#tf2 demoman Tumblr posts

  • feam-tortress
    16.05.2022 - 1 hour ago

    Different classes' "MEDIC!" calls rated by how they make me feel.

    Scout:

    Very distinguished, moderately loud, but his "Let's go, Doc!" sounds like he's inviting me to kill some bitches, not heal a bastard. Which isn't a problem per se, but I have the maximum damage output of a slug. Love the "Alright, I feel good!" though, makes me think myself accomplished while still remaining impersonal, great job. 8/10.

    Soldier:

    Professional, straightforward, matter-of-factly. Short but loud enough to be easily heard from a distance. "You deserve a medal!" is one of the best reactions to getting healed. 10/10.

    Pyro:

    Way too quiet, baby, I'm sorry, you probably have to press it fifty times before I register your voice as something other than the vaguely sexual noises from my neighbors' bedroom. 6/10.

    Demoman:

    Way too long, Jesus fucking Christ. I hear him hollering from across the map. He starts that "MEEEEEEEE-..." and by the time he's done with the "...-DIIIIIIIIIIIC" I've got him at full health. And what's that? You didn't need my help? 3/10.

    Heavy:

    He sounds like he's calling for his husband (true and real and canon). "I love this Doktor!" is easily my favorite response. Brought down only slightly by the tendency of some players to expect me to pocket them. Which. I mean. You got that massive pool of health, you can take a hit. 9/10.

    Engineer:

    So very polite. So eloquent. If anyone hurts him again, I will cry. I want to kiss him on the nose and protect him forever. "You're alright, Doc!" awww, you aren't half-bad yourself, you handsome devil. 10/10.

    Medic:

    He sounds like he's dying all the time, but if there are two Medics on the map, you bet your ass I'll heal the fuck out of my labcoated brother, if only because I know what it's like to be a high-priority target. Still too overdramatic though. 5/10.

    Sniper:

    Oh, you gotta really hurt him for him to call me. Especially love those interactions where a shy Sniper will hold back on the call until he's at 1HP, then see me healing him, and get a bit more confident calling for me in a pinch. I mean, they're hella useful near the front line, but most often they don't survive long enough without at least some heals. Anyway, that "Thanks, mate!" warms my heart, 7/10 but only because it's too quiet.

    Spy:

    French, 0/10.

    That's it, hope you enjoy!

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  • tf2husbandryofficial
    16.05.2022 - 8 hours ago

    so i've run into a little trouble :( i've got a little demoman guy i've been taking care of for quite a while now and things were fine; he responds really well to the bomb creation kits i bought for em, even some little poppers and his own chemistry set, eats rather well, has his scrumpy, but recently it's like he's upset and depressed and im devastated. he only responds when i give him scrumpy, and even that feels very unhealthy. he drinks through an ENTIRE stock if im not watching him carefully. i still love him with my heart but im worried i can't meet his needs. am i doing something wrong? i was thinking about investing in a piano or bagpipes, i heard demomen enjoy learning instruments, but i'm terrified it would be a temporary solution to something that seems ongoing.

    Have you considered setting up a playdate with a Soldier? Both Demos and Soldiers are quite fond of explosives, and taking them out to a quarry to set off some explosions is a great way to give them some enrichment. Be sure to check with your local fire department and emergency services before doing so, however.

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  • randomfromtf2comics
    16.05.2022 - 8 hours ago
    #team fortress two #teamfortress 2#tf2#tf2 comics #team fortress demoman #tf2 demoman#demoman#red demoman
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  • drink-bread-art
    16.05.2022 - 9 hours ago

    Pyro slumber party aka “the WORST slumber party Scout has ever been to”

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  • cooltf2facts
    15.05.2022 - 11 hours ago

    Demoman wanted to have a cozy self care day but he ended up getting stranded at the Teufort car dealership for 5 hours. Now he’s back at the base but very upset about his day getting disrupted.

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  • presidentbungus
    15.05.2022 - 11 hours ago

    it’s so upsetting to me that demo can’t wink. if he could he’d be the kind of guy who would all the time. he really deserves to. I think sometimes if he does a weird thing where he like smirks and moves his head in a circle and tilts his neck at a ninety-degree angle and blinks at you with meeting that was probably a wink. he’s so upset and he tries so hard. if you asked him what is the worst thing about being a cyclops he would say “not being able to wink” in about half a second. I feel so bad for him

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  • aprofessionalwithoutstandards
    15.05.2022 - 13 hours ago

    Ideal swordvan dynamic is "me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic" and both of them are under the impression the other is the bad bitch

    #back on this shit okay let's go #tf2 #team fortress 2 #sniper#sniper tf2#demo#demoman tf2#tf2 demoman#swordvan#demosniper
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  • sadie-shrimp
    15.05.2022 - 15 hours ago

    you ever have dreams where you are you but you’re also someone else but also a fictional charcter but you’re also in third person sometimes and sometimes you see yourself from someone else’s perspective and when you are a fictional character you still sound and look the same to yourself but not to anyone else but sometimes you don’t look like you and this all happens in the same dream? 

    #dreams#weird dreams #idk if anyone else ever gets those cinematic dreams #does anyone else get dreams like these? #or am i encountering some sort of scp and shit #one time demoman tf2 was like youre medic and i was just like ok i guess i am #thats kind of how they go
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  • darkness9000a
    15.05.2022 - 15 hours ago
    #darkness9000a #darkness9000.a.com #darkness9000 #darkness9000.a #tf2#tf2 heavy#tf2 demoman#tf2 spy#Carl#athf #heavy weapons guy #spy#demoman#medic#tf2 medic#fred flintstone #don’t call me fatso #15.ai #youtube#references#RED #tf2 red medic #tf2 red heavy #tf2 red spy #tf2 red demoman #Spy puppies#dog#heavy #aqua teen hunger force
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  • diedinparadice
    15.05.2022 - 15 hours ago

    I haven’t uploaded fanfiction in so long, I feel like I’m betraying some deep and buried part of me.

    Technically I have been writing, though. Just not uploading.

    When I finish chapter 2 I’ll upload the prologue and chapter 1 on AO3, so keep an eye out for it if this interests you:

    Dad!Spy

    Heavy/Medic

    Angst

    Merasmus

    An actual plot and end goal

    Sequel

    A healthy dose of drug use

    The void

    Oh god the eyes

    Excluding the prologue, I’m anticipating 20 chapters, and I’ve set it up for a sequel I already have a general idea of. Not to get ahead of myself or anything; I made sure to wrap it up nice, since it originally was going to be a stand alone.

    Waiting for feedback from beta readers on a few plot points I think may be a tad overwhelming, but other than that I just need to finish up chapters 1 and 2.

    So, casually plugging my AO3 in a post that was already an AO3 plug, make sure to watch for a new multi chapter fic uploaded by DiedInParadise on AO3.

    (Name undecided, and possibly a surprise. Post will be updated with proper details.)

    Complementary playlist soon to be linked.

    #team fortress 2 #tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 spy#tf2 scout#dad spy#tf2 fanfiction#tf2 soldier#tf2 engineer #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 sniper#ao3 fic #medic does drugs #possibly #my beta readers might nerf that since the story was fine without it #sniper keeps changing his mind #and I know I’m writing him but #it’s so fucking annoying #like pick a side Jesus Christ
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  • bitchapalooza
    15.05.2022 - 16 hours ago

    Sniper: Last sunday, called me mum 'n she tol' me i was ta be an uncle. Now i don't av a brothah awr sisder so i was confused. Come ta find out she's talkin' about the bloody dog. Liyyke wat, cunt. Fahkin' bloody oath cobber.

    Demoman: Ah mind gaun fishing wi' da ilka time he'd come hame fae a wirk trip. He wid let me hook oan th' bait. Shuid hae seen th' explosion it made! ah mean pure, sticking a bomb oan th' worm? bloody guid ideas that jimmy hud.

    Scout: So apparently tahry wrecked his cah in his own garage. Like how does a guy just do that. I know his eyes ah shit, but really how does that just happ'n! Not saying he's an igit because i love him and all, but. Y'know.

    Everyone else: What.

    #just note scout is talking in like a VERY thick accent and very fast too lmao #tf2 #tf2 incorrect quotes #tf2 sniper#tf2 scout#tf2 demoman
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  • wilburia
    15.05.2022 - 17 hours ago

    Any tf2 ships that are your personal favorites or that you just like ? (and PLEASE give any hcs you have for them :D)

    My favorite TF2 ship:

    Okay so...

    Do you want me to be honest with you? Because this is REALLY controversial. And also super rare, like almost-never-talked-about rare. It doesn't even have a proper ship name. My favorite ship is:

    ALL the mercs in a polyfidelity

    You may be thinking "Wait, that means Spy and Scout are dating!?" Yes, yes it does. And before you start typing that rant I just want to specify a couple of things:

    I would only ship this in an AU where they AREN'T related. I don't even really like the idea of Spy being Scout's father because that means he was a deadbeat dad. He never did ANYTHING for Scout or Scout's ma, even though he supposedly "loved" her. And, I also know that polfidelity's are VERY uncommon and is usually MUCH smaller than 9 people dating each other. Some of you guys may also be writing a paragraph because I decided to ship Pyro with the other mercs, and they have a child's mind. And to that I say, this is in another AU. Where even though Pyro still does experience hallucinations, they actually know that they are hurting people, they just don’t really care. Also, even though Soldier is still dating Zhanna none of the other mercs are involved with her. And yes, that technically makes it NOT a polyfidelity but, ehhhh, close enough.

    Besides, just think about it!

    You can take all your FAVORITE ships and have them all happen at once! Also, I can't help but imagine them trying to slip each other kisses on the field while still trying to keep it a secret from the other team. Or the look of heartbreak and defeat on their face whenever they see their loved one get killed, imagine Heavy's reaction to Medic's death happening whenever ANYONE on the team dies.

    The pet names, the cuddles, the movie nights! From stupid rom coms to war documentaries, to crappy action movies, to ten-dollar budget telenovelas, to cursed horror movies! By the end of each movie, there will always be someone crying, screaming, laughing, shocked, sleeping, bored, or making out. 

    ALSO! Imagine how much better the team would be when it comes to fighting! Not only would the team be battling with genuine RAGE for harming their loved ones, but the communication and cooperation would be SO much better! They might even learn a bit about each other’s “trades” which would make them much more dangerous. Imagine, them all knowing basic first aid so when Medic is busy they can make sure that they all don’t die, or them all learning how to rocket jump or remove a sapper from a sentry!  AND IMAGINE DEMO AND ENGIE AND MEDIC AND PYRO JUST GEEKING OUT TOGETHER! Trying to explain concepts like chemistry and biology to each other and them all just loving each moment of it! And Sniper just holding his hat over his face as the whole entire team just flirts with him as he tries and FAILS to hide how flustered he is! Or Scout and Spy trying to prove that they are in fact NOT gay as the entire team is just like “Bitch what we’ve been dating for like 2 years” 

    OH! And them both trying to prove how manly and badass they are but at night they are def the little spoon. OR the team BEGGING FOR kisses from everyone (which they obviously get)The sadists of the team swooning as they watch their loved ones blow the other team up from the inside out, the like three people who can cook on the team desperately trying to stop the entire team coming inside the kitchen to “help cook.” Medic yells at them all to stop smoking but when someone offers him a cigarette he takes it and shuts up. Speaking of Medic, it will actually start being fair about who they heal instead of just following around Heavy the entire time! 

    The whole entire thing is funny and chaotic and stupid but so so SO loveable and darling! I know I may get a lot of hate, or I may lose a lot of followers (mostly because of SPYSCOUT, even though in this Au they aren’t related) but you know what? I can’t help it, whenever I see a team of people together I always think “Okay but what if they kissed.” I know I didn’t exactly answer the question but EHHHHHH

    Fin.

    (SORRY FOR BEING DEAD! I’M CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH A BIG DEPRESSIVE SLUMP! ASK ME STUFF AND TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS! Also, no hate to u if u dislike this, just don’t be mean about it.)

    #tf2 batting helmet #tf2 flash fire #tf2 hop scotch #tf2 heavy hitters #tf2 texas two step #tf2 quick fix #tf2 headcanons#tf2 pyro#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#tf2 #tf2 Demoman headcanons #tf2 demoman#tf2 engie#tf2 engineer #tf2 speeding bullet #tf2 spyscout #tf2 4th of july #tf2 Boots n bombs #tf2 cold war #tf2 Helmet Party #tf2 Fruit scones #tf2 American Aviators #tf2 Freedom fries #tf2 Molotov #tf2 Bear grill #tf2 texas toast #tf2 burn ward #tf2 flaming arrow #t2 french toast
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  • doobnnoob-tf2
    15.05.2022 - 20 hours ago

    prompt: what kind of animal do you think each Merc would like to have?

    Scout: Unrealistically, a cheetah.  But that’s dangerous and also probably illegal.  After he’s thought long and hard about it, he’d probably decide on a horse.  They’re just as playful as dogs, you can still teach them to fetch, and he can decide if he wants to run alongside it or ride on it’s back.  What more could he want?

    Soldier: MORE RACCOONS.  Lots and lots and looooots of raccoons.  But most importantly, he wants a raccoon dog.  He loves their little hands and how crafty they can be.  Not to mention, their beady black eyes and fluffy faces.  He doesn’t understand why his teammates keep trying to tell him to put them outside.  If you didn’t want your stuff chewed on, you should have put it up better!

    Pyro: Jellyfish.  They’re like underwater stars and are surprisingly calming to just sit and watch.  Granted the whole water thing makes them uneasy but as long as the water stays inside the tank, they could make this work.  (”I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine.”)

    Demoman: A komodo dragon.  There’s no other real reason than they look really cool and they’re called dragons.  If anyone is a sucker for mythical creatures, it’s Tavish.  That and they just look real fat, and if there’s anything he loves more than myths and legends, it’s a fat animal.

    Heavy: A cat, if he could only find one he wasn’t worried about hurting due to his large size.  He especially loves kittens, but they’re too small and underfoot for his liking.  Reading a book and having a cat purring on his lap just sounds wonderful to him.  A mostly independent animal suits his tastes better.

    Engineer: A beagle.  Not for hunting purposes, he just loves those big ears and short legs.  And they’re small enough to sit in his lap while he’s working on experiments.  He’d also want a golden retriever, a family dog to lay by his feet.  If he really wanted, he could teach it to bring him his tools as well.

    Medic: As much as he loves and adores his doves, he wants a cockatoo.  Something to match his own goofy personality.  Though he isn’t sure if Archimedes would approve of having a bird larger than herself taking up his attention.  He has a soft spot for white birds in particular, but the Major Mitchell’s cockatoo is the one he’s had his eye on for many years.  A bird he could teach tricks to and even teach to talk back to him for when he gets tired of hearing his own muttering.  Now it’s just a question on who’s soul does he have to sell to get one.

    Sniper: Back before he got into the assassin business, he liked bird watching.  His father would yell at him for wasting his time, climbing trees with a pair of binoculars.  He’d want a kookaburra.  His mum had a wild one that would visit all the time and she’d feed, and thus he began to associate the bird with her.  Maybe he could also teach it to laugh at his jokes..

    Spy: A nice, big boa constrictor.  Maybe it’s because being called a snake so often gave him the thought, maybe it’s just because he wants something viewed as sexual draped across his shoulders.  Or maybe it’s because he has already made floor plans to get an aquarium installed in his smoking room and he knows Scout is terrified of them and it will deter him from barging in again.

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  • tf2fansderogatory
    15.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    Me, Shaking around DemoSolly: They So DUMB Your Honor

    Personally my interpretation isn't that Demo is also dumb I think Demo thinks COULD fix Soldier but thinks whatever is wrong with him is funnier. Like he knows better than to do half the shit they get up to but does it anyway bc he's here for a good time not a long time

    #as opposed to soldier who thinks it's all genuinely good ideas #answered by mick #tf2#demoman#soldier
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  • feam-tortress
    14.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    I think Demo is very handsome. This isn't just a personal opinion, I think he is a beautiful guy in-universe. He has some issues in that regard, could definitely use a self-esteem boost, but objectively? The man's built like a beast and his mug is gorgeous. The handsomest of all mercs. 11/10.

    #tf2#tf2 demoman #seriously though. lemme pick it apart #scout looks like the pathetic loser he is #soldier has an okay mug and zero ass and is only saved by how beautifully he emotes #pyro could be a god of beauty but he prefers to look like a postapocalypse cosplayer and i respect him #heavy is handsome to a very specific set of people. also no ass #engineer... is also kind of perfect actually but i bet he has a goggles-shaped tan #medic looks like. a bitch. smug and evil (his own words) #sniper has the look of someone who's been haunted for decades and knows the horrors of the deep and the terrifying #and spy is french #demo wins this beauty contest with a major lead #end of discussion
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  • tf2husbandryofficial
    14.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    Alliances Across Any Class :)

    Photo Desc: A BLU Spy and BLU Demoknight cornering a RED Sniper

    - Dr. Jasper

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  • tf2husbandryofficial
    14.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    DEMOMAN ATE A BEE HELP HELP HELP

    They do this a lot. Gently pat them on the back and the bee should fly out (factoid: bees are immune to stomach acid due to god’s will), then give them a beer for a job well done!

    Love, Lead Researcher & PR Specialist & “Tumber User”, Dr. Bungus

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  • tf2fansderogatory
    14.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    All of the mercs have eaten instant noodles before

    Scouy cause he had a big family

    Soldier just ate it dry

    Pyro likes the way it burns, but also they like the chicken ones

    Demo wanted to try it

    Heavy only had it once he got to America (he ate nothing but noodles for 3 days straight cause he fucking loved it. Still sends so many to his family cause its easy to make. He also sends translations of the instructions)

    Engie cause yeah

    Medic had it once when he came to America, and vowed to never eat it again

    Sniper eats it regularly

    Spy had to eat it at point in life, and doesn't like it, but appreciates the fact that it can be made in only a few minutes

    true and fact and canon. I love all these reasons- especially Heavy’s OUGH he loves his family so much <33

    #I’ve never had instant noodles before are they decent or bad or what #posted by ikea #anon#tf2#scout#soldier#pyro#demoman#heavy#engineer#medic#sniper#spy
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  • askthepoorlydrawnmercs
    14.05.2022 - 1 day ago

    I think Pyro should be allowed to play with demo's grenades

    i don't agree

    #tf2#pyro#demoman#ask #top10 asks i put way too much effort into
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