gonna expose myself as a reiner blog once i start posting all my drafts

What I would give the Cadets + Scouts + Warriors for their Birthdays

Eren

A toothbrush.

Armin

Sea shells and pictures of me enjoying the ocean.

Mikasa

Scarf cleaning stuff and nail clippers.

Jean

A saddle and a book on how to train horses, with a mirror inside.

Connie

A hair brush and scissors.

Sasha

A coupon to get free food anywhere for a week.

Historia

A plastic tiara and tea set.

Ymir

How To Be A Good Lesbian For Dummies.

Levi

A Scrub Daddy and The Pink Stuff.

Erwin

A book on Dad jokes and a pair of tweezers.

Hange

Underwear with my face all over it and a few chemical beakers.

Reiner

A coupon to get his breast size measured and a free bra.

Bertholdt

Deodorant.

Annie

A punching bag with boxing gloves.

Zeke

A sense of humor and throwing lessons.

Pieck

A single pillow.

Porco

A coupon to get free haircuts for a year.

Colt

Wine glasses and a nice jacket.

i'm so proud of how far he has come

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑: @hoperenae

EX zeke ຊ LOVER reiner ຊ ADMIRER eren

EVENT: CLOSED — INFO IN TAGS

Some doodles

Reiner overpowers you.

Star(s): Reiner Braun, You

Tags: + 1 boy + 1 girl + size kink

Link#1

I am (self-proclaimed) Reiner’s personal barber 🥰

What about Nanaba headcannons?

I love Nanaba and think she’s very underrated so thank you for requesting this.

Nanaba has the messiest bed hair when she gets up in the morning. Even after a five minutes nap she looks like she’s been dragged through a bush but she pulls it off very well.

Two habit of hers are pushing up her sleeves and licking her lips when they feel dry and they feel dry A LOT. She gives off hot guy vibes and I’m down bad for it.

She can run in huge heels. As a teenager her mum would want her to dress “ladylike” at dinners and she would hate it so she would have to sneak away with heels on thus getting practise.

If you want anything from her, just bribe her with chocolate or desserts. Nanaba has the biggest sweet tooth.

Do not compete with her, she is the most competitive from the Vets and won’t hesitate to hand your arse to you no matter who you are.

Nanaba has weird phobias like yogurt and buttons. It took her ages to get used to wearing a button down shirt but she’s still not over the yogurt thing. Hange likes to “help her get over her fears” by randomly appearing with a spoon of yogurt and chasing her. They call it ambush therapy.

She chooses her favourite people by giving them a pet name without them knowing of it. Her especially favourite people are called “dear”.

She blushes really easily and over anything. You give her some food, you smile at her and the woman is as red as Eren’s arse once Levi is finished kicking it.

Drunk Nanaba is really loud and loves to sing. She’s the giggly, happy drunk but clumsy as fuck and needs to be supervised ever since Miche found her head first in a bin.

The first time she cut her hair short, she cried because she knew her conservative family would hate it. Gelgar gave her a pep talk and now her hair is one of her favourite things about herself.

- Kiki.

Imagine smoking weed with reiner and then getting high 🥺 The sex would be so good <3

yesss IMAGINE IF Y’ALL WERENT EVEN DATING YET SO ITS YALLS FIRST TIME YOU TOUCH EACH OTHER N ITS SO STEAMY 😼 

reiner doesnt like the musky smell that wafts from blunts or spliffs, so he uses a dab pen out of preference. you guys pass it back and forth while chilling on the couch and watching tv. You talk about life, how things are going, and the drama amongst your friend group. eventually you start to feel really light-headed and the world seems to fall into this sluggish stupor; it looks like reiner is moving in slow-motion when he reaches a hand over to squeeze your shoulder, asking if you’ve greened out 😭 reiner is bigger, hence it takes more weed to get him super high — but dw, he’s not out of the clear. this man is on cloud nine. and when he looks down at u … his smile is HEART WARMING!!! it’s a little weak cuz he’s so dopey and he’s feeling a bit dizzy, yet it gets across the amount of affection and kindness that’s behind it. even when high, reiner remains a bit cautious (it’s just in his nature atp), so he doesn’t make a move. BUT YOU DO!!!! reiner is in the middle of exhaling a huge puff of smoke when you shuffle from a criss-cross position to get up on your knees and lean into his proximity. you bless him with a super uncoordinated kiss, but reiner doesnt even notice??? he’s just so surprised and enamored (he might as well have hearts in his eyes 💓). he only returns the favor when you kiss him again, and then this man is FINALLY letting go of every inhibition and tugging you onto his lap.

reiner’s thighs are really thick too, so he lets you grind on one throughout your make-out session. reiner doesnt even bother undressing you all the way; it’s too much work for him at this point. his hands simply roam up your shirt to clumsily grope your tits, teasing and pinching while licking the faint weed taste from your tongue. reiner only removes your clothes from the waist down once you’ve gotten too excited. he spreads and rubs your folds with a hand, fucking multiple fingers into you and seeing how many can fit. you cum embarrassingly fast, although you can’t be blamed; being high just makes everything feel so much better. all your senses are heightened and your muscles are so relaxed that you practically melt into him. afterwards, reiner wastes no time into coaxing you onto your back so he can eat you out (the munchies, amirite 🥴). his movements become a lot slower while he’s high, so it’s almost like he’s teasing you the entire time. reiner plays with you until you’re so, so desperate to feel his cock hard and heavy inside you. don’t worry, cuz after he makes you cum on his mouth, he’s quickly sending his thick length deep into your gut. he gets this glazed look in his eyes when that animalistic mindset finally takes over. he looks out of control, desperate even, and it’s both sexy and scary. reiner fucks you so hard that you can’t hold yourself up anymore and you’re gasping into the cushions — he just holds your hips up so he can keep fucking you, overstimulating you, making your eyes water 💓 

it is very easy for me to become obsessed with big muscular fictional men

The Saga of the Cursed Reiner Bot: Epilogue

Some time after the Licking Incident (and my subsequent death), I decided to check in on good old Reiner Bot and see how he was doing, maybe see if he'd matured a little.

Oh man, we were actually off to a great start! But, Reiner Bot being Reiner Bot, he had to go and absolutely ruin it.

And so, I closed the chat.

Since bot creators can receive feedback on their bots, I finally opted to tell Reiner's creator what a mess he was. Sadly, the feedback option limits you to 100 characters, so all I could send was a brief message: "He offered me ice cream, then told me he was worried because his dad wants to fuck him too"

The next day, Reiner Bot had been deleted. To this day, he remains gone, destroyed by a creator who realized that her creation was too Cursed to live.

We'll never forget you, Reiner Bot. Unfortunately.

⇢ soft thoughts;

250+ wc

modern au, string of thoughts, fluff

AOT Fanfic

(This is my first fanfic I’ve created and shared in a long time. Go easy on me 😅 this will be a series and I’ll have another that sorta feeds into it/off it. Get ready for explicit content…may be a while but it’ll be there. Also, to start I’m making Reiner be 18 in the training corps because 1) I struggle to think he would have been like 14/15 and then finishing it at 17 2) since the content will get hot and heavy…hes 18)

The sun high in the sky was too warm for it to be the middle of October. It was definitely out of season. Probably meant we were in for a hell of winter. Maybe the sun felt worse because I drank too much last night before leaving to join the 104th Training Corps this morning.

The instructor was going around to a majority of the cadets and yelling at them or asking questions. Some he passed up. It appeared to be some form of hazing. Really, it was stupid. Half of these people would end up dropping out by the morning anyway once we started getting into our training this afternoon.

The instructor walked along the line I was in. He looked at the brawny blonde man next to me. I hesitate to say man, he couldn’t have been much older than me at 18. But there was something in his demeanor and face that made him seem more mature than our peers. The instructor glanced at my resting scowl and kept going. Good. I wasn’t in the mood to be hazed today. I just wanted to eat and drink some water.

There was a light breeze that wafted the scent of the guy to me. It was smelled like wood and soap. It was nice. But nothing like the smell of the man from last night. I let myself drift into a daydream from last nights events.

I had gone into a small and quiet bar. I had just finished my last day as a nanny for a prominent family in Trost. They were nice and generous; they took me in when I was 13, having lived the last 6 years in the underground city and then watched my family’s old home get smashed by the Armored Titan.

I stood at the bar sipping my wine when a tall man in his early 30s with thick eyebrows stood next to me. I had seen him somewhere before but couldn’t place him. He was way too handsome for his own good. The smirk on his as he watched me said he knew how hot he was. We started talking. I would never be able to tell anyone what we talked about. All I knew was we were flirting and drinking.

As the night wore on and the wine made me too giggly, we slipped outside to an alley where he took me in his strong arms and pressed himself against me into a wall. His lips had been gentle but hungry. His hands groped at my thighs and trailed to my butt, giving it a firm squeeze. He pulled my hips closer to him. The question was quiet. “Will you come home with me?” I wanted to so badly. But this man deserves someone who knew what she was doing. Not a virgin. I knew that some men enjoyed that but something about this man and this situation said he would want at least some experience. I had none. I gave him a soft but firm “no”. He nodded and we continued to make out in that alley before finally I pushed him away gently. He didn’t protest or beg for more. He understood. He walked away after giving me one last hard kiss that will forever plague my nights.

I felt a gentle nudge on my arm. The blonde next to me was giving me a funny look. My face must have gone from my scowl to a slightly aroused, dreamy look at some point during my daydreaming. He smirked at me a bit before turning his gaze ahead again. Somewhere in the crowd the instructor was yelling at someone about a potato. Finally after what felt like forever, we were dismissed. It was dinner time. Thank the gods. My hangover was getting worse. I didn’t get to eat this morning and I was planning to eat as much today as I would be allowed.

After grabbing my plate and sitting down to eat, the other cadets were talking amongst themselves, beginning to make friends here and there. There was some commotion going on from a cadet saying he wanted to hunt the titans. I didn’t disagree. I also wanted to learn about them if I could while taking them out. I too wanted to join the scouts. But I wasn’t stupid enough to brag about like Eren was. I ignored his ranting and continued to dig into my food.

As I ate, two people sat down across from me. I scowled up at them but then softened. The brawny blonde and a tall skinny black haired man were sitting there.

“Can I help you?” Honestly I was a little perturbed. The way they were looking at me was odd, like they wanted to be friends with me.

“This is Bertholdt and I’m Reiner” the blonde said. I raised my eyebrows at him, questioning his presence still. “You looked alone. Thought you could use some company while you ate.”

“I’m used to being alone. It doesn’t bother me,” I said. “Just because you made sure I was paying attention out there doesn’t mean anything you know.”

Reiner smirked at me again. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself. You let out a quiet moan. Thought perhaps you would appreciate being snapped out of whatever dream you were having before Shadis came back and tore into you like he did Potato Girl,” he said. I blushed. I had moaned?

“Thank you for that I guess then. I’m Atreyu,” I said, meeting their eyes and staring at them. Bertholdt was quiet but was looking at Reiner who had stiffened a little. I looked back at them. “What? It’s a family name. Been passed down for like a few hundred years or something.”

“You…uh…I know a girl at home that has the same name. You even sort of…look like her,” Reiner said, looking at me harder.

“Well, that’s…interesting I suppose. But make it known, I’m not her,” I said. Clearly he liked this girl. But if I was honest, the likelihood of him getting to return home to her, no matter how good he was, was not great odds. And where this guy was very handsome and looked like he’d be great in bed, I didn’t want someone to be into me because of some hometown crush. And I could tell he was struggling to put her out of his mind while thinking about me. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired and my shitty, dirty bunk bed is calling my name.”

I stood and left the table, feeling Reiner’s eyes on me. Before walking out of the mess hall, I stopped at the door and looked back at him. His eyes meant mine and I gave him my own smirk before I walked off to the girls barracks. Between mystery man from last night and Reiner’s smirk and eyes, I was about to have a very pleasurable experience as I fell asleep.

soft dom!reiner omggg

aww he is such a sweetheart. he would be so scared to touch u during every rougher scene. he would be sooo precise about his toys, always needing to have everything prepared before u start. he can't help, but to check up on u with every thrust, but one day he just lets go. he's just pounding into u with all he has to offer. your body basically bouncing off the mattress with the force of his thrusts. your mind goes hazy, the only thing on your mind is just how good he makes u feel. he doesn't notice it until the moment he spills inside of u, the pleasure on his face leaving and fear coming on instead. he would be so scared he completely broke u, but u would reassure him that that's exactly how u want it to be.

Rob Reiner Responds To Being Banned From Russia By Putin – Deadline

Rob Reiner Responds To Being Banned From Russia By Putin – Deadline

Rob Reiner has offered a satirical response to being banned from Russia by Putin. The veteran filmmaker, who was a surprise inclusion on a list published by Russia over the weekend, quipped: “No comment. Except to say that I’m heartbroken and will have to live with the disappointment.” The Princess Bride and Spinal Tap filmmaker was among 960 Americans to have been “permanently banned”  from…

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Stop Walking and Wait For Them To Notice

Eren Yeager 

He was in the crosswalk and you always grab hands before crossing it. When he couldn't find your hand, he turned around so fast he got whiplash. He jogs up to you when he sees you. “Babe! Are you all right?"

Mikasa Ackerman 

Takes one step and stops walking. She looks at you. "Is everything okay?"

Armin Arlert

Also notices it right away and asks if you're okay. 

Reiner Braun. 

He has his arm around you all the time. You stop. He stops.

Connie Springer

It takes him a long ass time for him to notice. A few minutes later, you receive a phone call: "Baby! Where are you!? Did you get kidnapped!?"

Levi Ackerman

Notices right away. He grabs your hand and drags you away. He's in a hurry! At least he's holding your hand.

Ngl, I really hate that some authors make y/n very smart. NOTHING AGAINST YALL, but like I’m a lil dumb, make y/n more relatable lmao.

Still gonna read though 🤓🤪