I'm a sucker for when person A looks at person B for the first time and you can just see it in their eyes that their whole world has shifted
(Inspired by @nebulablakemurphy and her amazing writing 😉)
WARNING: mentions of depression and dark thoughts; cursing, angst, mentions of abuse
Pairing: rue bennett x black!reader, rue bennett x black!plus size!reader, zendaya x black!reader, zendaya x black!plus size!reader
Word Count: 4.4K|masterlist|main
After being married for two years, Yn and Rue decided that they were ready for children. Meeting at seventeen through a mutual friend of theirs, their five year relationship blossomed into a two year marriage following it. If it weren’t for that fateful night at the soup kitchen that Ali made Rue volunteer at, she would’ve never met Yn. Yn wasn’t a saint by any means. Her problems weren’t addictions but merely an insecurity stemmed from an abusive upbringing. After her, her mother, and siblings fled from her toxic father, the soup kitchen was the first home she felt safe in. Once they were steady, Yn promised herself to volunteer every chance she could. And thankfully, Yn kept her promise.
When Rue met Yn, she was still fresh into her twelve step sobriety, still on a three month sobriety high. Ali dragged her to the soup kitchen to help volunteer, telling her that she needed something positive and outside herself to ground her. Rue wasn’t necessarily feeling the giving spirit, but when she fatefully saw you that evening in the kitchen making desserts, her heart jumped. She’d never seen someone so beautiful. Your bronzy pecan skin seemed to glow naturally under the fluorescent hum of the kitchen lights. She admired your long braids, how colorfully decorated they were and the many jewels that littered them and framed your curvy, busty figure. One thing Rue really appreciated was your smile. The way you laughed with some of the workers, showcasing those beautiful pearly white teeth had her stuck in a trance. The minute you two glanced at each other, the spark ignited. You two were never the same again.
From then on, spending time together felt just as natural as breathing. Trips to Fez’s store became strictly for ice cream and donut runs; nightly drives out to the park just to talk or go parking became routine until Rue introduced you to her mother and sister. Becoming a stable part of Rue’s life brought you so much joy that as years passed by, it dawned on you how much you truly loved her. On your fifth year dating anniversary, you asked Rue to marry you and the rest was history.
Now, two years later, you were welcoming your daughter into the world with a bit of struggle. Deciding on children had been difficult enough—Rue felt like she wasn’t ready, claiming she wasn’t sure her anxiety could handle the responsibility, while you were adamant that she was more than ready for it. You reminded her of her daily responsibilities from her work and her volunteering. You had talked about wanting a family for years and you assumed Rue would be on board with it. Once Rue saw how much you wanted children, you both agreed on how to go about it. Months of IVF and rounds at the doctor’s office with artificial insemination and you were finally pregnant. You both decided that it would be you to carry the baby, but you didn’t know that you’d have so many issues with it. You developed preeclampsia close to your third trimester and the toll it brought on your health caused you tremendous stress.
Rue tried her best to be there for you and once you gave birth to your daughter, she had hoped things would get better. Sadly, it didn’t. With the stress of the pregnancy, you developed postpartum depression. The day y’all brought your daughter home, Rue noticed a shift in your mood. You weren’t your usual cheerful, bubbly self. You were quiet and tired and you just stared out the window the whole time. As weeks went by, Rue noticed that you became sadder, angrier, and tensed. You stopped caring about your appearance, you were constantly frustrated and tired and no matter what Rue did, you would just cry. You cried when the baby fussed, you cried when y’all ran out of milk or orange juice, you cried at stupid insurance commercials—Rue was just confused and fed up. She didn’t know anyone that went through it and she didn’t know how to help. Finally, Rue had enough.
“Rue, you have to go back to work, you can’t stay on maternity leave if you didn’t have the baby.” Yn sighed. You sat in your shared bedroom, feeding your baby. You were up nearly all morning and it was now the afternoon. You were exhausted.
“I’m not sure if leaving you with the baby, alone, is a good idea right now.” Rue confessed her true feelings. You frowned and stared at your wife with an obvious glare, “Excuse me?” Rue’s eyes shifted slightly before she exhaled, mustering up some confidence, “Yn, you zone out one minute, then cry the next. You nearly burned up the kitchen yesterday cause you checked out! You haven’t been yourself lately, and I’m afraid that if it's just you and the baby, alone—.”
“You better watch the next thing you say to me, Ruby Bennett.” Yn muttered coldly. The look of pure anger washed over her face, insulted by the way Rue was talking about her. But Rue didn’t back down, “I am sick and tired of tip-toeing around your feelings, you need a reality check. Your mood swings are all over the place and you’re not in any condition to be alone with the baby right now!”
“Fuck Rue, I’m exhausted!!!” You yelled, startling the baby. She clamped down, sucking harshly on your nipple before pulling away and crying. You hissed, jumping slightly as a frustrated sigh left your lips, “Damnit Rue, now look what you made do!” You carefully moved the baby to the other side of your chest and fixed your robe, “She was finally quiet!”
“There are bigger issues than that right now, something is wrong with you and I have tried to be patient, I have tried to help, but nothing is working.”
“Rue,” you growled, “I have been stuck in the house with a four week old baby who does nothing but shit and cry and quite literally, sucks the life out of me! I. Am. Exhausted! I barely get any sleep and I barely get a few minutes to myself!” Yn gets up from the bed and walks to the nursery. She paced back and forth, trying to get their baby to calm down. Rue stands near the entrance, shaking her head, “All the more reason for someone to stay with you!”
“I swear the god Rue, if you don’t stop beating around the bush and just say it, say what’s on your mind! You think I’m an unfit mother!”
Rue gawked, “What the fuck—I never said that!”
“Not in so many words, you didn’t!” Yn argued back, “Why else would you be suddenly so worried about me being alone with our daughter when I’m the main one taking care of her?!”
“Oh that’s bullshit and you know it!” Rue argued back, “I am right there with you, every night, feeding and changing diapers and bathing her! Don’t think that I don’t know you hide out in the bathroom just to be away from her sometimes!” She screamed. Yn shook her head, feeling tears of her own as she finally calmed their daughter long enough to place her in her crib. Yn then covered her with a blanket and stormed past Rue, still hurt and upset by the conversation. They argued nonstop for the next 45 minutes, turning into an all out screaming match before Yn got frustrated, grabbed her car keys, and left. Rue ran out of the house, screaming for her to come back inside but by then, Yn was halfway down the street.
Rue called her mother the minute you left, crying that you two got into a fight and that you stormed out without your phone. Thankful that she lived in the same neighborhood as her mother and sister, Rue was able to wait for her to be right over. Within minutes, Leslie and Gia were at y’all doorstep to comfort her. She explained everything, having felt safe enough to be close to her mother and sister again. She ended up crying so much that Leslie had to hold her up. Hours passed, nearly night time, and in those hours the women took turns taking care of the baby and cooking and cleaning. Rue left the baby with Leslie and borrowed her car to search for Yn. Six hours of nothing from Yn was scaring her. If there was one thing from their relationship that Rue held onto was her clingy nature with Yn, which Yn didn’t mind. She hated being away from her for so long.
When Rue couldn’t find their car anywhere. She went to the places she knew Yn would usually go and even tried some of their friends' places. She called Ali and even he hadn’t seen her. When Rue got home, she asked her mother if Yn came home. On the verge of a meltdown, Rue tried to not let her anxiety eat at her. By 9:00, Rue was blotchy and hiccuping from crying. As Gia tried calming her sister down, the front door opened. Everyone’s head shot up, watching you walk in. Your robe was tied loosely, revealing your stained t-shirt and the top of your gray sweatshorts. Your hair was in a messy, kinky bun and there was bags under your eyes. One look at Rue and you felt guilty. You never meant to stay out so late. You just wanted a moment alone to steady yourself. You were so tired, you didn’t want to get behind the wheel again until you were good enough to drive.
“Where the fuck have you been?!” Rue screamed at you, shooting up from her seat on the couch.
Leslie held Rue back, “Rue, watch it.”
Rue turned back to her mother, “No, she disappears for the whole day, with no way of getting in touch with her, she doesn’t call, and she—oh you wanna cry now?!” Rue snapped, watching as you broke out into tears. You wanted to scream but you couldn’t. You had no energy to.
“Sweetie, whatever's going on, you have to let us help you. You disappearing for hours without checking in made us worried.” Leslie spoke gently. You quickly wiped your tears away and put your keys on the coffee table. You didn’t know where to begin and it was irritating Rue,
“Where were you, Yn? Huh?! You scared me to death, I thought something happened to you!”
“I’m sorry, okay?! I’m sorry!” You shouted. Your lips trembled as more tears trekked down your face, “I got overwhelmed and stressed out and I couldn’t think straight, ok, you were right! I was scared!”
“Scared of what?” Gia interjected.
“Scared of myself..” Yn answered softly. She looked down at her hands, picking at the top coat of her acrylics. They shook from the adrenaline of her anxious body. “Rue, I ended up in a laundromat and didn’t realize it until it was closing.” Yn cried harder, burying her face in her hands. Gia rubbed your back until you calmed down enough to speak, “I kept spacing out and every time I closed my eyes, I was somewhere else! I ended up sitting in that diner we we used to go to and fell asleep cause I was just so fucking tired.” Yn exclaimed. She looked up at Rue who, still visibly upset, relaxed her body some. “I just needed to clear my head and I got anxious cause I was scared to drive. I thought I was gonna fall asleep at the wheel, Rue, baby, I’m so sorry.” Yn blubbered, crying even harder. Gia hugged her tight, letting her cry on her shoulder, “I’m just scared I’m gonna hurt our baby, I don’t wanna hurt Serenity.”
As Yn sobbed, the baby woke from her third nap. Leslie and Gia excused themselves, checking in on the baby. Hesitantly, Rue went to sit down on the couch. Craving the feel of you, she pulled you close and wrapped you in her arms. You bawled uncontrollably, body shaking from the fear you had inside of you. Rue swept her fingers over your hair and kissed your head. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Rue mumbled against her head, “I’m sorry you’re unhappy.”
“I’m trying not to be, I promise I am.” Yn sniffled, pulling away. Her bloodshot eyes stared into Rue’s equally bloodshot eyes. “I just feel like I fucked us up. I begged you for a baby and now I’m failing as a mother cause I’m having these terrible thoughts towards our baby and it’s scaring me.” Yn whimpered, “I keep thinking of just leaving her and when I did, it was so much worse cause I ended up missing her. I missed you. And I got scared because I didn’t know if I was gonna make it back home—baby, I was just driving and didn’t recognize where I was, it was like I was just on autopilot.” Rue squinted and stared at Yn strangely, fearing that something was seriously wrong with her.
“I wanted this beautiful pregnancy with beautiful moments and instead I was in and out of the hospital, stressed out that something might happen to her, scared that I could die; I got home and I didn’t feel that instinct that I’m supposed to have and it’s scaring me, Rue! I don’t feel like I’m attached to her and I love Serenity, I do, but all I can think about is how exhausted and sore I am and how I completely disappear mentally when I’m with her. You were right, something’s wrong with me.” Yn broke down once again. Rue shushed her, wiping her gliding tears away, “Shh, shh, listen to me.” Yn sniffed, wiping her face as Rue held her face in her hands. Yn held onto Rue’s wrists, giving her undivided attention, “You are not a failure, you are a wonderful person and great mother to our daughter. Yn, you have postpartum depression.” Rue spoke gently, shifting her eyes as Yn listened, “You’re not horrible for wanting a break. It’s ok to want to be alone.
“I’m sorry for making it seem like you were unfit cause you’re not. Baby, you’re a great mother to Serenity and you’re trying your best. You went through a lot to have her,” Rue stared into your brown eyes with worry. The woman she grew to love over the years was not the woman sitting in front of her, “that’s a lot of stress to deal with.”
“Rue what if I end up hurting her?” Yn whispered, terrified with the thoughts swirling around in her head. “What if I zone out in the kitchen again? O-Or when I give her a bath?? I shouldn’t be alone with her, I could end up killing her!”
“Hey, hey—shh, don’t do that.” Rue shook her head and gazed into your eyes, “I know that you wouldn’t hurt our baby. I know that, and I’m sorry I put that thought into your head. I wouldn’t put my trust in anyone else but you and that’s saying a lot, considering.” Rue always considered herself the risky parent. Being that she was a former drug user, she was afraid of taking care of a baby simply cause she felt she wasn’t fit for one. But after Serenity was born and Rue held her for the first time, she instantly felt the one thing Yn couldn’t. Inner peace. “We’re gonna figure this out, okay?” Rue pulled you close, hugging you tight until you calmed down. An hour later, Gia and Leslie left. Rue made sure you ate something and then sent you to bathe while she took care of Serenity. The large tub was filled with scalding hot water. You slipped your lavender and vanilla scented body wash in, making slight bubbles. After you stripped down, you released your hair from its bun and submerged yourself in the water.
After laying in the clawfoot tub listening to nothing but moving water, you opened your eyes and sat up, bringing your knees to your sore chest. You laid your head on your knees, once again zoning out and closing your eyes. You thought about the moment you found out you were pregnant and how happy you were. Then you thought about the months of morning sickness and the headaches and the high blood pressure and the amount of times you were hospitalized for passing out. You thought about the way your body changed and the stress and fear that you went through. You thought about the day you gave birth through a forced natural birth plan because it was too late for an epidural and the amount of pain you were in the next day for just trying to go to the bathroom. No one told you all the hardships of pregnancy, just the joy that was supposed to follow. No one told you what to do once the child got there, whether you'd potentially screw them up cause you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s what terrified you the most. Not knowing if you’ll raise a good person as a result of whatever action you impose on them.
“Yn?” You slowly raised your head, staring past your wife’s face. She grabbed the stool in front of the vanity and sat in front of you. Moving some of your wet hair from your face, Rue traced her fingers along your jaw and tilted your face to look at her. You blinked, realizing where you were, “You blacked out again, didn’t you?” She asked you quietly. But you didn’t need to respond. The gentle tears cascading down your face as your fearful gaze pierced hers was answer enough. Your lips trembled as you lost all ability to speak. Rue leaned over the tub, pressing her forehead against your own, “I’m scared too, okay? I’m scared for you, for us, about everything and it’s killing me that I don’t know how to fix it.” Rue’s voice wavered, her own facade weakening. “But I can’t lose you right now, okay? We said for better or worse. When you took my name, we said for better or for worse, Yn Bennett. So baby, I need you. I need you to pull it together cause I’m better with you than without you, okay—you saved me.” Rue whimpered, “You saved me from myself. I love you so much and I can’t do any of this without you.” She cried.
Yn raised a shaky hand from beneath the water and pressed it against Rue’s face, “I’m trying baby…I’m sorry, I’m trying.” Yn cried. Rue sniffled, pulling back to wipe her own tears before leaning back to reach for the shampoo and conditioner. She stood up and placed it on the stool before stripping herself of her own clothes and climbing in behind you. Rue wrapped her arms gently around you and held you. She kissed your shoulder and just held you. You closed your eyes, more tears fell down your face as you shuddered a breath. After Rue washed your hair, she got out of the tub, dried off, and threw on a t-shirt. She then changed the sheets while you dried off, getting the bed set up for both of you.
Rue took care of you. She made sure you both were nice and warm after she put lotion over you both and combed your hair out. She braided your hair down in two French braids, making sure to add the usual stuff you used before doing it to herself. While you rested your head against the silk pillow cases, Rue went to check on the baby one more time before calling it a night. She wrapped you in her arms and snuggled close, waiting to be near you. You hugged her body to yours, needing her just as much. Sometime in the middle of the night, much later, Rue felt around the sheets, searching for you. When she didn’t feel your body, she opened her sleepy eyes and frowned, growing concerned. When she didn’t hear the baby on the baby monitor, she panicked, assuming the worst had happened.
Rue quickly threw the covers back and sped out of the bedroom, heading to the nursery. When she heard your laugh, she halted at the door, peeking in quietly. You sat in your rocking chair, breastfeeding Serenity and dancing her stuffed elephant in her face. Rue saw a genuine smile on your face, one she hadn’t seen since the first ultrasound. “Do you know, if it hadn’t been for your mommy, I wouldn’t have had you?” Yn spoke softly. Rue was intrigued, moving closer to the wall to listen, “She thinks I saved her but the truth is, she saved me. I never knew a greater love til the day I met Ruby Bennett.” Rue bit her lip to keep from smiling, her eyes misting over slightly. You put the elephant down and played with Serenity’s curls, “Funny enough you look like your mama even though you came out of me, that’s strange.” Rue chuckled to herself at the comment.
“I met your mama when we were seventeen and my life was finally getting better. Your grandma got an apartment and me and your aunt and uncle were finally in a safe place..” Rue frowned, remembering how you would talk about your situation. There she was, missing her father, when yours was cruel and didn’t want you. She realized she had it good, “I was feeling bad about myself still though. I felt like nobody understood me and nobody loved me or wanted me. I know it’s not true, but back then, I didn’t. Not until I met your mama. She looked at me like I was the only person in the room. She’s the only one that takes my breath away.” Yn remarked. Rue was full on crying at this point.
“I’m so grateful for her. Your mama Rue kept pushing me to be better and she doesn’t even realize it. She made me believe that I’m worthy of love even when I didn’t think I deserved it.” Yn sniffed as she wiped her own tears away. She looked down at her daughter, who was struggling to stay away as she fed. “You know she named you? Our Serenity Celeste. Our heavenly peace… I made her put her last name as yours cause she is the sole reason I have you. It’s gonna sound crazy but the day I met her, I was picturing a whole life with her and you were there. With her curly hair and smile. And we were happy. I finally got what I wanted.” Serenity stopped puckering and pulled away, licking her tiny lips and ready for sleep. You fixed your shirt and brought her to your chest. “Serenity Celeste Bennett. The greatest gift in the world and it took realizing how much I loved your mother for me to be the mother I needed to be for you. She’s the very embodiment of you and I know it’s too early to see her in you but I do and I can’t wait.”
Having heard enough, Rue wiped her eyes and slowly walked into the room. You looked up and smiled, “Oh, hi baby.” You greeted tiredly. Rue walked over and planted a kiss on top of your head. “She’s asleep?”
“Yeah, I just fed her.” You gently patted Serenity’s back until her tiny burp was heard. You stood up and carefully swaddled her in her crib. Rue stood behind you as you traced a finger down the swell of the baby’s plump cheeks. It’s crazy how much she looked like Rue even though you were the one that gave birth to her. “You heard every word, didn’t you?” You deadpanned. Rue wrapped her arms around you, her lean body pressed into yours, “I did.” She admitted, “Every single word.”
“I am grateful for you, Rue.” Yn turned her head, staring at her wife, “I really did picture my life with you and it was the only life I could see. Anything else would’ve been a lie. You've been through so much too and you need to know that I love you more than anything in this world. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have scared you like that, I know what that does to you.” Rue didn’t say anything. She brushed back the fly always in your hair with her fingers and kissed you softly on the lips. Her other hand gently rubbed soft circles on your hip as the kiss deepened. She pressed her head against yours as the kiss ended. “We saved each other..” She agreed. You smiled to yourself, leaning into her touch.
The following morning, you were the one that woke up to an empty bed. Your start was slow, having felt too comfortable to get up. But once you noticed the quiet, you quickly got up and rushed to the nursery. You slightly panicked as you noticed the empty crib and the missing stuffed elephant. You looked around the room until you noticed the note taped to the bedroom door that you hadn’t noticed before:
Took Serenity to my mother’s so we could be alone for the weekend. Be back soon, love you
Your body relaxed as you made your way back to bed. You climbed in and threw the covers over you, relaxing fully against the pillows. Your eyes closed for a moment before you heard the front door open and close. You wanted to get up and greet Rue but you were just too tired. You heard her rushing down the hallway to your bedroom and watched as her smiling face entered. “Morning. Got you twisted glazed donuts and chocolate milk.” Rue held up your items from your favorite donut place, taunting them in your face. You smiled, motioning for her to come to you.
Rue kicked off her shoes and crawled into bed as you sat up. You peaked in the bed once she handed it to you, seeing three glazed twisted donuts and a bottle of chocolate milk. You leaned over and kissed Rue, getting some of her powdered jelly donut on your own lips. You laughed as you wiped the side of her mouth while she enjoyed her own donuts. “Thank you my love.”
“Anything for you. We’re gonna be ok, ok?” You nodded, agreeing as you laid your head against her shoulder. Rue grabbed the remote from her nightstand and turned the tv on to put on one of y’all favorite shows. Right now you two were binge watching This Is Us. You two talked and ate, reminding you how simple the beginning of your relationship used to be. You were excited for what else was waiting for you. All three of you.
@mauvecherie @19jammmy @xsweetdellzx @bamakakechick @brwnsugababe @brownsugarcoffy @browngirldominion @chaneajoyyy @champagnesugamama @nebulablakemurphy @calmdownandlistenn @btitannaaaaa @bugngiz @babypink224221 @cecereads209 @complacentviawattpad @chocoflagcutii @chocolatedippedinhoney @dezi-rella @freddiedijon @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @honeyandpeaches @itskikilove @imtiredbri @justinetheoreo @jurneesjourney @koko-michelle @lotusss-flowerbomb @laketaj24 @laelovee @lilac-tea-time @leahnicole1219 @m3lanin04 @miyuhpapayuh @melaninspice1 @msreshel @mdmecjskywalker @motheroffae @naysianaee @nubianbabe @merranerra @richblackgirl @sadthotsonlylove @soufcakmistress @sourbabynaee @theficplug @thickemadame @theogbadbitch @twocentuar @uzumaki-rebellion @toni9
Zendaya en un nuevo comercial
I love Elliot and Y/N they get each other. Will we see more of them?
We will! Next chapter is baby shower (with some uninvited guests), after that baby is born, then possibly epilogue.
EUPHORIA Stuntin' Like My Daddy
Sydney Sweeney and Maude Apatow
Alexa Demie and Hunter Schaffer
Rue Bennett. Because we love a bedazzled crackhead.
Zendaya for Bvlgari Enexpected Wonders, 2022
Zendaya on Set for her new movie - May 22nd, 2022
Zendaya for Bvlgari campaign
Directed by : Paolo Sorrentino
Summary: Progress isn’t always linear. Companion series to Because Of You & Before You. Warning: this is a mature series that includes mentions of drug use/overdose, mental illness, explicit language and mentions of sex.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
“Hey.” Y/N says, leaning against the brick wall, outside of Elliot’s apartment complex.
Elliot lets out a puff of smoke. “Hey.”
“Can I have some of that?” She asks, hoping to break the ice.
Elliot reaches into his jacket. Wordlessly producing the cigarette pack with his lighter stuffed inside and handing it to Y/N.
“Thanks,” she lights up her own smoke before giving it back. “I talked to Rue and Jules.”
“What’s the general consensus?” Elliot takes another drag.
“I’ve been,” Y/N takes a deep breath. “What you said about keeping us at arms length, to be respectful of our relationship…I think I was doing that too.”
“Because of Rue.” Y/N stares down at her feet. “I cannot lose her.”
“I don’t want to take Rue away from you.” Elliot clarifies. “I know how special she is to you. She can still be special.”
“What if she gets jealous?” Rue swears up and down that this is gonna be ok.
“Anyone could get jealous.” They’d have to work at it.
“I would be down to try that. If you still want to.”
“Why are you doing this?” Because she feels bad? Because he pushed too hard?
“I can’t promise that this is forever.” Y/N admits. She doesn’t think it will last. But she can’t go the rest of her life wondering ‘what if.’ “I can promise that I’ll do my best to leave things on good terms. Would that be enough for you?”
“Well, Y/N we received the rest of your blood work. HCG levels are normal. Genetic markers all look normal.” The obstetrician tells her, through the phone speaker.
“That’s great.” Y/N unclenches the hand that’s been balled into a fist, at her side.
“We’ll see you back, at the end of the month, for your twenty week anatomy scan. Would you like to schedule that today?”
“I need to clear the date with the intended parents. Can I get back to you?” Y/N asks.
“Thank you. Have a great day.”
Y/N ends the call, walking back into the living room with a smile.
“What was that?” Rue smiles back at her.
“Oh, just the doctor’s office.”
“Yeah, they just wanted to set up the anatomy scan. I need to text Jules and figure out a date.”
Rue nods. “You sure you don’t want more kids?”
“Rue, I love you.” Y/N begins, “our kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. So please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want another baby.” The last five words tumble into one.
Rue let’s out a sigh of relief, “me either.”
“I feel like we just got this whole thing under control. A third kid would just throw a wrench in the whole operation.”
“It could be fun though.” Rue raises a shoulder.
“Rue, are you feeling ok?” Y/N puts the back of her hand to Rue’s forehead.
“I would do anything with you.” Rue vows. “I’d rather it not be that,” she clarifies. “But uh, I’m still crazy about you.”
Y/N blinks at her, feeling tears prickle at the corner of her eyes.
“I can’t help it.” ￼
“No,” Rue pouts. “Stop.”
“I’m so happy.” Happy that things are ok with the baby. Happy that Rue is home and she can breathe again.
“Good, be happy.” Rue pulls her in, wrapping her arms around Y/N. Her belly resting between them.
“Are you happy, Rue?”
“I never knew that I could be happy…stay happy. Then I met you. Even when things got bad, I knew they wouldn’t stay that way forever. Because I had you and you had me.” Now Rue is crying.
“Did you feel like you didn’t have me?” Y/N smooths a hand over Rue’s curls.
Rue kisses the side of her face. “For a minute. But I think most of it was in my head. I didn’t realize you being pregnant would effect me the way it did. Like I’m just fucking standing here on the outside, watching you and Jules and Elliot.”
“You’re as involved as I am. We’re both on the outside and it’s weird. This whole thing is weird and different. When I was pregnant with Sawyer, all I could think about is how happy I was to have a family with you. I didn’t worry like I do now.
It’s a lot more pressure doing it for someone else. I’m responsible for every single thing that happens to Elliot and Jules’ kid, until I can pop this sucker out. I feel bad complaining because I knew what I signed up for, and I do want to do this. I just didn’t know it would feel this way.”
“How could you know?” Rue breathes, “nobody knew.”
The concept of marriage was different to Y/N when she was a kid. You pick a person who generally annoys you less than everyone else, merge your finances. You build a life, grow old and then you die.
What she didn’t know, is the extraordinary hold a person can have. The way she was put on this earth to find Rue. To have and to hold, as long as they both shall live.
The thought of losing Rue, even to something as inevitable as death, is unbearable. It’s a blessing and a curse to love someone the way she loves Rue. The way Rue loves her. This is it, everything she ever wanted.
“It’s our turn for the one on one?” Elliot asks, watching Rue slink around the corner of his doorframe.
She remembers her ‘intervention.’ “It sucks getting ganged up on.”
“Yeah.” Elliot looks away. “Look um-”
“We can skip the lengthy apology. I told you six years ago, I forgive you.” For Jules, for Y/N, for all of it. “I understand that sometimes things happen.”
“If I knew the way it would go, I would’ve done things differently. Everything has to be transparent, everyone on board, or we just don’t do it. It’s gotta be right for all of us.”
“Tell me how this works, so I can try to wrap my head around it.” Rue kicks at his sneaker with her own.
“Well I think we’d have to figure most of it out.” Elliot kicks back.
“You don’t have a plan?”
“I just want to be with you,” Elliot explains, “there’s no pressure to do anything. But we can, if we want.”
Rue scrunches up her nose. “Are you in love with Y/N?”
Elliot nods. “But also Jules.”
“Are you in love with me?”
“I literally said so yesterday, in front of everyone. I’m not sure how much more of a declaration you need, but I’m sure it could be arranged.” He cocks his head to the side, catching her gaze and holding it.
“I don’t need a declaration.”
“Y/N is everything to me. I think you’re the only person in the world who loves her like I do. Jules is different, I know they wouldn’t run away together. I mean maybe they would,” Rue shrugs.
“I don’t want to run away with Y/N. I want to be with her, with your blessing. I want to be with both of you. I want to be with Jules.” It’s simple and complicated.
“Tight.” Rue agrees, “I’m in. On a trial basis, of course.”
“Look, Mama. It’s all of us!” Cameron comes rushing over to Rue. A piece of construction paper in hand.
Rue grins, taking it gently. “Did you make this?” Ever since she got home from Florida he’s given her a ‘gift’ everyday.
“Mhm.” He moves onto his tippy toes. “It’s you and mommy, holding hands. Then me and sissy in the front.”
“It’s beautiful.” Rue is slightly confused by one of the details. “Hey Cam, what’s that?”
“The arrow here goes to Mommy’s tummy with Jules’ baby in it.” He points to the wayward line connecting their family to Elliot and Jules.
“Oh, ok. I get it.” Rue cocks her head to the side.
“Elliot’s waiting to catch it.”
“That’s why his arms are up like that?” She definitely appreciates the vision.
“Yeah, he’s smiling because he’s happy. He can teach Jules’ baby how to talk and play,” Cameron tells his mother.
“You know it’s Elliot’s baby too, right? Jules and Elliot’s baby.”
“I know,” he shrugs.
Rue smiles, brushing curls from his forehead. He’s completely unbothered by the particulars, unbothered by anything really.
“Do you wanna draw with me?”
“Yeah, I think you’re better than I am though.”
“I know what you’re thinking, they saved the best for last.”
Elliot smirks, making room for Jules at the foot of his bed.
“I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I’m sure you have too.”
“Yeah,” Elliot clears his throat. “What happened in the bathroom was not my finest hour.”
“When we were talking-” she breaks off.
“What?” Elliot wonders, tapping his fingers against her knee.
“It’s fucking embarrassing.”
“No, tell me.” He insists. “Please.”
“I meant those things I say, about after college.”
“Yeah.” Elliot nods, “me too.”
“I feel like we could really be something, solid and permanent if we gave it a chance. That terrifies me.”
“You’ll break my heart.”
“Why do you think that?” Elliot sighs.
“Because everyone else did.” Jules blinks at him. “Besides you and I don’t have the best track record.”
Elliot licks his lips. “I love you, Jules. I want you to be happy. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to break your heart.”
Jules pulls her mouth away from the nail she’s been biting at. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know how to do this. But I’m willing to learn.”
“So Rue, how was the convention?” Leslie asks her daughter, as they begin loading the dishwasher.
“It was good.” This family dinner has been a lot less awkward than the last.
“Sawyer told me Jules went with you, and Elliot was at the house with Y/N.”
“Yeah,” Rue lifts a shoulder, “so?”
“You seem much better than the last time I saw you. So whatever happened…I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Rue gives her a soft smile. “It was a really good trip. I needed it. But I missed Y/N, I missed the kids. I missed my life. I love my life.”
Leslie looks to her daughter, unshed tears in her eyes. “I haven’t heard you say that in a while.”
“It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday. You start taking things for granted and you almost forget to enjoy them.” Rue purses her lips. “It’s good to be back.”
"I love you, that's all" and "so....do you love me back?" with Rue please. Love your writing btw!
thank you 💖
"what are you looking at?" you asked trying to cover your face with your book. rue was sitting across from you and you couldn't help but feel flustered by the way she'd very obviously put down her book to look at you every few seconds.
"i love you, that's all," her voice was sweet as she looked at you adoringly. you put your book down looking at her seriously. your mouth was open and you were trying to process what she'd just said. did she say she loved you?
"so...do you love me back?" rue asked scooting closer to you with a cheeky smile. she knew the answer to that, but she wanted to lighten up the mood. was there another way she had to tell you she loved you? it just came out and rue was always one to let things out.
"yes, rue." your voice was tender as you leaned over closing the gap between your faces. the kiss was sweet and she prolonged it by cupping your face. your knees touched and you happily melted into her.