Hire prices

Okay the privatised engine book is fantastic, it's sort of a satire/parody of Thomas the Tank Engine but aimed at adults.

Private Eye is essentially poking fun at the privatisation of railways, the stories in it are legit good...

Accidentally bought satire, ended up loving it.

10/10 purchase, and the fat controller trying to avoid paying a £1 for Thomas feels accurate anyway.

Secondhand book sites really do put some weird books in the children's section. But I can't complain. The contents are a little political, a bit dodgy and certainly questionable.

But thats what Private Eye is about.

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers T-Shirt is $14 today at RIPT! See Rangerz T-Shirt on the Shirt List.

It’s MILFmura May, as is tradition.

Sudden inspiration 2 draw a naked gamergirl chilling n vibin on her day off in only socks and playin biddy games on some comfy blankets. Bcos thats what its all about

elon, my friend, what is possessing you to think that the people who love you most are hating you? i can feel your pain. i’m so sorry your brain is being so unkind to you right now. - 🚀

Because it's true, people get tired of me eventually and they leave, they cut the ties and leave me stranded. I don't blame them. I make them hate me because I am me, and I can't change no matter how hard I try. It's better off for them. Nobody should feel this pain.

elon dearie would you like to go to the park maybe? pop down to a bodega and get a sandwich?

Don't feel like going to the park. People will stare and whisper things, I know they will because they want to. Same with the Bodega. They hardly tolerate me. Just like Ohio. Like Florida.

How's the dreams been going Mr. Lemon Tree. Feel free to ignore this, I'm just not really all caught up :X

Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

Cass Milligan in The 12 Dancing Princesses (Barbie in The 12 Dancing Princesses Casting)

The original can be found Here.

Bulma as Ashlyn (Dragon Ball Z)

Luisa as Blair (Encanto)

Belle as Courtney (Beauty and The Beast)

Peach as Delia (Mario)

Daisy as Edeline (Mario)

Marinette as Fallon (Miraculous Ladybug)

Cass Milligan as Genevieve (Balan Wonderworld)

Callie as Hadley (Splatoon)

Marie as Isla (Splatoon)

Lily as Janessa (Animal Crossing)

Judy as Kathleen (Animal Crossing)

Molly as Lacey (Animal Crossing)

Attilio Caccini as Derek (Balan Wonderworld)

King Harkinian as King Randolph (CDI Zelda)

Cyllene as Queen Isabella (Pokemon Legends: Arceus)

Purrla as Twyla (Balan Wonderworld)

Princess Marey as Herself/Derek’s Sister Figure (Balan Wonderworld)

Chatot as Felix (Pokemon)

Dark Enchantress Cookie as Duchess Rowena (Cookie Run)

Licorice Cookie as Desmond (Cookie Run)

Bat Cat as Brutus (Cookie Run)

Poison Mushroom Cookie, Dark Choco Cookie, and Pomegranate Cookie as Themselves/Rowena’s Associates (Cookie Run)

Toadsworth as The Messenger (Mario)

Just as always, here’s your hint for the next Casting (It’s Dreamworks):

🦸‍♂️🤣🪠

@imagine-darksiders but only if I get to name a cow Sir Furtherwinston Fettenbarry of Westfirst Wisleminster Shadwood Castle, third earl of Yorkshire Forest Woodenlakister Puddingham

rescue rangers is downright disrespectful they made bobby driscoll, the kid they abused by multiple members of disney, into a literal villain via an adult peter pan

YEAH, i saw that post it is genuinely sickening

📜 📜 one for each hibi, hit me with anything

making a wishlist like it's christmas

Two movies I am a bitch for and I want them in my muses lives so much, so desperately, I think about it more often than I wish to admit. Titanic and Grease. CLASSICS. CLASSIC FILMS. Good love stories. That star crossed lovers shit, that's good shit. You know Hibi is Sandy. That dumb bitch that's like "they're a punk/jock but they're so sweet and kind and I can change them." Meanwhile they're all like "yeah we fucked under the docks." Oh it'd be so fun.

Titanic too though. Jesus. Like that's barely an AU, these two would fall so easily for someone in that case scenario. Do they all die at the end? maybe so. but don't we all.

Guys! I’m in this! A lot of time, love, and effort went into its making. Give the TAN team some love, and everyone who had a hand in it. It was an absolute pleasure.

It premieres May 28! Be there. Or not. :) 💙💙

Mr. Smith #13: Psychology Class

It was a beatiful June day, close to the end of the accelerated semester for Mr. Smith’s psychology class. Mr. Smith and his friends waddled across campus on their way to class, because Philip claimed it “looked cooler to walk like ducks.” Mr. Smith wasn’t sure ducks even waddled- he was pretty sure they hopped and ate carrots. But he still followed Philip’s lead.

Today Mr. Smith and his friends had to present their group project for psychology. They had to write an essay on mental health in contemporary society, and make a powerpoint explaining the main points.

Mr. Smith waited outside his class with his friends, early probably for the first time in his life. Three students approached the class. Mr. Smith gasped. “Look!” He shouted to Philip. “It’s the GAY GENIUSES! And that other person! Help! Don’t let them see me!” He cowered behind Philip.

Philip did a double take. “Leo and Ritchie? Oh shit! You hide me!” Philip ran behind Mr. Smith. They spent several moments running behind each other, until finally Alex, Leo and Ritchie reached the classroom.

“What are you idiots doing?!” Asked Ritchie.

Mr. Smith pulled his hat over his eyes. “Help! He’s smarter than me!”

Leo rolled his eyes. “You’re a total moron. Please get out of the way, you’re blocking the door.”

Mr. Smith planted his feet firmly in the ground. “No! I refuse to be condescended to by someone smarter than me!”

The professor approached the door. “Mr. Smith, you’re blocking the entrance,”

“I’m not Mr. Smith, I’m Christopher Columbus.” Mr. Smith said, his hat covering his face.

“Christopher Columbus is dead,” Said Leo.

“I’m not dead, I’m immoral,” Said Mr. Smith.

“I think you mean immortal,” Said Leo.

“I don’t know what that is,” Mr. Smith scratched his head in bewilderment, lowering his hat.

“If you’re Christopher Columbus, why do you look exactly like Mr. Smith?” Asked Alex.

“I got rhinocerous- plasty,” Said Mr. Smith. “To look exactly like Mr. Smith, my best friend.”

“I think you mean rhinoplasty, and that is just a nose job.” Leo said.

“What is a nose?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“Please move out of the way, Mr. Smith,” Said the professor.

“No, not until you admit I’m Christopher Columbus,” Said Mr. Smith, stamping his foot.

“Fine, Christopher Columbus. Please step aside.”

“Ok,” Said Mr. Smith, moving out of the way.

They all entered the classroom, and Mr. Smith and his seven friends all went to the front of the room to begin their presentation. Frankie began, “Our presentation is on the government conspiracy of mental illness and mental health.”

Leo raised his hand.

“Yes, devil spawn?” Mr. Smith asked.

“Mental health is NOT a conspiracy! Mental illness is a legitimate issue in modern day society.” Leo said.

“What does modern mean?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“Mr. Smith, please continue your presentation.”

“Mental illness was invented by the government to press the poor. That way the government can increase social inequality and conquer Jupiter,” Bob explained.

“Don’t you mean ‘oppress’?” Asked Ritchie. Mr. Smith shushed him.

“Jupiter is a gaseous planet. How could it be conquered? It can’t support life,” Alex said.

“They don’t have gasoline on Jupiter, they only use solar powered cars,” Said Philip.

“Jupiter is ruled by my kind, the kitty cat Jupitan race. The government wants to take it over and liberate the cats from their kitty overlords.” Kitty explained.

“Rules are annoy-ing,” Said Susan. “I had to follow rules in high school and when I didn’t, I would get suspended. I messed up the plumbing at my high school on purpose and flooded it, and I got expelled. It was annoy-ing.”

Amy gasped. “So annoy-ing! That happened to me too!”

“You’re seriously unintelligent,” Said Leo.

“Shut up, devil spawn! We did a lot of hard work for this presentation! We read TWO of my father’s wikipedia articles!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot.

“Please continue your presentation,” The professor said.

Simon then suddenly burst into tears. “What’s wrong?” Asked the professor.

“That girl in the front keeps laughing at our presentation. I have to go cry in the bathroom now!” Simon ran out of the room.

“Anyway, mental illnesses must not be real, because a lot of them are big words. The government just wants to confuse us,” Said Mr. Smith. “Now we will explain why some of these so called illnesses are not real.”

Philip clicked a button on his remote and said, “Depression is really hard to spell. I can never remember if it’s one or two s’s. If it’s that confusing, it doesn’t exist.”

Philip clicked another button. “Another one is antisocial personality disorder. This means someone who is shy. I found a WebMD article that had too many words to read them all, so it must not exist.”

Bob added, “The government wants to distract us from its mission to conquer Jupiter. If we all unite to overthrow the government, the kitty cats will be able to live in peace. That is the end of our presentation, because even the wikipedia articles had too many words to read them all- two paragraphs each.”

The professor addressed the group. “You have put no effort into your work. You scored a zero.”

Mr. Smith grabbed the remote from Philip’s hand and threw it across the room. Then he knocked over the projector, and ran over to a student near the window. He picked up the student and yelled, “Out the window you go!” but couldn’t hold his weight and they both collapsed to the floor. “Help!” Mr. Smith yelled. The student climbed off and Mr. Smith tried to get to his feet, but forgot how to get up. He crawled around on the ground for several minutes, then grabbed a desk to hoist himself up, but each time it slipped from his grasp and he fell. “Help! I look so stupid!” He yelled.

Finally, someone helped Mr. Smith to his feet. “I look so stupid! This is YOUR fault!” He pointed at the professor. “And it’s BOTH OF YOUR FAULTS!” He pointed at Leo and Ritchie. “I quit!” Then he ran from the room, but forgot how to open the door and crashed into it several times before Philip opened it. “Goodbye, you stuck up pretentious assholes!” He yelled, and then ran away and changed his major to math.

Fin.

***

Mr. Smith #11: Mr. Smith Goes To The Movies

It was a beautiful Saturday in June, and Mr. Smith and his friends decided to go to the movies. Mr. Smith was failing his Sociology classes at University and needed a distraction- apparently three sentences about why Mr. Smith was a true genius wasn’t considered an essay, so Mr. Smith currently had a 2% in Sociology of Education.

Anyway, Mr. Smith’s friends were on their way to the movies, and they were already late because Simon kept getting lost even though the theater was five minutes from Mr. Smith’s parents’ house. Simon swerved in and out of both lanes randomly- he had forgotten how to drive. Then Philip noticed something on the side of the road.

“Look at that!” Philip cried out. He pointed to a pretty girl riding a bike.

“What?!” Asked Simon, taking his eyes off the road.

“Keep your eyes on the road, you moron!” Yelled Kitty, Mr. Smith’s best friend from the puppy farm. “You’re a stuck up rich dick! I should have this car!”

“Simon’s not rich,” Said Amy to the man. “He gets paid minimum wage.”

“What’s minimum wage?” Asked Kitty. “All I know is, he makes more than me and it’s not fair! I should make that much! America is the land of dreams! I graduated kindergarten, I should be living in a mansion in the Caribbean right now! I want a house that has six rooms!”

“That’s not a mansion,” Said Philip.

“My house is a box!” Yelled Kitty. “It’s a mansion to me!”

“You live in your parents’ house,” Said Susan. “You just sleep in a box in your parents’ living room because you have a cat’s name.”

“Sometimes I play with yarn when I can’t sleep,” Said Kitty. “It calms me.”

“That’s not related,” Said Mr. Smith. “You’re dumb.”

“If Mr. Smith knows you’re dumb, you know you’re stupid,” Said Amy.

“What does stupid mean, and what is a Mr. Smith? I only know Petunia.” Kitty replied.

“Shh! I’M Mr. Smith!” Yelled Mr. Smith, pounding his fist on the back of Philip’s chair.

“Look!” Yelled Philip again, pointing to the side of the road, where a turkey vulture was consuming a dead possum carcass. Mr. Smith gasped.

“It’s a phoenix!” Mr. Smith took a picture of it with his phone camera. “I have to tell the ornithology journals about this! I didn’t know they ate dead things!”

Simon peered at the side of the road. “No, that’s a yellowbird,”

Mr. Smith gasped. “How dare you question my expertise! It’s a blue phoenix!”

After fifteen minutes, they arrived at the movie theater to see a Horror movie about ghosts the day after it came out. They were, of course, late after Mr. Smith and his friends pulled over on the side of the road so Mr. Smith could pet the “phoenix,” which almost bit him before he ran away screaming like “a six year old girl” in Philip’s words.

As Mr. Smith and his friends walked through the theater, there was a jump scare and Mr. Smith yelled, “Oh no! Run away, don’t let the scary ghost get you!” Everyone in the front row where Mr. Smith and his friends were to be sitting whipped their heads around. Mr. Smith gasped. “Oh no! It’s YOU! The gay geniuses! Again! What are YOU doing at MY movie theater?!”

Leo sighed. “We just came to see a movie.”

Mr. Smith saw they were holding hands. “You two are awfully close friends! Why do you hold hands while watching a movie?”

Ritchie rolled his eyes. “We’re dating you idiot.”

Leo added, “We’ve been through this before.”

Mr. Smith gasped. “YOU’RE GAY! Two boys CAN’T date! Right, Kitty?” Mr. Smith turned to his best friend.

Kitty looked Leo and Ritchie up and down. “You’re wearing very expensive clothes. Can you be gay AND rich? Is that legal?”

“You can be gay and rich, dipshit,” Ritchie said.

“No you can’t!” Yelled Kitty. “It’s NOT FAIR! I should be rich! I I’m HOMELESS!”

“Again, you live in box in your parents’ living room because they gave you a cat’s name,” Said Simon.

“Close enough,” Said Kitty.

“You don’t even know us. How can you judge us?” Asked Leo.

“Mr. Smith told me all about you, Leo and… and… and…” Kitty paused, unsure of himself.

“Are you ok?” Asked Ritchie.

“No, I’m Kitty.” Said Kitty.

“He’s asking you if you need help,” Said Leo.

“You think you’re so smart because you’re richer than me,” Said Kitty. “I could be rich if I wanted to. I could be a rich entrepeneur, and you’d have no idea!”

“You have beer stains all over your shirt, if you were a rich entrepreneur you’d pay someone to wash it.” Said Leo.

“I don’t believe in hiring a maid, I believe in hard work as part of the American dream,” Said Kitty.

“Is that why you live in a cardboard box?” Asked Ritchie.

“I pay rent to live in that box- twenty dollars a month!” Kitty yelled.

“Why don’t you wash your shirt yourself?” Leo asked.

“I don’t know how to turn on the washing machine,” Said Kitty. “And water scares me, because of my name.”

“Oh my God, you’re a moron. I bet you flunked out of school,” Said Leo.

“I made it out of Kindergarten, then I joined the puppy farm Elementary School equivalency program where I later met Mr. Smith,” Said Kitty. “I made it to college, where my GPA was incredible, top of my class.”

“It was lower than mine. I had a 1.1 GPA and yours was -4,” Said Mr. Smith.

“The professors didn’t like that I kept doodling pictures of myself as a cat at the puppy farm on all of my tests, and the answers were wrong already, so I kept getting negative scores in all my classes.” Kitty explained.

“Oh my God,” Said Leo.

“You’re even more stupid than Mr. Smith!” Ritchie exclaimed.

“Shut up, devil spawn!” Yelled Mr. Smith. “I’m tired of your crap! I’m going to prove my 1000 level IQ once and for all!” Mr. Smith and his friends ran to the back of the theater, and Mr. Smith punched the man in charge of playing the film. Then Mr. Smith took his favorite home video, that he always had on him in case he ever needed to “prove his intelligence.” He had Simon play the movie after twenty minutes of trying to figure out how, and then ran back inside the theater to see how Leo and Ritchie reacted.

Mr. Smith took his seat next to Kitty, who was finally quiet after being shushed several times for yelling at Leo and Ritchie for being richer than him. The home movie began to play, displaying an eight year old Mr. Smith playing with puppies on the puppy farm as they mewed. “Would you like your own puppy, Petunia?”

“Puppy?” Asked Ritchie. “Those are kittens!”

Mr. Smith began mouthing words no one could hear and motioning with his hands. Then he began to count on his fingers, and then scratched his head for several minutes. “Oh I know! Puppies and kittens both make sounds, so you think they’re the same thing. They’re different. Kittens have shells and green skin. They go ‘mooo’ like this.”

“You mean TURTLES. And they most certainly do not moo!” Leo exclaimed in frustration.

“Turtles have fur and live in a petting zoo,” Said Mr. Smith. “Like I told you during your IQ test that you failed. Don’t you remember?”

“I remember, oh my God,” Said Leo. “You are all literally stupid!”

“I never litter!” Exclaimed Philip. “That was my twin doing community service for littering!”

“You don’t have a twin,” Said Amy.

“Sure I do. Simon is my twin!” Philip exclaimed.

“We’re not twins!” Yelled Simon. Philip shushed him.

“You’re two years apart, and you look nothing alike. You’re a brunette and Simon is blonde.” Said Susan.

“What is a brunette?” Asked Philip. “Is it a type of bread?”

“That’s a French baguette! You’re literally so stupid! And no, I do not mean that you litter, but it sounds like you do!” Leo snapped.

“My mother has a french baguette. She keeps all her money in there,” Said Mr. Smith.

“I give up. You’re all hopeless idiots!” Leo exclaimed.

“Shh! Watch me prove my intelligence!” Yelled Mr. Smith.

On screen, Mr. Smith continued to play with the “puppies.” Mr. Smith’s father said, “Now, Petunia, how many puppies do you see?”

Mr. Smith looked around the room in a panic. “I don’t know, Daddy,” He said.

“I’ll help you,” His Dad said. He touched each puppy’s head. “One, three, seven, sixty two, four, five. Five puppies.”

Eight year old Mr. Smith scratched his head, then began to mouth words while gesturing to the puppies. “That’s too many for me to count.”

“Alright, Petunia. That’s ok. Let’s move on to reading. Did you read my specialized copy of Hamlet for children?”

Mr. Smith covered his mouth with his hand and then began to gesture again. “No-o,” He said. “It was too big. Three pages long!”

“I’ll just tell you what happens. Hamlet and his friends Bob and Jonathan travel to the magical land of Narnia only to realize they’re too old and are sent back. Then Hamlet and his friends go to the zoo where they free all of the animals, and they have to go into hiding to avoid the police.”

Mr. Smith’s eyes widened. “Wow, that’s so cool Daddy!”

“Next is science. What is Physics the study of?”

“Dead bodies! Like the ones you keep in your refridgerator!” Mr. Smith answered excitedly.

“Good job!” Exclaimed his father.

“Yay! I’m a genius!”

“You most certainly are,” Said Mr. Smith’s father.

“Yay!” Yelled Mr. Smith, clapping his hands.

“Finally we’ll do history. How was the puppy farm able to teach freedom of thought and imagination?” Mr. Smith’s father asked.

“Because you stuck it to the man!” Yelled Mr. Smith.

“That’s right. My great grandfather found out that the president was selling objects from the white house on the black market, so he threatened to tell the entire planet if the government didn’t pass a law that the puppy farm is untouchable. It was the only way to avoid a scandal.” He explained.

“Oh, so cool Daddy!” Yelled Mr. Smith.

The movie shut off then, and guards came into the theater and flanked Mr. Smith and his friends. “Are you responsible for hijacking this movie?”

Mr. Smith covered his face with his hands. “No-o?” He answered uncertainly.

“You’ll have to come with us,” Said the security guard.

“I just wanted to prove my intelligence! That’s not fair!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot. Then he grabbed Kitty’s popcorn and threw it up in the air, popcorn flying everywhere. He grabbed Leo’s drink. “Hey!” Leo protested. Mr. Smith dumped the drink over one of the guards’ heads. Then he picked Simon up over his shoulders and threw him at the movie screen, yelling, “Take that! My movie was better!” Finally the guards handcuffed him and took them all out, while Mr. Smith screamed at Leo and Ritchie, “You know I’m smarter! My movie proves it! You’ll see!” Then he broke free of the guards, along with his friends. “You’ll never take us alive!” And they ran all the way to Simon’s car and back home to study for an upcoming Sociology test, which Mr. Smith knew he would not fail- he’d learned all about Sociology at the puppy farm.

Fin.

***

Yeah, I know that's strange idea, but........

Introducing Power Rangers Glam!

(Fnaf security breach x Power Rangers)

(T)raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1, 2004.

Dir. Michael Bully Herbig | Writ. Michael Bully Herbig, Alfons Biedermann & Rick Kavanian | DOP Stephan Schuh

Take me Home, Country Roads: Mario addition

Mama-mia, mushroom kingdom, peaches castle, wide wide river, life is old there, older than the shrooms

Country roads, take me-a-homeee, it's-a-meee, MARIO, mama-mia, princess peach-a, rainbow road, Marioooo

All his memories, gather round her, Luigi's lady, stranger to Lord Bowser, dark and dusty, sailing through the sky, warm taste of mushroom, teardrop in his eye

Country roads, take me-a-homeee, it's-a-meee MARIO, mama-mia princess peach-a, rainbow road, Marioooo

He hears her voice, in the morning hour, Lord Bowser demands $2000 ransome, racing rainbow road, he's got-a this feeling, that she's in trouble

Country roads, take me-a-homeee, it's-a-meee MARIO, mama-mia, princess peach-a, rainbow road, Marioooo

I feel like I should mention that this took a lot of time and is drastically inaccurate

Mr. Smith #8: CVS Pharmacy

After getting fired (again) from Great Adventure, Mr. Smith and his friends landed a job at CVS Pharmacy. Mr. Smith stood at the counter, trying to decide how to help his first customer.

“What was it you needed again?” Mr. Smith asked the man.

“I have a prescription for some anti- depressants, I’ve been feeling sort of down lately,” The man said.

“No, no. I know what you need,” Mr. Smith pulled out an open, half finished bag of cough drops and handed them to his customer. “Cough drops always make me feel better when I’m sad. They work for Simon and Philip, too.”

The man looked confused. “How will this help me with my depression?”

“What’s depression?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“You don’t know what depression is and you’re working at a pharmacy?” Asked the customer.

Philip came out from the back room. “I’m the manager. Is there a problem here?!” He asked.

“I’m trying to get some medications here, and he’s trying to give me a half empty bag of cough drops!” The customer explained.

Philip took the cough drops and inspected them. “Hm, these look alright to me. This certainly helps me with my depression. It should work for you too.”

The man stormed off in an angry huff, the door slamming behind him. Amy and Susan appeared from the back. “I don’t get why he’s mad. I LOVE cough drops,” Amy said.

“People get mad at me sometimes too,” Susan said. “When I was in high school the teacher got mad at me for cheating on all my tests. It was annoy-ing.”

“That IS annoying!” Amy exclaimed. “People get mad at me here for losing their prescriptions within five minutes of giving them to me!”

“Oh my God, that’s annoying too!” Susan exclaimed. They high fived each other.

Simon then came back from the bathroom where he’d clearly been crying. “What’s wrong?” Asked Amy.

“I keep getting lost on the way from the bathroom to the front of the store, and it’s really scary!” Simon explained. “This is the tenth time it’s happened today!”

“You’re weird, the store has like five rooms total, and we’ve only been working for two hours.” Susan said, and Simon burst into tears.

“I’m going to go cry some more in the bathroom if I can find it!” Simon sobbed, running out of the room.

The door chimed, and two teenagers walked in. Mr. Smith gasped. “Leo and Richard! My arch nemeses! How dare you come to my terf AGAIN!”

“Oh Jesus,” swore Leo. “How is it you’re always wherever we go?”

“YOU’RE wherever I go!” Mr. Smith yelled. “The bane of my existence! The teenage gay geniuses! Why can’t you be stupid so I don’t have to feel insecure?!”

“We’d just like to pick up a prescription,” Leo said.

“Can you handle that, Mr. Smith? Just one prescription and we’re gone,” Ritchie said.

“I just need some allergy medications. I have a bit of a cold,” Leo explained. Leo sneezed and then took out a tissue, wiping his nose and throwing it in a nearby trash bin. “I’m hoping to feel better before my psychology test at the end of the week.”

Mr. Smith scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Ok,” He said.

“That’s it?” Asked Leo. “No, “I don’t like you!” or “I refuse to help someone smarter than me!” You’re going to actually help us?”

“Ye-s.” Mr. Smith said. “I’ll be back.” Mr. Smith came back a few minutes later with anti- depressants. “These should do the trick.”

“These are anti- depressants,” Leo said upon seeing the name of the drugs.

“You’ll feel better by your test,” Said Philip.

“But I don’t have depression,” Leo said shortly.

“Well, I always feel better after taking those.”

“You have depression?” Asked Leo.

“No, I just like taking them after I sneak them out of the pharmacy,” Philip said.

“We steal drugs from here too,” Said Amy.

“I used to steal drugs in high school,” Susan said. “But they were my drug dealer’s, not from a pharmacy.”

“Me too!” Amy exclaimed, and they high fived each other.

“Please just give me cold medications,” Leo said. “I’m really sick.”

“Yes, please stop wasting our time,” Ritchie said. “Just give Leo his medications or I’ll talk to your manager.”

“I’m the manger here,” Philip said, stepping forward.

“Are mangers smart?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“Ideally,” Said Leo.

“Then I’M the manager here,” Mr. Smith said, stepping forward.

“No, Mr. Smith, you’re too stupid to be the manager,” Said Philip. “I’M the manager here.”

The door chimed, and in came a medium height brown haired boy. “Oh!” Exclaimed Leo. “Hi Alex!” Leo sneezed.

“Hey,” Ritchie nodded to his friend.

“Hello, Leo and Ritchie,” Said Alex. “I just came to pick up my testosterone pills.”

“What’s testosterone?” Asked Mr. Smith. “Is it a cough medicine?”

“No,” Alex said. “It’s to help give me more masculine traits through hormonal treatment.”

“Those were a lot of big words,” Philip said.

“So you’re transgender?” Asked Amy. “You’re transitioning to male?”

“Wait,” Mr. Smith said. “You’re transgender? That makes no sense. You can’t be anything but what you’re born,”

“But your name is Petunia,” Said Ritchie.

“Yeah,” Said Leo. “You’re criticisizing Alex for not being your idea of a man, but you have a woman’s name!” Leo sneezed again.

“Your name is Petunia?” Alex laughed. “That’s embarrassing!”

“Shut up, devil spawn!” Mr. Smith yelled, pounding his fist on the counter.

The manager finally came out from the back. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh thank God,” Said Leo. “Are you the manager?”

“I’M the manager,” Philip said.

“No, I am!” Mr. Smith interjected.

Simon finally returned from the bathroom, wiping tears from his eyes. “I thought he was the manager!” He pointed to the manager.

“You two are most certainly NOT managers. Yes, I am the manager. What seems to be the problem here?” Asked the manager.

“I need allergy medications, and Alex needs testosterone pills,” Leo explained. “They keep refusing to help us.”

“I’LL help you then. Mr. Smith, you and your friends are all fired!” The manager said. Simon and Philip burst into tears as they always did when they were fired, and Susan and Amy both scoffed, “That’s so annoying!” Mr. Smith pouted and stamped his foot. The manager gave the three boys their medications, and they left the store as Mr. Smith began to have a temper tantrum, knocking medications off the shelves until finally security escorted them all out.

Fin.

***