#funny texts Tumblr posts

  • im-fairly-locall
    28.05.2022 - 2 hours ago

    its just frustrating

    #bc truthfully i dont *want* to try to build up relationships from the ground up i dont want to move on i dont want to meet a million newppl #and find a needle in a goddamn haystack who will understand me and be funny and smart and kind and compassionate #i just want what i had #i dont want anything else #but i dont want to be lonely either #and i think i am tbh. i am lonely again and its painful bc i know my friends love me but i want someone to love me specifically #i want someone to love me more tbh. if you can forgive the [redacted] reference #i just miss what i had. even if i dont think i miss them #(even if i do i just know i did a very thorough job burning a bridge that was gonna collapse anyway) #i just liked the satisfaction of it being my fault at the end of the day. bc if its my fault then i win #then im not really rejected. then im not really unwanted and unloved by them. but i am is the thing #and i’ll never send the how are you text and i dont think they’d want me to #i just wish i knew how long i was gonna feel this way
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  • dirtytalk-dirtymemes
    28.05.2022 - 4 hours ago

    dirty memes

    funny dirty memes 

    @dirtytalk-dirtymemes

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  • shetheyslay
    28.05.2022 - 4 hours ago

    Ancient civilisations discover my ancient writings:

    God I hate how hard she slays; but in Friday I’m going to serve her a full 8 course buffet hunty 😂

    #text post#soz #but I hate the gentrification of gay stories #some of us were cunts #and funny cunts #like whole generations of queer talent won
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  • jushiro-ukitake
    28.05.2022 - 5 hours ago

    they call me the number one p*rnbot blocker in the west

    #my texts #the fact that they target my hmc post is. so funny to me
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  • shyjusticewarrior
    28.05.2022 - 6 hours ago
    #i made this #gotham#nygmobblepot#riddlebird#lgbtq+#ed nygma#the riddler#oswald cobblepot#the penguin#queer headcanons #canon queer characters #be gay do crimes #memes #funny text post #ships#shipping#otp#dc#tv#mlm #friends to enemies #enemies to lovers #gotham season 3 #oswald x edward
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  • blue-shirt-on-a-hook
    28.05.2022 - 6 hours ago

    ok i just have made a friend and randomly we're like super close; we've been "friends" for months but all of a sudden we're texting each other constantly and this is so insane??? i like them so much, to the point where i dont dread responding to messages. i actually look forward to sending a text back, it's not even that much effort, really. i cannot stop smiling whenever i think about them and when they asked me my favorite iced tea i told them and they said they weren't going to do anything with this information (therefore implying that they will be buying me iced tea) and i quite literally was jumping for joy. is this what friendship is actually supposed to feel like?

    #i feel like most people's friends make them super happy #but for me having friends has always been this insane effort #i always mess up and don't know what to say #but with this person i haven't fucked up in a way that stops the convo or makes them confused #and this person thinks im funny and fun and im their friend and we're going to go roller skating and buy each other drinks #and play bananagrams #and we talk about gender and dysphoria and everything #and we KEEP TEXTING #AND IM NOT BORED OR TIRED
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  • ratracechronicler
    28.05.2022 - 8 hours ago

    An out-of-context quote that gets me every time I read it:

    Ernest: is that sarcasm?
    Steward: No. It’s 2:02 AM.
    #it hits just like Is this the Krusty Krab? NO THIS IS PATRICK #that absolutely isn't what's happening and Steward has an actual point #but without the text around it to make sense it's just so funny to me #City WIP #combined with Steward's beloved exactitude it's just really nice #this actually comes up around the same point the racoon meme enters the story #good times #I mean. Other than the fact that someone just died. Good times
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  • kvanderquack
    28.05.2022 - 8 hours ago

    In honor of my school being out, here are some things I overheard at my high school this year

    “That’s not very girl boss of you”

    “he looks like he thinks twink is a slur”

    “i don’t know about you but ukuleles are just violins but really gay”

    “do you want to see me drawing [medical version of the world] somebody else’s blood?”

    ‘’Oopsies, he was human”

    “‘proposal, kill them quickly’ thanks bitch I’m trying”

    ‘’I want to glaze my shit… wait-‘’

    ‘’ We’re pulling out- wait- we’re rolling out’’

    ‘’I want multiple hickies’’ ‘’I have multiple hickies’’ from who’’ ‘’myself’’

    ‘’ hold up my titties are fully out’’

    ‘’ did you fuck a vegetable?!’’

    ‘’This is my friend Jacob, his name is red bundy’’

    ‘’The school bible [yearbook] is in my hands’’

    [male teacher, then student] ‘’’Guess what?’ ‘You’re pregnant?’’’

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  • shootgunner
    28.05.2022 - 9 hours ago

    transgender verified. 8 years later

    #woohoo! #the only reason i havent had it as a 'written diagnosis' was bc my gender therapists have been anti-medicalist (?) #is that what youd call it? idk #idk but theyre trans themselves so they were always like 'im not gonna. 'diagnose' you ik youre trans #but i needed it for a medical reason so he finally wrote it for me haha #text#gif #ask 2 tag #i think its funny btw thats why im posting it im not trying to make a statement or anything
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  • stevengrcnt
    27.05.2022 - 10 hours ago

    i got all the shampoo in the world in my bathroom but only a cumshot of conditioner left in every bottle here this is sick

    #just trying to wash my hair and be great #shit post#meme#funny#text post
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  • shyjusticewarrior
    27.05.2022 - 12 hours ago

    I was gonna screenshot a textpost to edit into Gotham memes but the op was an aphobe

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  • dyingroses
    27.05.2022 - 12 hours ago
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  • nerdgirlnarrates
    27.05.2022 - 12 hours ago

    hot take: grey’s anatomy would’ve worked better as a comedy

    #I've been rewatching it recently #and listen: their strongest scenes are the funny group scenes #all the residents at lunch or derek mark and addie talking #the dialogue is great #and I wish they had leaned into that more #and leaned away from death divorce and devastation #more funny stupid drama less life altering and threatening drama #I guess I'm saying a dramedy #but yeah that's what made the show most enjoyable for me #was they had their silly dramas but then they were very funny talking about it #grey's anatomy#my content #my text posts
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  • hwatism
    27.05.2022 - 13 hours ago

    colton for the love of GOD the backup is not more important.

    #text #this is very funny though
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  • monicalinzy
    27.05.2022 - 13 hours ago
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  • bxcuttrz
    27.05.2022 - 14 hours ago
    #the redacted text isnt the funny part
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