Alphabet Improv
Victorious AU; Ted's Tori, Schlatt's Jade & Charlie's Cat
‘So today we’re going to be doing some alphabet improv. What is alphabetical improv you ask.’ Mr. Philza raising his hand in the air like a student would. ‘So I answer. It’s when we give a letter to the first actor who speaks in the scene. If we use the letter A for example.’ Asking for an example from Cooper, ‘Apples are falling out of my butt’
‘Now who wants to lead the first group?’ Ted volunteering, wanting revenge for the previous day’s events. ‘Alright Tori, choose your actors’ Ted walking up the little pedestal-stage area. ‘Traves, Charlie, Cooper & Schlatt’ Schlatt raising an eyebrow, sitting in his seat with arms crossed wanting nothing to do with Ted. ‘Yeah, you.’ Nodding, Schlatt gets up.
‘Schlatt, kiss you partner on your own time.’ Philza uncomfortably passing them, joining the rest of their classmates as an audience member. ‘Oh, I will.’ Schlatt going to stand between Ted & Charlie. ‘If you start your line with the wrong letter—‘ Philza make a buzzer noise ‘—you’re out’
Stomping the chair with his foot, ‘Noah, give us a letter.’ his ventriloquist doll answering for him. ‘P.’ The doll and Noah looking at each other. ‘Oh I was going to say P!’ Moving on with class, ‘Okay the scene can be about anything you want. The first letter of the first line is P. Tori, Action!’
Ted turning towards Schlatt, pointing a finger in his direction, ‘Please go take a shower.’ Schlatt has his hands on his hips in defiance, ‘Quit telling me what to do.’ Cooper stepping in-between Schlatt and Ted. ‘Relax boys, let’s all try to get along.’ It being Charlie’s turn now, ‘Totally!’ resulting in a buzzer noise from Phil. ‘Charlie, your line had to start with an S.’
‘Oh my life’s the worst’ Phil taking a piece of candy from his pocket holding it out towards Charlie. ‘Here’s a piece of candy.’ Charlie running to grab it before sitting down next to Noah. ‘Yay I love candy!’
‘Alright Traves, letter S to you.’ Traves stumbling for a sentence, thinking of what to say, ‘Uh, Somethin’ just bit my toe’ acting as if his foot has an aching pain. Ted pointing to the toe, picturing an invisible turtle. ‘Turtle. That turtle just bit his toe.’ Schlatt waving off Ted, resting his arm on the other, ‘Unbelievable that you’re even here.’ Cooper having an unspoken argument with Schlatt through their eyes but not in a way that would suggest hate sex. ‘Very immature of you to say that.’ It back to being Traves’ turn. ‘Uh…’
‘C’mon Traves, W.’ Phil prompting. ‘What if the turtle bite broke my toe-bone?’ Ted responding, ‘X-rays are the only way to find out’ which led to Schlatt jumping to retaliate, ‘You should shut up.’ Cooper pointing towards Traves’ toe as to deflect. ‘Zap! I just healed your toe with my magic finger.’ Traves acting on reflexes, ‘Thanks!’ Another buzzer noise from Phil. ‘Traves, your line had to start with an A, sit down.’
‘Aw, and I just got my toe-bone fixed,’ his seat in front of Phil’s. Ted as if having an ah-ha moment, ‘Aliens are the only people who can heal toes by finger-zapping.’ Schlatt walking in front of Cooper, blocking him from Ted’s view. ‘By the way,’ Schlatt blows a raspberry in Ted’s face before returning back to where he was standing, leaning against the wall. ‘Correct, I am an alien.’
Gasping, ‘Don’t hurt me, please!’ placing a hand against his chest, a vulnerable position. ‘Even though he’s extremely annoying.’ Cooper falling to the floor, acting short of breath. ‘Fainting because I can’t breathe your Earth’s air.’ Leaving the scene to Schlatt and Ted bickering. ‘Gosh it fainted.’ Phil, clapping his hands together, ‘Excellent! Ted & Schlatt, keep going, the next letter’s H.’ Schlatt with a pretend pair of binoculars ‘Hey, why don’t you go jump off that cliff over there?’ Ted clasping his hands, I think you should.’
‘Just where did you think you come from?’ ‘Kangaroos.’ Schlatt walking past Ted, ‘Lousy animals, kangaroos, they’re awkward and dirty.’ This making Ted turn around to face him, ‘Maybe they learned from you.’ The class intrigued as no one really stands up Schlatt. ‘No one talks to me like that.' Going along with the assignment but ultimately becoming more frustrated with Ted. ‘Obviously someone should.’
‘Please jump in front of a bus.’ ‘Quite obnoxious of you to say’ ‘Really?’ ‘Sure was’ Their responses increasing in pace, now back and forth quips. ‘Thanks,’ Schlatt elongating the word. ‘Up your nose, I see boogers’ Ted titling his head, correcting his posture to be taller than Schlatt. ‘Very clever.’ With a smirk, ‘Wish you’d thought of it?’
‘X marks the spot I’d like to punch.’
‘Your finger smells weird’ Ted now starting to struggle. ‘Zero is what you are on a scale of one to ten.’ Now devolving to insults. Phil reminding them of their letter position once more as they returned to the beginning of the alphabet. The two creating some distance between each other, the tension in the air palpable. ‘As if I care what you thing,’ the sentiment untrue as of yesterday’s events when they first met. ‘Better watch yourself.’
‘Can’t take it?’ Ted licking his lips after making sure to be cockier than ever. This ultimately being payback on his part for the spilt coffee. ‘Don’t push me!’
‘Eat your pants!’
‘You eat your pants! Wait!’ Schlatt messing up the order as the next letter was ‘F I know!’ Stomping away to his seat. ‘Keep the scene going, letter G’ Cooper lifting himself off the ground with the vague help of Ted. ‘Get up alien’ clasping a hand around his arm. ‘Head, feels dizzy’
‘I know what will make you feel better’ Schlatt’s eyes opening wide at that, thinking he was going to kiss him, his boyfriend. Cooper confused, ‘Jumping jacks?’ Ted next words, ‘Kiss me’ made Schlatt to sit up in his seat. ‘Let’s do it’ Schlatt mouth agape at seeing them kiss.
‘Man, I love this school.’
