it's been a month, that's for sure.
well, actually, it's been two months, but april was calm compared to may, all things considered.
april came with a return to regularly scheduled programming: songwriting lessons wrapping up, normal, average trainee lessons replacing them once more. that meant indy returning to the boy group evaluation group, which was...sparse, to say the least. thankfully, legacy agreed with him, and when he was called for the exact meeting he expected, he was surrounded by different male trainees. for a second, he thought this meeting was for something else, but the pieces fell together before long.
new members of the evaluation group. he looked around at them, immediately picking out jiahn and cam, and he couldn't help the smile that crossed his features. he would play it off as wanting to appear friendly and welcoming to the newcomers, not extreme bias, because that was true too. most of all, however, he was overjoyed for his closest friends to join him in what indy feared all this time was a group preparing to debut.
he knew he should've been thankful before. it's an amazing opportunity, after all, and indy is here training to be an idol. it's clearly a step closer to what is supposed to be his goal, but...isn't really, and that was the exact reason why he couldn't celebrate making it into the group when more ambitious trainees, like jiahn, were no longer there.
now, however, it's different. now, jiahn, cam, and all of the others are here. indy is surrounded with talented, friendly people that he knows will push him to improve and be good company in the process, even if cam and jiahn weren't included, but they were.
of course jiahn cried as soon as the meeting broke up. of course indy comforted him, then realized he's probably been in love with him for ten years. no, that last part isn't important. when it came to training, he had to put it out of his mind and focus on doing his best.
still, he practiced with the group during training hours, then practiced with jiahn most of the time after, both of them challenged to work on their singing. indy's singing is abysmal, so he understands why they told him to. if they're picking out weak skills for trainees to improve, indy doesn't know why they singled out jiahn's singing. maybe they just want him to be even better.
he waffles on what song to pick for about a week, due in part to still not knowing his seniors' discographies well. he brushes up on them, but still doesn't properly decide until he really sits down with cam and lays out his options. then, he settles on love scenario. it's a fun, upbeat song without a high note. it seems manageable. hopefully legacy doesn't expect him to choose a song that's extra challenging, right? he isn't a belter, that's for sure.
as he practices, he can't help but think of one of the first things a coach said to him in legacy: you should quit trying to be a singer. that's a large reason why indy chose to focus on rapping during his time in legacy. he always thought he was hopeless, but here he is, forced to do his best in a category he knows he's weak in. that's all he can do: his best, and he practices hard, determined to make his new best better than it once was.
he helps out where he can, like when dowoon comes to him about dancing, and it feels strange. he is one of the few members of the group standing from the last round of additions. in that way, he has a little seniority, and he doesn't know what to do with it. he has never been the most responsible person, but he figures as long as he's kind, everything will work out. it usually does.
he doesn't question that philosophy until jiahn starts ignoring him. he doesn't even question it when lee hyemi chews them out, because he can't be rotten. maybe he can do better; he's sure he can, and he'll try, but as long as he's kind, everything will work out! that's what his mom always said.
jiahn never ignored him like he did the week before they were set to perform. it made indy question everything, because he is only in legacy because he followed jiahn here. it's jiahn's dream, and indy's dream is to stay with jiahn and make people happy while he does it.
he tells jiahn as much when they finally sit down to properly talk. in some ways, the interaction is a disaster: they both cry their eyes out, their friendship nearly falls into shambles, and indy confesses. somehow, however, it's what they needed. jiahn likes him too, and they sit behind a bush in a park and ask the questions they need answers to. they don't have them all the first night, but they settle on the fact that they're partners now.
indy still has some questions, but they also agreed to focus on training first and foremost whenever they're in the legacy building, and in the remaining days leading up to their performance, he spends a lot of time at the building. doing well now matters to him more than it ever has.
he wants to stay in this group with jiahn, and maybe he wants more time: time to make his own dream here, and to prove he can succeed.