I love you. Three fucking words that is very hard to say to another. It's too overrated to some, but too corny to others. More powers to you if you're not shy to say it directly with your parents. Couldn't even say it to the person I love. But hey! Be true to yourself. Express your feelings now before it's too late.
— Fynsie
instagram is really nice!!! bc you post every (♾) day and then you don't post for one (1) day and your next post reaches four (4) people!!!!
Ngl tumblr feels so dead right now, that posts with comments usually look like ads. Since ads tried to aim for "realism" in this platform, I cannot recognize a real user chat or just a thread of "comments" on a sunrise/starry roof/small shitty projector ad on the platform.
And I am guilty of it too, I mostly get in, see cute/cool stuff, reblog. No comment on anything. Communities are hella dead too. Wish I was here earlier to experience the true tumblr before Yahoo killed it.
And no I don't mean the porn part (maybe I do idk)
I’m gonna make videos talking about shows, movies, comics, books, and other things I love, hate, despise, other emotions.
I do want to make art lesson videos but at the moment, sadly, I do not think I am ready to do that.
This is how I envision myself doing the art lesson videos. But I am a very reserved person plus my house, not only is it small, but crowded at the moment. When I get proper gears to make art lesson videos I’ll do it.
I’ve tried to make art lessons by recording the paper, recording myself drawing, doing a voice over, but it just does not feel right. It felt janky and that is why I did not release the art lesson video. It was too rambly and not very simple to follow.
So again, I’m sorry that the art lesson videos are not coming out at anytime.
I do want to be honest, as someone who is very reserved, I have a lot of energy and I think using that energy that I have when making the art lessons video will not only be fun to do, but it will increase the chances of people actually paying attention. Like my HS teacher told our class once.
“If I stand still, look at the white board all day and ramble about the lesson. Non of you will remember it. Even if you make a note about it. You won’t be able to remember it because it was that boring.”
Thank you for understanding and wish me luck in hoping I actually follow through with this plan ♥️
just got done w/ jacob’s eulogy and my god... the contrast between his and faiths compared to john’s... i could cry lmao. the lack of emotion when john, out of EVERYONE believed joseph the most. he did everything for joseph. he sacrificed everything he had for him and his vision and it was never enough, even at the end :’)
Blue was supposed to help.
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It was something that Wilbur started carrying around for himself, even if people didn't really think about it much until Ghostbur brought it up. A way to process an overwhelming amount of negative emotions, and get it out of the way of actually productive thoughts. If it wasn't something that could be dealt with, it had to be set aside, or Wilbur would be spending all of his time curled up in bed, unable to move. And he already spent too much time doing that.
But if Blue helped him, Wilbur thought to himself, then it could help other people. He wasn't the only person dealing with sad things. So he offered it to his friends, a way to soak up the excess of bad vibes and get rid of them easily. A temporary solution to long-term problems.
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Most people remember Blue as Ghostbur's thing - perhaps because they were more open about being sad around him than around Wilbur. They were afraid around Wilbur, they were angry around Wilbur, but it often was not the right time or place to be sad around him. And because Ghostbur didn't like people being sad, so he always tried to help. He wasn't a sad person, even if he did come from sad circumstances. Neither of them would tell anyone where they got it from. It was their special thing, their way to help.
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The thing is, Blue isn't supposed to be Blue. Or at least, it wasn't supposed to start that way. Blue is clear, and fills up with color as it fills up with sad thoughts. It shows how soon you need to think of getting rid of it and getting a new piece, because even a mystical negativity-draining substance has limits to how much it can do. The bluer the Blue, the more full it was - like a sponge soaked in water.
But all of the Blue that Wilbur and Ghostbur handed out was already at least the shade of lapis lazuli by the time they handed it off to anyone else. There was already a lot of sadness in it, simply from then reaching into their pocket to hand it over - the sorrow seeped in through their fingertips. Anyone else could only get a little bit of use out of it before it was full.
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And maybe Blue was supposed to be a placebo. Something that let you pretend that all of your bad thoughts were getting sucked away, and could be tossed away or burned or simply gotten rid of in the moment. A way of clearing one's mind, more than magic. The kind of trick you use to get a child to stop crying and calm down. But Wilbur and Ghostbur always treated it like it was supposed to change things. Like it was supposed to have real power.
And the more they used it, the more it stopped being a temporary solution, and started being their only solution. Ghostbur started getting frustrated when he would toss out whole handfuls of Blue and still feel sad. The bad emotions were filling him back up as quickly as he could drain them. Blue was never meant to deal with the root of the problem, only the symptoms.
But no one was dealing with the root of their problems. They would look at the blue, and watch its color deepen only a few shades before stopping. Already full, and they didn't feel better. They would toss it on the ground, staring at a physical manifestation of their melancholy. There were too many things to be sad about.
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Blue was supposed to help. It didn’t, really.
i personally see james as a very affectionate person, but anxiously attached as well. having such a weird upbringing with his mum and the thing with his stepdad, all of that gnaws at attachment styles and ability to form attachments and he’s not exactly welcomed happily when he arrives in derry. he makes himself smaller around people on instinct, how he hunches around his mum and always has a bit of a sunken chest because he’s just slouching so much.
and on the opposite, erin isn’t afraid of affection but she’s not the cuddliest person and michelle’s thorny and clare’s a lesbian and james just won’t invade her space like that, and orla is.... well, orla, so erin just is the person james feels any semblance of comfort with giving and receiving affection. a friendly pat on the shoulder. a hand on his back. leaning into each other’s space, holding onto each other tight in the back of a police van - there’s subtly in growing to be comfortable with affection around each other, an ease at knowing the other person isn’t going to move away from you when you move in close.
and when they start dating, erin learns to love a good cuddle, but only if she’s the pillow for james, and james learns to know that erin’s affection is there always, no matter what he’s done or how her mood is. he doesn’t have to guess if she will hold his hand, pat him on the back, touch his hair. she will, even when she’s mad, and he’ll give her space when she needs it, and james learns to be and feel loved.
The way I see it, the Stars were playing with house money since winning game 2. The fact that they even got to a game 7 is more than I could have ever expected.
Man, I'm just hoping Fang gets a dog in season 2
Oh no I was supposed to be able to see the eclipse but it's so cloudy 😭😭
the fact that Soma's mental health was apparently in absolute shambles during the entirety of DoS makes the ending scene where Arikado tells him to surround himself with people he loves instead of running away hit so much harder
Just almost cried because I couldn't afford to get a pizza to split with hubby. 🙃
While I've been told all day by someone in their late fifties to early sixties that I need to "put on my big girl panties" because success won't be handed to me, but I've been looking for work for months now and been continuously told no, and my last job legit fired me because they weren't willing to accommodate for my mental health disorder that I had documents for with my official diagnosis. 🙃🙃🙃
Things like this are why I haven't been working on my fics, and why I keep seeking out comfort writing, and comfort videos. Why at the end of the day, instead of writing anything, I'm laying in bed playing fucking dress-up games as a 28 year old woman. Why I will load up Animal Crossing just to sit there in game and do nothing, because it makes me feel better sometimes.
It's why I sometimes wish that I hadn't come to exist. How can I expect my husband to work when he is worse off than I am? But then I fail at jobs, and fail even harder in finding new ones, and have people like THAT talking at me when they haven't known me since I was very small; all they know is what they see me post on social media, and most of it consists of memes. 😐
Not doing so hot tonight. At all. Maybe I should have watched Steel Magnolias. I'm starting to suspect that I do, in fact, need a good cry.
