#tf Tumblr posts

  • pineapple-juice-or-tomato-juice
    22.05.2022 - 16 minutes ago

    RWBY X Bayonetta x TFS Hellsing: Meeting the Grandparents

    Summer: Oh it’s going to be great! I haven’t seen my Papa since I was a little girl.

    Taiyang: Summer, he abandoned you! In the woods!

    Summer: Nonsense, he just went out for a very, very, very, long walk! And I was picked up by a group of nuns till I went to Beacon so it wasn’t like I was in any danger.

    Qrow: What about those night terrors about fighting off wolves and Grimm?

    Summer: Oh I’m sure Papa just mistook those nasty things for puppies. Anyone can make a mistake.

    Alucard: Oh my little Sunshine, look how big you got!

    Summer: Papa!

    Alucard: I heard your a huntress now, good for you.

    Summer: That’s right, I’m the leader of my own team.

    Alucard: Neat.

    Summer: This is my Husband Taiyang, and my BFF Qrow! You can meet the your granddaughters when they wake up.

    Alucard: I have grandchildren? Show me! Show me!

    Taiyang: First things first.

    *Taiyang punches the vampire king so hard in the stomach, he’s sent flying into half a dozen trees.*

    Taiyang: That’s for abandoning your daughter! Ya prick!

    *Alucard returns by a clutter of bats. Slowly dusting himself off.*

    Alucard: Well, I haven’t had a punch hit me that hard since Van Hellsing. I like you blonde, Put er here sonny boy!

    Summer: Yay

    Both Qrow and Taiyang looked baffled.

    Qrow: ”so who’s your mama?”

    Bayonetta: ”Well helloooooo handsomes....”

    Summer: ”Mommy!”

    Bayonetta: You there. Bird boy. You look familiar...is your dad's name Dante?

    Qrow: ”Oh no....”

    Bayonetta: Ah so it is....tell me how are he and Vergie?

    Qrow: I think you mean my sister

    Bayonetta: Ah yes. Right. Wrong set of twins. Anywho, where are my grandbabies?!

    Ruby: Aren't you a little young to be our granny?

    Bayonetta: I like this one!

    Later that evening

    Yang: So lemme get this straight... hair is also your clothes...?

    Bayonetta: -nods and sips tea- Correct.

    Yang: Teach me!

    Alucard: Darling didn't we agree NOT to teach the children dark arts?

    Bayonetta: That flew out the window when you taught Ruby and Summer how to laser blast grimm with their eyes

    Alucard: I hardly think that counts dear, It's literally light. How can that be considered a "dark art"? Besides, I don't even know where they got that from. It's not even one of my powers.

    Bayonetta: Hmph! it probably came about when you slept with that church full of nuns while I was 'asleep' for a century!

    Alucard: oh come now darling the bloodline needed preserving and you know damn well those goodie-goodie cloaks didn't hold a candle to you.

    Bayonetta: Hmph flattery will get you nowhere!

    Alucard: Except for between your legs

    Bayonetta: Darling! Not in front of the children!

    Alucard: Y'know in my defense? My fetish for nuns whips chains and torture all began with you love.

    Tai: -Whispers to Summer- So is this why you are so uh...

    Summer: Freaky borderline demonic in bed due to years of celibacy? Yes. Yes it is.

    Bayonetta: I Do hope at least your first time was blissful dear.

    Summer: -blushes remembering said first time- It was uh... intense...to use a word.

    Tai: -pulls his collar and sweats- Really glad that Qrow took Yang on a trip to Vale that day

    Bayonetta: Ohhh la la~

    Summer: Moooom! No! He's mine!

    *as Salem is coming to Atlas*

    Yang: Ruby I think it is time we had are team meet are grandparents.

    Ruby: I believe you are right Yang.

    *Ruby pulls out her scroll and makes a call and puts it on speaker*

    *on the other end a phone is going off singing *I'm a bitch I'm a woman*

    Alucard: Oh it's Ruby I have to take this dear. *answers call* Ello.

    Ruby and Yang: Hey grandpa.

    Alucard: Hi girls what do I own the pressure of this call.

    Bayonetta: Hi girls.

    Ruby: We need some help and you two came to mind.

    Alucard: are they hookers.

    Yang: No.

    Alucard: and like that you lost me.

    Bayonetta: Darling!

    Alucard: I'm joking what is it you need help with.

    Ruby: someone is going to destroy Atlas and we need your help stopping her.

    Alucard: can I eat her.

    Yang: she is immortal so I don't know if you can.

    Alucard: I eat your grandmother every night.

    Weiss: gross.

    Bayonetta: is this on speaker.

    Ruby: It is.

    Alucard: Oh why didn't you tell us sooner we would really leave a mark on your friends.

    Yang: Maybe another time can you come help.

    Bayonetta: we just have to get dressed and we will be there.

    Ruby: ok see you in a minute.

    *Ruby hangs up*

    Blake: what do you mean a minute we are in the air and you didn't tell them where we are and

    *Alucard appears through the wall between Yang and Ruby*

    Alucard: HEY KIDS WANT TO SEE A DEAD BODY.

    Blake and Weiss: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

    *Bayonetta appears on the ship.*

    Bayonetta: darling do have to do that every time we meet new people.

    Alucard: yep.

    Ruby and Yang: Hey guys.

    Bayonetta: Oh look how big you two have grow- Yang what happened to your arm.

    Yang: It got cut off by a crazy guy.

    Alucard: Can I kill him.

    Yang: Already killed him.

    Alucard: That's my girl.

    Bayonetta: and who are these two.

    Ruby: there are team mates.

    Bayonetta: nice to meet you so for my husband's actions.

    Weiss: it's fine now we know where they get it from.

    Alucard: So who are we fighting.

    Ruby: her.

    *Ruby points out of the ship at Salem on a whale.*

    Alucard: I guess we are going to have a whale of a good time.

    Blake: yep there related.

    Alucard: Wait does she have a boob window.

    Bayonetta: Wait she does.

    Alucard: Ready to have some fun dear.

    Bayonetta: you know it darling.

    *both leave*

    Weiss: did.... did she have guns for heels.

    Yang: Yep.

    Blake: I thought my family was weird.

    https://www.facebook.com/RWBYfanart/photos/a.503857119978352/1067705766926815/  if you want the original source.

    #rwby#TFS#hellsing abridged#bayonetta #Alucard is Summer Rose's father #Bayonetta is Summer Rose's Mother #bayonetta x alucard #weiss schee #taiyang xiao long #summer rose#ruby rose #yang xiao long #Blake Belladonna#rwby crack#rwby crossover#rwby au#alucard#dracula
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  • mirainikki
    22.05.2022 - 19 minutes ago

    i hate clothes that are advertised as “one size” only like no the fuck it is not. just say skinny people and move on

    #sorry im kinda mad #i once bought some tights that were described as 'one size' #and when i put them on it wouldnt go past my ass and thighs and ripped #😂😂😂😂 who tf were they made for? sticks?!?!?!
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  • spiralchew
    22.05.2022 - 20 minutes ago

    the deed is done

    #i am going tf to Bed #i've got a bit of chap 3 started already but not much lol #wiptalk.txt
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  • memes-saved-me
    22.05.2022 - 32 minutes ago

    Okay but why is the ticket layout completely different to the Ticketmaster and official Stadium layout??

    #how tf am i supposed to get an idea of where my seat is?? #my chemical romance
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  • minuseven
    22.05.2022 - 34 minutes ago

    kaneki hates loud noises out of nowhere and this includes fireworks and im bringing this up cuz some dickweed is shooting off fireworks outside my window and it made me jump out of my skin

    #;sir this is my emotional support organ donor and transplant recipient. (ooc) #i stg i thought somebody was getting shot and it scared tf out of me
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  • thiagoats
    22.05.2022 - 50 minutes ago

    there are so many jordyn and alphonso edits on my fyp i’m so sad😭

    #AND joao felix gf cheated too? tf.
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  • meteorcrab
    22.05.2022 - 56 minutes ago

    Uh. Idk if I said this but how the fuck did musical!Raoul see Christine and Erik singing together and didn't say "you know what. I can't compete with that. Bye"

    #yes yes Raoul doesn't kill people #yeah I fucking know #shut up #you know what i DO like the book and i DO like the musical #not tf
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  • kiasummersalesevent
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    WAIT. i always see like maskeless optimus and soundy but. has anyone ever considered putting a mask ON megatron? or stsc i would love to see that wtf!!!!!

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  • sameboot
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    HNNNNG!! !!!!!11 posts old ripley designs

    ^back when he used to be a slightly more normal vampire that drank blood but also he looked like a 40 ur old man

    #figuring out his hair was more of a struggle than it should have been #but yes… i miss mr ripley so here is some behind the scnes bonus dvd content #ALSO… yea i changed his last name #used to be ward #i wish i couldve found the 2019 pencil drawings i did of him but idk where tf they are #my art#src
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  • s-e-v-e-n-38
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    They've been on my mind so shitty notes drawing

    #and by that I mean completely obessed #swindle#smokescreen#tf#transformers#idw
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  • s-e-v-e-n-38
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    Knockout about to go take the rest of the speedy boystm out illegal racing:

    Arcee who complained slightly but also full going along with this:

    Bulkhead who just stumbled onto them and is in the process of having his silence bought:

    Optimus: *Too tired for this bullshit tonight*

    #tf knockout#tf arcee#tfp knockout#tf bulkhead#optimus prime #Gonna make a fic outta this #It shall be stupid but glorious #fuck wait #I'll have to actually figure out who the members of the Speedy Bois club are #cause like it deoends on canon #tfp has knockout arcee bumblebee and smokescreen but like i wanna throw the twins in there abd some others just for fun #hm#tfp#tf#transformers
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  • allin1-accont101
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    Made this Funneh/Krew image meme, use it if you want:

    Also here's where I got it from:

    Original screenshot when I took it:

    Timestamp if needed cause y'all are lazy assholes: (49:30)

    #krew#krewfam#itsfunneh#memes #Lol i made my own image meme #totally gonna be famous for that shit #i'm bored#shitpost#ugah #yall bettah use my meme image or im gonna be outside your window or be under your bed making filipino noises #WHY TF IS OUTSIDE SO DAMN HOT TODAY #Youtube
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  • nelson-et-murdock
    22.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    i could go for a 10hr long hug (and also some crying) from foggy rn after this shift

    #jj’s thoughts #no because why tf is it so busy and none of its orders im making money off
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  • d0nkarnage
    21.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    Starborne, Dingbat, and Nightshriek: all my musician bots and how they look while performing. Starborne and Nightshriek are dating, Dingbat and Nightshriek are in a band together called Glitch Guts. Two of these poses are straight up stolen lmao

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  • callalili
    21.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    .

    #the way my roommate brought a new cat home and immediately let it roam everywhere unsupervised #when the cat that I've already had here since thanksgiving doesn't do well with new cats #basically ignored everything we said about introducing cats to each other #and then blamed 💫me💫 for it coming into my room in the morning and eating my cats food #when I leave my door open at night/early morning bc that's when my cat likes to roam the house #can not wait for October for us to move tf out #oh also kitten isn't vaccinated and hasn't been to the vet at all :) #but my fully vaxxed and neutered cat needs to stay locked in my room #like...... what the fuck #nd everyone's like aww ur cat can just deal with it :) new kitten is so cute #bro the new kitten is a full on stray off the streets I'm not letting my housecat near him???? #but yeah basically fuck my cat because he's skittish and only likes me and my bf #she was like :( I don't wanna leave my cat cooped up in my room just bc I haven't taken him to the vet #absolutely fucking ridiculous #like just doesn't give a fuck about anyone else #I've been fuming basically all day over it it's just so inconsiderate
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  • highfalutinuppitynegress
    21.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    I’ve cried so much today. I’m sick of it

    #tf is going on? #t
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  • eggespinator
    21.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    TRANSNORFERS: DUDE THAT MEETS SOME GUYS

    ISSUE 1 PT 1

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