for Kai to join him. Kai has done this many times before. He knows when the toys go to play, he is to strip down for Daddy and let Daddy touch him however he wants. And Kai wants it too. Often he will watch Kyungsoo and Chanyeol play with their toys as Daddy plays with them or as they play with each other. Sometimes he’ll make Kai watch as he plays with the toys too - but only after. Daddy always joins the others after he’s satisfied they’ve “broken in their toys”. Until then he watches. Kai knows Daddy likes to be involved. Maybe if Kai’s own parents had been involved more he wouldn’t be here.
Kyungsoo steps forward, camera still in one hand, and grabs Jongdae by the other. “Come here Jongdae. I want you to see something.” Jongdae wonders what it would be like to refuse Kyungsoo but he obeys as soon as his hand is extended. “You can speak even if you’re not spoken to. I don’t like to be the only one talking.”
“Why are you doing this?” If the worst comes tonight, he has to know why.
“Why would you ask me this question when you already know the answer?” He stops outside a door and turns to Jongdae, eyes squinting slightly and Jongdae hates that he finds him... cute.
Kyungsoo is a paradox. Undeniably cute face, small stature, not unlike Jongdae, and a voice with a seductive depth that mimics the extent of this truly fucked up situation. His youthful appearance and the way his face bunches up when he smiles caters to a deceptive playfulness that Jongdae’s sure doesn’t exist.
“You’re doing this because you can.”
Jongdae can feel his heart drop to his stomach. They’re doing this because they can and that means they'll do anything they want. “Is there a chance we can… leave? I promise I don’t know the answer to this question. I’m just hoping the answer is… possible.”
Kyungsoo nods but doesn’t respond. It’s not his place to say what’s possible or isn’t. “Only Suho knows the answer to that, Jongdae, and I wouldn’t advise you to ask him.”
It’s Jongdae’s turn to nod as Kyungsoo places a key into a door that locks from the outside. He doesn’t tell Jongdae to prepare himself, only opens the door slowly revealing a room that induces Jongdae’s skin to crawl. He blinks to will it away.
He looks to Kyungsoo who remains stoic. “You already know what this room is Jongdae, don’t you?” How he can say this without a hint of emotion is beyond any normal human’s reasoning, Jongdae shudders, as a hand is placed firmly on his back urging him to step forward. Gentle. Kyungsoo’s hand is gentle on Jongdae’s back as he beckons him into the room covered from floor to ceiling in some type of clear plastic sheeting. There’s a bed at the back wall but that too is covered in heavy plastic. Every piece of furniture… nothing is left uncovered besides two pillows, a sheet, and a blanket. Every cloth, every piece of furniture is white covered by clear and he knows exactly why. It turns his stomach. The pillow has a collar attached by a chain on it. In the corner of the room is another chain. Jongdae assumes that’s where he goes if he’s been bad enough to warrant discipline but not death. These are the only two things that are not white or clear and Jongdae can tell they are meant to stand out in stark contrast to the bright sterileness of the room.
“This… can’t be. I heard him. He said you can’t make us bleed or scar us! You can’t do this!” Jongdae makes to move back into the hallway and Kyungsoo doesn’t stop him. He takes one step out of the room of horror before he’s frozen in place. If he goes back to the living room, Daddy will be there and he’ll know Jongdae disobeyed. Daddy had told Baekhyun that if he tried to escape he’d break his neck and make Jongdae bury the body, then they’d rape and torture him until he wished for death.
He can’t leave.
He doesn’t want to stay.
Something about this lack of choice pulls at the despair in his stomach and makes him turn back to the room of plastic and panic. Kyungsoo the quiet man with velvet cashmere for a voice. Kyungsoo who chose him, who chose this room and sterility and death. Jongdae turns back and falls to his knees body wracked with terror and tears until he’s getting the plastic wet beneath him.
Kyungsoo moves and he’s not sure if he’s coming to punish him or for sympathy but he looks up because he needs to look at something other than the plastic that will have his blood smeared on it later. He looks up and Kyungsoo is there, smiling, and it’s gentle. It’s gentle and Jongdae finds relief. Relief in that Kyungsoo isn’t Daddy with his mutable chaos and he’s not like Chanyeol who is only chaos. He reaches up, arms signaling please but it’s met without emotion, only the feeling of cold as a vial is pressed to his cheek and a shhhh as Kyungsoo holds his head in place and collects his tears. Kyungsoo too is chaos but it’s muted not mutable. His chaos seems neutral and Jongdae considers, ragged breaths full of regret and tears filling the vial of an apathetic sadist, that maybe he's the lucky one.
“Thank you, Jongdae.”
He watches in between blurry eyes as Kyungsoo fastens the lid on the vial and puts it in a drawer, closing it gently and locking it. Two locks already. Jongdae wonders if it’s a pattern. He also wonders if he looks in the drawer how many vials will he see, wonders what his chances are of surviving this hellish nightmare. If it weren’t for the overwhelming need to look after and protect Baekhyun, he’d charge Kyungsoo right now and die without the shame that will follow him to heaven or hell. St. Peter at the gates of Heaven and Jongdae is supposed to recount this night and how he didn’t fight back because he had to save his friend. How he knew they’d violate him and he let them because if he could make this time even a fraction less tortuous for Baekhyun, he would do it. Will God forgive him? He closes his eyes and starts to pray, wishing he had his rosary or a Bible or anything to strengthen his faith and resolve. Maybe he should have gone to confession before he left. Maybe God will make it easier on them if he prays hard enough. He isn’t sure that’s how it works but he has to try. If anything God will read his heart and understand whatever follows, whatever Jongdae is made to do, it's to save his best friend.
“Head, Lips, and Heart. So you’re Catholic?”
Jongdae nods and sends his prayers up to whoever might be listening. “Yes. I am.”
“Hm. Well, I will tell you when to stand, sit, kneel, and respond. Not your god.” Kyungsoo is a creature of habit but tonight he will try new things with his new toy and with this knowledge comes a new way of bringing out something wicked in Jongdae, something to make him fight back and regret it. For now, Kyungsoo will continue to blur the line between himself and Jongdae as equal and inferior. “Come here Jongdae. Come to your new god.” And there it is. He sees the flicker in Jongdae’s eyes, the anger and bile rise as he stands up and obeys.
“I need you to get dressed and then stand still. Cover your eyes. Don’t peek.” He can hear Kyungsoo taking things out of the closet, the drawers, notices a calming earthy scent diffusing in the room. It’s pleasant. It makes him breathe a little more peacefully. Maybe Kyungsoo will go easier on him. Maybe the room is just a precaution in case it gets messy, not because it will get messy. Jongdae feels Kyungsoo’s hands on his own as he’s made to open his eyes.
He takes a few tentative steps back. “You can't be serious... I’m not wearing that. I can't..."
“Oh no? You will either wear it willingly or smeared with your blood. Choice is yours.” His voice is flat as he holds out the dress as if an offering.
“Please. Look we can leave and I promise on my faith that we won’t tell anyone about you or this place. Just let us go. You don’t need us. You don’t need me.” Desperation personified. His plea hangs heavy in the stale air.
“I do need you, Jongdae. I need you to put on that dress.” The dollification is meant to break people down but Kyungsoo would be remiss if he didn’t admit the swell of his member against fitted slacks with just the thought of Jongdae dolled up in such a petite and fragile dress. “If you refuse I will make it worse.” He stares Jongdae down and Jongdae stares back, neither budging until Kyungsoo tells him to sit. That, Jongdae can do. Kyungsoo doesn’t even tell him to close his eyes this time, just turns his back and starts gathering things and yes this is definitely worse. Sooo. Much. Worse. OH GOD.
“Wait! No, I’m sorry. I’ll wear the dress. I’ll twirl in the dress! Just please. Not this. Not ALL of this. It’s too much. I can’t!” He’s up now, without permission, hands gripping on Kyungsoo’s arm begging him to stop. Kyungsoo turns his head back to Jongdae so fast the older flinches without Kyungsoo even raising an arm or hand to him. It makes the younger smile like Jongdae brought him freshly baked cookies instead of the twisted pleasure of arousing fear. Yes. Like that.
“Take your clothes off Jongdae.”
“No. Wait. Please. Please Kyungsoo wait. I-”
“Take It Off!” The change is sudden. From calm to I’ll slit your throat and leave you to rot in your own blood. Jongdae’s scared and doesn’t hesitate now to take off his shirt, a shiver running down his spine as tears fall down his pretty face. Kyungsoo considers collecting these tears but there will be more tears later and plenty of opportunities to fill an entire vial. For now, he sets down all the beautiful pieces Jongdae will wear. He lays them out orderly. After all, he’ll command his little kitten one by one to put everything on, a polaroid at each juncture.
Kyungsoo will show him later when he’s a broken and sobbing mess. Or just when he's feeling confident enough to survive here.
Jongdae is crying again. It's the most he's cried in years. He's trying to compose himself because this isn't like him, but he can't help it and the tears keep falling and he wonders how Baekhyun is doing. If Jongdae is this affected by the quiet Kyungsoo, how is Baekhyun being treated by the rabid Chanyeol? He hopes and prays with everything that Baekhyun is luckier than he is, that he doesn’t have to dress like a hybrid between the gender he doesn’t identify with and as a pet.
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t make me yell like that. You have to at least try to listen.”
“I-m sorry Kyungsoo. I…”
“You should have listened at the beginning. You made it harder. I could be a lot worse. Like Daddy or Chanyeol.” He takes a small step forward before turning around to face the drawer of vials, sighing in a small plea for Jongdae to consider the alternative. “Jongdae, Chanyeol is already fucking Baekhyun in there and I haven’t even touched you. All I’m asking you to do is put on more clothes.”
He’s right. Jongdae hasn’t been touched yet, hasn’t been kissed. The worst that’s happened with Kyungsoo is collecting tears and being told to wear cute clothes. Is he blowing this out of proportion? Is it really not a big deal?
“I’m trying here Jongdae. You have to help me help you.” He stops straightening the clothes and looks at Jongdae, can see the doubt and questioning in his eyes. He continues. “I can’t do it alone, you know? I’m attracted to you and I think you’ll look beautiful in these clothes and with this kitten tail, you on all fours. But it has to feel good for you too.”
Kyungsoo has Jongdae speechless again. It has to feel good for him too? He wants Jongdae to feel good? “I’ll help you. I will. And I’m sorry. I just never imagined… and now… All of this is overwhelming. I can’t even form all of my thoughts in complete sentences. I am really sorry though. I know you’re trying.”
“I am. I put a lot of effort into this room, into selecting the clothes, even the lipstick. I tried to find a universally flattering color and I think I did a good job. It looks beautiful on you.” Jongdae sees Kyungsoo blush and looks away. He should not think this kidnapper is cute but physically he is and physically Jongdae feels sick to his stomach.
“Will you… come here Jongdae. Look in the mirror. Don’t you think it’s flattering?”
Jongdae stands beside Kyungsoo who positions him in front of the mirror and he examines them both, two boys who could have gone to the same school or met up somewhere, become friends. Yet the situation is completely different. Kyungsoo must be about his age but they couldn't be any more different. Jongdae is a devout Catholic who only wanted to spend a vacation with his childhood best friend. And Kyungsoo is part of a dysfunctional "family" where they kidnap, rape, and murder people. Where Jongdae is exceedingly generous, Kyungsoo is exceedingly cruel. In another life, they could have all been friends. In this life, he and Baekhyun are captives of Kyungsoo and his family whose every intention is to harm and defile. He tells himself to remember that reality amid this confusion and Kyungsoo's words of persuasion.
“Don’t you think you’re beautiful?” Kyungsoo is behind him now, hands pressed firmly on his shoulders. He looks in the mirror and he's not sure if he's beautiful, doesn't know how to judge that from the perspective of his first time cross-dressing, and doing so against his will, so he doesn't answer. He does think it's as universally flattering as Kyungsoo said and something about the effort it takes to find a shade that would look good on everyone asserts a thing highlighted and underlined that Jongdae doesn't quite understand. "Look closer." He moves in closer, careful not to touch anything without asking, leans in. “I think you’re beautiful Jongdae and I know you think it’s weird but I think you’ll look even more beautiful with that white dress on.”
He turns to face Kyungsoo, with his deep voice and dark aesthetic. His calm demeanor and honesty about everything Jongdae has asked. The way he doesn’t call them kitten or puppy so much as Jongdae and Baekhyun. The way he seems to see him as a real person and not solely an object or as Daddy had said, “a toy”.
“Do you want to put them on only for me? Suho usually gives us an hour or so before he comes in. He might even be with Chanyeol and Baekhyun now.”
“I’d like that.” Jongdae wants to kick himself for letting his guard down but he doesn’t know how long they’ll be here and he would rather not keep his adrenaline up and his nerves on edge the entire time if he can help it. And maybe he’s weak for this but when the words “flattering” and “beautiful” came out of Kyungsoo’s cashmere voice, he all but melted into it.
“I want you to strip slowly for me, Jongdae.”
Strip slowly on heavy plastic in what’s basically a kill room... He tries not to think about it. Just think about getting out of here and Kyungsoo’s voice and his smile, the way his cheeks bunch up, and not the way he’s some deranged kidnapping, cannibalistic serial killer. He inhales and starts, slowly, with the first piece of clothing that seems to make him the least vulnerable.
“Wait... I'll do it.” He needs to touch those legs, needs to sink his teeth in that flesh. Jongdae is already becoming more pliant under his gaze. The first night and he's already become so willing. The thought awakens something in Kyungsoo but he can't pass up this opportunity. Jongdae shakes his head yes as if consent is necessary and Kyungsoo obliges but given that Jongdae said no, he wouldn’t have denied himself the need to touch and bite and take. Not when his legs and ass look like this. No, Kyungsoo needs his hands and mouth on Jongdae now.
And he takes. Kyungsoo takes and he doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to the feeling of his hands groping his ass, rubbing his face along his thighs, and inhaling Jongdae’s natural scent, sweat, and fear. Doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to his hands moving to explore and squeeze, bite and bruise.
“Fuck Jongdae. I could devour you right here. The plastic would take care of everything." If he could devour Jongdae's flesh between his teeth and have him reanimate, he'd do it in a heartbeat. For now, he'll bite leaving teeth marks, grab and squeeze tight making Jongdae cry out. Kyungsoo wants it to hurt. It's Jongdae's first night and he needs to remember it. He reaches to his back pocket and pulls out a black knife, newly sharpened. A gift from Chanyeol on a recent birthday. Jongdae's eyes widen and he starts crying. Kyungsoo wouldn't have imagined this one would cry so much but he's not complaining. He cries beautifully. His sad, soft whimpers and mewling. The perfect captive. "Yes, Jongdae. Cry for me.” He stands up and cradles Jongdae’s head in his hands. “I’m going to keep you forever and fuck you every night.” The image of Jongdae’s ass in the air and Kyungsoo’s face buried in it, directing orders to Chanyeol that he has to follow because Junmyeon demands it and Chanyeol can’t say no. Making Chanyeol eat Jongdae out while he fucks into Baekhyun. Chanyeol torn between having his toy played with and playing with a new toy. His primal instinct to possess. “I can’t wait to fuck you, Jongdae. You cry so pretty for me.” He buries his face between Jongdae’s legs and laps at his crotch, scratching his tongue on the fabric as he holds his knife to Jongdae's femoral artery, squeezing his thighs just to bruise.
Suddenly Kyungsoo stops. “It’s not fun when you don’t fight back.”
Daddy hates boring guests. He wipes his tears and shoves Kyungsoo off of him, opts to run for the door but thinks twice before opening it. Good boy. It’s a game between himself and Kyungsoo. Opening the door and running out would only invite trouble and he has enough of that in the room here. Kyungsoo is on the other side, legs positioned to run in either direction Jongdae chooses. It’s not a big room and there aren’t many options so he runs straight for the closet and almost makes it to shut the door before Kyungsoo is on him, one arm wrapped around his neck and another around his chest, dragging him back to the bed. He’s kicking and flailing but it’s no good. The Butcher must have too much practice and Jongdae doesn’t have the strength. Not usually and not now. But it’s not like he knew he’d be in a situation where he’s fighting for his life against some psychopath. Kyungsoo seems to know many different positions to obtain and detain, making it impossible for Jongdae to get out of his grasp.
“Aw, you got the party started without me, Soo? I hope he gave you a run of it.”
Jongdae manages a look to the side as Daddy and Kai enter the room. He notices Kai is bruised and he’s been crying.
“YOU. You did this!” He manages through the tightness of Kyungsoo’s arms around his neck and chest. “You’re responsible for all of this madness. What is wrong with you?!”
“Oh, kitten. Many things. But it won’t save you to know. You’re fucked either way. Although as I see you with your original clothes on, you haven’t been fucked by Kyungsoo just yet.” He turns his attention to Kyungsoo who is smirking from the struggling body under his strength. “And why the fuck not? And also why the fuck does he have his clothes BACK ON?! Chanyeol has abused Baekhyun countless times tonight. At least you made him cry. It’s almost the least you can do.”
“I like to take my time, Daddy. You’ll see when I take his pants off how much attention I gave him. Trust me, he’s been abused.” Kyungsoo starts to unbutton Jongdae’s pants when he starts inching back, not sure if he should fight now or not. It takes one look from Kyungsoo to know that no, now is not the time to fight him. It’s time to listen and obey. His pants are slid off, thighs squeezed along the way. When his pants come off, he sees what being left alone with quiet and “gentle” Kyungsoo does to him. His skin is littered with red marks, bites, and coloring that will turn into dark bruises. He’s made to stand up and show Daddy all the marks Kyungsoo gave him. Kyungsoo lies and tells Daddy that he was saving the best part of the abuse for Daddy, to get him riled up for his baby Nini. Jongdae notices that Daddy believes it without question.
“Nice work, son. I really shouldn’t doubt you. Now kitten is your toy so I’ll let you decide who you want to doll him up. You, me, or our Kai bear?”
Jongdae barely manages to stand, pressed against Kyungsoo, whose arms clutch around his chest and neck. No one asked him what he wanted, who he would rather have touch him. It doesn’t matter. Jongdae doesn’t matter. He wants to speak up and ask if he’s really good right now and obeys everything if he can spend the night with Baekhyun. But he knows the answer before it leaves his mind.
“Kai can put the dress and kitten ears on him, but I’ll do the collar and the plug. He's mine to claim.”
Daddy nods in acknowledgment. “Then it's settled. Although by the look of it, you might fuck him before you put the plug in. I imagine he’ll look delicious once he’s dolled up with a retouch of that lipstick.” Daddy can’t wait for Jongdae to smear that lipstick all over his dick or to watch the tears run down his face as Daddy abuses him again and again. Seeing his little kitten like this with less fire and more confusion, the fatigue and exhaustion of the night already taking hold makes his dick press against his pants, hard and leaking. If Kai weren't on his way to doll up Jongdae, he'd have him bouncing in his lap to stave off some of this hunger. He grabs Kyungsoo instead, his small body bouncing on his dick while Kai goes to play with the toy. All of his sons are, after all, cockwarmers.
Kai stands in front of Jongdae, tears still present in his eyes, and takes off his boxers. This time he doesn't fight back. He doesn't make it easier for Kai either, makes him struggle to get his boxers off. He will not cooperate fully with these assholes. The fire in his stomach is raging again but it’s short-lived because as he stands there in that bright red lipstick, naked, and defenseless, the most he’s ever been exposed, he realizes that to everyone in that room, he is just a whore. A cockwarmer like Kyungsoo is to Daddy now.
“Lift up your arms Jongdae. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can rest. From someone that’s been where you are, you’ll need it.” Kai sounds tired and it’s no wonder. Whatever Daddy did to him between the time he left with Kyungsoo to this room and the time they entered, drained Kai of what made him human. Is this how Daddy turns boys and men into soldiers? Is this how Daddy turned Kyungsoo into someone who collects vials of tears, someone who kills people and skins them, leaving their hides out to dry in the sun? Jongdae hopes that won’t happen to him or Baekhyun. He can't let it happen to them. He won't.
But he's tired and he says he won't yet he's not even stopping Kai from undressing him as the others watch.
Kyungsoo's hands are resting over Daddy's own and he's allowing Daddy to get off using his body, moaning along as if enjoying every thrust, but his eyes are focused on the vulnerability of his prey's naked form. His prey who's acting on autopilot now, afraid to break eye contact with his predator as he lifts his arms for Kai to dress him in the delicate fabric that will soon tear and stain red under rough hands that deny all protests.
Kai brushes out a wig, the same color as Jongdae's hair, and puts the kitten ears over it. He gets a little closer and whispers “sorry” when Jongdae has tears in his eyes again. He can tell Jongdae has cried a lot his first night, coughing and straining many times over, the evident signs of red eyes and petechiae. He'll have to get used to it, learn to accept it, because it won't change. Nothing ever changes. He hopes he'll get the chance to impart this wisdom to Jongdae. He deserves to know. Kai wishes someone had told him, wishes he didn't have to find out the hard way. He's not even sure why he still cries. Maybe some part deep inside refuses to accept this wisdom. It makes him feel inferior because it's clear that both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have accepted their reality and made the most of it. Or maybe they're more like Daddy than he'll ever be. He's not sure where Jongdae resides on this list but he knows without a doubt that Baekhyun is not cut out for this life. He's almost glad that Chanyeol chose Baekhyun. It'll be easier that way. He wouldn't survive Kyungsoo. Kai's not sure if Jongdae will either.
He finishes the touch-up of red lipstick over pretty lips and then Jongdae's made to twirl and twirl until he gets dizzy, until he falls and hits his head. It doesn't matter because he’s made to get up and kiss Daddy, kiss Kyungsoo, and kiss Kai. Someone rubs the blood from his head onto his mouth and he's made to suck his blood off someone's finger but he can't remember who. He's dizzy but he's made to bend down and show his ass, spread his cheeks. Kyungsoo is playing with him but he can't feel it. Then someone else whose hands are colder is touching him and he only knows because he has goosebumps and he thinks that's why but he can't be sure. Then Kyungsoo is in front of him and he’s being collared. Jongdae’s in a daze but he knows he’s being collared, made to move around on all fours behind Kyungsoo as he tugs on the leash. Someone fucks him from behind, leash pulled tight against his throat and he can't breathe. Daddy’s clapping and Kai is stoic again. He thinks he sees Baekhyun and he's crying too but he can’t be sure because the tears are coming and his vision is blurry.
He looks up again and no one is there, just Kyungsoo. He’s saying something but Jongdae can’t hear him. He’s being slapped and it doesn’t help. He doesn’t know what Kyungsoo is saying and he’s crying again and he only knows because the tears hit the plastic and reflect off the light. Kyungsoo is shaking him and he doesn’t know why. Then he’s being kicked but he can’t feel anything and he doesn’t know who. He still doesn't know why. He sees Kyungsoo laughing and taking pictures but he doesn’t hear him nor the sound of the film rolling. He sees Kyungsoo with his vial again and he's caressing his face. Jongdae thinks he leans into it but he can't be sure. He can't be sure of anything.
Then his vision fades- his small tired body abandoned in a white silk dress, ripped and bloody from abuse. A sleeping beauty. Shallow breaths escape against heavy plastic, the transparency stained with droplets of crimson and cream and somehow there’s blood and more blood until there’s only black.
Pairing:- Suho x Fem reader (ft members of EXO, BTS, Ateez, SKZ)
Genre:- Fluff, Angst (maybe)
AU!:- Werewolf, Fantasy
Summary:- Life is full of ups and downs, if there is nothing what's the meaning of it then? But what happens, when you save a hybrid wolf pup and have it to stay with you and after sometime, some strange things happen in your apartment. You feel just like a paranormal story but it isn't as you feel safe but your attraction towards the abandoned castle at the end of the city starts coming on your mind... Is that little wolf involved or there is more to it?
CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (CLICK ON AO3 LINK FOR ALL TAGS & TRIGGERS)
Summary: Some fear this chapter. Chanyeol’s a real sadist f*ck boy and Kyungsoo is… 💀. Just an entire dysfunctional family that’s found some pretty toys to play with.
“I know you do, puppy. I’m just glad you said it. And you know… you can’t take it back now.” He reaches out a hand and ruffles Baekhyun’s hair, taking pride that his puppy is already willing to obey without so much as even looking at Chanyeol. “You’re mine to keep forever.”
“Yours to… k-keep forever?” Baekhyun asks, a slight stutter in his speech as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo remove the blindfolds revealing the timid allurement beneath them. He grips Jongdae’s hands tighter, afraid to open his eyes and face the reality before him. Jongdae’s reaction is different. Eyes alert, his mind ready in anticipation for what the unveiling means and who intends to see them. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Kyungsoo’s glare, choosing to stare back to show that he’s not intimidated but notes a chill running down his spine at the blank face of the one whose interest he has peaked.
“Of course, puppy boy. We’re going to keep you if you do well tonight. Remember I told you it’s like protecting you from that world out there?” Chanyeol reaches out his rough hand and runs it across Baekhyun’s smooth skin. “So soft.” This boy was beneath him in every sense. Smaller, timid, fragile, and pretty. He is everything Chanyeol could hope for in a toy and he can't wait to explore it. “It’s okay if you don’t remember, puppy. I’ll always do what I can to remind you.”
Baekhyun opens his eyes now attempting to swallow all the fear that threatens to arise. “S-so you’re n-not going to hurt us?”
Jongdae breathes in, knowing, but Baekhyun doesn’t see it.
“Oh, baby boy.” Chanyeol continues caressing Baekhyun’s face, a false act of comfort. “Of course we’re going to hurt you. It’s going to hurt when you ride my dick raw and it’s going to hurt when I choke that beautiful, little neck of yours. No, don't pout. You know you'd like that. I bet you're a little masochist, huh?” He’s hard now and he lets Baekhyun feel it, makes Baekhyun’s hand rub against the firmness pressing through his pants.
Baekhyun shakes his head no, tears threatening to fall, sucking in his chest to try and calm his breath. He doesn’t want this. He’s never been with anyone and his first time should be consensual. It should be full of light and love and happiness. He doesn’t want his first time to be with this monster and he doesn’t know how to get out of it.
“No? Puppy doesn’t like being hurt? That’s too bad, baby boy, because I will hurt you and I’ll get off on it. I’m going to make it so you’ll never forget it. Don’t you want your first time to be memorable?” Chanyeol’s face softens as he bends down, eye level with Baekhyun now. “When you’ve thought about this before, you wanted your first time to be memorable, right puppy?” He wipes away the tears falling from Baekhyun’s face as the smaller nods into it.
“That’s right, puppy. I know you want it memorable and I promise it’ll be just that. I might enter you raw and make you bleed but I’m also going to be gentle with you since it’s your first time.” He looks back at Junmyeon who nods his approval. “Some bleeding is fine as long as it doesn’t leave scarring. The type that’s not allowed is the type Kyungsoo had too much fun with one time and we had to scrub the entire room of all that blood. It was such a mess. But unlike Kyungsoo over there, I’m not THAT violent and I’m generous. I promise I’ll give you so much fucking pleasure with the pain. You’ll moan for me baby and beg for me before it’s over. You want that sweet aching hole eaten out, don’t you? Nod puppy. I know you want it."
Baekhyun doesn't move, doesn't know how to react. Chanyeol helps him, nods Baekhyun's head for him. "Feel me, babyboy, I’m already hard for you.” He takes Baekhyun’s hand away from Jongdae and places it on his pants. Baekhyun notices Chanyeol's strength right away. It was this handsome boy in front of him that had carried him inside. Baekhyun thought for sure he'd be older yet he looks roughly the same age as Baekhyun or Jongdae. But he is bigger than both of them, towering and muscular. He'd felt Chanyeol's back muscles flex across his stomach as he carried him inside and now he's seeing just how muscular this boy is up close, shirt sleeves barely fitting and thigh muscles so prominent he can see them through his pants. He knows that Chanyeol will use his towering size and erection to his detriment, making him suffer in ways he never thought possible. He tries to jerk his hand back but Chanyeol is strong, much stronger than Baekhyun, and he easily holds it in place. He presses it firmly to his erection and rubs Baekhyun’s hand up and down his shaft, leaning forward and moaning in Baekhyun’s ear. “This is all for you later, puppy.” He smirks and looks at Kyungsoo who hasn’t determined what he’s going to do with the pretty boy who remains sitting still, eyes on the ground. Daddy sits back and watches it all like someone would watch a movie; Kai by his side unmoving, silent. A good soldier.
“Say something.” A command by Kyungsoo who doesn’t budge from his position. This has Jongdae looking up making eye contact for the first time. Captor and captive. Jongdae tries to mask the defiance in his eyes, the fire that burns everything Jongdae is holding back, but it’s to no avail. It’s almost as if Kyungsoo can see through him or read his thoughts and it’s in this moment that Jongdae realizes “say something” is both a test and a threat. On any given day Jongdae would retort with “something” as a one-up to the person making a threat to him and his best friend, protective as he is. But this isn’t any given day and he has no idea what reply he’s expected to give so he simply responds with “What would you have me say?”
A smirk. It earns him a smirk from this psychopath.
The psychopath that gives off a very keen sense something is brooding within him, ready to overflow if the right buttons are pushed. Jongdae hopes to heaven or any saving grace that he will not push those buttons tonight, that he will control his tongue, and that he and Baekhyun will make it out alive. “Daddy” might be chaotic - with more of a stern temper, fluid in his reactions with each passing moment. And Chanyeol might be chaotic in that dark perverted sense. But Kyungsoo doesn’t seem chaotic at all. Each movement seems purposeful. A machine, driven, with well-oiled parts. Or a ticking time bomb. It was hard to tell. And, for whatever reason, his interest was the soft boy sitting beneath him, head down and eyes averted.
“Tell me Jongdae… Baekhyun…. Out of everyone here, who would you rather fuck first?” Their eyes look up to Daddy who interjects himself between the tension. “I’ll give each of you a chance to go first and you won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t say it’s me.” He lets out a hearty chuckle, satisfied with his joke. The reality given normal circumstances is that Daddy is attractive and he knows it. Lush, thick hair, a beautiful hairline, thick eyebrows, petite face, and puckering lips. He has the type of face you’d see on the cover of a magazine or as a lead in a drama. Yet he chose this life and all it had or didn’t have to offer and Jongdae wonders where it all went wrong. “Hmm you two are quiet boys... That's okay. We’ll start with puppy boy.”
Baekhyun’s panic sets in “I-I’ve never. I can’t…”
“You can and you will. Don’t make me take you for myself without you choosing Baekhyun. I am trying to do you a favor by letting you have this choice when my boy over here,” he motions to Chanyeol whose eyes stay locked on the timid boy before him, “wants to fuck you senseless and would probably do anything to have you first. So choose or I’ll choose for you.” Daddy’s personality is mutable. Laughing one minute, threatening the next. All tinged with a modicum of sober intent.
Jongdae can feel Baekhyun’s dread, his hysteria rising. This entire situation is too much pressure on a boy who only wanted to enjoy a few days with his best friend. The dissolved safety coupled with never having sex before and now having to do so in front of or with strangers leads his usual cool demeanor to fade into oblivion while this panicked one emerges.
“I-I’ll do it.” Jongdae calls out, hoping he’s not reprimanded for inflating his turn. He’s never really thought about doing these things with Baekhyun but if it means he can save his friend some trauma and pain then by all means. At least he would be gentle with Baekhyun’s first time and if the tables are turned he knows Baekhyun will be gentle with him. He cannot say the same for anyone else here. Chanyeol had just threatened to rape Baekhyun and make him bleed. And God knows what Kyungsoo has planned for Jongdae. It’s better this way.
The indignation in Chanyeol builds swiftly. “Absolutely not! No fucking way! Kai did not steal these fucking twinks to let them have sex with each other. And my dick isn’t hard to fuck… who.. Kyungsoo… Kai… or your slut Sehun?!”
Daddy sits back, calm, smiling, and speaks in a slow manner. “If I wasn’t in such a good mood because of this fresh meat my baby Nini brought us, you’d be chained in the basement and I’d be telling Kyungsoo to sharpen his instruments. Don’t you EVER talk to me like that again. Do you understand me, Chanyeol? If you don’t want your meat suit drying in the sun, that is. Show. Me. Respect.”
Chanyeol's eyes widen at the thought of what he had just done and it's instantly followed with prostration and a series of apologies, making clear despite size who has the upper hand here. “I’m sorry Daddy. I-I don’t know what overcame me. I didn’t mean to be so disrespectful. I’m sorry...”
“You should be, boy. But as I said I'm in a good mood." He motions for Kai to sit on his lap. "Another reason I’m excusing you is that I like to see my boys primal. Primal urges. Primal actions. You want to rape this pretty boy so bad, make him yours? Be the first one inside him?”
Chanyeol caresses Baekhyun’s face again, eyes tearing up at the thought of losing out on this innocent boy to anyone else. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Hmm… To be fair, I wouldn’t mind these two twinks fucking each other. But at the same time, I don’t want to - oh fuck- see you sad, son. It's quite the dilemma - ah ah fuck - don't you think so Kai?” Daddy says with a struggle because Kai's bouncing on his lap, stimulating himself from Daddy's growing erection in an attempt to earn affection from the older. And Daddy is doing his best not to give in and fuck into Kai's needs and wants, the thin fabric of their pants barely obstructing penetration the younger so desperately seeks. That's simply not how you train a soldier. He doesn't even reach out his hands to grip Kai's waist because a touch-starved Kai is eager and willing. A touch-starved Kai is best. Once he's properly trained Daddy will fuck into him as much as he does his baby Sehun. For now, there are many lessons to be learned.
Kai doesn't let up bouncing on his Daddy's clothed dick but still manages to make a suggestion that he hopes will win some favor for later when Daddy is using him and touching him and finally giving him attention. He suggests writing the names down and drawing the choice fairly, leaving it up to fate. An answer Daddy acknowledges with the briefest touch against Kai's jaw. But it earns scorn from Chanyeol who suggests tossing a coin or a die. Kai knows Chanyeol has a one-sided coin that he has used more than once in his favor. He never told Daddy though because Chanyeol told him "Snitches get stitches" and he didn't bother to tell Chanyeol that Daddy already knows. But it's Kyungsoo who has the best idea.
“Why don’t they fight each other and the winner takes all?” It wasn’t fair in the slightest and that's what made it perfect. Someone small like Jongdae could not take on someone like Chanyeol unless they were especially skilled in some type of fighting, which Jongdae was not. Daddy loves the idea because of what it means. That Baekhyun will tell Jongdae no, not to risk it, not with these men because you never know what could happen. And Jongdae reassuring he would risk it all to save Baekhyun from Chanyeol. To Baekhyun pleading even if Jongdae goes first, Chanyeol and the others will still share them both. And at least if Chanyeol goes first, Baekhyun can be safe in the knowledge that Jongdae’s not bleeding out somewhere and then still having to please these sadists, bruised and bloody. Daddy lets them discuss it between themselves, imagining the conversation. He sees Baekhyun and Jongdae cry and hug each other, knowing it means that Jongdae gave in to Baekhyun and that Chanyeol would, in fact, fuck Baekhyun first.
Hi guys it seems like I have a small writer block and don’t know how to write paper hearts pt 6 🤣🤣🤣 so my suggestion is that you send in any scenarios request as a writing training to get rid of the writer block (this always happen whenever I start write academic papers and thesis lol) so yeah
Pairing: Baekhyun x reader (female, nickname: Hitchcock)
Word Count: 11,090 words
Rating: PG13 - swearing and brief discussions of sex
Summary: You and your best friend Baekhyun have worked at the movie theater for years. Starting in high school, all the way through college, and now on nights and weekends while you work your “real jobs” during the day. The energy, the free movies, and Baek’s entertaining personality make it the perfect escape from the stress of the corporate world.
All of your friends marvel at the fact that you two seem to have dispelled the myth that a man and woman can’t be just friends. But Halloween night at the mall turns everything on its head, in more ways than one.
Part ten of the Exodus Mall series (Can be read independently, but you’ll get some extra backstory if you read the other parts first!)
A/N: It’s here 😭 The official Last Post for the EXO Mall series. Thank you so much to everyone who has joined me on this journey for the past four and a half years, it means more to me than I can put into words 💕 This one’s for y’all.
Halloween is always a noteworthy weekend at the Exodus Mall.
Children come to the mall with their families and enjoy trick or treating at all the stores, walking around with the Monster Mash and other spooky songs playing over the loudspeakers. Bosses and managers delight in record sales and happy employees, inspired by the festive mood. And for your group of friends - it’s the annual all-night party at the movie theater.
It started, as most wild ideas do, with Baekhyun.
The Halloween of 1990 when you were both eighteen was a Halloween in which everything possible went wrong.
The popcorn machine blew up, yet again. The film canister delivery company went on strike and your manager had to drive down to the FedEx depot to retrieve the reels so you and Baek could make the films in time for the preview showings. And, most disastrously, you had to watch Baek kiss Molly Simmons next to theater three as the late night turned into an impromptu party at work.
Each year since that night the party has grown to include friends and fellow mall employees from most stores. Drinks usually emerge at some point after the mall closes down. A ruckus and highly competitive game of hide and seek in the theater begins after the last of the customers leave. And inevitably, by the break of dawn, some couple or another has broken up or gotten together.
Halloween is always a noteworthy weekend at the Exodus Mall, and the Halloween of 1997 is no exception.
Thursday October 30th, 1997
Your inbox at Microsoft is normally a chaotic mess, even more so during the month of October, in the lead-up to the annual product release for the holiday shopping season. As the sun rises, spilling light into the cramped office you share with two other project managers, you are ignoring all messages in your work email for a single one in your personal inbox.
The subject line reads “Congratulations!” and in your gut you know you got the job you applied for on a whim weeks ago. The one at the movie theater chain’s headquarters in New York City on the marketing team, the one you never in a million years thought you’d get. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
Torn between delight and dread, all you want to do is tell Baekhyun. Your best friend… that you’ve been inconveniently in love with for the better part of a decade. And a solid fifty percent of the reason you applied to the job in the first place.
Half because you’re tired of the endless grind at Microsoft and burning the candle at both ends working part time at the theater. Half because you’re dying to jump into a more creative role with opportunities for growth. And half because the ache of being near Baekhyun, but not in the way you want, is too great to bear.
Yes, you’re aware that’s a hundred and fifty percent, but you can be forgiven in the moment as your mind struggles to process the enormity of this acceptance.
With a shaking hand you open the email and read through the details. The paperwork you’ll need to print, sign, and fax back. The details of the relocation package they are offering. And at the bottom, in bold font, the start date. A mere two weeks from Monday. You knew they were eager to get started before the holiday push, but the urgency of it all makes your gut do somersaults.
Leaning back in your chair, you lift a hand to cover your mouth, looking out at the Seattle skyline from the twentieth floor. Sunlight bouncing off the surface of Lake Washington and the early morning ships sailing to and from the port and the harbor. People down below, no bigger than ants, going about their own commute.
And somewhere close, just a few blocks away, the Exodus Mall waits for you.
How will Baekhyun take this? you wonder, dropping your hand and staring blankly at the computer screen. Will he be sad you’re gone? Will anyone else at the Mall? Or will the hole in his life be filled up just as quickly as your spot on the staffing schedule? Before you can shake your head and dismiss the worry as ridiculous, the man in question pops his head into your office.
“Ready for tonight?” He waggles his eyebrows.
Sliding his hands into the pockets of his gray trousers, he leans against your door frame. It shouldn’t be charming - the way his grin and messy hair are so starkly contrasted by the white button down, black tie, and tailored gray suit jacket (yes, you were the one who forced him to get it tailored, naturally) - but of course it is. Everything about him is charming, attractive, maddening. As it always has been
You fumble for the mouse, clicking out of your personal email. “Hey, you’re in early.”
Willing your heart to stop racing at the sight of him, you force yourself to take a deep breath and shove down the guilt of hiding this from him. He can read you so easily, you’re certain that the job offer is somehow broadcast across your face.
“And yes, I’m so ready. Absolutely. The dev team is killing me with these delays. My boss is breathing down my neck non-stop. I’m so incredibly over it.”
Baekhun shakes his head. “I keep telling you, you need to take it easy like I do.” He yawns, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more pronounced when he meets your gaze. “You set the bar too high, now they’ll expect too much of you.”
With a scoff, you stand up. “That’s because your heart is in the theater and you could not care less about Microsoft.”
He shrugs. He says he took the job because ‘he thought he should,’ after graduation, not from any sense of purpose or enjoyment. It’s been an endless source of confusion for you and your friends why he did it in the first place, given the complete lack of corporate-ness about him.
“Did you hear about the new job opening?” He keeps his voice casual, but there’s something intent in his expression.
You swallow, finding a random stack of already organized folders to tidy, avoiding his eyes. “Uh. No - sorry, what job?” How on earth would he have known about the New York offer? It literally just came through.
But you needn’t have worried. “Yeah, Tony’s finally leaving.” Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, staring out the window. “Retiring after forty years, can you believe it?”
Oh, thank goodness. “Wow. No shit?” Your manager at the cinema always jokes that he came original with the building. None of you thought he’d ever leave. “I thought he’d die and be absorbed into the foundation,” you joke.
“I know, right?” Despite the cubicles in the open center of the office filling up, Baekhyun still stays.
When he looks up to you once more, you know exactly what he’s planning. Either from being far too observant of him or from best friend telepathy. “Wait, are you going to apply?”
He gives you a sheepish grin, lifting a hand to run along his neck. “I was thinking about it. Jamie said she’d put in a good word for me with the corporate stiffs.”
Would you be a corporate stiff if you took this job? You huff out a nervous laugh, hoping you don’t sound too hysterical. “I think the job is yours, if you want it.” Stepping closer, you rest your hands on his shoulders. “Everyone loves you. Literally, everyone.”
“Really?” The playful edge to his smile fades as his eyes scan your face. “Everyone?”
Oh, touching him was a mistake. But lately it seems like you can’t help it.
The easy intimacy of your friendship has taken on a new charge since Dolores issued her challenge at New Year’s. Where once you’d throw your legs in his lap at video game nights or tickle him whenever you pass him at work (the theater, Microsoft would frown on such fraternization), now you keep your hands to yourself.
You drop them from his shoulders quickly, as though burned.
Baekhyun’s stare drifts from your mouth to your palms at your sides. He doesn’t say anything. Neither of you have said anything about it for ten months. In the days after that morning in the diner, you’d thought he might say something, anything. But aside from a few teasing jabs here and there, you’d both returned to ignoring the situation.
“Yes,” you say, swallowing as your throat runs dry when he meets your eyes again, more serious than you’ve ever seen him. “You know that. Half the crew would take a bullet for you if they had to.” Your laugh is hollow even to your own ears.
Coward. The word echoes in your mind as you turn back to your desk, heart racing. It would be so easy to say something. To finally ask him if he feels the same way about you, to know once and for all if he feels just friendship for you or something more. The vision of how crushing it would be to hear him say the former to you turns your stomach.
It’s kept you up at night since high school. Wondering ‘what if.’ What if he was more than just your best friend? What if it was you he kissed next to theater three tonight? But - what if you ruined everything and lost everything you already have? What a clusterfuck.
The email with Congratulations! peeks out from the side of your computer screen. You turn to Baekhyun to tell him - about the job or god, even your feelings - propelled by the excitement of the offer. But when you turn around he’s no longer in your doorway. A member of his team has pulled him away, gesturing to the launch timeline whiteboard behind the cubicles.
The man’s words about deadlines and quotas goes quiet, fading as Baekhyun turns to give you an apologetic sigh. He rolls his eyes at his co-worker’s stress and gives you a small smile. You take it like a life preserver and laugh, returning his expression with a shrug before taking a seat at your desk.
You can practically hear Dolores yelling the word coward from the diner blocks away. With a groan you drop your head on top of your hands where they rest on your desk. A muffled ‘fuck’ is all you allow yourself before sitting up and starting work officially.
It’s going to be a long night, and the sooner you finish, the sooner you can leave.
Baekhyun jabs a finger into the knot of his tie with glee, loosening it until the tie comes undone.
For the year and a half he’s worked at Microsoft it’s felt like a noose. Sliding into his car, he hangs it over the rearview mirror and sighs, relaxing back into the seat. He knows he should be grateful for the job. It pays well, allowing him to afford his car, his apartment, and everything he could ever need.
But it’s just not him. And the manager opportunity at the theater makes that fact even more clear in comparison.
He fades away at talks of reports and powerpoints and spreadsheets. He thrives assisting customers, talking movies with the staff, and even scraping dried butter off the inside of the poppers. Working at the theater is worth it for him, even when he has to get on his hands and knees and grab empty cups and wrappers from under the seats when he cleans theaters, dancing to the terrible muzak that plays in-between showings.
He bites his lip, tapping a pattern on his steering wheel and staring at the pictures taped to his glove box. It’s the best part of his old, beat-up Camry - the collage of memories from the last several years.
A faded polaroid of him, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and you at graduation. Caps askew and illicit champagne spewing from the bottle in his hands. Your eyes closed in laughter as your hand lifts his graduation robe up to protect you from the spray. Chanyeol grinning ear to ear with an arm around Kyungsoo, rubbing his knuckles into the shorter man’s hair.
A photo of the original crew from the theater when he was sixteen, overly bright from the flash, as a full two rows of you sprawled out in the seats before the memorable Waterworld screening. Popcorn thrown by a co-worker frozen in midair. People’s legs propped up on the backs of seats and arms wrapped around each other. He can feel the camaraderie through the photo but what draws him, as always, is the two of you next to each other. And the way your head is on his shoulder.
Another from the day you both started at Microsoft. You in the hideous brown shoes your mom gave you and him in the most ill-fitting suit he’d ever worn. It was his mom’s idea - to take a photo of the two of you on his front porch. Just like she’d do every year on the first day of school.
So many photos and you were in all of them. Beside him, where you belong.
The one from junior prom when your dates both got food poisoning from an undercooked crab bake and you ended up going together. Your cute pink dress and his corsage matching the boutonnière you’d gotten him. The love written across his face as you look at the camera and he looks at you like you’re the goddamn sun itself.
The two of you in Chanyeol’s car in the Dick’s parking lot after a long night, passed out against each other in the back seat. Bijoux and Kyungsoo making silly faces and throwing fries at each other while Chanyeol’s hand half covers the frame.
The one you sent him of you making an inappropriate gesture at the leaning tower of Pisa, the awful summer in college where your family went to Europe for a few weeks.
He sighs, dropping his elbows to the steering wheel and running both hands through his hair. It’s all you. It’s always been you.
He’s almost made a move so many times over the years. During senior year after Molly Simmons broke up with him, when she told him flat out she knew he was in love with you. Sophomore year in college, during Christmas break, when you ended up under the mistletoe at his family’s Christmas party. New Year’s Day after Dolores placed her bet and threw his world for a loop.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you. He does, more than he wants this manager job. More than he wanted Nirvana tickets or to beat Minseok at beer pong or anything else he’s ever wanted in his life. Lately it’s been an almost unbearable unspoken truce with you. So many times over the past few months he’s felt like you were about to say something. Or things got quiet and you looked at him and he almost blurted out everything.
But he’s never managed to find the words. Or the nerve. And so he’s stayed in this strange detente with you, all the while hopelessly in love with his best friend.
If he wasn’t so torn up about it he’d find the humor in being trapped in a classic friends to lovers romance movie like the ones he’s seen a hundred times over the years at the theater. But the movies never manage to capture the way fear and doubt over ruining a great friendship will choke you when you try to confess.
As incredible as the countless fantasies are - the ones he’s had about kissing you or calling you his girlfriend in public or other more indecent ones that make his palms sweat - even more prominent in his mind is what happened with Chanyeol and Bijoux. Granted, they were actually dating when they broke up. But the sheer devastation that haunted Chanyeol for months, years even, until they got back together stays present in his mind.
How could he live with himself if he made a move and you left? Would life even be bearable without you in it? And if he devastated you by asking and ruining things? Impossible.
A knocking on his window has him jerking back, blinking. You tap on his window once more and he sighs in relief. Tossing your suit jacket over your shoulder, you walk backwards to your own car with a grin playing at your lips.
“Better get a move on!” you yell so he can hear you through the glass. “Loser has to be the seeker tonight!”
He laughs and rolls his eyes, waving you off with an amused swipe of his hand. “You’re on!”
He should get his shit together and head to his apartment to clean up before his shift at the theater. But instead he watches you slide into your car and make that face you make when you undo your hairstyle. A relieved expression and a nose scrunch that makes him swoon.
It should be illegal, he thinks, to know someone so deeply, to know their every gesture and expression and thought, and to not get to kiss them.
As you drive off with a honk and a wave all Baekhyun can do is sit in his car, realizing for the thousandth time that he could change that if he was brave enough to risk it all.
But, like always, he kisses you only in his imagination and starts his car.
When you walk into the lobby at seven, the first thing that happens is the exact thing you didn’t want to happen. Jamie, the assistant manager and your longtime friend, gives an excited squeal and bustles around the concessions counter to hug you.
“Congratulations!” she practically yells, the sound bouncing around the nearly-empty lobby. “Tony told me they let you know you got the job today. I’ll miss you like hell, but I’m proud of you. How do you feel?” She leans back, the joy on her face, the genuine celebration and pride, makes you soft.
“Just about every emotion under the sun.” You reach for her sleeve and drag her over near the arcade, hastily looking around to make sure Baekhyun hasn’t arrived yet. “But you have to keep it a secret, okay? Nobody but you and Tony know, right?”
She pulls up, her expression morphing to confusion. “Uhh. Just Emile. Only the leadership team gets notified. But -” she purses her lips and folds her arms. “You still haven’t told anyone, have you?”
You give her a pained smile and shrug. “No.” Her sass levels are rising and you hold out your hands in surrender. “But hear me out -”
“Not even Baekhyun?” She fixes you with a stare that would strip paint off the walls. “Hitch, you have to be kidding me. This is huge, you can’t keep it from him.”
With a groan, you hang your head. “God, I know. I know. You’re right. Just -” You back up and sag when you hit the outside of the James Bond pinball machine. “How do I tell him?”
The sass fades and is replaced by her usual kindness. “You suck it up and tell him you’re leaving.” Okay, so it’s kindness mixed with tough love. But still, it’s what you need to hear. “Or you could get off your ass and tell that boy you’ve been in love with him since the day you met him.”
You don’t bother denying it. She’s seen everything and she knows.
She found you crying in the locker room in the employee lounge after he kissed Molly Simmons. She bought you Starbucks for a week after he started dating Kelly Cho junior year of college. And she’s been the big sister you’ve always needed. Not that your younger sister wouldn’t understand, but she’s so soft and romantic she wouldn’t get why you didn’t just confess ages ago.
“I can’t, Jamesey, you know that.”
“For the millionth time I ask you, the ladies and gentleman of the jury, why the fuck not?” Some customers come through the front doors and she rests a hand on your shoulder. “You’re moving across the country in two weeks, babe. You can’t wait much longer.”
She starts walking back to concessions, waving to the customers. But not before turning back and fixing you with that intense stare again. “It’s now or never. You both deserve to know. Tonight.”
With a whine you sling your purse over your shoulder and head up the stairs to get changed into your uniform, her words burning a hole in your mind. You know that you have to tell him about the job. Tonight. Word will get out in no time and you can’t even imagine how sad he’d be if he didn’t find out about the job from you personally.
But confessing how you feel? Maybe after a few drinks. Halloween, after all, is a time to be someone different than you normally are. Maybe tonight you’ll finally find your courage.
The projection booth is as familiar to Baekhyun as his own reflection in the mirror.
The slippery feel of the film between his gloved fingers. The creak and whine of the old feeder as it spins from one reel to the next. The distinct smell of the old carpet and the grease that keeps the projectors flowing. The stains and initials and doodles on the wood of the table from years of previous employees.
He pauses building the films for tomorrow’s new releases and goes to start the seven o’clock set of movies.
Baekhyun loves watching the movie start, every single time, even after hundreds and hundreds of showings.
Winding the film around the platters and through the projector with speed and accuracy (decidedly not thinking about how you made a joke about his ‘quick fingers’ when he won the employee threading race a few years ago). Hitting the button to turn down the lights. Opening the ancient glass windows to listen and confirm the audio track started.
Hanging there with the click and whir of the movie playing beside him, watching the credits he spliced together himself play before a mostly-full audience, he’s never felt more at home. That alone should reassure him that staying here and taking the manager job is meant for him.
Not many people would believe him if he said he preferred to be behind the scenes. With how outgoing and playful and yes, loud, he is - he knows that everyone would assume he loves being the center of attention. But watching and enjoying and working in the background suits him just as well as laughing and partying with his friends.
And as he walks in the darkened hallway down to the next projector, tucking his printed off start times schedule back into his work pants, his thoughts turn to you once more.
How many people have hooked up in the various turns and corners of the projection booth? He himself has kissed a person or two up here during work - especially in high school when the theater functioned as a dating rotation for all the young employees.
Halloween always makes him think of the one and only time he’s kissed you. And he still feels the pressure of your lips on his like a phantom, up here in the dark. Even years later, his body refuses to forget you.
It was a party where many firsts happened. When Chanyeol and Bijoux first got together. When Kyungsoo got wasted for the first (and last) time in history. And when the two of you ended up playing a game of seven minutes in heaven, landing yourselves in his laundry room alone.
The two of you had spent the first two minutes laughing at the situation. Giddy from far too many jello shots, ears ringing from the overly loud music. He wanted to kill his friends and thank them in equal measure for putting the two of you together.
To hide the frantic beating of his heart at the thought of kissing you, he’d hastily shoved his clean clothes into his hamper.
But then you jumped up onto Baekhyun’s mother’s dryer. And after a very long, tipsy minute, he followed his desire and his hands landed on your knees, a touch that felt both achingly familiar and excitingly new.
‘Well. Why don’t we? Just to see?’ he’d said, lifting an eyebrow in jest, never imagining you’d take him up on it.
In the intervening years he’d tried to block out way you grinned - half from competitive spirit and half from something far deeper - hands gently lifting to cup his face as you answered, “just to see.”
The electricity that passed as his thumbs rubbed small circles on your knees and your fingers felt the racing of his pulse. How the first tentative kiss turned heated in the blink of an eye and to this day he doesn’t know who it was that pushed things further.
Your lips that tasted like Dr. Pepper lip balm and the soft sound you made when he boldly moved his hands upward to your thighs and the delicious sting at the nape of his neck as your hands grew needy and - aaaand now he’s hard at work. Fantastic.
Baekhyun sighs, resuming his station to continue splicing the next reel, ignoring pointedly his arousal. Standing in the booth, he can still feel the heat in your eyes when he pulled back to look at you. Both breathing heavy and clinging to each other. The confusion and desire that warred in your irises before Chanyeol had banged on the door and made some loud comment, startling you two apart.
He had no idea how you felt the next morning, waking up hungover the day after the party. Or today, all these years later, for that matter, but he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’d been just as attracted to him as he was to you in that moment.
No matter what either of you claimed in the years since, for seven minutes in that closet the two of you were on the precipice of becoming more than just friends.
The reel ends, slipping through his fingers and spinning wildly around the platter. ‘Fuck!’
He flips off the switch to stop it, laughing and running his hands through his hair. All these years later and I’m still not over it. With a sigh he brings the end of the film back to the splicer and opens the metal container to lift out the next reel, slotting it onto the machine.
I wonder if I ever will be. But of course, he already knows the answer.
“Oh my gosh, you’re serious?”
It wasn’t Baekhyun you told first about the job tonight, it was your sister. After a busy evening rush, you snuck away to Starbucks on break in a desperate bid for caffeination. And emotional support. As someone who recently had their world turned upside down by love, you knew she’d understand.
Her eyes go wide and she reaches a hand for your knee. “This is huge! Congratulations.”
You sink lower into the cozy armchair in the main lobby of the mall, clutching your coffee for support. “I haven’t told Baekhyun.” Tired after a long and confusing day, you don’t even bother to bury the lead. “About any of it.”
She nearly chokes on her tea. “Wait, you mean you haven’t told him that you got the job? I’m shocked - don’t you two practically share a brain?”
You wince and take a huge sip. “That I applied,” you mutter.
Her jaw drops. “But - he’s - you -” She waves her hand in the air, neatly summing up the decade you’ve been best friends and hopelessly in love.
“I know.” The surprise and confusion on her face confirms that yes, it is exactly as bad a situation as you worried it would be.
She opens her mouth again but closes it, her expression settling. “But why?”
You stare at the parquet flooring. The muzak for the day is already Halloween-themed, even though the official mall celebration isn’t until tomorrow on the thirty-first. In all the excitement you hadn’t given too much thought to how it would feel to not work here anymore, after so long.
The stores that were once just shopfronts are now businesses run by friends.
KMS Music is packed after a recent re-release of Thriller. Greyhame Books is decorated to the nines, complete with fake spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns that you know Bookworm loves and Minseok tolerates. Sehun and Starlight walk by with Jongin and his girlfriend and you all wave to each other as they talk excitedly about Soo’s Halloween special pizza.
If you leave, you’ll miss seeing Junmyeon’s son all dressed up in his costumes each year. You won’t get half off chocolates at Sinful or free breadsticks for girls night with Bijoux and Sunshine. You’d have to back out of that lecture on the Dutch masterpieces at UW in December with Jongdae’s girlfriend.
Your heart speeds up and your breathing grows shallow. “Oh, God. I haven’t thought this through at all,” you laugh nervously. “It was impulsive, I just - I couldn’t take being around Baekhyun anymore. It hurts too much.”
She sets her tea on the table and grabs your drink to do the same. Resting her other hand on your knee, she tells you to breathe. It occurs to you that if you move you won’t get to see her every day, either. In your haste to avoid how much your heart is hurting, you hadn’t thought about the larger implications of this one-in-a-million job actually accepting you.
Could you even survive away from your family - both blood and chosen?
“Is it cause of that bet from Dolores? Did Baek finally tell you he doesn’t see you like that?” At your grimace she gasps, dropping her head with a groan. “You haven’t even asked him, have you? Did we not literally just talk about this on Labor Day?”
There’s no use lying. “No, I haven’t.”
Her head whips up and she looks flabbergasted. “I can’t believe you! My whole life you’ve been so brave. So driven and outgoing and badass. How is this one man the thing that has thrown a wrench into everything?” She’s not angry or disappointed, but her regard for you is a knife to the gut.
“You’re right.” Everything you’ve ever wanted, you went for. The internships and advanced classes in college and the promotions at the theater and the social events you planned to build camaraderie. “I don’t know what it is about him that makes me such a chickenshit. I feel everything I’ve ever wanted to feel around him, but for some reason I can’t ever fucking say it.”
“A particularly tall, charming man in a leather jacket once told me that one night can change everything,” she says softly, waiting for you to look at her. “If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. And you and Baekhyun, more than anyone I’ve ever met, deserve to know.”
You sigh, pressing your hands on top of hers. “When did you get so wise, double shot?”
She sighs at the childhood nickname and you are startled all over again to realize she’s twenty-two now. “Well, a few months ago someone made a bet and I fell in love, if you’ll remember.” Baekhyun’s prompting to Tao is something he delightfully brings up every time your sister mentions her boyfriend. “It’s taught me a lot.”
“How is Tao doing? He’s coming to town for the weekend, right? For that show Chan’s doing at Moe’s for Halloween.” You finish your coffee and set the mug on the table.
“Nope, we are not talking about me right now,” she says with a firm stare. With a sass you’ve very rarely seen her exhibit, she pulls on your hands until you stand up. Turning you around she gently shoves you towards the theater.
“You have a certain someone to talk to. And much that I love that pain in the ass, his name does appropriately rhymes with ache. Go fix your heart already and tell me how it goes later at the party. If you still haven’t by the time I’m off, I’m telling him for you.”
You stumble slightly as you look at her over her shoulder. She crosses her arms and raises a brow expectantly, resembling your mother with striking clarity. “Fine, fine. I’m going!”
“Good!” She yells as you bustle back towards work. “Consider it a bet!”
Baekhyun finishes queueing up the two films for screening that night, starts the rest of the nine to ten o’clock set of movies, and heads downstairs to grab some snacks.
As always, some of his friends have shown up for the screenings (and what would be a pregame for the Halloween party tonight). Chanyeol and Kyungsoo carry a few pizzas into the movie Baekhyun will be watching tonight while Sunshine, Lavender, and Bijoux head into theater two with armfuls of sweets from Sinful, where Hitch has volunteered to screen the awful serial killer romcom that’s coming out tomorrow.
He doesn’t see you yet, but his palms grow hot thinking about his tentative plan to, uhm, possibly ask you out tonight. Or something. Baekhyun is at a loss how to jump over the canyon between being friends and being more. Lovers or partners or something, anything other than this odd truce you’ve had since New Year’s.
Just as his stomach fills with butterflies at the thought of getting to kiss you again, he spots you zipping up your hoodie, heading for theater two. Weaving around the last stragglers from the set of films that just started, he catches up to you and grabs your sleeve.
Your eyes go wide. “Baek. Hey. I was looking for you, actually.” Stepping back, you lose your footing.
He reaches for your other elbow to steady you. “Hey, I was looking for you. Too, I mean.” Lord, could he sound more nervous?
“Well, you found me,” you tease, huffing out a laugh, the warm air cascading over his cheeks.
For a long moment, you simply watch each other. He could look at you forever and not get tired.
It’s closer than he’s been to you in weeks, standing with his hands holding your elbows. Looking at your face for the millionth time as the lobby empties around you, wondering how he didn’t grab you and kiss you again after seven minutes in heaven. Why hasn't he begged you to be his in the many years in between?
The intelligence and humor and warmth in your expression has been his anchor for so long he can’t imagine a day where he isn’t the first one you look for in a crowd. Where you’d rest your head on someone else’s shoulder or fight someone else for the good paddle at air hockey or steal someone else’s french fries.
He sways closer, drawn to you like the magnets everyone jokes the two of you are. Always together. Hitch and Baek. Baek and Hitch. A matched pair. Oh, how they all poke and prod him when he shrugs off yet another question about if the two of you are really just friends.
Your brows pull together as you hold his focus, mouth opening slightly as your own hands rest on his forearms. So many emotions cross your face he can’t single one out. Trepidation and curiosity and need and sadness and hope. He almost bends, then, skipping over the words and pressing his lips to yours, hoping that his kiss will say far more than he ever could articulate out loud.
Baekhyun doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there, but eventually Sunshine pokes her head out of theater two looking for Hitch. The two of you jump apart like you’ve been caught doing something illegal.
“Don’t let me interrupt!” she calls, giggling and ducking back into the theater.
And at the same moment the door to upstairs opens to your left and Tony waves a hand. “Baekhyun, just the man I wanted to see!” The older man gives him a broad smile and points up to the office. “Come talk to me after you start the screenings. I’ve got something to discuss with you.”
With a sigh, Baekhyun nods to you and heads for the door. You take a few steps backwards towards the theater, looking uncertain.
“We’ll talk after, at the party?” he asks, hating the idea of trying to get you alone while the Halloween celebration is in full swing.
You nod, uncharacteristically quiet. Reaching for his hand, you give it a quick squeeze before disappearing into the theater.
He groans as the door silently closes. Running his hands through his hair he turns to look at the lobby, catching Jamie’s eye as she wipes down the concession counter. She pauses and rests her forearms on the counter, giving him a knowing look. Baekhyun flips the hood up on his hoodie and escapes up the stairs to the office.
Tony is leaning back in his plush leather desk chair in the manager’s office when Baekhyun opens the door a few minutes later.
“So, I hear you’re finally going out to pasture?” he teases with a grin, slipping into the chair opposite Tony.
The boss chuckles and closes up the folders in front of him, pushing them to the side. “That’s right. You’ve finally given me one too many heart attacks and I’m retiring for my health.” He slaps his hand to his knee and sighs. “I’m just kidding. The wife just retired from Boeing and it feels like time to go out while I’m on top.”
Baekhyun messes with the fraying fabric of the chair, avoiding his eyes. He’s suddenly far too emotional to speak. Since his parents got divorced, Tony’s almost been a second father to him. The thought of not seeing him constantly at work hurts. Even if it means potentially getting his dream job after all these years. A chance to make enough at the theater to allow him to stay forever.
“Hey, what’s with the long face? You know I’ll miss you, kid. We’ve had a good run together, haven’t we?”
“Yeah, we have.” Baekhyun looks up to see Tony watching him with that trademark wisdom behind his genial nature. “I’ll miss you too, big man.”
Tony shakes his head. “I’ll still stop by all the time. Don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me that easy. Especially as the new manager. I’ll be training you for a few weeks. I figure January is a nice time to hang up my hat. Think that’s enough time for you to get ready?”
Baekhyun nods for a moment before finally processing what he said, jerking upright in his seat. “Wait, what? I - you haven’t even posted the job yet, how -”
Tony holds up a hand. “We’ve all talked about it. Corporate agrees with my decision, so does the rest of the leadership team. Jamie’s happy to continue as assistant manager - she’s too busy with grad school to take the helm anyways.” He waits a moment to make sure Baekhyun is truly listening. “And besides, we all know the job is yours if you want it, kid.”
His jaw drops. “I could be the manager - just like that?” It’s everything he’s ever wanted. He loves the team and the job and the city. And the higher salary will finally allow him to quit Microsoft and give up the pretense that he works there for any reason other than seeing you more often.
“I don’t know what to say. Wow, I - I’ve thought about this for ages. I can’t believe it’s real.” His smile pulls at his cheeks, disbelief making him giddy.
“Well, you’ve earned it. Nobody knows this theater like you do, Baekhyun. I wouldn’t feel good about leaving it in anyone else’s hands. You understand this old girl and what she’s all about,” he says, reaching out a hand to run down the chipping paint of the office wall.
For a long minute they sit in silence, both absorbing the gravity of the occasion before Tony stands. “I know tonight’s a big deal, so let’s save all the paperwork and logistics until Monday. There’s plenty of time to get everything sorted out.”
Baekhyun stands as well, smiling and reaching out a hand to shake Tony’s. “That sounds great. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Tony says, waving him off. “Now get out of here and have fun.”
He practically bounds down the stairs, head swimming with joy. Baekhyun wants to carry on straight to where you are and tell you the good news. But as he peeks in and sees you laughing with your friends, he once again hesitates. Tony’s right. There’s plenty of time to talk later or this weekend or next week.
What’s the rush, right?
He loses track of you in the mess of shutting down the booth, setting up for the party, and welcoming well over fifty people into the Halloween shenanigans as stores close and the clock passes midnight.
By one in the morning, he’s desperate.
Baekhyun has checked the group of folks in the arcade and found Minseok and Bookworm battling it out over skeeball. But no you. He’s found Chanyeol and Jongdae DJ-ing together in the big theater, hosting an epic dance party. But no you. He’s even found Sunshine and Bijoux dishing out the special punch, next to Yixing and Lav spreading out some desserts.
But still, no you.
“I have a feeling I know who you’re looking for,” Jamie says, making him jump as he’s checking the store room between the concessions stand and the box office.
He presses a hand to his chest. “Are you trying to kill your new manager?”
She groans and mimes attacking him with her clipboard. “Yes, absolutely. I’m staging a coup.”
“Hmmm, I thought so, I always knew you had a mutinous look about you,” he says. Relaxing and catching his breath, he leans against the door of the store room. “So, have you seen Hitch?”
Jamie hangs up the clipboard on its spot behind the door and turns out the light, gently pushing him out into the lobby. “Okay, now that I’m off duty I can say this as your friend, not your boss.”
The corner behind the concessions stand is quiet, muffling the ruckus of the party around the corner. “Say what?”
She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Something I’ve wanted to say since before you hit puberty.”
He clicks his tongue, pretending to be offended. “Excuse me, I hit puberty well before I started here. Thank you very much.”
The gaze she fixes him with is so serious he holds his hands up in surrender. “I know you’re in love with Hitch,” she continues, as though this statement isn’t broaching a territory they’ve never discussed in the decade they’ve worked together. “But now there’s things happening. Big changes coming.”
“Like me becoming manager, you mean?” His brow furrows in confusion.
She hums, tilting her head. “Kind of. Other things it’s not my place to tell you. It’s hers. But as your friend, and someone who loves the heck out of the two of you, I have to say something.”
“I’m not following.” Baekhyun snaps his fingers. “Wait, did Hitch want the manager’s job? Maybe that’s why she was so weird this mo-”
Jamie waves her hands dramatically and blurts out, “She’s in love with you, too. You big idiot.”
He nearly falls over nothing, reaching a hand out to brace himself on the wall. “I’m sorry, could you say that again? I think I just had an aneurysm.”
Now that her declaration is out, Jamie seems remarkable more calm. She heaves out a big sigh. “Jesus Christ, I’ve been wanting to say that since 1988. Fucking hell.” With a hand on his shoulder she leans over and locks eyes with him. “That girl has been in love with you since the dawn of time.”
He opens his mouth, but she carries on. “And not just as a friend, Baekhyun. Love. Capital L O V E, hearts and flowers and candy and Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Julia Roberts rom com love. John Hughes, Princess Bride, Dirty Dancing - help, it will kill us both if we’re not together, kind of love.”
“What - uhm - why do you say that - like, what has she said?” Baekhyun wonders if he’s somehow already drunk or perhaps he fell down the stairs and he’s having a hallucination from a head injury. “Hitch. Like, my Hitch. You’re sure?”
She practically breathes flames. “Could I be any more serious?”
He doesn’t comment on the Friends reference and instead lets her words settle into his brain. Like some kind of montage, he comes to accept the truth. Everyone - from Chanyeol to Junmyeon to Sehun to Sunshine and even Kyungsoo at times - has told him to just go for it. Telling him that you obviously feel the same way.
“I thought everyone was just messing with me,” he says quietly. “All these years, I thought it was just - you know. ‘Ah, Baekhyun and Hitchcock, ha ha you should totally date.’ ‘Wow, you’re the same person, how long have you been dating?’ Et cetera.”
He moves to the wall and slides down, unable to stand as the weight of the past decade sinks onto his shoulders. It’s been a long day and a long week and a long century fighting his feelings for you and abruptly his eyes grow damp.
Jamie squats down next to him. “Hey. Hey, look at me.” Once he does, she drops the sass and instead gives him an encouraging smile. “Don’t do this. Don’t think about what might have been or beat yourself up for not going for it. She’s got a fifty-fifty share on this, too, and hasn’t made a move, even after seeing you with other girls nearly killed her.”
“Oh, God. I have so royally messed this up. I could have been -” he nearly chokes on the familiar refrain of images of the two of you together. Waving his hands into the air in front of him, sighing as he comes up empty.
“I don’t care what movies say, this isn’t all on you.” Jamie sits down next to him. “My knees are not built for squatting, wow. Now, listen to me. I am not telling you this so you can mope about it. I’m telling you so you can get your shit together and go for it. Make this official already so the entire Universe can be as it should be.”
He rolls his head to the side against the wall and pouts at her. “But what if she says no? Just because she loves me doesn’t mean she wants to be with me. I could ruin this. She could have not said anything all these years because she thinks we’d be bad together, in reality. Life isn’t a rom com, Jamie. This is real life.”
“Okay, that’s it.” She nudges his shoulder with hers. “Get up right now.” Once he fumbles to his feet, she continues. “Why. Do. You. Think. She. Hasn’t. Said. Anything.”
A lightbulb finally clicks on in his brain. “Because she worries about the exact same things as I do?”
Jamie gestures wildly and he laughs. Out loud and from his gut, until his abs hurt. The tears that had formed in his eyes at what he might have missed out on the past decade run down his cheeks. As he wipes them off with his sleeve, his thoughts turn to the future. And what might be.
“I love her,” he says quietly and Jamie claps, standing up. “Holy Batman. I love her so much. And she loves me, too?”
“Yes, God have you always been this thick?” She blows out a breath, lifting her bangs off her forehead. “If you don’t move your ass and go find her I’ll tell Tony you’re too much of a dunce to take this job.”
That makes his feet move. “Yep. On it!” When he rounds the corner to the main lobby he looks back, skidding to a stop. “And Jamie? Thank you.”
She waves him off, fighting a grin. “You’re welcome, Baekhyun. Just be sure to name your first born child after me.”
He shakes his head, stopping when he smacks into Chanyeol. He wants more than anything to call your name over the loudspeaker, but it’s apparently time for hide and seek. In the crowd he can’t place you, even when he stands on his tip toes. He’ll have to find you first it looks like. But after pining for you for over a decade, one game should be no match for him.
As soon as Baekhyun starts counting, face resting on his hands on the back of the Donkey Kong game, you bob and weave around everyone discussing places to hide.
There’s only one place you ever go. And Baekhyun knows it. Normally when the two of you play the game, you’re hiding together. You always win, given how few people would ever think to look behind the curtain.
It’s as clear of a signal to him as you can give, and you can only hope he finds you alone.
Ducking into theater eight, you dart down the aisle to the stairs on the side of the big screen. With the way the exit stairs pass by on either side, there’s a large empty space behind the screen, unlike all the other theaters. It’s the perfect place to hide. No one knows about it unless they’ve worked here for ages, back when they used to store the Christmas decorations here.
Crouching under the wooden support boards for the screen, you crawl into the hiding space. The ambient light from the theater leaking through the screen makes it not completely dark, but still quiet enough that you can catch your breath. Nerves make you wrap your hands in the sleeves of your hoodie.
It’s not just the ridiculous movie you screened tonight or the chaotic party tonight or the potential of the New York job or even your feelings for Baekhyun that make your heart race. It’s the realization that this weekend will be a dividing line in the course of your life. You can no longer sit by and let life choose for you. It’s time to decide what you really want for your future.
Immediately, your brain conjures images of Baekhyun.
Laughing when he scores in Super Mario. Sliding you the pickle from his dinner because he knows you like them. Cheering you on at varsity soccer games and comforting you when you didn’t get into Brown and waiting outside your window when you’d sneak out to go skinny dipping in the summer with the gang and endlessly onward.
Your entire life is colored by him and your throat gets tight. Of course you have dreams for your life - places you want to travel and creative projects you want to be a part of and so many more things you want to do - but he’s the only constant. Your rock. Your anchor in the storm.
Something pushes you to crawl back the way you came, suddenly unable to breathe until you find Baekhyun and tell him how you feel. A hysterical laugh makes its way from your lungs. The impending relief from finally asking. Finally knowing. Once and for all. The future will continue on regardless, but you decide to take the biggest risk of your life.
As you reach the bottom of the stairs and brush aside the curtain, you stop dead. Baekhyun is at the top of the aisle, coming to a halt in his own rushing. Did he come straight here once the countdown ended?
You huff out a laugh, shrugging, trying to be casual. “Whoops. Guess I lost the game, huh?”
“Hitch, I don’t care about the game tonight.” He takes a step closer, his uncharacteristically serious face shining out in the low light of the theater. “Jamie told me something and I couldn’t wait any longer.”
In all the busyness of the day, you’d forgotten that you hadn’t told him about the New York job. “Shit, Baekhyun. I’m sorry, I meant to tell you but today was so nuts. I promise I haven’t accepted it yet.” You take a step, reaching out a hand to him in the air. “New York is a long way away and I don’t -”
His brow tugs together in that way that makes your heart do gymnastics. “Wait, what are you talking about?”
“The - the marketing job at corporate? Didn’t Jamie tell you I was offered the job this morning?” When his expression turns to confusion, your heart leaps. “Hold on - what are you talking about?”
Suddenly he looks bashful, lifting a hand to the back of his hair as he takes another step down the aisle. “She - well, it’s not her fault. It’s mine, honestly. She just gave me the push I need.”
Realization dawns and you almost faint. “Oh my god,” is all you can whisper, lifting your sleeve-covered hands to your mouth. “And you came here to - shit.”
At that Baekhyun laughs, a warm and joyful sound that wraps around you like a hug. “Yes. I came to talk about it. Us. Finally.” He slips his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, strolling closer. “It’s about time, don’t you think?”
You smile, encouraged by his expression even as your mouth grows dry with nerves. “I was actually just coming to say the same to you. We’ve put it off for long enough.” You shrug, fighting a smile as you move closer to him.
“It’s only been a decade,” he teases. This close you can see the way his eyes crinkle in the corners when he smiles. “We could always wait til the Millennium.”
With a hum and a shake of your head you come to a stop just a few paces from him. “I think we can hold out at least until Leo finally wins an Oscar.”
He clicks his tongue. “We might be waiting a while, Hitch. And I really don’t think I can wait any longer, to be honest.” The playfulness and joking on his face is replaced by quiet contemplation.
His eyes don’t leave yours and for once in his life he you almost don’t recognize him. It’s thrilling and terrifying to realize that you might be taking a step together into something entirely new tonight. A road that you’ve both only gone down once together, a big almost in a laundry room what feels like a century ago.
“I can’t either. Baekhyun, I -” you start, emotion rising in you suddenly. That part of you that is madly in love with him, normally kept locked so tightly, bursts open and floods out, unlocked by the longing in his voice and his eyes. Was it really possible he could feel the same way about you? “How do we do this?”
You didn’t mean for the words to sound like pleading, hands lifting in the air of their own accord, but you can’t help it. If you were in this situation with anyone else, Baekhyun is who you’d turn to for advice. To support you and help you through this. But when it’s your best friend you’re in love with, you have no choice but to be honest. To be brave enough to take that step alone.
But something in his face tells you that you’re not alone. That he isn’t here tonight, looking at you like that, because he doesn’t feel the same way. He responds to your whispered question by closing the distance. When his hands close over yours, palm to palm, fingers closing tight to hold you steady, the knot of fear in your chest loosens.
“I think we just tell each other how we feel,” he says softly, scanning your face.
You nod. At the end of the day he’s always been yours, and you’ve always been his. The situation isn’t even complicated. It’s the easiest thing in the world.
“Hitch, I’m so tired of not going after the things I want.” His eyes are dark and intense, even as joy tugs at his mouth.
You remember the conversation from this morning. “Excellent. So you’re quitting Microsoft and taking the manager job, right?”
He huffs out a laugh, thumbs brushing the skin of your wrists. “Yes, I am. Besides, I only took the Microsoft job so I could see you every day.” When your jaw drops, he barrels on, as though now that he’s started talking he can’t stop. “But that’s not what I meant. Not what I want most.”
“No?” You step closer, feeling reckless and hopeful as you’re near enough to kiss him, if you just leaned in a bit more. “And what would that be?”
“You.” The word falls from his lips, confident and loud, echoing in the empty theater. “It’s always been you.”
And then he says your real name. Not Hitchcock or Hitch or loser or any of the other dozens of nicknames he’s given you over the course of your friendships.
Your name on his lips is the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. A prayer and a promise and suddenly you want to scream and cry at the same time from the sheer amount of emotion coursing through you right now.
“Baekhyun, I -”
“I don’t want to have only kissed you once, because of a game,” he says in a rush, tugging you close enough to press his forehead to yours. “I want to kiss you on purpose. All the time.”
You let out a noise that’s half a sob and half moan. Releasing his hands from yours, you lift them until they frame his face. Gently gripping his neck, fingers tangling in the back of his hair and thumbs brushing over his jaw like they did so long ago.
His hands find your waist, tightly wrapping around to pull you flush against him. “I want to be the only one who gets to kiss you for the rest of our lives,” he says, lips brushing yours.
Not willing to let him be the only one spilling his guts, you speak up. “I always think about wanting to brush my teeth next to you. To go to sleep beside you, and not just after parties and certainly not just as your friend. Is it cheesy to say I want to be the only one you wake up next to?”
He laughs, happiness vibrating off him in waves. “Only if it’s not ridiculous for me to say that you’re my best friend in the entire world, but I still want more. I want everything with you.” He presses a kiss to your forehead that warms you all the way down to your toes.
You groan, dragging his face down to yours to finally kiss him. Full on the mouth, with no seven minute timer counting down. He meets you, just like he did last time. A moan catches in his throat and he grips you tighter, hands moving to your hips to hold you steady as you tilt your head to capture his lips more completely.
For long moments you cling to him, tasting his mouth and reveling in the feeling of his soft hair and his warm body lining up with yours. You’d have assumed this was a fever dream if not for the way his belt buckle presses against your stomach and the taste of Sprite on his tongue and dozens of other idiosyncrasies that you remind you of just how well and how deep and how long you’ve known him.
He pulls back for a moment, catching his breath and grinning at you. “I’m serious, though. About us. If New York is what you want, I could transfer to one of the theaters there.” With another lingering kiss, he promises you the world. “I love this job and these people and this city, but I don’t love anything more than I love you.”
You brush the hair off his forehead so you can look him dead in the eyes. “You’re not joking, are you? You’d move for me?” The thought makes your throat close with emotion.
Baekhyun nods. “Where you go, I go. Just say the word. You’re not getting rid of me that easy. Or if you want to quit Microsoft and the theater and take some time to figure out what’s next, that’s great too. I can support us easily with the manager's salary. Just tell me what you want, because all I want is you.”
And now you’re absolutely, definitely crying. And laughing, walking him backwards to the back wall of the theater until he’s pressed against it. “Byun Baekhyun, did you just ask me to move in with you?”
He grins, lifting his hands to hold your face. “I’m asking you to everything with me. We’ve waited long enough, I figure we’re overdue for some grand gestures. But I can wait until you're ready. I love you. As long as you’re mine, I’m in no hurry.”
Giddy, you throw your arms around him, hugging him close. “I love you, too. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I don’t care where we go or what I do, either. As long as we’re together.”
“I think we can manage that - uhh, baby.” He pulls back, mouth twisting in thought. “Sweetheart? Darling? I have to find a new nickname for you now that you’re mine.”
You snort, rolling your eyes. “Hitch is fine, Baek. Besides, no one says it like you do. I’ll always know what it means.”
Baekhyun grins, tugging you closer to kiss you once more. And at that moment the door jerks open, Jamie and Sunshine and Chanyeol stopping short when they realize what they’re seeing.
“It’s okay everyone, we found them!” Chanyeol calls out to the crowd behind him. “They were just making out. They’re fine.” His face splits into a broad grin, holding the door open further.
The rest of your friends and co-workers peek their heads around them, whooping and cheering. You bury your face in Baekhyun’s neck and laugh, vexed and delighted as always by the people you hold nearest and dearest. More than one person yells “FINALLY!” and many more say ‘about time’ and ‘oh my god.’
“Get out of here!” Baekhyun says with a laugh, motioning them out the door. “You’re interrupting a very important moment.”
They all trail out with calls of congratulations and alcohol-induced delight. Once the door finally closes with a muffled click, Baekhyun turns his face back to yours. “Now, where were we?”
You fist your hand in his hoodie and pull his lips back to yours, hovering a breath away. “Right about here.”
And in the early hours of Halloween morning, you and Baekhyun kiss until your lips are red and your hearts are full.
May 16th, 1998
“I told you, didn’t I?” Dolores looks particularly smug today as she pours coffee for you and Baekhyun.
The two of you volunteered to pick up the pastries and drinks for the baby shower brunch at the mall. But of course you had to have a quick drink and entertain more of Dolores’ bragging first. She had been particularly sassy and full of herself since you two admitted that she won the bet. When the two of you walked into Lost Lake diner the Saturday after Halloween holding hands, she knew.
“Yes, you did.” Baekhyun smiles over the rim of his coffee cup, hand squeezing your knee beneath the table. “As always Dolores, you are the picture of humbleness and modesty.”
“I also bet that Junmyeon’s fiance would be pregnant by the end of the year. I should really buy a lottery ticket for my incredible foresight.” She snorts, bustling off to gather the boxes of to-go waffles and scones and pancakes. “Just call me Dolorestradamus! God, I love being right.”
You shake your head in amusement. “She’ll never let up, will she?”
“Absolutely not,” Baekhyun agrees. He leans against the side of the booth, expression turning contemplative. “I can’t believe it’s the first mall baby. Aside from Sungmin, but he’s grandfathered in, practically part of the staff.”
“I know, right?” You mentally flip through your catalog of friends. “So many engagements this year, too.”
“So many!” Baekhyun grins. “My bet is that Jongin proposes by the end of the summer.”
“Oh, absolutely. At the very latest.” At the talk of proposals, you smile, tracing a finger over the surface of the table.
In the time you’ve been with Baekhyun since Halloween, you’ve moved in together. The new space, even closer to the mall for Baekhyun’s promotion, is perfect. It was so incredibly easy to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ to the New York job.
You couldn’t imagine leaving home (both the city and the person) and you’ve been enjoying splitting your time between the theater and freelance marketing work that’s been taking off faster than you’d planned.
“Jongin might not be the only one,” he whispers. Baekhyun’s hand moves to rest over yours, thumb brushing your ring finger gently.
Dolores of course chooses that moment to walk by, her hearing sharper than a bat’s. “You know, I’d bet the two of you get en -”
You and Baekhyun both groan, waving her off. “No more meddling!”
She sighs, shaking her head. “Fine, fine. Ruin my fun.”
With the promise of commitment and a future full of even more depth with Baekhyun in the air, you lean forward to kiss his cheek. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.”
“With you I’m always ready,” he says with a smirk. “Want to bet if Dolores faints or not?”
And then he pulls out a ring to propose to you, at the table everyone knows is yours for the last decade and for forever.
Dolores doesn’t faint. But she does yell loud enough to startle the entire diner. And that is satisfaction enough for the both of you.
CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (CLICK ON AO3 LINK FOR ALL TAGS & TRIGGERS)
Summary: It’s Baekhyun who goes down to his knees first, peppering kisses along Jongdae’s neck to his chest and stomach, pulling his pants down slowly but deliberately, fingers wrapped around the waistband sending shocks that shiver across Jongdae’s body. There’s a pause as Baekhyun and Jongdae acknowledge the moment of evolution in their relationship, one they can never take back, one they had to sacrifice by force. A silent avowal that their actions and this moment forward are a choice, both willingly submitting their bodies to the other.
“It’s settled. Chanyeol will have his time with our little puppy here and the kitten will watch until I feel like he’s had enough. What do you think Kyungsoo?”
Like a second in command, Kyungsoo nods.
“Very well then. But first, the meat has to marinate. Does puppy or kitten know what I mean by that?” Junmyeon waits. Smiles. He loves when the game really gets started, when he gets to give choices to his captives. And he loves it more when they fail miserably. “If you get the answer right, I’ll let ONE of you have a 15-minute head start running away from this place. No one will chase you.”
Chanyeol beams. He loves this game too. Loves the stakes introduced and the suffering that results. The pure adrenaline rush to chase down his captives. It was his idea to give them a 15-minute head start. He had told Daddy it would give the captives an illusion of escape only for Chanyeol and Kai to catch up. There was nothing like seeing the look on their faces when they think their escape or rescue is close. Running up behind them, tired as they always were, and placing his hands over their mouth as they struggle. Carrying them back to the house. Or, if the person is a little more of a challenge, Chanyeol would bring a rag soaked in chloroform as a backup. And sometimes, if they had been especially naughty, he'd run out with an ax or chainsaw and cut them to little pieces, covering himself and the trees with blood. Daddy had told him "It's a waste of fresh meat." so he tried not to do it often or only do it when Daddy gave him the look.
On occasion, Kyungsoo, Kai, and Daddy would give them longer than the usual 15 minutes, only to use the car and act like a rescue, slowing down cautiously as their victims run, waving their arms frantically as to flag down their savior - only to discover who it is behind the wheel. The look on their face is priceless. Sometimes they try to run back and that's when Chanyeol gets them, waiting in the shadows. It's a rush and he loves it.
“If you guess, and you do have to guess, but answer wrong then we get to choose something special from Daddy’s game jar - and THAT can get a little bloody.” He laughs full-body, hitting Kai, and doubling over. It’s hilarious to him and Jongdae wishes he could slap that smile off Chanyeol’s face because it is anything but funny. It’s sick and twisted, grotesque, and Jongdae wishes that they’d all suffer in hell because who knows what they have done to those who came before. They deserve to pay for all the suffering they’ve caused.
“It means you want us to play lightly, before diving into whatever sick and twisted game you have planned for us.” The disgust is evident in his voice. Kyungsoo’s mouth twitches at that. He loves that Jongdae is getting worked up so easily, loves that Jongdae finds them disgusting. It’s easier to pull out that rage than it is to give confidence. Chanyeol loves building people up and tearing them down. Kyungsoo wants only to pull on the thread and unravel whatever sinister machinations a person naturally holds, some more than others. Jongdae more than Baekhyun.
“Elaborate.” Kyungsoo’s smile is lifted only slightly. He can’t fully hide his excitement or his anticipation - when this little kitten will be whimpering and mewling under his heel, tears streaming down his face because he isn’t one to submit.
Junmyeon, on the other hand, sighs, stepping forward, and slaps Jongdae clear across the face. “I. Don’t. Like. Boring. Guests.”
Jongdae’s lips tighten. He breathes in slowly. Out slowly. And Kyungsoo can see it building, closer and closer to the precipice. Jump, he thinks. Jump now. Indulge and light yourself on fire.
But as much as that fire is raging inside Jongdae, he swallows it and gives the only answer that, he thinks, would not only satisfy this sadistic “Daddy” but serve as some type of barrier, a way to protect Baekhyun and himself. “You want me and Baekhyun hyung to play with each other, strip for you, and leave marks on each other. Right… Daddy?” The bile threatens to come up but he smiles, his eyes lighting up, the smile not quite reaching them, but it’s such a brilliant smile with wonderfully curled lips that Daddy pays no mind and grins at his kitten finally playing their game. Junmyeon himself was waiting to see if the kitten would come up with a creative answer and he did. A little tug and pull for the reluctant ones always work.
“Baekhyunie puppy. Come here.” He motions to Baekhyun who is sitting on Chanyeol’s lap, eyes wide and teary, bouncing reluctantly by the waist as Chanyeol stimulates himself with the smaller body. “Kitten, stand up.” He reaches out to touch Jongdae’s lips, making a mental note to lick and suck on them later. “Face each other. Make it interesting. This is the only direction you get. And no, you don't get a 15-minute head start because you pissed me off kitten. Now play.”
“And remember” Chanyeol chimes up, hand rubbing against his pants to stimulate the area Baekhyun no longer occupied. “Daddy doesn’t like boring guests.” He smiles and Jongdae thinks how handsome he looks, a boyish charm coupled with masculine features and a dimple peaking out against tanned skin. The charm would catch anyone off guard and he wonders if that's part of the reason Daddy chose him. It further serves to piss him off but he shakes his head and turns his attention to Baekhyun.
He reaches out, holding onto Baekhyun's hands, the warmth of his hands spreading to Baekhyun's own, and musters up a smile. “It’s okay Baek. We can do this. It’s you and me. Always. What can’t we do if we’re together?” Baekhyun nods, allowing Jongdae’s efforts to reassure him. “Just follow my lead hyung and kiss my forehead or hand to signal if you’re uncomfortable, okay? No matter what happens, I love you.”
Baekhyun smiles, tired but genuine. “I love you too Jongdae. It’s us, right? Together?”
Jongdae nods an affirmation before grabbing Baekhyun’s neck, bringing their lips together in a silent crash that has Baekhyun’s eyes widening as Jongdae parts the older’s mouth, tasting him without reserve. “You taste sweet Baekhyunie. Your taste fits your personality.” He kisses down Baekhyun’s mouth to his chin and slender neck, biting along the way gently as he lifts up the older’s shirt revealing soft skin, smooth and unblemished. Skin that he’s sure the others are making mental notes to twist, pull, bite, and mark. Skin they’ll want to make their own or at least leave an imprint that they’ve touched. But for now, this skin is Baekhyun’s and his own. Baekhyun too reaches out, unbuttoning Jongdae’s shirt, breath hitching at the intimacy of a moment he’d never imagine sharing with his best friend. Jongdae’s skin is smooth and unblemished like Baekhyun’s, both boys having small beauty marks that decorate their canvas. They take the liberty to kiss each other's freckled orchestration, careful and loving. Attentive. Gentle. Doting kisses along arms, hands, necks, anywhere skin and vulnerability grant a touch.
It’s Baekhyun who goes down to his knees first, peppering kisses along Jongdae’s neck to his chest and stomach, pulling his pants down slowly but deliberately, fingers wrapped around the waistband sending shocks that shiver across Jongdae’s body. There’s a pause as Baekhyun and Jongdae acknowledge the moment of evolution in their relationship, one they can never take back, one they had to sacrifice by force. A silent avowal that their actions and this moment forward are a choice, both willingly submitting their bodies to the other. They take off Jongdae’s boxers together, hands clasping each other as Baekhyun wraps his lips around Jongdae’s length. Slowly. Deliberately. He moves Jongdae’s hands to his head, signaling for the contact that he knows Jongdae is craving. And Jongdae takes it. His fingers fasten their grip in Baekhyun’s hair as Baekhyun’s fingers tighten their grip on Jongdae’s thighs, stopping only momentarily to look up and tell Jongdae “You taste sweet Jongdae... like your personality.” They share a smile, their first one with some of the heaviness of the night removed. Jongdae moves Baekhyun’s head forward, gently, as Baekhyun bobs in and out, his tongue now licking strips up Jongdae’s length. Playful. Teasing. Alternating between teasing the tip and taking Jongdae in fully, both forgetting they’re entertainment; the focus being only each other. And so they continue. Jongdae’s hands in Baekhyun’s hair, never being too forceful with him. And Baekhyun licking, sucking, teasing Jongdae. They take their time with each other, savoring perhaps the only peaceful moment they'll have the entire night.
Once Baekhyun can tell Jongdae’s close, he takes him in as much as possible, as deep as possible, allowing Jongdae to control the speed of his own pleasure. He cums with Baekhyun on his knees, hands clasped to Jongdae’s thighs, his own hands gripping Baekhyun’s hair as he cums hard down the older's throat. He thinks it’s beautiful how Baekhyun takes everything he has to offer him, swallows affectionately, and rests his head on Jongdae’s thighs. He runs his hands through Baekhyun’s hair and bends down to kiss him gently, resting their heads together and waiting for the moment they both know is coming.
It doesn't come quickly. Instead, Junmyeon lets them rest together. They’ve earned it. Their moment was like nothing he’d ever seen. It wasn't just a show to appease him, he figures. No, there is something between these boys even if they don't realize it themselves. They’re special. One of a kind. And they're his. After what he just witnessed, there wasn’t a chance he would ever let them go.
A/N: So I wrote a D.O. fic, first time posting on Tumblr because I don't totally hate this story. I apologize for it being so long, I don't know how to use the 'keep reading' option on my phone. Also, all of this is clearly fictional.
Genre: Angst. Hanahaki disease
Warnings: Major character death. Sehun says some bad words.
“Sure thing, I’ll let her know you called,” Sehun promised, unaware that you had just come through the apartment door. You quietly set up Vivi’s leash so as to not disturb Sehun’s phone call. You had a rough idea what the phone call was about, but you really wanted to sneak past and into your room.
All you wanted lately was to be alone. You weren't yourself and you knew that, this was something you had to deal with yourself. No meddling roommate and best friend would be able to help.
“Don’t you dare try to run away.” Sehun could be intimidating when the time called for it. As much as you wanted to be alone, you couldn't take Sehun's consistent pestering.
"I just got off the phone with Kyungsoo, what the hell is going on with you two?"
There was only so much you were willing to share with Sehun. You and Kyungsoo had recently started growing apart; you weren't seeing each other as much, the phone calls and text messages had started to die down. The intimacy had become next to nothing once you started to get sick. In Sehun's eyes you were pushing Kyungsoo away without a valid reason and he was only trying to help.
Kyungsoo was amazing; he was extremely intelligent, hard working and hilarious. He was also an amazing cook, and as someone who lacked the basic ability to cook even the simplest dishes, it was something that you looked for in a partner, it was non negotiable. Kyungsoo was your number one fan; he was always there to support your dreams, he was there to pick up the pieces when you failed your law class exam and encouraged you to try again. Kyungsoo felt less like a boyfriend and more like a partner, someone you were meant to conquer life with. You couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him. There was no doubt in your mind that Kyungsoo would be an amazing husband and father when the time came….if it came.
Sehun really tried to compose himself, he really cared for you and the friendship you two had together. The friendship he had with Kyungsoo also meant the world to him.
"Okay, listen. I don't know what's going on with you because you never speak to me anymore. Or even the man you always claim is your soulmate for that matter. But it needs to stop. If you took ten fucking minutes out of your day to even speak to Kyungsoo you would realize he is also sick!"
"I cant-" "-I can't see him." Your heart began to race, you could feel it pulsate in your chest. Your throat had begun to feel hoarse, there was a lingering taste of copper on your tongue. You were going to be sick and Sehun would be there to witness it.
"You're being extremely selfish and entitled. You can't just push people away."
You took off before Sehun could say anymore. Although there wasn't much more he could say. Deep down you knew he was right, which had only made the pain worse. You claimed to love Kyungsoo, you would swear on your life. Any sane person would fall in love with him in a heartbeat and it made you sick to know that maybe you weren't the one to love him. But you wanted to. You loved him, past, present and future. You would do it a thousand times over.
Jongdae held Kyungsoo as he cried for you and your relationship. Kyungsoo missed you and wanted nothing more than to be with you and hold you. He knew though, he knew when he became sick and his throat would become irritated with the thorns that decorated your birth flower that you weren't his. He wouldn't be able to hold you, kiss you, carry on with the life plans like you two had decided on. You were no longer his to love. It was slowly killing him to know you were in love with someone else. He wanted nothing more than to see you one last time before he couldn't see you any longer.
"Kyungsoo, I'll take you to her. She might change her mind. Maybe once she sees you in person she'll listen to you-" Jongdae cleared his throat, unsure if he even wanted to finish that sentence. "Before it's too late."
Kyungsoo didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't feel like he had the strength to carry himself to get to you, to form the words. There was so much he wanted to say to you. There was so much the two of you wanted to do. There wasn't enough time to accomplish those things, there wasn't enough time to say goodbye.
It felt insignificant but Kyungsoo grabbed some lozenges on the way out. At this point he wasn't sure if it was to ease the pain from the coughing and the scratching from the thorns of the flowers or if it was to ease his throat to be able to form coherent sentences.
Sehun was ready to admit defeat with you, he couldn't help you if you weren't going to help yourself. He was aware that Jongdae was on his way with Kyungsoo and busied himself with the task of making tea. He knew he had been too hard on you, and a warm cup of tea had always been an offer of peace in your shared apartment.
The knock on the apartment door seemed to ease Sehun's mind. There was finally someone else to talk some sense into you. Sehun gladly let his two friends into the apartment, there wasn't time to exchange pleasantries, Kyungsoo took off to find you.
Sehun grabbed Jongdae's arm to hold him from going further. You and Kyungsoo really didn't need someone else getting involved. Whatever was going on you two had to work out amongst yourselves.
"Jongdae, do you have any idea what's going on? I haven't been able to get a proper sentence out of her for days."
"I assume you know about the flower disease?" Sehun nodded in confirmation. The current moment didn't seem like the time to interrupt, but he knew he would have so many questions later. "Well you see, you cough up your soulmate's birth flower. Which is exactly what Kyungsoo has been doing. He has been coughing up her birth flower….but he's not getting better. He's actually getting sicker. More petals, I've seen him cough up whole flowers. He's in so much pain, Sehun. He's coughing up so much blood. I'm scared."
"Do you think?" Sehun couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. The silence that swept over the two men was plenty of confirmation.
Kyungsoo was greeted with the sight of you embracing the toilet. You were running hot and the ceramic was helping to cool you down.
"Kyungsoo-" "I'm so sorry."
Kyungsoo dove to grab you up off the floor. He held you in his arms all the while you sobbed and soaked his chest with tears. Tears that were filled with love, sorrow, heartbreak and gratitude.
"Kyungsoo, I love you. I swear. I don't know why this is happening."
"Shhh. Just let me hold you."
Being held in Kyungsoo's arms has always been your favourite place to be. He was warm and comforting. Kyungsoo would gently hum your newest favourite song while you laid on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Kyungsoo would intertwine your hands as he rubbed your back with his free one while you started to list all the things you loved about him just so you could hear his heart race.
"I've been coughing up your birth flower. It really hurts."
"I'm so sorry. I should have told you why I was sick. I didn't think you would get sick. I thought I would just handle things by myself and you would stay healthy."
Kyungsoo gently placed his hands on either side of your face. As much as you didn't want this to end you knew you had to say goodbye. The love you and Kyungsoo shared was no more. His lips against yours were the most gentle they had ever been, like one wrong move and it was over.
"Knowing you're in love with someone else almost hurts more than my throat bleeding or having to actually cough up these flowers. I'm glad you're my soulmate. I don't think I could have loved a better person. I know you love me, but you're no longer in love with me. I wish you told me how you felt."
The look in Kyungsoo's eyes was enough to make you fall in love with him all over again. He wiped the tears from your eyes like he had a thousand times before with no care of your makeup staining his white sleeve. "Your happiness is more important than a silly shirt. I don't want to see you cry" He had told you the first time.
"Do Kyungsoo. Thank you for everything. I wish I could have loved you more, I wish I could have loved you longer. I want nothing more than for you to find someone who loves you more than you think is possible. You're the one person that deserves it. I would give you the world if you asked for it. I love you Kyungsoo. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."
Kyungsoo held you close as he felt your body give away. Almost as if your soul physically left your body. He lowered you both to the ground where he noticed the full flowers of Aster littering the bathroom floor.