#friend sustenance Tumblr posts

  • assassins-and-hidden-blades
    22.04.2022 - 1 mont ago

    Head empty, just thinking about hanging off of Connor's arm 🥰

    Deadass, I'd be dangling off his arm and he probably won't react as much. Maybe a grunt to get me off the ground but that's it

    That is allllllll

    (And drink water! And eat!)

    You see, I always imagine I’m tall, but I’m always looking up at other people 😂

    What annoys me tho is that there’s this one person who loves teasing me about how old I am (she’s a few months younger than me) and how short I am (she’s an INCH taller than me) and I’m like “bro?”

    This gives me Bucky Barnes at the end of TFATW vibes with those lil’ kids 💀

    Man, just using that guy as a jungle gym would be no problem AT ALL

    What a pleasant thought 😊 LOVE U

    (You too!! And try and get enough sleep! <3)

    #that goes for all of y’all #I’m the mum friend and I now command you to provide yourself sustenance #ask#alleycatbookstore
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  • lizalfosrise
    16.04.2022 - 1 mont ago

    Tbh it’s been in the back of my mind upon seeing mr balding here for some time but ahahahaha. I also haven’t seen anything about anyone doing tic tac toe on his 5head yet either.

    #i am a Devil with internet brainrot but it’s sustenance #tic tac toe 5head #the Arknights version is so good it just stuck with me #and it’s satisfying having that reaction from friends ehehehe :3c #rise’s shenanigans
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  • markets
    24.02.2022 - 3 monts ago

    if i dont go to a party soon SSomething bad might happen it starts with land and ends with mine.

    #angiemarkets.txt #im called capybaraparty for a reason i need it for sustenance #doesnt even have to be a real party but i think too many of my friends are busy this wknd to do nething T___T
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  • combeauferre
    18.02.2022 - 3 monts ago

    is going to 7eleven at 1am valid or will i get beat up in the parking lot

    #asking for a friend #considering pulling an all nighter to write my fucking poem but i need sustenance #ollie has a life
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  • musette22
    03.02.2022 - 3 monts ago

    Wowwww ok can life just slow down for one second please??? Oh my god, what a fucking day, honestly 🤣 I don’t even know what’s happening anymore lmao, I’m gonna quickly make some food and then I’ll be back to scream about some stuff I’ve apparently missed today including THE STACHE 😭🔥

    #so I got to work only to be told the coworker I worked with yesterday in an enclosed office has covid #she was coughing on me the whole time but she said she'd taken multiple tests and they were negative and it was just a cold #it was not #so now I have to get tested and decide whether or not it's worth the risk to attend my dad's 70th birthday party this weekend #oh and I was going to meet up with friends but one of their husbands has covid too #also this big work thing I prepared was called off because of all this so I got up at arse a clock this morning for nothing #and then I mess up a big job at the end of the day BECAUSE OF CHRIS'S GODDAMMUSTACHE APPEARING OUT OF GODDAMN NOWHERE #I CAN'T #I need sustenance first #maybe then I can again #excuse the rant #brb#minnie talks
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  • albatris
    26.01.2022 - 3 monts ago

    Hey, it might be Sunday where you are now, but for Storyteller Saturday, I was curious: How did Quinn get mixed up with vampires, and what exactly was their (original) goal with Nat?

    hello!! I believe you did send this on Sunday buuuut it's Thursday now so as you can see time means nothing to me and I always answer things late anyway, so this is fine :D thank you for the question!!

    hmmmmm, this is a deceptively simple question with maybe potentially a more lengthy and grim answer than you were expecting so uhhhhh. sorry about that.

    fair warning, this is going to be an absolute doozy of a ramble, it's a loaded question and I had lots to say, I am truly so sorry for springing this unexpected behemoth of a post on you, if you are unfamiliar with my.... inability to be concise.... and the fact that I just..... like rambling

    oh, also, The Quinn Situation is one a few people have been curious about before, so I will also loop @chaotic-queer-disaster into this answer since he asked about Quinn a while back!

    anyway, to answer this, I am going to hop back in time to give you a little bit of Quinn backstory, since it all kind of ramps up to the vampire situation, and because I haven't talked about Quinn's backstory much on this blog at all

    it's uhhhh. hm. tw for murder, abuse, manipulation, mentions of suicidal ideation, toxic coping mechanisms, other stuff I might add after I've finished typing

    also Backstory Quinn is not a good person. Present Story Quinn is also not a good person, particularly, but to a much much MUCH milder degree. and they continually improve during the story. this post is just A Lot when I lay out all out

    ----

    long story short (it says, knowing this will not be short at all), life routinely beat the shit out of Young Quinn. everyone around them were dicks, they were shown very little love and tenderness, they were manipulated and abused, n basically every avenue of protection and kindness and support that should have been available to them failed them spectacularly in some form or another

    they learn pretty quick that being sweet and kind and gentle gets you jack shit in life, that no one is on their side, that the only people who seem to get what they want in the world are those who are ruthless and unfeeling and cruel

    and for their own continued survival, both physically and mentally, they do their best to lock down any part of themself that could be viewed as weak or vulnerable and close themself off from gentle emotions and compassion. they learn from observing the people around them, learning how to mirror them, how to lie, how to manipulate, how to survive. how to put on a show and a smile and charm people into not noticing they're being taken advantage of

    it takes some practice, of which their school peers and later their teachers are subjected to often. Young Quinn does not grow up into a particularly well-adjusted young adult. they're lonely and hurt but so out-of-touch with their emotions they don't realise it, they're a passively-suicidal thrillseeker constantly chasing bigger highs, and the only way they ever feel safe in their interpersonal relations is if they're in complete control and have the other party wrapped round their finger

    I go back and forth on whether Quinn eventually plays a hand in the deaths of their parents, 'cause that's dark, or whether they just dip one day and never go home. if they do play a part, it's 'cause they get caught up in some freak situation and end up bargaining for their own life by offering up their parents'. it is what it is. their parents were awful monstrous people and in an it's-you-or-them situation "murder your abusers" is a way out for someone who otherwise doesn't have one. no sympathy for Quinn's parents tbh, even though it was absolutely still awful for Quinn to deal with

    they ditch their old life and make their way in the world the only way they know how: by charming and manipulating and blackmailing the fuck out of people. criminals! businessmen! shopkeepers! influential social circles! they stalk and scope people out, put on whatever personality and face will work best, weasel their way into important crowds while lying through their teeth....... they establish themself as someone trustworthy and hardworking and useful to whoever their target of the week or month or year is, working whoever they want to get whatever strikes their fancy - money, resources, influence, a new identity, protection, a nice place to live, a nicer place to live. sometimes cleanly, sometimes through fraud, sometimes through blackmail and arm-twisting and threats

    they drop in, play their little mindgames, then dip as soon as there's nothing left to gain

    Quinn pisses off a fuckload of people who would very much like to see them dead! they did not particularly foresee this being a pressing issue tbh because they were, and I quote, "just dicking around and having harmless fun". but still, they're a slippery charming bastard with lots of resources and a few identities up their sleeve. they also get insanely fucking lucky. though they manage to Not get arrested or murdered or worse, it does occur to them now that they are NOT yet immortal and untouchable, and they sure are hurtling headfirst into Something Not Great

    eventually someone in some shady circle Quinn barely remembers sends what is essentially their resident vampire attack dog to finally take them out. Quinn is Quinn about this, and manages through charm and hubris to buy enough time to speedrun their usual routine - resulting in a high-stakes largely-stab-in-the-dark attempt to narrow down what kind of person this is, what they need, how to get inside their head, and how to strike a bargain so Quinn can get what they want (to not fucking die, in this case)

    it works, somehow. Quinn offers to double whatever this guy was originally paid if he turns on the people who sent him, as well as offering any other resources he needs with ~no strings attached~ (Quinn has a lot by this point). with the added bonus of Quinn's helpful human skills, such as going out in the sun and not having their mind read by a hivemind, and easily luring in unsuspecting human prey. most importantly, an equal partnership! not to be treated like a convenient inhuman weapon!

    Quinn uses this partnership to learn the basic ins and outs of vampirism, such as: what traits are common, what fears are common, what the natural instincts are and how they work, what their weaknesses are, and, importantly, how one might go about Finding Others

    they're both on rather unequal footing though, which Quinn is uncomfortable with. they're back living in survival mode and the level of control they have is minimal. once they've squeezed enough intel they can out of this guy and are also mildly concerned he's planning to kill them soon, they tip vampire hunters off about his location and move onto their next target

    the process repeats! Quinn learns more, gets better at pulling the right strings, gets better at tipping control in their favour. this is Quinn's Manipulating Vampires Practice Run era. it's a fun change of pace! a delightful new challenge! it doesn't always end in untimely death for their vampire counterparts, and Quinn ensures the partnerships end on friendly terms as often as possible (as soon as they've gotten all they can out of them)

    two patterns emerge!

    the first is that new vampires tend to be infinitely easier to exploit and manipulate than ones who've been round for a while, provided you can deal with their instability. they're scared, confused, alone, clinging to their humanity, and usually desperate to latch onto the first person who can offer answers and guidance and safety

    the second, unsurprisingly, is that very few of the humans Quinn's pissed off seem keen to try their luck murdering them when they have vampire companions

    so Quinn moves to Darwelaide (a real place in Australia that definitely isn't a bizarre parallel-reality mishmash of Darwin and Adelaide that I just made up because worldbuilding is my burden) and starts the next phase of this stupid little plan they've been quietly concocting

    they target new, about-to-turn, or otherwise vulnerable vamps, they put on a kind face, offer whatever help and resources are needed, including usually hard-to-come-by guilt-free dining experiences in the form of dodgy terrible humans (Quinn knows many), and in general act as a friendly, knowledgeable, guiding presence in this frightening new existence :)

    things escalate from there, Quinn usually forcing their new friends into some ongoing reliance on them, then gradually amping up their manipulation tactics the more they learn, then asking more and more of their associates as time goes on. Quinn is, by now, an expert particularly at making it seem like what they're doing is benevolent and selfless and that the other party is the one in control, while Quinn is the one pulling the strings and getting what they want

    like, of course they'll protect Quinn :) of course they'll do favours and run the occasional errand :) if Quinn tells them someone is a threat of course they'll deal with that :) Quinn is good and kind :) plus, they have a sweet deal here :) why would they want to leave, anyway :) Quinn gives them everything they want, it's not like they'd last long out there on their own :)

    Quinn Is A Bad Person.

    Quinn's system was originally something they were playing around with because they wanted a handful of hyperviolent bodyguards at their beck and call :P as soon as the various people that want Quinn dead catch wind of the fact that Quinn now does, in fact, have a considerable bunch of vampire friends who will not hesitate to murder anyone who touches Quinn, they begrudgingly back off. which is great! but also kind of boring, now that Quinn thinks about it

    but the power trip they're on is really fun, and Quinn is bored and stircrazy and likes having people around to run stupid errands for them, so things just kind of. continue. expanding

    eventually they're like, you know what, I'm going to start a Thing

    so they start a thing. which mostly involves people coming to them with Requests (usually unconventional ones, often kind of shady ones) and Quinn just kind of. being the convenient "safe" human middleman for dealings with the local vampires. people are like "hey I need protection" or "hey I want someone killed" or "hey I need to break into such and such and it requires a Special Skill Set" or, later, "hey can your weirdly competent fucking vampire lawyer friend help me with this stupid lawsuit". n Quinn will be like. cool. easy. in exchange I would like, uh

    whatever it is that they're in the market for and that person can provide. extensions to their house! free subscriptions to streaming services! personalised stained glass windows! an inside man! a Favour Later Down The Line :)! for you to come work for them for a while! n quite commonly, money, ongoing blood donations or other resources to keep their friends happy

    with a healthy dose of their old blackmail and bribery and fraudulent behaviour on the side, Quinn does pretty well for themself. they end up with quite an extensive system of both vampires and humans they're vaguely in charge of with all sorts of different skills, n they're also kind of the go-to name for getting all kinds of odd and sometimes shifty requests done

    whenever people step out of line or break agreements or whatever else, Quinn is quick to show their true colours. so although Quinn is generally regarded as friendly and charming and helpful, rumours spread quick and a lot of people are rightly terrified of them

    n yeah, some people are involved with Quinn because they want to be, lots are manipulated into it, some are blackmailed or threatened into it. and whenever a vampire twigs "oh, wait, this guy is full of shit, this guy has been using me the whole time, what the fuck, hey, I should kill this guy" they're immediately like "wait no" because Quinn's reach is so fucking extensive by this point that as soon as anyone makes a move against them that person will be torn to pieces by all the other people who are still absolutely fawning over them and would do anything for them

    so Quinn ends up kind of untouchable and it is VERY fun for them. Quinn thinks they're fucking immortal lmao

    (Quinn, of course, doesn't get to stay untouchable over the course of the story 'cause that's no fun. they've gotta get knocked down a few pegs and do some character development)

    like, I cannot emphasise enough, Quinn has no particular end goal anymore. Quinn started out just wanting protection, and they more than achieved that, but went on a power trip anyway because why wouldn't they. Quinn just enjoys being in control and pulling the strings. Quinn also enjoys free stuff. and vampires picking up their dry cleaning

    they do eventually, miraculously, somehow, manage to find an actual genuine friendship in Alex (aforementioned vampire lawyer), and their emotional health takes a sharp turn........ uh, no, probably a pretty gradual turn for the better across several years. they get a bit softer and nicer and a bit less terrified and mean all the time. their other relationships calm down somewhat too, although their batshit morals and willingness to be a bastard in general do not

    but for the most part, Present Day Quinn is much more pleasant to deal with. quite a few of their associates would genuinely consider them a friend and equal, and though the feeling is rarely mutual, Quinn does think fondly of them, and tends to lean away from their more, uh, aggressive forms of keeping people in line when they can avoid it

    like, absolutely they're still Quinn and still have no qualms with doing whatever horrible bullshit they need to if the situation calls for it, but they have since realised the situation calls for it rather a lot less than they previously assumed

    as for Quinn's initial plans for Nat, uhhhhh

    well, none of them involved being bullied into treating him as an equal partner in business, falling in love with him, letting him help them feel safe enough to be a gentle person again, and jointly destroying a giant vampire hivemind, for starters

    simply put, Nat was originally intended to be a convenient replacement for another vampire associate of Quinn's who met an untimely demise

    so Quinn's out an ally (henchman, lackey, bodyguard, errand-runner, attack dog, pick your poison) and is snooping around looking for a new one, right about when Nat gets tangled up in his whole situation. Nat is Obviously Going To Turn Soon (it takes a while for the body to kick over and complete the process) n Quinn is like "sweet, a new pathetic confused vulnerable stray, my favourite" and jump to nab him as an ally real quick

    so yeah, Quinn's initial plan for Nat is the same as their plan for any new vampire they wanna cosy up to. it involves them and beloved best friend Alex stalking the fuck out of Nat before he turns so they can find out what he's like as a person, what his social circles are, what he wants and needs, what he's afraid of, what his values are - basically anything they can use to puzzle out how to best approach him and get him to trust them

    all the while watching Nat get progressively more stressed about the Mysterious Sudden Illness he seems to be coming down with :) then Quinn just schedules in an appropriate Breaking Point sometime before Nat will inevitably turn on his own, and bullies one of their human acquaintances who backstabbed them a few weeks back into staging a robbery at Nat's work. which the human acquaintance does Not know is for the sole purpose of freaking him out, tipping him over the edge and making him snap

    then Quinn can just sweep into the grisly murder scene's aftermath while Nat is panicking and crying and in denial, and play the charming saviour as they usually do :)

    just be all like, yeah, I've been watching you for a while now, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but there's no need to be freaked out, we're here to help <3 me and my friend will explain everything, and we can help you with finding suitable food so you don't have to do This again, and we can help you get back on your feet in whatever ways you need <3 also don't worry about this murder we can clean this up no worries <3 I know you're scared but we'll work all this out I promise <3

    n Nat is horrified and stressed and desperate for comfort and answers so even though he thinks Quinn is kind of suspicious he's like "yeah what choice do I have"

    Quinn's manipulating of Nat doesn't last particularly long, the power dynamic between them balances out pretty quick. they both end up equal sources of threat and equal sources of safety to each other and Quinn is like "oh this is new and thrilling" and the whole vibe flips on its head somewhat

    laying the foundation for an actual equal mutually beneficial partnership, albeit a strained one at first

    later on, after Nat's actual role in the Garble power struggle comes to light, Quinn's goal shifts again bc, hey, complete control of the Garble means basically Complete Control Of Everything which is. a delicious concept

    this also doesn't last too long because Quinn realises this is Not an appropriate end goal if they want Nat to be safe and happy, which they do by this point, n they aren't particularly interested in Using Nat because he's their friend and they love him!! but they keep insisting this is their goal right until the final confrontation and everyone is kind of just like "uh-huh, yeah, sure"

    while Quinn is just like >:c no, I'm evil, I'm evil, I swear

    so that's. that's. all of it. I think. whew

    if you read this far. thanks for listening. have an excellent day. you're the best

    #a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears #also its debatable whether the prey quinn ropes in for vampire friends is exclusively terrible people #I think it varies depending on what's available lmao #and how lazy quinn is feeling #n tbf some vampires AREN'T picky. and also quinn generally doesn't provide this for all of them #but yeah new vamps quinn's just roped in they tend to be very upset about the idea of hurting innocent people for sustenance so #sometimes quinn yoinks some shady people and other times quinn is just like ''yeah this guy is totally a murderer trust me it's fine'' #or anyone that's annoyed them #or backstabbed them #quinn is also not particularly picky #n blood isnt the only resource quinn has available quinn can find a way to do most things some way or another. within reason #like for nat luring him in with promises of guilt free meals was a good start but like #he's broke n he loves cooking fancy dishes. just toss him a hundred dollar note every week and tell him to go wild at the supermarket #and also he can use ur kitchen which is much nicer than the one in his apartment :) #n just consistently make sure he's got enough money to get by n you'll be fine! #additionally! he's lonely! give him a rescue cat to snuggle with bc he loves animals. then when he's comfy being around humans again #absorb him into your social circles. easy done #nat is an easy catch tbh. he wants to feel needed and appreciated :) he wants to be Friends :) and he wants to cook. this is all #also yeah alex is the one who pinpoints that nat is lonely initially bc while it and quinn are staking out watching him alex is like #''quinn he had like ten errands to run today but he blew them all off to sit staring at his front door because he thought his #neighbours might be getting furniture delivered and they might ask him to come help lift it and put it together he is #obviously unbelievably lonely and desperate for connection'' #n quinn is just like ''lmao alex no don't come at me with that cheesy bullshit'' bc quinn uhh #forgets! that loneliness is a thing. despite being wildly lonely themself. quinn has shut that emotion Right Down thanks very much #yeah i talk fondly about quinn in the story being bastard (affectionate) but like. oh there are absolutely quinns out there that have been #bastard (derogatory) #they had. no opportunity to learn how to be a person. there were so many failures of love on so many occasions #quinn was just a kid #but anyway yeah present day story quinn is a bastard and also dramatic villain vibes #but writing all this backstory and their motives down in one hit I'm just kinda :)))) yikes
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  • gogogy
    15.01.2022 - 4 monts ago

    my mutuals aur saur fruity ^_^ i put them in blender & drink up 🥭💦

    #this was meant in a blends you (affectionate) but then i realized i cd call u gay too ^_^ #slurp#mm#friend sustenance #< (didnt say juice be proud of me) #gggy talks#shush elena
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  • mintjeru
    25.11.2021 - 5 monts ago
    love has a right to be spoken. and you have a right to know that somebody loves you. that somebody has loved you, could love you... maybe it’s what we need most.
    - a fisherman of the inland sea, ursula k. leguin

    open for better quality || no reposts || ko-fi

    #childe#tartaglia#diluc#chiluc#genshin impact#genshin#fanart#myart#doodle #playing around with lighting here #i actually don't know how to feel about it #ok funny story so one of my friends pointed out i've never drawn chilucs kissing #and this week i was like ok! this is gonna be The Drawing! #and then. it turned out like this #which is so funny to me #the perspective turned out ok though imo #of course i didn't forget chiluc thurs here you go #this week's sustenance hehe
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  • astronomy-two-worlds-apart
    28.09.2021 - 7 monts ago

    also i became a mother today apparently that was a fun experience

    #quill.txt #they’re just my friends who kept calling me mother bc i bought them sustenance at the store
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  • cultivatxr
    14.09.2021 - 8 monts ago

    One of, if not the most, important holidays in Cetran culture is the harvest festival. It’s the time of year when all of Aerith’s hard work pays off and she can embrace the bounty that the planet provides. As a gardener it will always hold a soft spot for her, but as an ancient it’s hugely spiritual too. There’s a sense of unity that accompanies it, along with a reminder of the seasonal lifecycle and, as with countless other traditions, it becomes a time of family and friends. An opportunity to share what she has and be grateful for it. 

    Admittedly, some of her personal traditions are a little more eyebrow raising; there’s singing and dancing ( although the rumours of her naked twirl around a bonfire are purely urban myth ) - and she does tend to indulge in a certain degree of ceremony before picking her fruits and vegetables, akin to a sort of symbolic funeral rite, but the underlying core principle of her Autumnal celebration tends to hinge upon giving others the things she’s grown. Particularly her friends and neighbours below the plate, as good food remains somewhat of a commodity. As the intent behind such a gift is always pure, the vast majority of people tend to ignore the more eclectic traits that accompany it’s inception. 

    But for that reason, all throughout September and well into October - Aerith makes it her mission to surprise people with little boxes full of homegrown goodies. It’s generally very vegetable heavy with a few fruity treats thrown in too, but in the case of the vegetable averse ( yeah Noctis, I’m looking at you. ) there’s a lot more pastry based offerings, often with stealthily included produce and a decidedly sweeter leaning palate altogether. 

    #; fledgling shoots striving to grow || - (HEADCANON) #tldr; she's like a happy little veggie fairy. #delivering gifts of the edible variety all throughout the Autumn season. #As a way of showing due reverence to the planet for providing sustenance and to thank her friends for their own form of spiritual food. #I know a lot of people don't like to get too deep into Cetran theology #But I like to think there's a hugely poignant and significant attachment to the planet's role in sustaining life. #And natural produce is just one way of expressing that.
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  • katscratching
    27.08.2021 - 8 monts ago

    ఉరుము | urumu

    The magic is in the editing but nothing need be purged yet from this hour: much more from the before, from what it took for us to get to here. The calmest water can conceal a fraught of rock, or broken glass still jagged before turmoil. Opacity takes time: it took us less to brush down our aching limbs and ride out in spite of rain, certain of our destination. You knew the way

    but the blue temple marks the land, its foundations cleft and guarded by a tribe of dogs bred sandy and white. Streaks of rain tempt us through a hairline paradise where the canopy’s wreckage engulfs the sand, ghosting our footfalls, giving way to the waves we can only sense from the drench in the air. There’s a reason why olives are taken with wine. Salt and fruit sublimate

    the senses from a razor-thin meniscus, cutting then misty. Fallen thaati pallu bare their filaments of flesh with waning sweetness. It’s not proper unless there’s skin in the sea and tonight the waves test warmer than the air: a fever pulsing against the crown of sand. To both, my body has the least resistance. It strides out until it finds a depth suited to its length and drift,

    broken pieces drawn beneath. All of them, broken pieces: foam sweeping past like fire: your limbs inclining with distrust. Unmarked hide of a small dog risking the storm: merupu, her name. Layers of nerve stripped away: salt in the vein. A flood of different waters from sky: from sea: from pore: from well. The fragments you let me break off you restored by the thunderous waves.

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  • asynjja
    12.07.2021 - 10 monts ago
    good morning moa’s primary way of showing love is through food
    #if ur family she simply will always prepare lunch for u #if ur colleagues and friends? there's always lunch + coffee on ur desk when u arrive #she grew up starving so ofc she's gonna show her love in a way that she rarely experienced herself #by being given sustenance #that's why she grows her own food and that's why she will always offer food #bc she knows the hunger #―  ᴀᴋᴀ  ᴛʜᴀᴛ  ᴅᴜᴍʙ  ʜᴇʀʙɪᴠᴏʀᴇ .     out  of  character .
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  • wlwzone
    13.01.2021 - 1 year ago

    wait I didn't know u watched haikyuu hshdjdj also hiiiiiiiiiii its been a while I hope you've been doing well 🐻💕💕

    omg youmi my favourite person 🥰✨

    hiii ☺️💖💖 it HAS been a while 😢 i've missed u as always heh <333 and YES I BINGE WATCHED HAIKYUU i started and finished all of it within a week pls ✋🏼😭 SPARE ME i love it so much it's literally life changing and i will never be the same

    #if u have hq blog recs pls send them my way 😫😫 i need sustenance #i haven't read the manga idk if i want to cuz i might just wait and 🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️ experience the anime in full whenever it comes out #IDK THO #we will see #it's not like i can read it rn either cuz school started again 😭👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼 #OMG ALSO I SAW UR CARRD!!!! she's advanced now :') #(btw what pronouns r most preferred? jus lmk!) #(is most preferred a thing??? anyway. i mean like whatever u want me to refer to you w) #BTW THE HANNAH IN THE FRIENDS SECTION... is that.. is that perhaps.. me ? 🥺 #anyway the whole thing is SO CUTE IM OBSESSED I LOOOVE IT #youmi core fr #hm what else was i gonna say #OH YEAH ur anime blog heheheh i will be following that #unless u post spoilers from the manga 😣😭 then i will have to restrain myself #OMG AND I WANNA LISTEN TO UR PODCAST W RO!!! that's INSANELY COOL and adorable #but alas 😭😭 hq spoilers 😭 i cannot #i wish i could listen tho it sounds so fun 🥺💖💖💖 #youmi 🐻#a
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  • broodingdove
    24.05.2022 - 11 hours ago

    Trouble - Smokey Quartz

    @gem-morey

    The moment that Grey walked into this party she knew she was out of her depth.

    She had assumed, having gone to frat parties in America, that the "open to everyone end-of-the-year uni party" would be totally chill in comparison. She had very clearly forgotten that British kids have been drinking legally for way longer than she has, and beyond that, she's a total lightweight. She just watched four guys pour what looked like an entire litre of cider down their throats each and then start talking about properties of physics, or something? Like they were completely sober? Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

    Grey quietly made her way to the kitchen, took a shot of very cheap vodka that burned so bad she had to stifle a cough. She looked out over a sea of vaguely familiar faces, hoping no one noticed her handle her liquor like a big baby. She hasn't really made any friends outside her artsy little cohort, but that's because she hasn't tried very much. She's usually an extrovert, she's usually fabulous at making friends, but she's been off her game since the move. Especially recently...she's been more or less hiding in her room and squirrelling junk food for sustenance for the last several days.

    Just when she was considering giving up on this outing, and returning to the comfortable embrace of Jaffa Cakes, Monster Munch, Red Bull and Queer Eye, she saw Gem from across the room. The only person she knew by name.

    The only thing she really knows about him is he's Devyn and Elli's brother, was lowkey a dick to her that one time, that he's actually really funny on twitter, and that he accidentally set his family's booth on fire at the Farmer's Market. Is that enough to start a conversation on? Probably...not.

    Another shot will help.

    She knocked a second one back, with more grace than the first, but her lips still screwed up in a sour expression after swallowing. She then tried to gracefully cross the room, but crowded spaces are a winged-girl's worst nightmare, and she ended up bumping into and excuse me-ing basically everyone on the way to him.

    "Hi," she said, huffing and smoothing her hair out, "you, uh, probably don't remember me."

    #tw: alcohol#tw: drugs #tw: drug mention #tw: drunk#trouble#gem#smokey quartz #i didn't put it under a read more #because they havent started talking about 🍃 yet #but lmk if it should be
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  • morrow19dam
    23.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    Getting operate terminated your concern of public speechmaking truly is non as intemperately as you mightiness cogitate. Gaining roughly didactics on a few effectual strategies is rattling entirely you want to do. Keep studying the paragraphs below, and you testament before long experience how well-to-do it genuinely behind be to prompt others with your words.

    When you are speech production in public, there is usually a prison term material body that you require to stand by to. Progress to indisputable that you start to your Florida key points in front your clock time is up. Otherwise, you testament wealthy person skeletal completely of our time since the consultation leave non have got accepted the substance you were stressful to render. Obtain matchless someone in the crew who looks trusty and focalize on them. Hazard care the two of you are the only if populate in the board. llc in iowa are scared of speaking in public is because of the amount of people in the board. If you hardly focusing on nonpareil person, you testament leave anyone else is there. Brand sure to sympathize what you are saying. Regardless of whether you make the dustup memorized, it is even authoritative to cognise random facts around the material. Apply them judiciously when you finger your audience is sensory. You mightiness also breakthrough this entropy comes in convenient when it's clock to respond questions. It is significant to take in that nearly populate really wish you to follow. The near crucial matter is to render relevant, interesting selective information. To assist sustenance your talking to entertaining either distinguish a story all but yourself or a joke to warm the crowd up. This wish not alone caring the crowd, simply it testament likewise reserve you to loosen. Pattern makes perfective when it comes to world speech production. You tin can rehearse ahead your mirror or piss a transcription you nates spiel rear. Practise for friends and class to arrest advice. You volition pull ahead your interview all over if you hyperkinetic syndrome a small wit to your talking to. There is nonentity haywire with trowing in a jape or two and putting a smile on your audience's faces. However, do not go overboard on the jokes, as your hearing volition non learn you grievous. If you moldiness do a good deal of extempore speaking, be for sure to keep up on flow events and topics of worry. In this way, you wish always get something recently and interesting to state. Call back that it is unremarkably better to opt a costless overture instead than a humorous nonpareil unless you are extremely certain of your power to divert populate! E'er be yourself when you are giving a spoken communication and you bequeath sustain bettor chance with the consultation. Unassumingness is a lineament that many populate respect and look up to. If it is realise to the audience that you are non putting on a picture when you are speechmaking to them, they testament take in your subject matter best. Practice making your manner of speaking every twenty-four hours. This wish service you increase your confidence. However, don't suit so positive that you go onstage without notes. The notes will supporter you prohibited in example you do leave something authoritative. If you wish be speechmaking for a hanker time, be indisputable to have a chicken feed of piddle convenient on the dais. It is besides a sound mind to get a stool prat the rostrum so you fanny roost from time to time if you nonplus likewise tired. Don well-heeled place so that you leave be capable to centralize on your delivery preferably than your feet. If looking at at an hearing makes you nervous, essay not to expect at anyone in the center. Instead, tone higher up their heads. Your hearing volition not be capable to tell, and you wish non be unhinged by anyone's face. This volition assist you hold on your pore on your subject matter punter. Don't LET your sense modality acquired immune deficiency syndrome be so eye-transmissible that they unhinge from you. Ocular acquired immune deficiency syndrome should raise the info you are handsome. They should non proceeds complete the intact demonstration. Have surely they're senior high calibre and direction in on your keystone points. They should be colourful and magnetic without distracting from your overall display. There really is Bob Hope for those who accept long matt-up ineffective to verbalise in movement of others. By applying some of the unanimous tips and tricks described above, in that location is no conclude that any cautious psyche cannot transmute into a persuasive public loudspeaker. Bugger off started today, and the results leave surely gravel.

    #llc in iowa
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  • my-urdu-soul
    22.05.2022 - 2 days ago

    A dear friend is struggling and in need of urgent help, she’s an atheist and bisexual in a country like Pakistan where she cannot even express herself and because of this, she's under consistent threat of violence if anyone finds out. She can not move into the country due to security issues. She has relied on self-sustenance all her life and doesn’t want to look for refuge or complete dependency. So she’s looking for post-graduate education abroad.                                                                         “If You are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are  planning for a lifetime, educate people” – Chinese Proverb

    #respect women#help women #help a girl #let women study #help a woman study #help a girl study #feminism#sisters support
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  • irenas-diary
    22.05.2022 - 2 days ago

    okay, let’s do this! talkin about wyverns!!

    wyverns can live for around 1,000 years on average, the oldest ones have lived around 1,500

    wyverns come in many colors, such as red, cyan, green, blue, brown, black, cream, or golden. if one parent has red and the other has blue, the child could have purple or a mix of red/blue in layers; the scales are hard enough that it can act like armor

    when they aren’t close with someone, they appear reserved and stuck up, but after they spend time with someone, they let themselves be playful, talkative, and inquisitive. it all depends on the personality as well

    they preen and take pride in their appearance

    they are very attracted to anything that glimmers or shines in light

    their sustenance includes wights, fruits, berries, greenery, and other small animals in Rsh’Ack {home}. if they don’t feel good, they rip bark off the violet trees and chow down

    Rsh’Ack has blue skies, violet trees with blue leaves, green water most likely filled with algae, and indigo grass. the dark sky has thousands of suns and hundreds of moons a great distance away

    their homes are in caves and trees, jewel hoards aplenty in all dwellings

    when a wyvern dies their bones are collected and compressed by the living into jewels, and their scales are redistributed to their important brethren before their spirit goes into the beyond

    wyverns have a general rule to not interact with humans directly. they can pass overhead for a second, show up between trees, but directly trying to talk with them is prohibited and will result in banishment. this has been incorporated after Cogadh’Mòr and the hunting humans would try

    some of the older wyverns have stories of their old human friends, long dead. the young ones would marvel that the groups were ever friends, and some would try and remedy this by going into their world- some succeeded while others hadn’t

    the species only have bonding, procreation is done out of necessity, they live for so long it’s rarely done. blood means nothing outside of illness possibilities so wyverns can choose who their family includes by proximity if want be

    binding, the official name, can be done with whoever the wyvern selects. the wyvern gives up one of their scales for the other to ingest {in whatever way seems fit, usually they crush it up and put it over food} and a promise to never leave the others side until death. the other picks up wyvern traits like luster fascination, sharp nails that grow fast, better keratin {scales and hair}, and can withstand harm better

    they were similar to large lizards early on, but as their enemies grew and food started to get harder to obtain, they gained wings

    #irena's sticky note #aphmau#minecraft diaries
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  • primaba11erina
    22.05.2022 - 2 days ago

    Taking Chances: Chapter Forty Six.

    Note: Thank you to each and every one of you for all of your patience with me while I take my time to write this. 

    I would like to note that I have kept the beginning of this chapter the same as what it was before but I have gone through and edited it; but the second part of this chapter has not been edited so please ignore that for now.

    I hope that you enjoy chapter 46. Please let me know your thoughts as I worked extremely hard on this and forced myself through months and months of burnout and writer’s block.

    P.S: Chapter 47 will be a continuation of where this chapter ends. I had a lot of things planned for the entirety of the trip to Cannes but because this chapter was becoming incredibly long, I decided that it would be best for me to split it up.

    ===

    *Present Day*

    “Are you ok, deary?” The little old lady next to Nicola asked. Nicola slowly turned her head and shrugged.

    “I’m not sure. I don’t know what to feel.” Nicola solemnly replied. How was she supposed to process the horrible news? She felt betrayed and enraged. She wanted to hit something or someone until they felt as bad as she did.

    “You know, in my day, I was a good listener. Nowadays, I’m a little hard of hearing.” The lady said through a few slight chuckles. Nicola gave the woman a small smile. She appreciated the offer but she didn’t know where to begin with all of the turmoil she felt was sluggishly moving through every nook and cranny of her inner being.

    “Thanks.” Nicola responded softly before turning to look out the window again. The elderly woman felt bad for Nicola. She wanted to help but she didn’t know how until an idea popped into her head. She pressed the call button for a flight attendant.

    “How are you doing Edna?” The young bubbly brunette asked as she approached row 14.

    “I think me and my new friend could use a good stiff drink and maybe a pack of peanuts each.” Edna said matter-of-factly.

    “Edna, you know you're not supposed to drink alcohol with your medication but I can get you the peanuts.” The attendant said. Nicola let another small smile slip. She could definitely use a good stiff drink.

    “Oh tosh. I’m no candyass. I’m a spring chicken.” Edna replied with a wink and sly smile. Both Nicola and the attendant chuckled.

    “I like your spunk Edna but no alcohol. How about a couple of cokes instead.” The attendant suggested. Nicola nodded but Edna looked a tad defeated.

    “That sounds perfect, thank you.” Nicola replied, giving Edna a very motherly glance. Edna playfully pouted.

    “I’ll be right back with those.” The attendant said before leaving the two passengers.

    “Daughter-in-laws. Puh!” Edna teased. Nicola shrugged.

    “She seems nice.” Nicola replied. Edna nodded. She did love her family but she did hate it when they told her she couldn’t drink. 

    “Delany is such a sweet woman but oh lordy, does she have such an authoritative side to her personality.” Edna responded. 

    “It’s nice to hear that you have such a sweet family member.” Nicola said, hoping that she wasn’t giving anything away by her answer. Edna picked up on the hidden meaning though.

    “Well my deary, now I have to have all the gossip.” Edna said as she laid her hand on Nicola’s. She felt how warm and strong Edna’s hand was. It brought her comfort and made her feel like she could trust this woman next to her. Maybe Edna was her guardian angel who knew just how much she was hurting.

    The two women sat in a short silence before Delany came back with the sustenance she was asked for. Both women thanked Delany and started enjoying their snacks.

    “Now, I know heartbreak when I see it so tell me everything.” Edna said as she sipped her fizzy drink through a straw.

    “It’s a long story.” Nicola responded. Edna winked.

    “Even better.” She replied.

    “Alright, here goes nothing.” Nicola countered.

    =

    A few days had passed by since Taron had seen the picture from Nicola’s birthday last year and he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t been thinking of her. He wondered what she was up to and how she was doing. Taron wanted to text her but remembered his mum’s words and thought better of it.

    “Daddy, can you play Dinosaurs wif me?” Mikey asked one cozy evening, not looking up from his little figurines. Taron took a sip of coffee before answering.

    “Sure, mate.” Taron replied, making his way over to where Mikey had set up his pterodactyls.

    “You can be dis one.” Mikey said as he passed his father a brontosaurus. Taron took it and got comfortable.

    The two boys sat and played with the figurines for a while before Taron’s brain pinged with an idea that hopefully Mikey would be on board with.

    “Can I ask you something, son?” Taron questioned. Mikey nodded before making his T-Rex run into a pile of books that represented a volcano. 

    “You know how we are going on a plane?” The father asked.

    “Yeah, I’m excited.” Mikey told Taron, making him chuckle.

    “Me too, but what do you think about asking Nicola to come and join us?” Taron asked tentatively. Mikey looked at Taron and with the brightest and widest smile he could muster. If he thought he was excited before, he was ecstatic now.

    “Yeah!” Mikey cheered. Taron had to admit that he rather liked the idea of Nicola joining them in Cannes as well.

    “I can’t wait to see Jasmine.” Mikey added. Taron didn’t know how to respond to that. He only had Nicola in mind for the trip and not the girls.

    “That’s not what-” Taron started before he realized that Mikey was focused on his dinosaurs again. 

    Maybe it was a good thing that Mikey mentioned Jasmine. The girls would be a good buffer of sorts. He now had a lot more to think about before talking to his team about his full guest list for the mass event.

    “Right, what should we have for dinner?” Taron questioned as an attempt at clearing his head for the time being. Mikey barely looked up as he announced that he wanted to have meat for dinner just like his T-Rex. Taron nodded and got to work on grilling the steak and steaming the veggies.

    =

    Half an hour later, the food was all ready and Taron dished it up between the two of them, making sure to cut Mikey’s steak into chewable pieces for him. 

    “Are your dinosaurs sleeping now?” Taron asked as Mikey walked over to the kitchen so that he could wash his hands.

    “No.” Mikey replied.

    “If they’re not sleeping, what are they doing?” Taron asked again.

    “Eating cake.” Mikey said. Taron raised his brow curiously.

    “It’s Dot’s birfday.” Mikey told his father matter-of-factly.

    “Who’s Dot?” Taron asked. He had never heard of this dinosaur before and was curious about Mikey's answer.

    “She was just borned.” Mikey stated seriously.

    “Oh, I see. Well I hope they have fun because it’s time for us to eat.” Taron responded with amusement. Mikey agreed and took his plate from Taron’s hands.

    Tonight, they were going to eat their dinner while watching ‘A Bug's Life’. It was a film that both the father and son loved.

    =

    The next morning Taron got up to get himself ready for a day of interviews he had to do along with some of his co-stars. It wasn’t that he hated doing the interviews as he knew it came with his job, it was just that he hated being away from Mikey for so long.

    Taron was glad to have Olivia’s help with Mikey during work hours but he wished that he could be home with his son to watch him discover new things and to see how his imagination ran wild with the coolest and unique ideas. 

    “Not hungry.” Mikey said rather harshly to his nanny. Olivia rolled her eyes. This was the fifth time he had told her that in the span of five minutes, despite Taron having told Mikey that he had to finish his breakfast.

    “You need to eat Mikey. If you don’t, we can’t go to the park today.” Olivia said, meaning business this time. 

    Mikey simply glared at the woman in challenge. He was not going to eat his food and that was that. He wasn’t budging.

    “Michael, are you giving Olivia a hard time?” Taron called from his bathroom. 

    “No.” Mikey answered back albeit snarkily. Taron sighed and rolled his eyes. He had no idea what had gotten into his son overnight but he was not about to let this slide.

    Taron walked out of his bathroom and toward the kitchen where his son and  nanny were standing. Olivia heard him and looked up, not expecting Taron to be wearing only sweatpants and shaving cream on his face. She tried to stifle a laugh but it was no use. At this, Mikey turned to look at his father.

    “Daddy, you look funny.” Mikey said matter-of-factly. 

    “Gee, thanks.” Taron replied sarcastically. Mikey continued to examine his father making the situation rather comical as you could see the cogs turning in the little boy’s head.

    “Why do you have that?” Mikey finally asked after a couple minutes of silence, pointing at Taron’s face for added effect.

    “Because, I’m getting ready for work.” Taron answered but Mikey wasn’t satisfied.

    “Why?” He asked again. Taron sighed again and looked at Olivia. She got the hint and went to the laundry room to tend to the folding.

    “Michael, why are you being so difficult this morning?” Taron asked when Olivia was out of earshot.

    “Wanna come wif you.” Mikey said in a pouting manner. Taron ruffled Mikey’s hair.

    “I’m sorry mate, but you have to stay here with Olivia.” Taron said, making Mikey frown.

    “No.” Mikey shouted defiantly and crossed his arms over his chest in protest.

    “That’s enough, Michael. I don’t want to hear any more arguing coming from here. Go finish your breakfast please.” Taron warned sternly. Mikey stuck his tongue out at Taron, which earned him a tap on the shoulder and a warning glance. He knew he was going to be in trouble if he continued but he didn’t care.

    “You can’t make me.” The little boy challenged, making Taron’s brows raise in surprise. Something had obviously happened to Mikey between now and last night that he wasn’t aware of.

    Taron wanted to reply but he knew that if he did, Mikey would only become worse and he’d be late. Instead, Taron kept his mouth closed and mustered up the most fatherly warning look he could. At that, Mikey closed his lips and stomped his way back to the table to begrudgingly finish his eggs and peanut butter toast.

    Once he was satisfied that his son was no longer being defiant, Taron went back to the bathroom to finish shaving and getting himself ready.

    =

    Later that day Taron was sitting at a lone table in a cafe for lunch when his phone rang. His first thought was that Mikey was being difficult again and was refusing to listen, so, without looking at the caller ID, he answered the call.

    “What’s he done now?” Taron asked exasperatedly. 

    “Taron love, is everything ok?” Tina asked with worry and slight confusion. Taron pinched the bridge of his nose and tightly shut his eyes.

    “Sorry mam. Mikey was being a bit difficult this morning with Olivia and I thought it was her on the phone.” Taron replied and Tina nodded.

    “I see, well maybe check your caller ID before jumping to conclusions next time.” She advised. Taron hummed in agreement.

    “How are you mam?” Taron asked after a minute.

    “I’m alright but I’m calling to ask why Nicola seems to be in such a state.” She replied, knowing full well that her son was behind it. Taron bit his lower lip nervously.

    “Taron, I know you’re still there and I expect an answer.” Tina warned. Taron knew that tone of voice and knew he had no choice but to come clean.

    “I may or may not have texted her to ask if she’d come to Cannes with us.” Taron said quickly. Tina sighed. This is what she was afraid of.

    “Taron, I specifically remember telling you to leave her be. You are forcing things again and it’s going to push her away if you are not careful. You are treading on extremely thin ice right now, boyo.” Tina said.

    “It was an offer mam, not a marriage proposal.” Taron responded shortly. 

    “Well she may as well be seeing it as a marriage proposal. She’s not ready for commitment like that and you of all people should understand that.” Tina said, getting frustrated that Taron was not taking heed to what she told him.

    “Please relax mam, this is an important moment for me and I want my friends and family there; and  like it or not, Nicola is a part of that. She always will be.” Taron said, feeling his temper beginning to rise.

    “I get that boy, but don’t you think you should listen more. She isn’t ready for a relationship yet and pushing her into one is going to make her run.” Tina countered. 

    Taron knew that she was right but that wasn’t what he was doing. He just wanted the most important people in his life to see how far he’d come in his career and for them to be there to support him. Couldn’t his mam see that?

    “I’m not pushing anyone into anything. Both Mikey and I want her AND the girls to join us. They are part of our friend and family group. We just want them to be included in this because we love them. Being in a relationship with her is not in the forefront of my mind. Right now all I want is my son and his friend to be reunited and to not be lectured about something I’m not trying to push.” Taron seethed out. To say that Tina was taken back was an understatement. 

    “Well, she’s viewing it as you trying to worm your way in again.” Tina said a bit softer this time. Taron was livid now. He knew he had to go or else his temper would even worse.

    “Whatever mam. I don’t have time for this. Everything about Nicola and I has always been full of raging anger and I’m done. All I want is for her to be there with the girls so that Mikey and Jasmine can spend time together and so I can spend time with my daughter; so that I can share this incredible moment with the people I love.” Taron said.

    “What am I supposed to tell her if she asks me why you’re doing this, then?” Tina asked, curious of her son’s answer.

    “I don’t really care what you tell her anymore. Tell her she’s friend zoned if that’s what she wants. I’m done trying to show her that I want her in my life. If she’s not going to accept that, then she’s lost me.” Taron said before hanging up on Tina. He was beyond angry and hurt right now but given the time that had passed, he was due back at the interviews.

    =

    Five hours away in Aber, Nicola was sitting at the kitchen table trying to get some work done while Luna napped and Jasmine was at school, when her phone rang. She picked it up and saw that it was Brenna calling her.

    “Hi.” Nicola replied as she scrolled through her legal email document. Brenna tried not to laugh at how robotic her friend sounded.

    “You sound so enthused. What are you up to?” Brenna asked.

    “I’m going through legal shit and trying to figure out how the hell to change my name and Jasmine’s.” Nicola replied. 

    “I can tell that something else is bothering you. Want to tell me what it is?” Brenna questioned. Nicola grunted in annoyance.

    “I know that grunt.” she said.

    “Oh yeah. He’s being himself.” Nicola answered. She didn’t know how else to describe it.

    “And by being himself, you mean what?” Brenna asked, wanting to hear her friend say it.

    “He invited me to the Cannes festival.” Nicola said bluntly. Brenna’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

    “Are you serious? Do you know how fucking huge that is? Bloody hell!” Brenna rambled, gobsmacked. 

    “Tell me about it. I really don’t want to go.” Nicola said. Brenna remained silent for a minute.

    “Why not? It’ll give you a chance to show him what he’s missing out on.” Brenna responded in a cheeky tone. Nicola smiled a little. She did love the idea of making Taron sweat a bit.

    “I don’t know. I feel like he’s doing this as a way to get me to be with him. The necklace alone was enough to freak me the fuck out.” Nicola explained. Brenna nodded. She knew how much the necklace fiasco affected Nicola and how confused and scared she was by the gesture and Nicola was right, what if this was just another way to force her into something she wasn’t ready for. I mean, she had two kids she had to think about as well as herself.

    “Have you tried talking to him? Maybe this isn’t like the necklace, maybe he just wants his friends and family there with him. Cannes is a big ass event, maybe he just needs support.” Brenna tried but Nicola rolled her eyes.

    “Or maybe he just wants to show me off as his girlfriend.” Nicola said sarcastically. Brenna chuckled.

    “Either way Nic, I’d talk to him and find out what he meant by inviting you. Maybe it’s not what you think at all.” Brenna said softly, making Nicola rethink her irrationality. 

    “I don’t want to talk to him because the last time we did, it ended up in a big fight and put emphasis on the fact that Luna was HIS daughter.” Nicola told her.

    “Girl, you hold too many grudges. Yes ok, he shouldn’t have said that but at the same time, you two are clearly very hot for each other and you need to do something before the children start suffering again. It’s so hard on kids and Jasmine and Mikey have been through so much in the short time they’ve been on this planet. Do you really want Luna to go through that as well? That’s what you have to ask yourself.” Brenna explained. Nicola knew that Brenna was right but she wasn’t ready to let Taron back in yet.

    “I don’t think I can let him in again.” Nicola replied quietly. 

    “That’s up to you but remember that he put your differences aside, long enough to invite Jasmine to New York for his birthday. He didn’t have to do that, nor did he have to give her the gift he did. That girl adores Taron and Luna needs her father. Both girls need him, Nic. If not for you, do it for them.” Brenna said very convincingly. Nicola playfully growled.

    “I hate you.” Nicola said, making Brenna laugh.

    “Oh don’t be silly, you love the shit out of me. Seriously though, at least call Tina and ask what Taron meant by all of this and please, consider going. Show him what he could have had.” Brenna concluded.

    “Yeah, alright. I’ll let you know what happens.” Nicola said.

    “Atta girl. You got this.” Brenna said one last time before she and Nicola bid their goodbyes and hung up.

    =

    The train ride to London was intense to the very least. No one ever tells you that traveling with a teething 6 month old would be like traveling with a tiny demon. Luna cried non-stop and was inconsolable. It was really starting to grind on Nicola’s nerves, especially since everyone was now at the airport waiting to board the plane to Cannes.

    “Please stop, child. You’re driving me nuts.” Nicola whined. She was on the brink of tears. She felt frustrated as she had no idea how to help her baby. She had tried nursing Luna, bouncing her, rocking her, giving her her soother but nothing was working.

    “Would you like me to take her?” Jack offered. Nicola nodded and passed the screaming baby to her uncle Jack. 

    Jack was amazing with kids and normally when he held a fussing Luna, she would stop and stare at him like he was the most interesting thing she had ever seen but this time was different, she wasn’t settling with him. Jack thought that maybe Bleddyn could calm the infant as he too was good with kids. Soon enough Luna was being passed around to everyone like a parcel at a birthday party which added to the irritation Luna.

    By the time that Luna was beyond upset and her little face was so red, Jasmine had enough as well. No one was doing the right comforting method. She thought that Tina would pick up on it but nope, she didn’t. Luna was eventually placed back in her mother’s arms and that’s when Jasmine went over to defuse the situation.

    “You’re doing it wrong.” She said loudly and exasperatedly, grabbing everyone’s attention, making them chuckle.

    “Can you help me hold her?” Jasmine asked, feeling confident that she held the key to Luna’s happiness. Nicola looked at her sister unsure but shrugged and let Jasmine do her thing.

    “Hi baby. I know you’re sad but it’s ok.” Jasmine said as she began gently stroking Luna’s tiny ear. Soon the baby’s cries waned off and Luna’s eyes began to droop with exhaustion. Everyone was gobsmacked. Jasmine really did know how to make Luna’s angry cries stop.

    “It’s ok baby.” Jasmine said softly before humming (rather off key) ‘you are my sunshine’. Nicola teared up and couldn’t help but smile. She was in awe of how incredible Jasmine was. Yes, she knew that already but seeing her calm an irate baby was something magical she never thought she’d witness. Jasmine was amazing.

    “I love you.” Jasmine whispered as she bent down and kissed a now sleeping Luna’s forehead. 

    “Ok, you can take her now but be careful not to wake her.” Jasmine warned as she locked eyes with her sister. Nicola nodded and secured Luna into the baby carrier. 

    “Flight BA1476 to Cannes is boarding now. Would all passengers with children please come forward as well as those that need assistance.” A voice over the overhead speaker said. Jasmine looked at Nicola and smiled brightly. 

    “I’m so excited.” She said with a giddy tone. Nicola chuckled and stood up, grabbing hold of Jasmine’s hand and her and Luna’s carry on bag.

    “I’m glad, honey.” Nicola said as they made their way to the front desk to be boarded.

    =

    “I don’t see dem.” Mikey said as he continued jumping to try and see over the crowd of people. Taron had to laugh at his son. He was cute and was very hyped to see his family but most of all, he was hyped to see his best friend in the wholest and widest world.

    “Hold on.” Taron said as he lifted the boy and placed him on his shoulders, making sure to hold his hands so Mikey wouldn’t fall.

    “Better?” Taron asked. Mikey nodded. 

    “I can see everything.” Mikey exclaimed. Taron smiled and looked at the monitor to see if the plane had landed. It had and Taron’s heart was racing. He had no idea how Nicola was going to react but he had already made his mind up to just be civil and polite with her and not do anything to make her run as he really wanted her to be there with everyone.

    “I see gramma Tina.” Mikey hollered as Tina came into view. Taron rolled his eyes. Recently Mikey had taken to calling Tina ‘gramma Tina’ and he wasn’t quite sure why but he let him do it as it made the kid happy and it wasn’t hurting anyone.

    “Wave to her. See if she waves back.” Taron instructed, letting one of Mikey’s hands go so he could do so. Mikey did and waved very enthusiastically. Tina saw this and laughed before leading everyone to where the boys were standing.

    “Daddy down.” Mikey said as he wriggled to climb down. Taron safely placed him on the ground and Mikey took off toward Tina, who welcomed him with open arms.

    “Oh my boy, look how big you are.” Tina fawned as she squeezed the giggles out of the small child. 

    “I love you gramma Tina.” Mikey said through his laughter. Tina giggled as well but was surprised by the new title. She looked up at her son who shrugged at her.

    “Hello mam.” Taron greeted as she stood and wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. 

    “How are you?” Tina asked, happy to see her eldest child. Taron smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

    “Knackered, nervous and very happy.” He replied. Tina caressed his cheek and moved to gently stroke his ear. She stopped herself when she realized that Taron’s coping mechanism and Luna’s were identical. It made her smile brightly.

    “What’s the matter?” Taron asked with worry. Tina kissed his cheek.

    “I am so proud of you and how far you’ve come.” Tina said, quickly covering her actions. Don’t get her wrong, she was extremely proud of her son but she also didn’t want him to know what Jasmine had done for Luna as Jasmine asked if she could tell Taron.

    “Thank you mam.” Taron said, hugging her again.

    “Oi mate, some help would be great.” Jack grumbled as he tried to hold onto a hanging Mikey. Mikey was so excited to see his uncles and it was mainly because they let him hang all over them.

    “Michael, let his leg go please. We’re in public.” Taron warned, feeling embarrassed. Mikey giggled and held onto Jack’s legs tighter.

    “Mikey mate, your girlfriend’s here.” Bleddyn teased. Jasmine giggled as Mikey blushed and climbered off of Jack.

    “Hi Mikey.” Jasmine said as she hugged him. Their little reunion made the adults smile and chuckle. 

    “Taron, a hand would be great.” Jack said. It was then that Taron realized Jack was holding Luna who was beaming at her father. Taron rushed forward and scooped the little girl into his arms and kissed her chubby cheeks.

    “Oh my darling, look at you.” Taron cooed as the baby girl tried to grab his glasses from his face.

    “Here’s the nappy bag. Nicola’s waiting for the luggage. I’m going to help.” Jack said. Taron took the bag and watched his friend disappear, giving him time to admire just how beautiful his daughter was.

    At six months old, Luna’s hair had started growing in curly and as she beamed at her father with an open mouth, he was able to see that she had one tooth that had come in fully and the spot next to it was red and inflamed with another tooth growing. It made him think back to how Mikey really struggled with teething and his heart went out to Nicola and how tough it must be for her.

    “Daddy missed you so much.” Taron said as he hugged Luna.

    “How was she on the plane?” Taron asked no one in particular. 

    “She was ok when we were in the sky but waiting to board the plane, the take off and the landing were all very difficult as the little lady insisted on screaming and crying bloody murder.” Tom explained, sitting next to Taron. Jasmine’s ears perked up at this and she nodded in agreement.

    “It was so loud.” Jasmine said, joining in the conversation.

    “She seems fine now though.” Taron noted. 

    “Jasmine here was the only one that could calm her. It was quite something.” Tom replied, just as Luna sunk her sharp tooth into Taron’s forearm.

    “Fucking hell.” Taron hollered, ripping his arm away and scaring his daughter half to death. 

    “What?” Tina asked as she hurried over.

    “She bit me.” He complained, glancing at the mark on his forearm. Tina rolled her eyes. 

    “She’s teething Taron, babies will do that.” Tina told him as Jasmine picked up the bracelet on Taron’s wrist.

    “I’m bleeding mam.” Taron whined. Tina sighed and shook her head.  

    “I think she wanted that.” Jasmine said, looking at him.

    “It bloody hurts.” Taron replied. Jasmine rolled her eyes and sarcastically pat his arm.

    “It’s going to be ok.” She sassed. Tom and Tina laughed until Luna tried to bite him again.

    “‘Luna, no.” Jasmine said, pointing her finger and making her niece’s eyes well up with tears and her bottom lip to tremble. It didn’t take long for Luna to start crying and Nicola to groan to herself. She was thankful that she was wearing nursing pads because if she wasn’t, she’d not only be tired and annoyed, she’d be embarrassed and as red as a tomato by now.

    “What’s going on with her now?” Nicola questioned as she approached the small group. Taron looked up and locked eyes with Nicola. 

    “She bloody bit me, that’s what.” Taron responded. 

    “Where did she bite you?” Nicola asked with slight amusement. At least he was getting a taste of his own medicine.

    “My arm.” He said just like a small injured child. Nicola nodded and pursed her lips in an attempt to stifle a laugh.

    “Well Taron, be thankful that she didn’t bite your nipple while you attempt to breastfeed her.” Nicola replied, feeling very satisfied when the grown man blushed a deeper shade of red than Mikey did when Bleddyn teased Mikey about Jasmine.

    “Come on sweetheart. Daddy’s just being silly.” Nicola said as she took her daughter and rubbed her back. Jasmine looked at Nicola with a warning.

    “Don’t be mean.” Jasmine said, pointing at Nicola the same way she did with Luna. Nicola’s brows raised.

    “Since when did you become the boss?” Nicola asked.

    “Since you’re being mean to Taron.” Jasmine answered unwavering in her warning. 

    *Present day*

    “Oh, that doesn’t sound so bad.” Edna said, giving Nicola a small smile as their plane began its descent into the airport.

    “Well not yet. I haven’t gotten to the juicy parts yet.” Nicola replied, giving the elderly woman a slight smirk. Edna grinned and playfully tapped Nicola's hand.

    “Go on then.” Edna said. Nicola smiled and continued on with her story.

    *Flashback*

    =

    “I wasn’t being mean, thank you very much.” Nicola grumbled, making Jasmine look at her sister with disbelief. Jasmine knew that Nicola was on edge and was feeling nervous but did she really have to be so rude and horrible to everyone.

    “Right, before this escalates any further, I would say it’s time to head to the hotel so that we can rest and freshen up.” Tina said.

    “Good idea. I could use a drink or two.” Tom and Jack agreed, grabbing the luggage carts and heading for the exit where the cars were waiting to take the group to their accommodation.

    Everyone else soon followed the two men, leaving Taron, Nicola and the kids standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

    “Why are we standing here?” Jasmine asked, getting annoyed with the fact that the supposed adults were being so immature.

    “Yeah, let's go.” Mikey said, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. Both of the kids appearing to act as the adults. Nicola and Taron smirked at the two kids and shook their heads. Who knew that a pair of 6 year olds could make a pair of 29 year olds feel like they were in trouble.

    =

    The car ride to the hotel was silent, apart from Mikey and Jasmine talking and laughing as kids do.

    “Where are we going?” Jasmine asked Taron as she turned to face him. Taron smiled, winked and tapped the side of his nose.

    “You can whisper it to me. I won’t say nothin.” Jasmine said, trying her best to get the information from him.

    “You will find out soon. We’re almost there, missy.” He said, unknowingly making Nicola’s insides twist.

    “How soon is almost. My ass is getting numb.” Nicola mumbled but Taron heard it and looked at her.

    “Soon.” He somewhat snapped. Jasmine and Mikey looked at each other and let out a huff of air. They could tell that this was going to be a long vacation.

    “Easy for you to fucking say, you haven’t been on a train and plane in one day with a child and screaming baby.” Nicola spat back. Taron rolled his eyes before looking out his window. He felt relief when he saw the hotel within view.

    “We’re here.” Taron said, making sure to add a bit of bite to his words. Nicola shot him an angry glare and he knew to shut his mouth but he didn’t

    “I thought your ass was numb, why are you still sitting there?” He questioned with an attitude. 

    “Look, can you just stop. I’ve traveled so many hours to be here and I’m tired.” Nicola said.

    “It shows.” Taron quipped. Nicola wanted to hit him but she tried her best to hold back.

    “Stop it, now.” Mikey said, having more than enough of the bickering that was going on in the car. Jasmine nodded in agreement and undid her seatbelt, ready to exit the car.

    “That’s enough, thank you Michael.” Taron said as he helped the kids out of the car and grabbed the luggage out the back of the car.

    =

    Once the luggage had been taken out of the car and loaded onto a luggage cart, Taron, Mikey and the rest of their friend group walked inside and gaped at how lavish everything appeared. It was immaculate and Nicola once again felt very out of place.

    Tina took notice of the timid expression on Nicola’s face and rubbed her back, letting her know that it would be ok. Nicola glanced at the other woman and gave her a small smile.

    “Right, mam, this is your room.” Taron said as he unlocked the front door for his mam, Guy and little sisters.

    “Oh Taron, you didn’t have to do this.” Tina gushed as she took in her surroundings. Taron smiled and shrugged. He wanted to treat them as they had done so much for him to get to where he was now.

    “Yes, I did. Now, go and enjoy.” He told them. Tina nodded as she and Guy entered the room hand in hand; Rosie and Mari following closely behind. The atmosphere too exciting for them; they were practically bouncing off the walls.

    “What bout us?” Jasmine asked, looking up at the man. Taron looked down at her and smiled.

    “Shall we go have a look?” Taron asked. Jasmine nodded enthusiastically, making Nicola smile and chuckle a little. The sound of her chuckle was music to Taron’s ears, though he wouldn’t admit it to her at this point.

    As they passed room after room, Nicola got more and more nervous. She had no idea where Taron was leading them and she was afraid that they’d be in the same room as him. However, that thought was quickly shattered when Mikey spoke up.

    “Dat’s our house.” Mikey exclaimed as they passed a room. Jasmine giggled and Nicola let out a silent breath she’d been holding. She was relieved they weren’t sharing.

    “And this, this is your room.” Taron said as he opened the door, letting the kids inside. Jasmine’s jaw dropped. Their room was as big as Aber, or so she thought. It even had a pool outside, making her want to have a swim in it.

    “Can I go swimming?” Jasmine practically begged. Nicola smiled softly at her and shrugged.

    “Once we get unpacked you can.” Nicola told her. Jasmine ran to her sister and hugged her legs. She was so happy to be here and have her friend back again.

    “You know the best part of this room?” Taron asked, looking at Jasmine.

    “What?” She replied.

    Taron was about to reply when Luna took that opportunity to unload the loudest fart known to man. That of course, was accompanied by the rankest smell she’d ever released.

    “Oh my days, Luna!” Taron said, waving his hand in front of his face. Nicola grew annoyed at the comment. She was a baby, obviously her poos would smell the worst. 

    Luna smiled cheekily.

    “Here, change her.” Nicola said, handing Taron the baby and her change bag. He looked at Nicola with pleading in his eyes.

    “Wanna bond with her, this is your chance.” She told him. He cleared his throat and nodded his head. He swallowed as he turned on his heel and walked toward the bathroom.

    “Right, now that nincompoop is out of the room, why don’t I help you two unpack.” Nicola told the kids. They both cheered and raced toward a room that was designated for the little girl.

    When they got to the room, Jasmine and Nicola’s jaws hit the floor. The room was bigger than they had ever seen and Jasmine felt like she was in heaven. Never before had she been given a humongous room to sleep in and the bed was a dream. She knew she’d have getting lost in the amount of covers there were on the king sized bed.

    “Talk about spoiled.” Nicola commented under her breath as she scanned the room.

    “Taron was right, I do have a tv in here.” Jasmine squealed. Nicola chuckled at the wonderment on Jasmine’s face and the thrill in her tone. Neither of them had seen such an opulent room before and this was something they’d remember for the rest of their lives.

    “That doesn’t mean you get to stay up watching it all night.” Nicola warned her. Jasmin nodded but her face held a cheeky smirk.

    “Is that mine too?” Jasmine asked, pointing to a mirrored door. Nicola shrugged and walked over to it.

    She opened it and her jaw hit the floor again.

    “Girl, you have a walkin closet.” Nicola announced. Jasmine gasped and ran to her sister. She peered inside and giggled. This was blowing her mind. There was so much to discover.

    “Looks like you have lots of room for all of the clothes you insisted on bringing with you.” Nicola teased. Jasmine rolled her eyes.

    “I needed them all.” Jasmine retorted. She had told Nicola that it was important to pack so many outfits because you never know what you might need. Nicola had to laugh at that. Her sister may be young but boy oh boy did she have a strong and sassy personality. She felt sorry for whoever Jasmine was going to end up with in the future.

    “Alright, well, now you can unpack. I’ll find my room so if you need me for anything, just yell.” Nicola said, making her leave.

    =

    Exploring a little bit more, Nicola found a nespresso maker and she smiled to herself. That was going to be something that she’d desperately need during this trip. She also found a mini bar which she was going to take full advantage of once the girls were in bed for the night.

    “Lina!” Jasmine called from her room. Nicola sighed and went back to her sister.

    “Yes Jasmine?” Nicola replied.

    “Help.” The girl said, trying to lift her suitcase and place it on the closet shelf. Nicola shook her head and was gobsmack when she saw the contents of Jasmine’s suitcase on the ground. The contents that she had taken a while to fold carefully and neatly before they left the U.K.

    “Did you really need to do that?” Nicola grumbled. Jasmine and Mikey looked at the pile.

    “I need hangers.” Jasmine said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Nicola sighed exasperatedly.

    “Alright, fine.” Nicola said, removing the hangers and passing them to Jasmine and Mikey. The kids immediately put them on the bed so they wouldn’t lose them. 

    “You two wait for me, I’m going to che-” Nicola began before she was cut off.

    “Fuck!” Mikey spoke. Nicola didn’t look pleased  but Jasmine giggled. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

    “Michael!” Nicola gasped, making Mikey burst into laughter as well.

    “This isn’t funny. That was very naughty.” Nicola told the kids but aimed it toward the little boy. She couldn’t believe Mikey would say that word and even more, she wondered where he had heard that word before because as far as she knew, taron was careful about not swearing in front of Mikey.

    “I don’t want to hear that word again. From either of you, understand?” Nicola warned. Both kids nodded despite their giggles still echoing through the room.

    Nicola bent over to pick up the hanger that Mikey dropped and placed it on the bed. That’s when she heard Taron.

    “Fuck!” He shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear. Nicola closed her eyes and grunted in annoyance. So he did swear in front of Mikey.

    Mikey and Jasmine looked at Nicola and started giggling even more as Taron emerged from the bathroom with a newly changed Luna.

    Nicola glared daggers at him.

    “Taron.” Nicola growled. She was not at all impressed and Taron had no idea why.

    “What?” He asked, somewhat annoyed. 

    “I just told your son off for swearing and here you do the same thing and in front of a baby who hasn’t even started speaking yet.” She said firmly. She was mad.

     Taron knew that tone well and knew that she meant business. He sighed and looked closer at Nicola.

    He could see past her pissed off and tired facade, seeing just how insecure she really was in that moment. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling the same way. He was still trying to get used to the fact that he was actually here in Cannes with his family, friends and co-stars to premiere the movie he had worked so hard on over the last however many months it had been.

    “Michael, you can’t say that.” Taron said but it didn’t work because Mikey just smiled at him.

    “You said it.” Mikey countered. Taron couldn’t argue with that because he knew Nicola was right. He swore in front of Mikey all the time but never did he think that his son would repeat those words. It made him wonder if Luna would pick the word up while they were in Cannes because guaranteed, he’d be swearing like a sailor for the rest of their stay.

    “No more of that word. From now on, all swears are not allowed. Everyone understand?” Nicola warned. Yep, she was definitely raging at the thought of Luna being surrounded by rude words.

    Taron and the older two kids nodded, despite having smiles on their faces.

    =

    Later that evening, Nicola, the girls and everyone else were sitting at a fancy restaurant catching up and having a wonderful dinner. Jasmine and Mikey were of course chatting amongst themselves and Rosie and Mari were focused on their niece who was currency trying to pull Rosie’s hair.

    “Girls, that’s enough. Stop encouraging her.” Tina warned, taking notice of the louder giggles coming from her girls.

    “But it’s fun.” Mari replied. Tina gave her a warning look before glancing at Nicola, seeing the woman barely touching her food.

    “Mari Elizabeth, don’t test me. I mean it.” Tina said again. Both girls knew by her tone that there would be serious consequences if they didn’t listen so they stopped and went back to eating their food.

    Tina was about to ask Nicola if she was ok when a waiter walked over to the table and asked if they were all ready for dessert. They of course nodded and ordered what they wanted.

    “Lina, I need the toilet.” Jasmine whispered, leaning over to talk privately. 

    “Tina, can you keep an eye on Luna, Jazz needs a minute.” Nicola asked the woman sitting across from her. Tina smiled and nodded.

    Nicola and Jasmine left the table, grabbing Taron’s attention.

    “Everything alright mam?” Taron asked.

    “All is well son.” Tina replied. Taron didn’t really look convinced but before he could say anything, the waiter came back with the desserts, followed by Elton and David.

    “Hello dear boy.” Elton greeted, not paying any mind to all the eyes on him. He was used to it.

    “Elton, David. How are you?” Taron asked as he stood to properly greet them.

    “I hope we’re not interrupting anything.” David replied politely. Everyone shook their heads and Taron invited Elton and David to join them. The table was big enough after all.

    “So, you must be excited for the big day.” Guy said, as calmly as he could. David, Elton and Taron all nodded in agreement.

    “Having the support of our loved ones has made this process that much more special.” Elton replied.

    “Speaking of which, Taron, why don’t you tell us who all these wonderful people are.” Elton concluded.

    “Yes, of course.” Taron replied. He started with Mikey, who Elton already knew and then went round the table, ending at his daughter who yawned. She had well and truly had enough and was ready for bed.

    “It’s lovely to meet you all and Michael, it’s lovely to see you again.” Elton spoke, earning a bright grin from the little boy.

    Of course the lack of attention on her, made Luna kick up a fuss and begin to bang her spoon on the tray of her highchair. She wanted out and was determined to do anything to get someone to remove her from the entrapment she currently felt in that moment.

    “Come on you.” Taron said as he stood and made his way over to rescue his daughter. He carefully hoisted her into his arms and as soon as she felt secure and satisfied, she let her head flop onto Taron’s shoulder.

    “Awww sweet girl.” Guy cooed at the adorable scene before him.

    “All better?” Taron asked as he sat back down with Luna. She lifted her head and gave him a look as if to say ‘about damn time you took me out of that horrible device.’

    “Who’s that?” Jasmine asked as she and Nicola got back to the table. Nicola had been oblivious to the fact that two more people had joined their table.

    “Hello darling.” David greeted warmly. Jasmine smiled at him and then looked at Elton. 

    “Hi.” She said, earning herself an Elton John smile and a sneaky wink.

    “Elton, David, this is Jasmine. Jasmine, this is David and Elton.” Taron introduced. Jasmine waved and plopped back down in her chair, ready for her chocolate cake.

    Taron chuckled at her enthusiasm before turning his attention to Nicola. His smile faltered slightly. He didn’t know what to label her as so he picked the first thing that came to his mind.

    “And this is Luna’s mum, Nicola.” Taron said, motioning towards her. Nicola may have smiled at the men and greeted them warmly but deep down, her heart was breaking. Just Luna’s mum? That hurt her more than she thought it would and Elton could see it in her eyes. He knew that pain, he had been through it after all.

    “It’s lovely to finally meet you. We’ve many a story about you.” David said, making Nicola blush.

    “All good things I hope.” She said, looking at Taron, hoping that he’d pick up on the fact that he better not have told them everything they’d been through. Which he had in fact told Elton everything that morning he woke up with that hefty hangover

    “I can assure you Nicola, Taron has had nothing but good things to say.” Elton said, even if he knew every single detail of her and Taron’s story.

    “I’m glad.” She replied.

    “Well, we should let you all enjoy the rest of your night. We have an early start tomorrow.” Elton said as he and David stood from the table and made their leave.

    “Bye.” Jasmine said, taking it upon herself to speak for everyone. Elton turned back and smiled at the girl one last time.

    “I like them.” Jasmine announced before shoving a piece of chocolate cake into her mouth. Mikey nodded in agreement.

    “Me too.” He declared. Nicola smiled at them and tried to not let Taron’s words affect her as much as they were.

    ===

    #taronegerton #taron egerton smut #taron x reader #taronegertonimagines#taking chances#Single Father #dad!taron #it'sjustpickles#taron egerton #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton au #taron david egerton #taronegertonxreader#taronegertonxy/n
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  • camellachronicles
    22.05.2022 - 2 days ago

    nostalgia

    It’s one of those instances, where you talk with an old friend of yours. a playlist on shuffle. you talk about life when things were easier. you realize that as life gets bigger, and the grandeur adulthood begins to fade, and you feel as though you’re only a few steps towards your dream, things don’t actually go downhill. As the earth gives, oxygen and sustenance, acquaintances and love, you realise that every moment you get up in the morning, things don’t get harder. Things are just new to you.  That one song, from three years ago plays and you say, “Hey, I loved this song”  You learn to love again. A part of you that once were there is brought to light. You remember to love again. That piano melody hasn’t changed, it’s immortalized.  A moment of you in time, will be there at all times. Life, in all its extremities and wonder, yet finds a way to bring you back.  John Green, I know now what you meant by ‘little infinities’ . I’m there now.

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  • rumi-mathnawi
    20.05.2022 - 4 days ago

    THE MATHNAWI BOOK II STORY II. The Pauper and the Prisoners.

    A certain pauper obtained admittance to a prison, and annoyed the prisoners by eating up all their victuals and leaving them none. At last they made a formal complaint to the Qazi, and prayed him to banish the greedy pauper from the prison. The Qazi summoned the pauper before him, and asked him why he did not go to his own house instead of living on the prisoners. The pauper replied that he had no house or means of livelihood except that supplied by the prison; whereupon the Qazi ordered him to be carried through the city, and proclamation to be made that he was a pauper, that no one might be induced to lend him money or trade with him. Accordingly the attendants sought for a camel whereon to carry him through the city, and at last induced a Kurd who sold firewood to lend his camel for the purpose. The Kurd consented from greed of reward, and the pauper, being seated on the camel, was carried through the city from morning till evening, proclamation being made in Persian, Arabic, and Kurdish that he was a pauper. When evening came the Kurd demanded payment, but the pauper refused to give him anything, observing that if he had kept his ears open he must have heard the proclamation. Thus the Kurd was led by greed to spend the day in useless labor.

    Satan's office in the world.

    The pauper said, "Your beneficence is my sustenance;

    To me, as to aliens, your prison is a paradise.

    If you banish me from your prison in reprobation,

    I must needs die of poverty and affliction."

    Just so Iblis said to Allah, "O have compassion;

    Lord! respite me till the day of resurrection;

    For in this prison of the world I am at oase,

    That I may slay the children of my enemies.

    From every one who has true faith for food,

    And as bread for his provisions by the way,

    I take it away by fraud or deceit,

    So that they raise bitter cries of regret.

    Sometimes I menace them with poverty, 2

    Sometimes I blind their eyes with tresses and moles."

    In this prison the food of true faith is scarce,

    And by the tricks of this dog what there is is lost.

    In spite of prayers and fasts and endless pains,

    Our food is altogether devoured by him.

    Let us seek refuge with Allah from Satan.

    Alas ! we are perishing by his insolence.

    The dog is one, yet he enters a thousand forms; 3

    Whatever he enters straight becomes himself.

    Whatever makes you shiver, know he is in it,

    The Devil is hidden beneath its outward form.

    When he finds no form at hand, he enters your thoughts,

    To cause them to draw you into sin.

    From your thoughts proceeds destruction,

    When from time to time evil thoughts occur to you.

    Sometimes thoughts of pleasure, sometimes of business,

    Sometimes thoughts of science, sometimes of house and home.

    Sometimes thoughts of gain and traffic,

    Sometimes thoughts of merchandise and wealth.

    Sometimes thoughts of money and wives and children,

    Sometimes thoughts of wisdom or of sadness.

    Sometimes thoughts of household goods and fine linen,

    Sometimes thoughts of carpets, sometimes of sweepers.

    Sometimes thoughts of mills, gardens, and villas,

    Sometimes of clouds and mists and jokes and jests.

    Sometimes thoughts of peace and war,

    Sometimes thoughts of honor and disgrace.

    Ah! cast out of your head these vain imaginations,

    Ah! sweep out of your heart these evil suggestions.

    Cry, "There is no power nor strength but in God!"

    To avert the Evil One from the world and your own soul.

    It is the true Beloved who causes all

    outward earthly beauty to exist.

    Whatsoever is perceived by sense He annuls,

    But He establishes that which is hidden from the senses.

    The lover's love is visible, his Beloved hidden.

    The Friend is absent, the distraction he causes present.

    Renounce these affections for outward forms,

    Love depends not on outward form or face.

    Whatever is beloved is not a mere empty form,

    Whether your beloved be of the earth or of heaven.

    Whatever be the form you have fallen in love with,

    Why do you forsake it the moment life leaves it?

    The form is still there; whence, then, this disgust at it?

    Ah! lover, consider well what is really your beloved.

    If a thing perceived by outward senses is the beloved,

    Then all who retain their senses must still love it;

    And since love increases constancy,

    How can constancy fail while form abides? 4

    But the truth is, the sun's beams strike the wall,

    And the wall only reflects that borrowed light.

    Why give your heart to mere stones, O simpleton?

    Go! seek the source of light which shineth always!

    Distinguish well true dawn from false dawn,

    Distinguish the color of the wine from that of the cup;

    So that, instead of many eyes of caprice,

    One eye may be opened through patience and constancy.

    Then you will behold true colors instead of false,

    And precious jewels in lieu of stones.

    But what is a jewel? Nay, you will be an ocean of pearls;

    Yea, a sun that measures the heavens!

    The real Workman is hidden in His workshop,

    Go you into that workshop and see Him face to face.

    Inasmuch as over that Workman His work spreads a curtain,

    You cannot see Him outside His work.

    Since His workshop is the abode of the Wise One,

    Whoso seeks Him without is ignorant of Him.

    Come, then, into His workshop, which is Not-being, 5

    That you may see the Creator and creation at once.

    Whoso has seen how bright is the workshop

    Sees how obscure is the outside of that shop.

    Rebellious Pharaoh set his face towards Being (egoism),

    And was perforce blind to that workshop.

    Perforce he looked for the Divine decree to change,

    And hoped to turn his destiny from his door.

    While destiny at the impotence of that crafty one

    All the while was secretly mocking.

    He slew a hundred thousand guiltless babes

    That the ordinance and decree of Allah might be thwarted.

    That the prophet Moses might not be born alive,

    He committed a thousand murders in the land.

    He did all this, yet Moses was born,

    And was protected against his wrath.

    Had he but seen the Eternal workshop,

    He had refrained hand and foot from these vain devices.

    Within his house was Moses safe and sound,

    While he was killing the babes outside to no purpose.

    Just so the slave of lusts who pampers his body

    Fancies that some other man bears him ill-will;

    Saying this one is my enemy, and this one my foe,

    While it is his own body which is his enemy and foe,

    He is like Pharaoh, and his body is like Moses,

    He runs abroad crying, "where is my foe?"

    While lust is in his house, which is his body,

    He bites his finger in spite against strangers.

    Then follows an anecdote of a man who slew his mother because she was always misconducting herself with strangers, and who excused himself by pleading that if he had not done so he would have been obliged to slay strangers every day, and thus incur blood-guiltiness. Lust is likened to this abandoned mother; when it is once slain, you are at peace with all men. In answer to an objection that if this were so the prophets and saints, who have subdued lust, would not have been hated and oppressed as they were, it is pointed out that they who hated the prophets in reality hated themselves, just as sick men quarrel with the physician or boys with the teacher. Prophets and saints are created to test the dispositions of men, that the good may be severed from the bad. The numerous grades of prophets, of saints, and of holy men are ordained, as so many curtains of the light of God, to tone down its brilliance, and make it visible to all grades of human sight.

    *NOTES:

    1. Koran vii. 13.

    2. Koran ii. 279.

    3. cf. Gulshan i Raz, p. 86.

    4. This couplet exercises both the Turkish and the Lucknow commentators.

    5. i.e., annihilation of self and of all phenomenal being, regarding self as naught in the presence of the Deity.

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